REVIEW: Nabisco Dill Sea Salt & Olive Oil Triscuit

Nabisco Dill Sea Salt & Olive Oil Triscuit

Remember a few weeks ago when New York Knicks point guard Jeremy Lin took the NBA world by storm, creating the phenomenon known as Linsanity and the neologisms that soon followed, like Linspiration, Linderella, Linvincible, and Lincredible.

Well, there’s a dillicious baked whole grain wheat cracker that has caused a dillirious frenzy in the snack world. What snack has caused this dillirium? Why it’s the dillectable Triscuit Dill Sea Salt & Olive Oil.

Look at how easy it is to come up with a bunch of made up words using “dill.” It’s not dillficult. BOOM! I did it again. It’s so simple I’m surprised Nabisco didn’t use one and put it on the Triscuit Dill Sea Salt & Olive Oil box, not even “dillicious.” They only put boring words and phrases, like “100% Whole Grain”, “Good Source of Dietary Fiber”, and “May Help Reduce the Risk of Heart Disease.”

I wonder if avoiding neologisms was dilliberate. BAM! I am a verbal machine that dillivers! Oh snap! You can’t stop me, you can only hope to contain me!

To be honest, I’m surprised I put this box of Triscuit into my shopping cart because I’ve never really cared for them. I’ve always considered Triscuit crackers to be “not Wheat Thins” or “shredded wheat cereal rejects.” However, the combination of dill, sea salt, and olive oil compelled me to get over my Triscuit bias.

On the back of the Triscuit Dill Sea Salt & Olive Oil box, there are two suggested topping recipes, smoked salmon & dill and tangy greek. The box also says what wine would go well with these hors d’oeuvre. (Pinot Grigio, in case you were wondering.) Well, I recommend you avoid the topping and wine suggestions and just open the bag of Triscuit, stick your paw in the bag, pull out a handful of crackers, and stuff them into your mouth, because, just like women on a European beach, they’re quite wonderful topless.

Nabisco Dill Sea Salt & Olive Oil Triscuit Closeup

Each woven whole grain soft white winter wheat cracker has noticeable specks of dill, and after I ate a couple I started seeing the sea salt granules build up on my fingers. A wonderful sour dill flavor, which kind of reminded me of pickles, was all I could taste when I put this cracker in between my food mashers. However, after several chews, the dill dissipated and was replaced by the garlic and onion powder added to the cracker. Also, at this time, the sea salt was slightly noticeable. But I really wish the dill flavor hung around longer.

Overall, the Nabisco Dill Sea Salt & Olive Oil Triscuit crackers are a satisfying crunchy snack and I think they’ve helped me get over my Triscuit bias. They are dillightful and Lincredible.

(Nutrition Facts – 6 crackers – 120 calories, 35 calories from fat, 4 grams of fat, 0.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 2.5 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 1 gram of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 170 milligrams of sodium, 110 milligrams of potassium, 20 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 0 grams of sugar, and 3 grams of protein.)

Other Nabisco Dill Sea Salt & Olive Oil Triscuit reviews:
Junk Food Guy

Item: Nabisco Dill Sea Salt & Olive Oil Triscuit
Price: $3.00
Size: 9 ounces
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: Wonderful dill flavor. Crunchy. 22 grams of whole grain per serving. Reminds me of pickles. Decent source of fiber. Doesn’t need toppings. My ability to coin new words using “dill.”
Cons: Dill flavor needs to hang around longer. Putting smoked salmon on a Triscuit. My Triscuit bias. My ability to coin new words using “dill” since I’ll probably only use it for this review.

NEWS: Torani To Release a Chicken ‘N Waffles Syrup To Make Your Lattes Odd Tasting

IHOP Chicken & Waffles

Update: Torani got us good. Their Chicken ‘N Waffles syrup was an April Fool’s hoax. Yup, they got us real good. It should’ve been obvious since they were going to release it in April. Well, it’s fake, so no chicken ‘n waffles syrup for us.

Next month, Italian syrup maker Torani will make it possible for you to enjoy(?) cocktails, coffee, and sodas flavored with their new Chicken ‘n Waffles Syrup. Yes, a sweet and savory syrup that will partially have an artificial fried chicken flavor.

Torani’s Chicken ‘n Waffles Syrup follows their bacon-flavored syrup, which was used in Jack in the Box’s Bacon Shake earlier this year. I look forward to getting my hands on some of this syrup and making some chicken ‘n waffles milkshakes, chicken ‘n waffles margaritas, or chicken ‘n waffles cappuccinos…and then maybe regretting it.

Two tablespoons of the Torani Chicken N’ Waffles Syrup has 80 calories, 0 grams of fat, 110 milligrams of sodium, 20 grams of carbohydrates, 19 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Kraft MilkBite Milk & Granola Bars (Strawberry & Chocolate)

Kraft MilkBite Milk & Granola Bars (Strawberry & Chocolate)

Some snack foods should think more highly of themselves. I like these new MilkBite Milk & Granola Bars based solely on the brilliance of their TV ads, which feature Mel, the little existentialist MilkBite who is so meek and self-deprecating that you just have to love him. Mel’s main issue is that he struggles with his identity: Is he milk? Is he granola? Well, he’s both…. And he’s delicious.

Seriously, Mel shouldn’t have such low self-esteem because he’s got a lot going for him. He’s soft, cool to the touch, packed with calcium, and bursting with flavor. I can’t say the same for that unctuous, smirking Quaker Oats granola bar and that pompous cereal bar with the red “K” that thinks it’s so special. They’re losers. So chin up, Mel! Tons of people will eat you!

I never really considered before the potential self-esteem issues that healthy convenience foods might have, so kudos to Kraft for raising awareness surrounding this very serious issue. Maybe we’ll all think twice before giving a back-handed compliment to that piece of string cheese. (“Your tough, rubbery texture makes it so easy to peel you!”) Dairy has feelings too.

And speaking of dairy… since Kraft MilkBites contain real milk, they must be refrigerated, which is something I haven’t ever seen before. Try refrigerating any other type of granola bar, and you’ll probably end up cracking a tooth. MilkBites contain 30 percent of your daily value of calcium, five grams of protein, as well as some fiber, which is handy because I was getting tired of lugging around all those buckets of milk, eggs and steel cut oats everywhere like some kind of 18th century settler on the frontier. Innovation rules!

Kraft MilkBite Strawberry Milk & Granola Bar Wrapper

Kraft MilkBite Chocolate Milk & Granola Bar Wrapper

MilkBites come in five flavors: Strawberry, Chocolate, Oatmeal Raisin, Peanut Butter and Mixed Berry. I received samples of the Strawberry and Chocolate bars and found the texture of both to be similar -faintly creamy and chewy like very firm oatmeal. It’s not gooey or anything, but don’t expect much crunchiness from these bars. That’s not a diss, though Mel! You are soft, chewy, and toothsome.

Kraft MilkBite Milk & Granola Bars (Strawberry & Chocolate) Closeup

The Strawberry MilkBite was sweet and aromatic and loaded with tasty strawberry bits. Chocolate was rich and yummy with real chocolate chips embedded in the granola. Both Milk Bites were drizzled with icing, which is an ingredient with which you can never go wrong. Plus, since they had been stone cold chillin’ in the fridge, they were cool and delicious.

If you’re in the market for a snack bar that doubles as a daily injection of vitamins and minerals with an emphasis on calcium, but also taste really good, then check out Kraft MilkBite Milk & Granola bars. Just be careful what you say around them.

(Editor’s Note/Disclosure: MilkBite samples were provided by Kraft to be reviewed. They came via overnight delivery in a chilled package. I like penguins. Wait…what? I don’t have to disclose to the FTC the fact I like penguins. Well, now they know. Full disclosure.)

(Nutrition Facts – 1 bar (35g) – Strawberry – 140 calories, 50 fat calories, 5 grams of fat, 2.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 15 milligrams of cholesterol, 65 milligrams of sodium, 18 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 10 grams of sugar, 5 grams of protein, 30% Calcium, 6% Iron, 10% Vitamin D, 6% Vitamin C, 2% Vitamin A. Chocolate – 140 calories, 50 fat calories, 6 grams of fat, 3 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 10 milligrams of cholesterol, 75 milligrams of sodium, 18 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 10 grams of sugar, 5 grams of protein, 30% Calcium, 6% Iron, 10% Vitamin D, 0% Vitamin C, 2% Vitamin A.)

Item: Kraft MilkBite Milk & Granola Bars (Strawberry and Chocolate)
Price: FREE (retails for $3.49)
Size: 5 bars (1.23 ounces)
Purchased at: Received from wonderful PR folks
Rating: 8 out of 10 (Strawberry)
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Chocolate)
Pros: Charmingly self-deprecating snack bars. Contains 30% of your daily value of calcium. Sweet, rich flavor. Drizzled with icing.
Cons: Back-handed compliments. Cracked teeth. Overly sensitive string cheese. Hauling oats around like I’m on The Ponderosa.

NEWS: Did You Know There’s Limited Edition Mayonnaise?

Hellman's mayonnaise

I remember when limited edition products were limited to just candy, soda, Pringles, and breakfast cereal. Now, there isn’t a limit to what kinds of products can be slapped with the limited edition label. There’s limited edition disinfectant wipes, limited edition ketchup, and limited edition mayonnaise.

Hellmann’s Mayonnaise is teaming up with Frank’s RedHot to create the Limited Edition Hellmann’s Spicy Buffalo with Frank’s RedHot Mayonnaise. To my surprise, this isn’t the first limited edition mayo from Hellmann’s. Last year, they introduced their Limited Edition Mediterranean Roasted Garlic & Herb Mayonnaise.

I don’t know about you, but I can imagine the possibilities with this spicy Buffalo-flavored mayo: turkey sandwiches that taste like Buffalo wings, potato salad that tastes like Buffalo wings, egg salad that tastes like Buffalo wings, and hair conditioner that tastes like Buffalo wings.

The Limited Edition Hellmann’s Spicy Buffalo with Frank’s RedHot Mayonnaise will come in reduced fat and full fat versions, and is only available in 9-ounce squeeze bottles.

Source: Unilever Website

Image via flickr user jamesks / CC BY SA 2.0

REVIEW: Pepsi Next

Pepsi Next

Update: Pepsi recently reformulated Pepsi Next to not include aspartame. This review is about the original version with aspartame.

Pepsi Next contains a veritable who’s who of sweeteners. The latest addition to the Pepsi line includes the high fructose corn syrup in regular Pepsi, the aspartame in Diet Pepsi, the sucralose in Pepsi One, and the acesulfame potassium in Pepsi Max.

So if you’re someone who yells, “High fructose corn syrup is evil!” or “Aspertame is the Devil!” or “Sucralose will destroy mankind!” or “What the hell is acesulfame potassium?”, Pepsi Next is not for you.

The combining of these sweeteners into Pepsi Next makes it sound as if Dr. Frankenstein had a part in developing it by collecting ingredients from other Pepsi varieties to bring to life a new one.

Or, maybe, he tried to bring back from the dead a discontinued Pepsi, like Crystal Pepsi, Holiday Spice Pepsi, or Pepsi Blue.

(Sidenote: Dear Pepsi: Please bring back Crystal Pepsi, Holiday Spice Pepsi, and Pepsi Blue, even if it’s for a limited time. I would totally play 7 Minutes in Heaven with current PepsiCo CEO Indra Nooyi to make this happen. Heck, I would also play 7 Minutes in Heaven with her predecessor, Steven Reinemund to bring them back.)

So what happens when Pepsi combines four popular sweeteners in the processed food world into one beverage? According to Pepsi, we get a beverage with real cola taste and 60 percent less sugar than regular Pepsi. But could I see myself replacing my beloved Pepsi Max for Pepsi Next? Also, if it’s discontinued, would I be willing to play 7 Minutes in Heaven with whomever the PepsiCo CEO is a decade from now?

Although it contains three artificial sweeteners and has 60 percent fewer calories than regular Pepsi, it’s really hard to taste anything “diet” about Pepsi Next. But it’s not quite like regular Pepsi; it’s less syrupy and smoother. There are also differences in flavor between Pepsi Next and original Pepsi. I thought Pepsi Next had a slightly stronger cola flavor and, for some reason, my taste buds perceived a hint of lemon, which made me think my taste buds were broken, but a second opinion agreed with me.

Maybe it was my tongue hoping Pepsi brings back Pepsi Twist.

(Sidenote: Dear Pepsi: I don’t really miss Pepsi Twist, so I would not be willing to play 7 Minutes in Heaven with any PepsiCo executive to bring it back.)

Pepsi Chart

Overall, Pepsi Next is quite good. However, I don’t think it’ll replace my beloved Pepsi Max because my go-to soda has no sugar, more caffeine, and I prefer its flavor. I also don’t see it taking the place of Diet Pepsi as my backup go-to soda. Pepsi Next is slightly better tasting, but my taste buds have long gotten used to the flavor of Diet Pepsi, so I’m willing to sacrifice taste to drink something with no calories and sugar. I think many Diet Pepsi drinkers will probably feel the same.

So who is Pepsi Next for?

I think Pepsi Next mainly appeals to are those who want to cut back or stop drinking regular Pepsi because their doctors advised them to or they’re losing their hearing from all people yelling at them, “High fructose corn syrup is evil!” So if you’re one of those people, Pepsi Next could be the Nicorette Gum of Pepsi colas.

(Sidenote: Dear Pepsi: Pepsi Next is good, but if it’s discontinued, I won’t miss it. So the CEO of PepsiCo ten years from now is safe from the possibility of being subjected to seven awkward minutes with me in a closet.)

(Disclaimer: I received a free six-pack of Pepsi Next from the nice PR firm that represents Pepsi. It also came with a card that said I was one of the first 100 people in America to taste Pepsi Next, but I’m not sure that’s accurate since they’ve been testing it in limited locations over the past year or so.)

(Nutrition Facts – 1 can/12 ounces – 60 calories, 0 grams of fat, 60 milligrams of sodium, 16 grams of carbohydrates, 15 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of protein.)

Other Pepsi Next reviews:
Phoood
Grub Grade
Fast Food Geek

Item: Pepsi Next
Price: FREE
Size: 12 ounces
Purchased at: Received from nice PR folks
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Quite good. 60 percent less sugar and calories. Smoother than other Pepsi varieties. Tastes more like regular Pepsi than Diet Pepsi. Playing 7 Minutes in Heaven to bring back discontinued Pepsi flavors. Pepsi Max. If you love consuming a bunch of artificial sweeteners at one time, you’ll love this.
Cons: Spending seven awkward minutes with me in a closet. If you hate sweeteners other than pure cane sugar, you won’t like it. Not really interested in bringing back Pepsi Twist.

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