REVIEW: Häagen-Dazs Limited Edition Blueberry Crumble

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Haagen Dazs Limited Edition Blueberry Crumble

This past holiday weekend, I had the pleasure of visiting the mile-high city of Denver. I saw the Rocky Mountains, miles and miles of rolling amber prairie, and the giant Zombie Demon Horse at the airport.

Oh, you’ve never heard of this nightmarish equine fiend from Hell?

It’s a thing of rare, unmitigated monstrousness with its jagged, shiny metal form, gaping mouth, wildly probing tongue, and glowing red eyes. It fuels dark visions of the end times and makes one wonder whether the city of Denver is the ideal location for a zombie demon invasion, what with the mountains providing protection from the hordes of undead monsters and all. It also invites speculation as to whether the airport’s Zombie Demon Horse, itself, would be the thing that allows these foul creatures to enter our dimension. Would this 32-foot statue be the glowing, neon sign that declares “Denver is Open for Zombie Demon Business?” I only mention this Zombie Demon Horse because it has exactly one thing in common with the new Häagen-Dazs Limited Edition Blueberry Crumble ice cream: It’s blue.

Haagen Dazs Limited Edition Blueberry Crumble Open Carton

Much like being subjected to night-terror-inducing public works of art, it isn’t often that we encounter naturally-occurring blue food. I can count all the blue foods I’ve eaten on one hand: blue potatoes, blue corn chips, bleu cheese (it’s the mold that’s blue), and, of course, blueberries. There is no shortage of blueberries in Häagen-Dazs Limited Edition Blueberry Crumble, which gives it a nice, violet color. It’s smooth and isn’t clumpy, which certain types of fruity ice cream seem to be.

With my first bite, I was wowed by the Blueberry Crumble’s flavorful combination of real blueberries and fresh cream. The packaging boasts of ripe, simmered blueberries, and frankly, I think they’ve hit a home run with the recipe. Nothing about it tastes artificial – this is made from real fruit. A quick scan of the ingredients lists confirms a refreshing lack of chemical additives and preservatives.

Haagen Dazs Limited Edition Blueberry Crumble Scoops

The texture of the ice cream is smooth and dense, and the crushed blueberries are evenly mixed throughout. However, the “cobbler crust crumbles” – tiny pieces of buttery cobbler that have been folded into the ice cream — are not as plentiful as we are led to believe. Every third bite may include some of the crumble, but overall, it’s mostly blueberry-flavored ice cream. Not what I expected, since the label strongly suggests that you’ll be digging into something that would be at least 50 percent crumbly. The tiny bits of cobbler taste yummy and are an interesting addition, but the pieces aren’t large enough and don’t add much to the experience. The Limited Edition Blueberry Crumble is tasty, but I wish it was bursting with cobbler crumbles.

The Häagen-Dazs Limited Edition Blueberry Crumble may be just the thing to have in the mountains while we’re taking shelter from the zombie demon apocalypse. It’s pretty cold up there, so we can leave the ice cream just about anywhere. In fact, it may be the only thing we’ll have to eat for months, since the power grid will go down within three hours of the Zombie Demon Horse’s clarion call to arms for the denizens of the Underworld. I suggest you start stocking up on Blueberry Crumble now and head for the hills.

(Nutrition Facts- ½ cup (102 grams) –250 calories, 140 calories from fat, 15 grams of fat, 9 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 65 milligrams of cholesterol, 60 milligrams of sodium, 24 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of dietary fiber, 21 grams of sugar, 4 grams of protein, 0% vitamin A, 8% calcium, 0% vitamin C and 0% iron.)

Item: Häagen-Dazs Limited Edition Blueberry Crumble
Price: $3.99
Size: 14 ounces
Purchased at: Vons
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Made from real blueberries and fresh cream. Blue foods are rare. Smooth and dense texture. Violet. The majestic beauty of the Rocky Mountains. Yummy buttery crust crumbles. Delicious, ice-cream-based survival.
Cons: Zombie Demon Horses. Misleading label. Terrifying works of public art. Cobbler crust crumbles are small and don’t add much to the experience. Wildly probing tongues. Gateway airports to the Underworld.

NEWS: More Fluffing Ben & Jerry’s Flavors For Your Fluffing Piehole, You Fluffers

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Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream Step Van

Update: Click here to read our Ben & Jerry’s Red Velvet Cake and Clusterfluff review

Update 2: Click here to read our Ben & Jerry’s Late Night Snack review

I surf review websites as often as some folks surf porn websites, so I noticed this morning, friend of The Impulsive Buy, Roddy at Rodzilla Reviews posted a review of the new Ben & Jerry’s Red Velvet Cake ice cream. I was surprised by this new product because I also surf food company websites as often as I…I mean some people surf porn websites, and I didn’t see anything on the Ben & Jerry’s website.

Roddy also captured a picture that shows two other new Ben & Jerry’s flavors, along with the Red Velvet Cake: Clusterfluff and Late Night Snack. Here are what the three new flavors are made of:

Red Velvet Cake – red velvet cake batter ice cream with red velvet cake pieces and a cream cheese frost swirl

Clusterfluff – peanut butter ice cream with caramel cluster pieces, peanut butter and marshmallow swirls

Late Night Snack – vanilla bean ice cream with a salty caramel swirl and fudge covered potato chip clusters

The Late Night Snack flavor is the latest Ben & Jerry’s flavor to honor a celebrity — Late Night host Jimmy Fallon. He follows other famous people who have their own Ben & Jerry’s flavors, like Willie Nelson and Stephen Colbert.

Image via flickr user Ezra.Wolfe / CC BY SA 2.0

NEWS: Jalapeno Jack SunChips To Brighten Your Day With A Flash of Spice and a Burst of Cheese…Ugh, I’ve Read Way Too Many Press Releases

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Big Sur - Into The Sun HDR

Hey, are you one of those people who buy SunChips because they’re a slightly healthier alternative to greasy potato chips or because you feel your Subway sandwich is lonely? If you are, I’ve got exciting news for you and your lonely Subway sandwich. Frito-Lay recently introduced their new Jalapeno Jack SunChips, which combines jalapeno spices and Monterey Jack cheese.

Just like other SunChips flavors, the Jalapeno Jack has 18 grams of whole grains per serving and is made with all-natural ingredients. Yeah, take that, greasy potato chips that I’m craving right now. Also, Jalapeno Jack SunChips don’t contain MSG, preservatives, and artificial flavors. And they will come in an un-compostable bag that will keep quiet as you eat through it and your Subway sandwich.

About 15 chips will provide 140 calories, 6 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 1.5 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 3.5 grams of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 135 milligrams of sodium, 19 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 2 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Wendy’s Spicy Bacon & Blue Chicken Sandwich

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Wendy's Spicy Bacon & Blue Chicken Sandwich

There is no mention of the Bacon & Blue anywhere on the Wendy’s website, Twitter feed, or Facebook fan page. I had to go back to my local Wendy’s the morning after eating this sandwich just to make sure I hadn’t dreamt up the whole thing. I even considered going back the next morning, too, in case I had made up the sandwich in a dream within a dream like my life was some kind of fatass version of Inception, but I decided against it because I didn’t want my ex-wife showing up and stabbing Juno and this review not making any goddamn sense at all after a while.

Don’t worry though, your buddy who took a philosophy course freshman year will gladly explain how you just don’t get it and that this review is, like, totally brilliant.

Anyway, I guess Wendy’s is test-marketing the Bacon & Blue Chicken Sandwich in the Boston area, and I couldn’t be more delighted.

Wendy's Spicy Bacon & Blue Chicken Sandwich Sign

The recipe is simple enough. They’ve added Applewood smoked bacon, crumbled blue cheese, and a slice of Swiss to the original Spicy Chicken Sandwich, which was already my favorite non-Chik-fil-A fast food chicken sandwich. For those of you who’ve never had it, the SCS contains a heavily-breaded, moderately-spiced chicken filet on a Kaiser roll with lettuce, tomato, and mayo. According to Wikipedia, the SCS itself started out as a promotional sandwich but was brought back full-time by popular demand, which I can only hope will be the fate of the Bacon & Blue.

As you can see from the picture, the bacon is pretty impressive-looking, with enough heft and crispiness to distort the angle of what should otherwise be a flat top bun. It was impressive-tasting as well, especially compared to what I’ve generally come to expect from fast food places (inclusive of Wendy’s… I can’t remember the last time I had a good Jr. Bacon Cheeseburger). The bacon was an excellent addition in terms of both texture and taste, as it struck a great balance between chewy and crunchy and contributed a noticeable sweetness to the sandwich.

Wendy's Spicy Bacon & Blue Chicken Sandwich Bleu Cheese

The blue cheese was surprisingly plentiful and not all that poorly distributed. Its tanginess played really well with the spices of the chicken filet, and there wasn’t a single bite that was overwhelmingly rich. My one small complaint would be that I wish the blue cheese had been better melted by the heat of the chicken, but I suppose it’s partially my own fault for taking my to-go bag and immediately stepping out into 10 degree weather for the four-block walk home. Or more macroscopically, it’s my own fault for living in the gray winter nightmare that is New England. But then again if I didn’t live here I wouldn’t have been able to try this sandwich and write this review. WHOA, did I just blow your mind, CHRISTOPHER NOLAN-STYLE? I can’t tell if this joke is working or not, so maybe WE JUST NEED TO GO DEEPER…into discussing the rest of the sandwich.

The chicken filet was sufficiently flavorful and juicy, and the roll, lettuce, and tomatoes all seemed reasonably fresh. On the downside, there was slightly too much mayo, and the slice of Swiss cheese was so useless that I had actually forgotten its presence prior to re-examining my photos of the sandwich. I also need to bring up the price. I have no idea how expensive blue cheese is, but $5.99 for a fast food sandwich feels a bit pricey. You could get 30 Wendy’s chicken nuggets for that money!

Still, if Wendy’s decides to roll out the Bacon & Blue Chicken Sandwich nationwide, you should absolutely try it. As for me, I’ll be returning to Wendy’s once more this week. If it turns out the test-marketing is still happening and I’m not in fatass Inception, I will definitely be getting this sandwich again.

(Nutrition Facts – Not available.)

Item: Wendy’s Spicy Bacon & Blue Chicken Sandwich
Price: $5.99 sandwich, $7.29 small combo
Size: N/A
Purchased at: Wendy’s
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: Bacon was chewy, crispy, and hefty. Blue cheese was plentiful and tasty. Filet was sufficiently flavorful and juicy. Wendy’s chicken nuggets. Christopher Nolan not getting a “Best Director” nod at the Oscars.
Cons: Pretty expensive for a fast food sandwich. Swiss cheese was useless. Too much mayo. Blue cheese not really melted. New England winters. No Chik-fil-A in Boston. Your buddy who took a freshman year philosophy course. Living in the fatass version of Inception. My apparent vendetta against Christopher Nolan when I actually liked Inception.

NEWS: MiO Turns Boring, Flavorless Clear Water Into Slightly Less Boring, Flavored Colored Water

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Turning water into something other than water hasn’t only been done by Jesus, it’s been done by Crystal Light, Gatorade, Kool-Aid, and Tang. The problem with these mixes is that they come in powder form, which means I’m either going to have to deal with tearing off the tops of little packets or possibly choke on a cloud of fruity powder that rises out of a container of Kool-Aid I accidentally dropped and then opened before everything inside could settle.

But, soon, we’ll have another choice to turn plain old water into flavored plain old water with Kraft’s MiO. Unlike the previous mixes I mentioned, MiO isn’t a powder mix, it’s a liquid water enhancer. Or a liquid flavor concentrate, if you will.

All it takes is few droplets from MiO’s pocket-friendly water droplet-shaped container to turn Mother Nature’s tears into flavored Mother Nature’s tears. Or if you’re like me with a bottle of chocolate syrup and a glass of milk, you can put as much of it as you want in your water. MiO has zero calories and no artificial flavor, but it does contain artificial colors, artificial sweeteners, and preservatives.

MiO will launch nationwide on March 7 and come in six flavors: berry pomegranate, fruit punch, mango peach, peach tea, sweet tea, and strawberry watermelon. It will retail for $3.99 and one bottle can make 24 8-ounce servings.

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