REVIEW: Ben & Jerry’s Snickerdoodle Cookie

Ben & Jerry's Snickerdoodle Cookie

Full title: “Ben & Jerry’s Limited Batch Snickerdoodle Cookie Buttery Cinnamon Ice Cream Loaded with Snickerdoodle Cookies.” Limited Batch! Buttery Cinnamon! Cookies! I haven’t had Ben & Jerry’s ice cream in years, but when I saw this limited edition flavor I knew I’d have to give it a go.

I’ll be honest with you, I had to consult Wikipedia in order to remember exactly what a snickerdoodle cookie is. I knew I’d had them before, specifically around Christmastime, but my family Christmases were so chock full of cookies, candy and everything sugar that I wasn’t sure if I was thinking of the flavor of snickerdoodles, my grandpa’s pfeffernüsse, or those weird white cookies my cousin baked every year that nobody ever ate.

For anyone who might have a memory as poor as mine, snickerdoodles are basically cinnamon-sugar cookies, which explains their inclusion in this cinnamon-infused ice cream. This is the perfect time to introduce this ice cream flavor, what with Christmas sneaking up on us like a mugger in a dark side alley, ready to demand all our money in the form of Clappers and Chia Pets shaped like Garfield’s head.

As the inevitability of crowded malls, sold-out “must have” toys and dysfunctional family gatherings washes over you, maybe you should comfort yourself with a pint of Snickerdoodle Cookie ice cream. To me, cinnamon equals chilly nights, cozy blankets and hot cocoa, all the good things that come along to keep me sane during the oft-stressful holiday season. Let’s try out this ice cream and see if it’s going to give me warm fuzzies or curse Ben & Jerry’s for ruining one of the few things about the holiday season that keeps me from hanging myself from the ceiling fan with a length of tangled Christmas lights. I’m already glaring at it for making me talk about Christmas in November. That shit is verboten in my house.

Fun fact: turns out I don’t own an ice cream scoop.

It’s hard enough to play food photographer and try to make nice, big, inviting mounds of ice cream with a scoop; without one, fuggedaboudit. During my search, however, I did find a scoop-like device in the utensils drawer, a.k.a. the Murder Drawer of Sharp, Unsheathed Knives. I think it used to belong to an espresso machine, but it looks more like a melon baller. Either way, it became an impromptu ice cream scooper. I am MacGyver.

As you can see, there’s plenty of snickerdoodle cookie in Snickerdoodle Cookie. Instead of chunks of cookie, I’d describe them as clusters of crumbles. Delicious crumbles! The ice cream is, as described, buttery, and by that I mean rich and creamy, not “containing properties resembling butter.” That would be gross. Somewhere, someone at Jones Soda just decided to make a Butter Ice Cream flavored soda. I take full responsibility for this.

Both the cinnamon in the ice cream and in the cookie crumbles are perfectly portioned. Too much cinnamon and I would have felt like I was eating a softer version of one of those cinnamon-scented grocery store pine cones that always make me sneeze; too little and it would have just been a creamy vanilla ice cream with sugar cookies. But Snickerdoodle Cookie strikes just the right balance, resulting in me eating the entire bowl and wishing it was a month from now and about 50 degrees cooler outside. Time travel doesn’t exist (yet) and it will never be 20 degrees where I live, so I’m shaking my fist at Ben & Jerry’s while at the same time contemplating eating another bowl.

Snickerdoodle Cookie ice cream nails the flavor of the cookie while also delivering a rich and creamy cinnamon ice cream that is the perfect compliment to the cookie crumbles. Ben & Jerry’s is wise for making this a “Limited Batch,” because while it’s a great flavor for the holiday season, the richness of it wouldn’t make for a very refreshing summertime frozen treat. There’s something about the cold winter season that makes rich foods comforting instead of overwhelming, and this is the case with Snickerdoodle Cookie. I’d suggest waiting until Christmas window displays make you happy instead of angry, curling up under a soft blanket, and eating this ice cream while you watch A Charlie Brown Christmas.

A healthy pour of bourbon to help keep you warm wouldn’t hurt, either.

(Nutrition Facts – ½ cup — 230 calories, 120 calories from fat, 13 grams of total fat, 8 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 65 milligrams of cholesterol, 105 milligrams of sodium, , 26 grams of total carbohydrates, 0 grams of dietary fiber, 20 grams of sugars, 4 grams of protein, 10% vitamin A, 10% calcium, 0% vitamin C and 0% iron.)

Other Ben & Jerry’s Snickerdoodle Cookie reviews:
On Second Scoop

Item: Ben & Jerry’s Snickerdoodle Cookie
Price: $3.50 (on sale; normally $4.79)
Size: 1 pint
Purchased at: Albertson’s
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: Ice cream rich and buttery. The word pfeffernüsse. Cinnamon was well-balanced. MacGuyver. Cookie crumbles were yummy. Bourbon.
Cons: Ice cream may be too rich for some. Early Christmas decorations. 230 calories per serving helping to pack on the holiday pounds. Butter Ice Cream flavored soda.

REVIEW: Ben & Jerry’s Target Exclusive Flavors (Berry Voluntary & Brownie Chew Gooder)

Target’s exclusive Ben & Jerry’s flavors — Berry Voluntary and Brownie Chew Gooder — are supposed to promote volunteerism. But the only things Ben & Jerry’s ice cream has encouraged me to do are: buy more of it, exercise so that I don’t get fat from eating it and not let the dishes pile up in the sink so that I will always have a clean spoon handy to eat their ice cream.

Now I don’t have time to volunteer because my Hulu and Netflix Instant Watch queues are extremely long. Seriously, this season of ABC’s Wipeout isn’t going to watch itself. It’s also going to take time away from the 12 hours a day I spend in front of a computer, writing reviews and watching cat videos on YouTube. However, because I was on my computer while eating both of these flavors, I visited the volunteering website printed on each of the one pint tubs: VolunteerMatch.org.

When I searched for volunteer opportunities on my rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, I mostly found posts about hosting exchange students from other countries, which I am even less inclined to do because that means I would not only have to give up time, but also space. And I have no space to give because my rental agreement says I can’t have the following things in my apartment that start with the letter P: pets, plants and phoreign exchange students.

I guess I just don’t have the heart for volunteering. Or maybe the saturated fat in all the Ben & Jerry’s ice cream I eat is clogging my heart, which is preventing me from volunteering.

Now I feel bad about it. But do you know what makes me feel better?

Ice cream.

But the only ice cream I have are the Berry Voluntary and Brownie Chew Gooder, and if I eat them I’ll feel good for a little while, but then feel bad because they remind me that I’m not volunteering. It’s a vicious cycle of yum and guilt.

Of course, to get rid of the guilt, I could just sign up to volunteer for something, like help clean a beach or work at a soup kitchen. Or I could blame Target and Ben & Jerry’s for not giving a portion of the profits from each ice cream sold to a worthy cause, which would allow me to make a difference by eating their ice cream in front of my computer in only my boxer briefs.

If that were the case, it would encourage me to buy more of both flavors. But just promoting volunteerism doesn’t cut it because I think both flavors are two of the least exciting Ben & Jerry’s flavors I’ve tasted.

Berry Voluntary consists of raspberry cheesecake ice cream with white chocolatey chunks and raspberry swirls. There’s definitely a tart cheesecake flavor to it, but at times I swear it tastes like a milder version of Ben & Jerry’s Cherry Garcia. The white chocolatey chunks don’t do much to enhance the ice cream’s flavor. All they seem to do is get in the way of my spoon, like big rocks do when serial killers bury bodies in their backyard. It’s a good flavor, but not good enough to encourage me to buy it again, if I have the option of choosing between it and Cherry Garcia.

As for Brownie Chew Gooder, it’s made up of vanilla caramel ice cream with fudge brownies and a caramel swirl. It’s also good, but not one of Ben & Jerry’s best. Some of the brownie pieces in the ice cream were frickin’ big one inch squares, and they were chewy, but not the good kind of chewy you’d expect in an ice cream. They’re a little grainy and tough to bite through. The caramel ice cream and caramel swirls make the whole thing taste a little cloying. With all of that caramel, perhaps Brownie Chew Gooder should be renamed to Goody Too Much Caramel.

Get it? Goody Two Shoes…Goody Too Much Caramel.

Oh my goodness, I’ve had too much sugar.

(Nutrition Facts – 1/2 cup – Berry Voluntary – 250 calories, 12 grams of fat, 8 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 55 milligrams of cholesterol, 55 milligrams of sodium, 31 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 27 grams of sugar, 4 grams of protein, 10% vitamin A, 10% calcium and 6% vitamin C. Brownie Chew Gooder – 250 calories, 11 grams of fat, 6 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 55 milligrams of cholesterol, 100 milligrams of sodium, 33 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 24 grams of sugar, 4 grams of protein, 10% vitamin A, 10% calcium and 4% iron.)

Here’s other Berry Voluntary and Brownie Chew Gooder reviews:
On Second Scoop (Brownie Chew Gooder)
On Second Scoop (Berry Voluntary)
Gigi Reviews (Berry Voluntary)
Serious Eats
Rodzilla Reviews

Item: Ben & Jerry’s Target Exclusive Flavors (Berry Voluntary & Brownie Chew Gooder)
Price: $4.14 each
Size: One pint
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 6 out of 10 (Berry Voluntary)
Rating: 6 out of 10 (Brownie Chew Gooder)
Pros: Both are good, but not Ben & Jerry’s best. Berry Voluntary at times tastes like Cherry Garcia, but also has a nice, slightly tart cheesecake flavor. Brownie pieces in Brownie Chew Gooder are frickin’ big. Hulu and Netflix Instant Watch. Ben & Jerry’s ice cream encouraging me to exercise and wash dishes.
Cons: Two of the least exciting Ben & Jerry flavors I’ve tasted. Brownie Chew Gooder can be a little cloying due to caramel ice cream and caramel swirls. Brownie chunks in the Brownie Chew Gooder were a little tough. White chocolatey chunks in Berry Voluntary did little to enhance flavor. My ability to come up with Ben & Jerry flavor names. My unwillingness to volunteer.

REVIEW: Ben & Jerry’s Hannah Teter’s Maple Blondie

Ben & Jerry's Hannah Teter's Maple Blondie

I don’t think I’ve ever met a flavor of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream that I didn’t like, even their new Limited Batch Hannah Teter’s Maple Blondie. I don’t know if I like them all because I’m high or because they’re high. If I were high, I’d think anything tastes awesome. But I think it’s them who are high, because I don’t get high and I believe the only way anyone could create the flavors they come up with is if they’re under the influence of a little marijuana, or as they probably call it in Vermont, where Ben & Jerry’s headquarters is located, Burlington Buzz.

If this is the case, I imagine the conversation that eventually led to the creation of Maple Blondie went something like this:

(NOTE: The following conversation would be a lot better if you imagine Cheech and Chong having it.)

Ben & Jerry’s Worker #1: Hey man, I wanna make an ice cream for Olympic gold medalist Hannah Teter.

Ben & Jerry’s Worker #2: What? You want to make a bong out of a heater?

Ben & Jerry’s Worker #1: No man, an ice cream for Hannah Teter. She’s from Vermont, man.

Ben & Jerry’s Worker #2: Oh yeah, man. That would be awesome. What should we put in it?

Ben & Jerry’s Worker #1: I don’t know. Let me think about it while I smoke a bowl.

Ben & Jerry’s Worker #2: Aw man. I’m gonna do the same thing.

Five minutes later

Ben & Jerry’s Worker #1: Hey man, what are we doing?

Ben & Jerry’s Worker #2: I forgot. Naw, naw, man. I remember. We wanted to make a flavor for Hannah Teter.

Ben & Jerry’s Worker #1: Aw yeah man. That’s right.

Ben & Jerry’s Worker #2: She’s from Vermont, so we should put in things that Vermont is known for.

Ben & Jerry’s Worker #1: So what is Vermont known for?

Ben & Jerry’s Worker #2: Burlington Buzz?

Ben & Jerry’s Worker #1: Naw man, we can’t put Burlington Buzz in an ice cream. Burlington Buzz only goes great with brownies.

Ben & Jerry’s Worker #2: Oh man, we should put brownies in the ice cream.

Ben & Jerry’s Worker #1: Oh, that’s sweet, man. But we still need to add an ingredient Vermont is known for.

Ben & Jerry’s Worker #2: Burlington Buzz?

Ben & Jerry’s Worker #1: Naw man, we can’t do that. I need to think about this. Pass me that bong we made from that Vermont maple syrup bottle.

Ben & Jerry’s Worker #2: Aw man, remember we broke it when we were partying with Phish. But I have another bottle. All we have to do is get rid of the maple syrup in it.

Ben & Jerry’s Worker #1: Man, we should use that maple syrup in an ice cream. Maple ice cream would be good. What should we mix with the maple ice cream?

Ben & Jerry’s Worker #2: Burlington Buzz?

Ben & Jerry’s Hannah Teter’s Maple Blondie consists of maple ice cream with blonde brownie chunks and a maple caramel swirl. The maple ice cream by itself has a mild flavor, but when eaten with the maple caramel swirl, it reminds me of a Werther’s Original butterscotch candy. The blonde brownie chunks, which I wish there were more of in the pint, have a brown sugar flavor to them. They also add a chewy and very slightly gritty texture to the ice cream.

Overall, the Ben & Jerry’s Hannah Teter’s Maple Blondie is a very good ice cream that’s a great representation of Vermont — from the sweetness of the maple syrup to how cold it can get in the area. It’s an ice cream that Burlington Buzz smokers will love.

(Nutrition Facts – 1/2 cup – 240 calories, 11 grams of fat, 6 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 65 milligrams of cholesterol, 90 milligrams of sodium, 32 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 25 grams of sugar, 4 grams of protein, 10% vitamin A and 10% calcium.)

Other Ben & Jerry’s Hannah Teter’s Maple Blondie reviews:
On Second Scoop
Hamburger Calculus

Item: Ben & Jerry’s Hannah Teter’s Maple Blondie
Price: $3.99
Size: One Pint
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Very good. Maple ice cream with the maple caramel swirl tastes like a Werther’s Original. Brownie chunks provide a nice chewiness. Made from cows that aren’t treated with rBGH. Proceeds go to help Teter’s charity, which helps a village in Africa. Making a bong out of a maple syrup bottle.
Cons: Not enough brownie chunks. Maple ice cream itself has a mild flavor. Might be too sweet for some. Forgetting what you’re trying to accomplish.

REVIEW: Ben & Jerry’s Goodbye Yellow Brickle Road

Ben & Jerry's Limited Batch Goodbye Yellow Brickle Road

Ben & Jerry’s latest creation, Goodbye Yellow Brickle Road, honors Sir Elton John’s first-ever Vermont appearance in 2008. If Elton John wanted to honor the ice cream that honors him in lyrical form, I believe it might go something like this:

Goodbye skinny jeans
Though I never really used you at all
You had the strength to hold yourself
While my gut pushed out like a wall
It oozed out from over the top
and it looked like you were baking bread.
I really need to run on a treadmill
Because I have 20 pounds I need to shed.

And it seems to me you lived your life
Like plastic bag in the wind
Never knowing what to cling to
When my fat ass came in
And I would have liked to have used you
But I was just too big
Your stitches tore out long before
Your buttons ever did.

Now if Ben & Jerry wanted to honor themselves for honoring Elton John for honoring the Ben & Jerry’s ice cream that honors Elton John in song form, I believe it would go like this:

Hey kids, mixing ingredients together
The freezer freezing something
that’s been known to change the weather.
We’ll milk the fatted calf tonight
so stick around.
You’re gonna taste creamy goodness
that will make you round.

Say, Cherry and Garcia, have you seen them with dairy.
Ooh, but they’re so spaced out, B-b-b-bennie and the Jerry’s.
Oh, but they’re weird and they’re wonderful.
Oh Bennie, he’s really all right.
He’s got plastic spoons, hippie tunes.
You know I read it on their website. Oh ho.
B-b-b-bennie and the Jerry’s

Now if I wanted to honor Ben & Jerry for their limited edition Goodbye Yellow Brickle Road ice cream that honors Elton John, I would say that it’s a pretty good ice cream that would make Sir Elton John happy, or gay, if you will. And why wouldn’t it? Because it consists of a hodgepodge of ingredients that would make most people giddy. It has chocolate ice cream, peanut butter cookie dough, brickle candy pieces and white chocolatey chunks.

The chocolate ice cream had the typical Ben & Jerry’s creaminess to it; the peanut butter cookie dough added a slight nuttiness; the brickle gave it a nice crunch and caramel flavor; and the white chocolatey chunks added…um…actually, I didn’t think they added anything, but they were big chunks and there were lots of them. Each spoonful had at least one of the added ingredients.

Of course, like most premium ice creams, the Goodbye Yellow Brickle Road is extremely high in saturated fat, providing 50% of your daily recommended intake of saturated fat in a half cup serving. But I ate an entire pint within a week and…

Don’t you know I’m still standing better than I ever did.
Eating an entire pint of ice cream, eating it like a little kid.
I’m still standing after all the grinds.
Picking up my body even with all the fat you caused on my hind.

I’m still standing. Yeah yeah yeah.
I’m still standing. Yeah yeah yeah.

(Nutrition Facts – 1/2 cup – 280 calories, 15 grams of fat, 10 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 35 milligrams of cholesterol, 95 milligrams of sodium, 34 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of dietary fiber, 26 grams of sugar, 4 grams of protein, 10% vitamin A, 10% calcium and 8% iron.)

(Note: If you don’t know which Elton John songs I referenced in this review, the first one was “Candle in the Wind,” followed by “Bennie and the Jets,” and ending with “I’m Still Standing.” On Second Scoop also reviewed it, but didn’t like it as much and didn’t reference any Elton John songs.)

Item: Ben & Jerry’s Goodbye Yellow Brickle Road
Price: $5.39
Size: One pint
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Pretty good. Chocolate ice cream was creamy. Peanut butter cookie dough added a slight nuttiness. Brickle add crunch and caramel flavor. Each spoonful had at least one of the added ingredients. Big white chocolate chunks. Elton John.
Cons: Big white chocolate chucks were bland. High in saturated fat. Limited batch. Eating an entire pint in a day. Butchering Elton John songs to match the theme of this review.

REVIEW: Ben & Jerry’s Chocolate Macadamia Ice Cream

Here on these rocks in the middle of the Pacific Ocean we’re known for a lot of things, like warm weather throughout the year, beautiful beaches, pineapples, tourists, Kona coffee, meth addicts, hot female prostitutes who are actually men and marijuana. But were you aware that we’re also known for macadamia nuts?

If you’re not familiar with macadamia nuts, they were named after Australian chemist Dr. John Macadam by his colleague Ferdinand von Mueller, who probably wanted to throw his friend a bone since Mueller had several places in Australia and New Zealand named after him, which includes the Mueller Ranges, Mount Mueller, Mount von Mueller, Mueller’s Peak, the Mueller River, Mueller’s Creek, Lake Mueller, Mueller Glacier and Mueller Park. Macadamia nuts are special because they have the highest amount of beneficial monounsaturated fats among all known nuts, they have a decent amount of protein and carbohydrates and they’ve been called exotic nuts, like they’re Taiwanese tranny hookers.

If you ever visit Hawaii, macadamia nuts are the perfect gift to give to your friends and coworkers to tactfully brag about the fact that you vacationed in Hawaii and enjoyed 80 plus degree weather while they suffered through snow and near freezing conditions. Consider it the non-verbal equivalent of saying “Suck on deez nuts, bitches! I went to Hawaii! Jealous?”

Despite having easy access to macadamia nuts and them being so delicious, I don’t eat them too often because they’re expensive. Also, if I buy some, they’ll be less of them for those tourists who would like nothing better than to give a box of chocolate covered macadamia nuts to the annoying person in the cubicle next to them at work, then talking about how awesome their trip to Hawaii was and then asking what went on at work while he/she was soaking up some rays on a beach with a beverage served in a coconut and topped with a tiny paper umbrella.

While I don’t know if the new Ben & Jerry’s Chocolate Macadamia Ice Cream has macadamia nuts from Hawaii, I do know that there wasn’t enough of them in the pint I purchased. Along with the nuts, which are fudge covered, this flavor also consists of chocolate and vanilla ice creams made from Fair Trade Certified cocoa and vanilla, which means the companies that produce them meet certain environmental, labor and development standards.

With all of the ingredients involved I expected the ice cream and my tongue to do the Lambada, the Forbidden Dance, but instead they ended up holding each other at arms length and just swaying from side to side as Atlantic Starr’s “Always” plays. The chocolate and vanilla ice creams were delicious and creamy, but the macadamia nuts overpowered their flavors, but only when I could get a macadamia nut in a spoonful. As I mentioned earlier, I felt there weren’t enough macadamia nuts throughout the pint of ice cream. I counted ten whole nuts, but I think I would’ve preferred them being in much smaller pieces so that they could be spread out more and dampen their flavor.

Now that I think about it, I guess I could add my own smaller pieces of macadamia nuts since they’re so easy to get on this rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean.

(Nutrition Facts – 1/2 cup – 270 calories, 18 grams of fat, 12 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 50 milligrams of cholesterol, 65 milligrams of sodium, 25 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 22 grams of sugar, 4 grams of protein, 10% vitamin A, 15% calcium and 8% iron.)

Item: Ben & Jerry’s Chocolate Macadamia Ice Cream
Price: $3.99
Size: 1 Pint
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Chocolate and vanilla ice creams were delicious and creamy. Uses Fair Trade Certified cocoa and vanilla. Macadamia nuts. The perfect gift to give to your friends and coworkers to tactfully brag about the fact that you vacationed in Hawaii.
Cons: Macadamia nuts overpowered the flavor of the ice cream. Slightly disappointing. Not enough nuts were spread throughout the pint. Would’ve been better with smaller nut pieces. Getting chocolate covered macadamia nuts from your co-worker who just came back from Hawaii. Taiwanese tranny hookers.