QUICK REVIEW: Dove Milk Chocolate Hot Cocoa with Marshmallow Creme Promises

Dove Milk Chocolate Hot Cocoa Promises

What are Dove Milk Chocolate Hot Cocoa with Marshmallow Creme Promises?

A mouthful to say.

Joking aside, it’s Dove getting in on the hot cocoa flavor trend. It’s the squircle-shaped candy that we know and love from Dove, but with milk chocolate hot cocoa and a marshmallow crème flavored center (note that it’s not phrased as “hot cocoa-flavored milk chocolate”). It’s a limited time only candy and is available exclusively at Target.

How are they?

It had the silky smoothness of typical Dove Promises, but any hot cocoa-ness was really subtle (also see: non-existent). I kept eating piece after piece, and each time I thought I was starting to get a hint of marshmallow or rich cocoa, it would quickly dissipate into a one-note milk chocolate flavor.

Dove Milk Chocolate Hot Cocoa Promises 3

I expected it to be more marshmallow-forward because the majority of the interior was crème colored. But, once I picked off some of the crème to try on its own, I discovered that it was like white chocolate. One could argue that a marshmallow doesn’t taste like anything, but whatever it is, it’s overpowered entirely by milk chocolate.

Is there anything else you need to know?

I think the recently released Hot Cocoa M&M’s have more of a hot cocoa flavor than this. At least, I could tell they didn’t taste like regular M&M’s.


Dove Milk Chocolate Hot Cocoa Promises 2

Dove Milk Chocolate Hot Cocoa Promises 4

Dove’s Milk Chocolate Hot Cocoa with Marshmallow Creme Promises are good, but they don’t quite deliver on the flavor profile. But, I do appreciate that the foil wrappers and the Promises written on the inside have a holiday theme.

Purchased Price: $3.99
Size: 7.94 oz.
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 4 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (4 pieces) 180 calories, 11 grams of fat, 8 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, less than 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 25 milligrams of sodium, 17 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 17 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.

QUICK REVIEW: Hot Cocoa Hershey’s Kisses

Hot Cocoa Hershey's Kisses

What are Hot Cocoa Hershey’s Kisses?

Since real kisses are so hard to come by these days, I figured I’d continue my hot cocoa kick with Hot Cocoa Hershey’s Kisses that feature milk chocolate with marshmallow creme.

How is it?

Hot Cocoa Hershey's Kisses 2

I’m gonna start with a bit of a prediction – I think most people will enjoy these more than I do. That being said, I do like them. I just thought I’d love them.

The Kiss casing is standard Hershey’s fare – or “fair” depending on your thoughts of Hershey’s chocolate.

Hot Cocoa Hershey's Kisses 3

The marshmallow crème center is the star of the show, but like Hot Cocoa M&M’s, it doesn’t necessarily scream “marshmallow!”

The first taste of marshmallow that hits reminded me of a standard cereal marbit, but that quickly got lost in the chocolate.

I kept being reminded of a “brownie batter” flavor as I was eating them, but I’m confused as to why a regular Kiss and marshmallow flavored crème would give me that impression. Nevertheless, that’s what I kept tasting.

Is there anything else I need to know?

I dug the texture of these Kisses.

The crème is softer than usual and quickly melts in your mouth, almost giving you a hot cocoa marshmallow sensation. I’d say the texture is somewhere between the outer chocolate, and the type of marshmallow you’d get in a Russell Stover chocolate marshmallow Santa.

I still couldn’t get past that brownie batter taste. To borrow a poker term, these were a “little too rich for my blood.” I let three melt in my mouth and wanted to chug a bottle of water.


Like I said, you’re gonna like these more than I did. Still, the center and the texture make Hot Cocoa Hershey’s Kisses worth picking up.

Actually, as I was eating these, I kept thinking of one thing – Hershey’s Hugs. These were kinda like inferior Hugs. Do Hugs still exist? I miss Hugs – both the candy and the warm embrace.

I’m very lonely.

Purchased Price: $3.33
Size: 10 oz. package
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 5 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (7 Kisses) 160 calories, 10 grams of fat, 6 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 40 milligrams of sodium, 19 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 18 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.


Hot Cocoa M&M's

What are Hot Cocoa M&M’s?

Unlike the Hot Chocolate flavor from a few years ago made with dark chocolate, Hot Cocoa M&M’s are standard milk chocolate with a white chocolate marshmallow center.

How are they?

Hot Cocoa M&M's 2

Have you ever had a regular M&M? How ’bout a White Chocolate M&M? Well, imagine tossing one of each in your mouth at the same time. There ya go. That’s a Hot Cocoa M&M.

Is that a bad thing? Not necessarily. These are still decent, but they’re also very reminiscent of flavors you’ve probably already had.

Hot Cocoa M&M's 3

The idea of a marshmallow-flavored center got me pumped, but it just tasted like white chocolate. Whatever. I like white chocolate. I guess you could convince me it tasted like the fake marshmallow crème you’d get in a s’mores-flavored sandwich cookie, but barely.

I guess I should have tempered my excitement, because about 75 percent of the marshmallow experience is the texture, and you’re obviously not getting a gooey, stretchy marshmallow in the middle of M&M’s.

Is there anything else I need to know?

Hot cocoa is the type of treat that’s very reliant on factors you can’t mimic in a piece of candy. There’s a (sometimes horrible) experience when it comes to drinking a piping hot mug of hot cocoa, and these M&M’s don’t really conjure that.


Hot Cocoa M&M's 4

The center was still satisfying and I’ll eat the entire bag, but Hot Cocoa M&M’s were a bit of a miss for me. I was hoping they’d be more of a Swiss Miss.

Yeah, that was corny, but I stand by it. If you pick these up, go in expecting a milk chocolate/white chocolate hybrid and enjoy.

As always, I appreciate M&M’s living up to their name, and releasing “More & More” flavors to the public. That’s what “M&M” stands for by the way.

Don’t fact check that.

Purchased Price: $3.19
Size: 8 oz. bag
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 oz.) 140 calories, 6 grams of fat, 4 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, less than 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 25 milligrams of sodium, 20 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 18 grams of sugar, and 1 gram of protein.

REVIEW: Oreo Hot Cocoa Mix

Oreo Hot Cocoa Mix

Oreo has become a D-list celebrity that gets paid for club appearances.

Want the iconic cookie to show up in your milkshake, on your doughnut, or attached to your nuts? That can happen for the right price. Yes, Oreo is the Scott Disick or Lil’ Jon of the snack world. YEAH!!!

The latest company to pay the cookie an appearance fee is Kerry, who has Oreo in its hot cocoa mix. No, not you, Kerry, who’s reading this review right now. Kerry, a food company headquartered in Ireland.

The Oreo Hot Cocoa Mix box says it contains “Oreo Cookie Crumbs,” and a quick look at its ingredients list and what’s on an Oreo package shows that’s the case. While both have the same ingredients, the hot cocoa mix doesn’t appear to be a collection of dark cookie crumbs. Instead, it looks like something from Swiss Miss, Nestle, or a quarry.

Oreo Hot Cocoa Mix 2

I made a cup with water, and, because of my Swiss Miss experiences, I expected it to be, well, um, watery. But that was not the case with the Oreo Hot Cocoa Mix. Swirling it around in the mug like I was aerating wine shows it has a viscosity that makes it difficult to tell water was used. I don’t know if that means thickening agents or I need to wash my dishes better.

But its consistency might also be the result of the amount of powder in each envelope that goes into the six ounces of liquid the instructions say to use. Each one has about 70 percent more than what’s in a Swiss Miss packet. While that creates a thicker beverage, the amount also makes it difficult to dissolve all the contents in hot liquid. Despite my vigorous stirring, many small powder clumps remained.

Oreo Hot Cocoa Mix 3

The hot cocoa mix smells like the wafer from the popular cookie, but, in beverage form, it doesn’t make me think I’m drinking molten Oreo. But there’s a bit of the cookie’s dark cocoa flavor in the aftertaste. While it doesn’t fully taste like a chocolate Oreo wafer, it’s a darker, more decadent hot chocolate than I’m used to. It’s quite good.

I also made a cup with vanilla soy milk, but, despite it being creamier than the one made with water, it’s less pleasing because the non-dairy milk hides whatever Oreo flavor there is.

Like Scott Disick’s club appearances, I thought Oreo Hot Cocoa Mix was a desperate money grab. But while Mr. Disick has nothing to offer society, the Oreo Hot Cocoa Mix offers a warm, sweet beverage that’ll hit the spot when the temperatures start dropping.


Thanks to reader Robbie for sending me a box!

(Nutrition Facts – 1 packet – 150 calories, 30 calories from fat, 3.5 grams of fat, 2.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 210 milligrams of sodium, 28 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 23 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.)

Purchased Price: $2.98
Size: 8-pack
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: Smells like chocolate Oreo wafers. A step above Swiss Miss and Nestle hot cocoa mixes. Tastes really good when made with water.
Cons: Is Oreo Yoo-hoo next? Oreo is like a D-list celebrity that gets paid of club appearances. Oreo flavor disappears when made with vanilla soy milk.

REVIEW: International Delight Dark Chocolate Hot Chocolate

International Delight Dark Chocolate Hot Chocolate

I was a dumb kid.

Growing up, I never understood society’s romanticized view of hot chocolate. I wondered why people applauded its chocolaty taste, when every time I made hot chocolate it tasted bland and runny.

And why did they so happily warm their hands with the stuff on winter days, when mine got lukewarm and nasty halfway through?

Oh, that’s right. Because up until I turned [EMBARRASINGLY HIGH NUMBER REMOVED] years old, I thought hot chocolate was made by simply microwaving chocolate milk.

I was a dumb, dumb kid.

Perhaps by reviewing International Delight Hot Chocolate, I can atone for my choco-sins. This new refrigerated hot chocolate dairy beverage (“Hello, is this the Oxymoron Police? Yeah, it’s me again.”) comes in dark and milk chocolate varieties. I chose the former, figuring it was less likely to just be classier chocolate milk.

The drink claims to contain all the goodness of hot cocoa* after only 45 seconds in the microwave.

*In the unending civil war between people who say “hot cocoa” and people who say “hot chocolate,” I’m choosing to remain as neutral as a mug of Swiss Miss.

International Delight Dark Chocolate Hot Chocolate 2

Pouring out the viscous liquid, I curiously wondered what “Cold Chocolate” would taste like. I also wondered whether “Cold Chocolate” would be a better name for an Android operating system or an Icelandic techno-pop supergroup. But that’s beside the point.

And unlike an actual feline, who would find chocolate quite toxic, curiosity didn’t kill this cat. Rather, I found the syrupy, chilled drink to have a dense, tasty mix of sweet, fatty milk and rich, creamy cocoa. There was no dark chocolate bitterness, though, so I can only imagine how cloying the milk chocolate flavor would be.

I suddenly realized that it tastes exactly like a slightly melted chocolate Snack Pack! I never knew that “pudding milk” was something I needed so badly in my life, but now that I’ve acquired a taste for it, I don’t think I can ever go back. This must be how Count Chocula got his start.

International Delight Dark Chocolate Hot Chocolate 3

Returning from pudding nirvana, I actually followed the instructions and microwaved my 8 fluid ounces of Hot Chocolate. After a brief stir, I sipped the steaming, frothy liquid, and the first taste set off sad Price is Right trombones in my head. The heating process made the previously lovely goo much thinner and considerably less potent from a chocolate standpoint.

What was once whole-ier than whole milk was now more like hot 2% and Hershey’s syrup. The thin cream taste had processed cocoa notes that required frequent stirring to save from sinking into the brown abyss.

I’m no food scientist, so I don’t know what about microwaving makes this taste so diluted, flat, and even kinda slimy. Do microwaves burn off fat? If they do, those “One Weird Trick To Cut Off Belly Fat” banner ads are about to get a whole lot weirder.

International Delight Dark Chocolate Hot Chocolate 4

But even a food scientologist can tell this isn’t quite real hot cocoa. Even adding marshmallows didn’t help; it was just putting sugary white lipstick on a pig.

I recommend buying this drink, but only if you immediately cross out the word “Hot” with Sharpie. Like that shameful misunderstanding from my past, it’s best if we all just pretend it didn’t happen and instead happily chug International Delight Chocolate straight out of the refrigerator.

Oh, and if you do, you might want to cross out that whole “200 calories per serving” part, too.

See no evil, no evil goes straight to my thighs, right?

(Nutrition Facts – 1 cup – 200 calories, 1.5 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 320 milligrams of sodium, 38 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 31 grams of sugar, and 8 grams of protein.)

Item: International Delight Dark Chocolate Hot Chocolate
Purchased Price: $2.99
Size: 1 quart
Purchased at: Meijer
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Whole-y cold pudding milk, Batman! Becoming a chocolate vampire. Munching many mini marshmallows. Escaping childhood shame.
Cons: Completely fails at its intended purpose. Pretty much “Microwaved Chocolate Milk 2.0.” Wasting 45 seconds I could’ve spent microwaving Pizza Rolls. Taking the phrase “brown abyss” out of context. Still only owning one glass cup.