Purchased Price: $6.99
Size: 3-pack
Purchased at: Safeway
Nutrition Facts: (1 bar) 280 calories, 150 calories from fat, 17 grams of fat, 12 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 15 milligrams of cholesterol, 90 milligrams of sodium, 30 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 23 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.
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Sometimes, I wish my tonsils had just been removed. I could be sitting in bed, relaxed and comfortable, looking over at my two freshly removed tonsils floating happily in a small jar while my doctor tells me that the operation went fine. Who cares that I know very little about the entire tonsil removal procedure, or for that matter, the purpose or function of those tiny glands, I just want them out.
I say this because, growing up, everything I knew about this minimally invasive surgical procedure came from stories told by my friends and classmates. From what I could interpret based on recess and bus-ride gossip—overlooking the actual procedure itself—was one very important fact: There would be ice cream. Not just once, or twice as a treat, but all the time. As a little dude, that was all I needed to hear. Sign me up for ice cream nirvana.
Little has changed now that I am a fully formed adult-ish person. My knowledge of tonsil removal remains minimal at best (although a quick Google search put some unwanted images in my head) and, more importantly, my love of ice cream remains unfaltering. For this reason, when the new Magnum Infinity Chocolate & Raspberry Ice Cream Bars finally made their way into my supermarket after being exclusively available in the U.K. since 2012, even with two perfectly intact tonsils, I figured I deserved a treat.
‘Magnum Infinity’ sounds like a new Lexus model or a spaceship, everything about these fancy bars exhume class and distinction. Forget about your plebeian Poland Springs and Dasani, it’s time to grab the Perrier because there is about to be some West Egg new-money shizz going down. And, at the price of $6 for a total of three ice cream bars, you had better feel goddamn fancy.
Delivering on its promises to make you feel sophisticated while cramming in 60 percent of your daily value of saturated fat while watching Cheers on syndication in that t-shirt with the questionable stain (it’s probably just jelly, right?), Magnum Infinity Chocolate and Raspberry Ice Cream Bars deliver in all the best ways.
Each individual bar, although a bit on the smaller side, is coated in a pleasantly rich dark chocolate that is thin enough to leave the main stage for the ice cream itself, but thick enough not to crumble off leaving the rest of bar exposed. Moreover, providing an interesting texture to the dark chocolate outside are what Magnum, for some reason, has decided to call “cocoa bean bibs,” which sound as hilarious and they are delicious.
Yet, all the cocoa bean nibs in the world could not save an ice cream bar that didn’t have the actual ice cream to back it up. Luckily, the dark chocolate ice cream at the core of these Magnum Infinity bars certainly does the job. It is dense and almost fudgy, which is just how I like my chocolate ice cream, and the raspberry swirl, though not as visible as the box’s picture might lead you to assume, certainly provides a nice fruity karate kick to the entire bar.
As Target is to Walmart and Staples is to Office Max, compared to the majority of other grocery store ice cream bars, Magnum Infinity is a clear one notch above the rest. And, while I do wish that each bar was a bit larger, it certainly has the quality to justify both its packaging and slightly higher price tag. Now I just need to see about getting myself a bag of those nibs.
Phew… I made it through the entire review without making a single condom joke.
(Nutrition Facts – 1 bar – 260 calories, 160 calories from fat, 18 grams of fat, 12 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 20 milligrams of cholesterol, 45 milligrams of sodium, 25 grams of carbohydrates, 4 grams of fiber, 20 grams of sugar, and 4 grams of protein.)
Item: Magnum Infinity Chocolate & Raspberry Ice Cream Bar
Purchased Price: $5.99
Size: 3 bars/box
Purchased at: Stop & Shop
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: Nice raspberry flavor and dark chocolate dip. Makes you feel sophisticated. The fact that cocoa bean nibs are a thing. Pretty much nibs in general.
Cons: Small serving size. Pricey.
Let’s play the word association game.
What’s the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word “Magnum”? One of my friends said “guns”, but he’s from Texas, so that doesn’t count. Magnum P.I. would also be an acceptable answer, if you’re over the age of 30 or just have an appreciation of fine mustaches.
My first thought, because I am a perv, was, of course, “condoms for guys with giant penises”. Can you really blame me? Their whole marketing campaign is all about pleasure and indulgence. Magnum is easily the sexiest ice cream bar company around, if anyone was giving out awards for “Sexiest Ice Cream Bar”, which might be an awards show I’d actually watch.
I’m not talking about Magnums in general, though – I’m talking about Magnum Gold?!
As you’ve probably gathered by now, I didn’t just have an attack of surprise and disbelief, there – that interrobang was all Magnum’s doing. I checked their website. Time and time again, that ?! was present but unaddressed. It was like Magnum thought this was a perfectly normal punctuation to throw on a product name. Did nobody explain to Magnum what an interrobang indicates?!
Magnum describes their Gold?! Ice Cream Bar as “Silky vanilla bean ice cream swirled with sea salt caramel and covered in a golden coating made with Belgian Milk Chocolate.”
There is, of course, no actual gold in Magnum Gold?! ice cream bars. However, I was disappointed by the lack of shiny allure in the gold coating. It barely glimmered at all?! I’ve seen enough cake decorating shows to know that there’s edible gold out there that is shiny enough to attract raccoons from a half mile away. This was not that gold. This was more of a dull sheen.
The gold-covered milk chocolate shell tasted pretty high-quality – I’d put it at about Dove chocolate status. I’m glad the chocolate was so tasty, because there sure was a lot of it – too much, in fact. The shell was so thick it took a bit of effort to break through it, and the thickness seemed to cause excessive breakage. I guess I’d rather get a gold stain on my shirt than a chocolate stain?!
The vanilla ice cream was indeed smooth, and you could see the vanilla bean flecks in it. It played well with the chocolate shell, which is pretty much stating the obvious. Since when haven’t vanilla and chocolate gone well together?!
Unfortunately, the main feature of Magnum Gold?! (besides the Gold?! coating, of course), the sea salt caramel, was not strong enough to stand up to the richness of the chocolate shell. I could definitely see the caramel swirls, but I only got one or two bites where I could distinctly taste its flavor. Even then, the caramel flavor was pedestrian. There was nothing to distinguish it as sea salt caramel as opposed to just regular ol’ caramel?!
Magnum Gold?! has a little brother known as Magnum Mini Gold?! I was hoping maybe the smaller version would have a thinner shell, but Mini Gold?! shared all the characteristics, good and bad, of its bigger version. The main difference was that Mini Gold?! didn’t come in a fancy gold foil wrapper, which, by the way, is about the most annoying thing in the universe to try to photograph.
Fun fact, I got a Magnum Mini Gold?! that had the “M” on the hand-side of the stick instead of “Magnum”. I thought this was just part of being a Mini, but the rest of them had “Magnum” with the heart symbol on it showing, just like the larger version. Ice cream bar blooper reel!
I’ve tried other Magnum Ice Cream Bar flavors before, and have found them to be almost too rich and decadent. While they have their shortcomings, Magnum Gold?! Ice Cream Bars, on the other hand, have a nice balance of sweet and rich, which is funny because it’s called Gold?! Get it?!
Disclosure: The author received free Magnum Gold?! and Magnum Mini Gold?! Ice Cream Bars samples from Unilever. She also received a treasure chest with a bottle of Moet & Chandon Imperial Champagne.
(Nutrition Facts – 1 bar – Magnum Gold?! Ice Cream Bar – 290 calories, 20 grams of total fat, 14 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 25 milligrams of cholesterol, 75 milligrams of sodium, 25 grams of total carbohydrates, 1 gram of dietary fiber, 24 grams of sugar, 3 grams of protein, 8% vitamin A, 10% calcium, and 4% iron. Magnum Mini Gold?! Ice Cream Bar – 170 calories, 12 grams of total fat, 8 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 15 milligrams of cholesterol, 40 milligrams of sodium, 15 grams of total carbohydrates, 0 grams of dietary fiber, 14 grams of sugar, 2 grams of protein, 4% vitamin A, 6% calcium, and 2% iron.)
Other Magnum Gold?! and Magnum Mini Gold?! reviews:
On Second Scoop
Brand Eating
Item: Magnum Gold?! and Magnum Mini Gold?! Ice Cream Bars
Purchased Price: FREE
Size: 3 bars (Magnum Gold?!)
Size: 6 bars (Magnum Mini Gold?!)
Purchased at: Received from Magnum
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Quality chocolate shell. Smooth vanilla bean ice cream. Being able to eat gold. Random, unexplained interrobangs. Not overwhelmingly rich like other Magnum bars. Ice cream bar blooper reels.
Cons: Chocolate shell was too thick. Caramel was too faint and not sea-salty. Random, unexplained interrobangs. Chocolate was overwhelming other flavors. I can’t stop thinking about penises when I see the word “Magnum”.