REVIEW: Post Limited Edition Frosted Chocolate Cake Cereal

I’m curious. The last time you ate chocolate cake for breakfast, were you:

a) Enjoying a donut with sprinkles
b) Digging into your birthday cake early
c) Having a rough week and running out of hoots to give
d) Actually enjoying a chocolate cake-inspired cereal?

Maybe the more important question is, what will you do NEXT TIME you have run out of your typical breakfast or personal quota of hoots? While other actions are certainly acceptable, Post Limited Edition Frosted Chocolate Cake Cereal makes choice d) possible and just as appealing as buttercream at dawn.

It’s a shredded wheat-style cereal consisting of cocoa-flavored biscuits made with chocolate chips and topped with sugar coating. The product offers a decadent twist on the shredded wheat you may pair with fruit or yogurt. However, it still boasts the whole grains and fiber absent from the layered cake you were dreaming about hours earlier.

Typically, the Venn Diagram of Frosted Chocolate Cake and shredded wheat cereal do not overlap much. While I can be critical of products that do not live up to their flavor inspirations (seriously, not every strawberry-flavored product needs to be named Strawberry Shortcake!), this cereal does justice to its namesake while remaining a palatable breakfast option.

The crunchy biscuits have a strong cocoa flavor with a dusting of extra sweetness from the solid white icing. Within the layers of wheat, chocolate chips add delicious pops of texture and taste. Not every biscuit is blessed with a chocolate chip, which might be a metaphor for life. But when they are present, the chips have just a hint of fudgyness that is never overwhelming or cloying. Like many shredded wheat products, the biscuits soak up milk like a sponge and soften quickly, but the chocolate flavor doesn’t diminish.

For those keeping score, we have flavor, layers, and, if I’m reaching, spongelike properties. The cereal ticks one more box of a good chocolate cake: it is satisfying in large or small portions. One serving is 26 biscuits, a solid breakfast, and now feels like the right time to sneak in how much I love that these pillow-shaped pieces of shredded wheat cereal are called biscuits.

Post Limited Edition Frosted Chocolate Cake Cereal tastes almost exactly like the now-discontinued Kellogg’s Chocolate Frosted Mini Wheats Little Bites, even down to the chocolate chips embedded within the wheat. While the Kellogg’s product consisted of smaller biscuits (and less sugar per serving), the Post product is an excellent dupe. Whether you were a Little Bites fan or simply appreciate a quality chocolate cereal, consider snatching up a few boxes of Post’s limited edition product while you have the chance.

Purchased Price: $3.98
Size: 16 oz box
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (per 1 serving of 26 biscuits) 210 calories, 2.5 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 40 milligrams of sodium, 48 grams of carbohydrates, 6 grams of fiber, 18 grams of sugar, and 5 grams of protein

REVIEW: Kellogg’s Froot Loops Rainbow Sherbet Scoops Cereal

Who among us hasn’t been eating our fruity children’s breakfast cereal and thought, “This cereal is fine, but what it really needs is to taste more like sherbet and also maybe a little like a menthol cigarette”? Plenty of us, apparently, because Kellogg’s is breaking out the Mentholation Machine first employed in last year’s ICEE Cereal.

And so although this isn’t the first cereal to use the “Cools Your Mouth!” gimmick, and it isn’t the first to use a “sherbet” twist (Post unleashed Ice Cream Pebbles on an unsuspecting public in 2015), what it’s got going for it is that it could be the worst type of cereal in both categories. Kellogg’s knows it’s important to have goals!

First, it’s vital to remember that these are Froot Loops, only in spherical form. Except that these taste nothing like regular Froot Loops. They’re closer to Trix, I think, except less fruity. In short, they are vaguely artificially fruit-like in nature. The pieces are indiscernible in terms of fruit type, which feels like a shortcoming when compared to regular Froot Loops rings; all of the balls taste the same.

Nothing about these say “sherbet,” either. It’s just multigrain cereal, through and through.

Which leaves us, I suppose, with the real attraction -— the mouth-cooling special effect. Does it work? How cool does your mouth get? What’s the point of all this?

So, when I first opened the bag and popped a few pieces dry into my mouth, I was horrified. It tasted as though someone had applied a fine misting of Icy Hot to my cereal. It didn’t burn my mouth, but it was gross and confusing. I let my 10-year-old daughter try it, and she said, “Um,

what IS that?

Weird. I don’t really like it. Can I have 20 more minutes of iPad time, please?”

I didn’t get a chance to revisit the cereal for a couple of days (clearly, I wasn’t clamoring for more), but when I did, I tried it in a bowl with milk. It grew soggy quicker than most other multigrain-based cereals and also seemed to lose any of the previously noticeable “Froot” flavor. Gone too was the “menthol” taste, but what was interesting was that I did notice a distinct “mouth cooling” feel after the first spoonful. It was unpleasant, like brushing my teeth and then immediately consuming food. I didn’t finish my bowl, and I have no desire to eat more. (Which, thanks, Target, for only having this available in the SUPER MEGA FAMILY SIZE!)

I don’t know why this cereal was made. It was a mistake, like Frankenstein’s monster or a barbwire bicep tattoo, and while I’d like to think Kellogg’s will learn its lesson and stop getting weird with food science, I’ve been in this business long enough to know this simply isn’t true.

Purchased Price: $4.76 (on sale)
Size: 12.4 oz box
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 3 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 1/3rd cup) 140 calories, 1 gram of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 230 milligrams of sodium, 45 grams of carbohydrates, 5 grams of fiber, 11 grams of sugar (including 11 grams of added sugar), and 2 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Birthday Cake Loaded Cereal

Happy 6th Month Birthday, General Mills’ Loaded Cereal!

It seems like yesterday that the Loaded Cereal line with vanilla creme filling debuted with three flavors: Cocoa Puffs, Cinnamon Toast Crunch, and Trix. Usually brands celebrate birthdays after many years, like Oreo’s 100th, Pop-Tarts’ 50th, Starbucks Frappuccino’s 20th, Pebbles Cereal’s 50th, Cap’n Crunch’s 60th, and Slurpee’s 50th, But you do you, Loaded Cereal, because I’m not sure how long your line is going to be around. Will there even be a 5th birthday?

I ask because the Loaded Cereals have yet to impress me entirely. If you love sugary cereals, your sweet tooth will get its fill. The Cocoa Puffs and Trix varieties were good, while the Cinnamon Toast Crunch one was a slight disappointment. I like the crisp cereal pieces and vanilla creme’s sugary burst.

But the trouble with them comes with the addition of milk. It’s impressive how quickly they turn into milk sponges. I don’t even have time to put the milk back in the refrigerator before they end up halfway to Sogsville. And the cereal goes through stages of sogginess. First, the exterior gets a texture that I can best describe as sort of gritty and slimy. It’s definitely not crispy anymore. But wait a few more milky moments, and those pieces will arrive at Sogsville, but they came by boat, and that boat capsized. Any crispiness they had won’t be there. And that’s the case with this Birthday Cake Loaded Cereal.

On top of that, I’m not sure I taste the whole “birthday cake” vibe it’s trying to present here. I dunno. After trying so many birthday cake-flavored items over the years with similar flavor profiles, I have this expectation of what it should taste like. But I don’t notice it here. There’s a bit of a vanilla flavor, but that can be easily explained by the creme filling. Beyond that, there’s a slight strawberry taste, which might explain some of the pieces’ light red hue. But that berry flavor plus the vanilla doesn’t do enough to convince me that this cereal is supposed to taste like birthday cake.

With that said, Birthday Cake Loaded Cereal tastes fine if you want to start your morning with something sweet. If the short trip they take to get to Sogsville doesn’t bother you or you consume cereal like a competitive cereal eater, you’ll enjoy them more than I did.

DISCLOSURE: I received a free product sample from General Mills. Doing so did not influence my review.

Purchased Price: FREE
Size: 13 oz box
Purchased at: Received from General Mills
Rating: 5 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 cup w/o milk) 180 calories, 5 grams of fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 140 milligrams of sodium, 32 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 12 grams of sugar (including 12 grams of added sugar), and 2 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Kellogg’s Crumbl Chocolatey Chip Cookie Cereal

Let me preface this review by saying, I like Crumbl.

At some points, it might seem like I, in fact, do not like Crumbl, but I like Crumbl!

I don’t love Crumbl. I dislike their “drop the vowel” startup-style name. The blindingly white and clinical aesthetic of the storefront doesn’t pass my vibe check, and the fact every cookie tastes like it’s about 87% cooked through always leaves me feeling a little empty – before I get full from the 800-calorie cookie I shove down my gullet.

That said, I checked my Crumbl app, and I’ve apparently tried 19 of its cookies. That’s a lot of cookies for someone on the fence. Credit to them, they’re always getting my attention with new and interesting flavors that I mostly enjoy to varying degrees. As for its flagship Chocolatey Chip Cookie? It’s solid. I’d probably toss it somewhere near the midpoint of the 19, which is more than enough to get me to try its new Kellogg’s cereal collab.

I haven’t had a cookie-based cereal in years, as I’ve been boycotting Cookie Crisp ever since Officer Crumb, Chip the Dog, and Cookie Crook were replaced with that generic Wolf. There’s room in my heart for a new Cookie Crisp to fill the void, and I promise there’s no bias here, because I do like Crumbl.

This ain’t it.

Look, Crumbl (you too, Kellogg’s). I like you, but what are we doing? This seemed like a slam dunk. At no point did I ever get any real essence of a “chocolatey chip cookie.”

To start, there are barely any chocolate chips. You get a couple of poppy seeds at best. We eat with our eyes first, so give us some more chips. The pieces are smaller, denser, and less chocolatey than Cookie Crisp.

It has a pleasant aroma out of the box, but I’d equate it more to an “almondy café latte” scent than a freshly baked cookie.

Taste-wise, I just never got to the right flavor. It’s a bit synthetic and maybe a tad caramelly. The chocolate is a no-show. There’s so little that the milk barely changed color and certainly didn’t taste chocolatey.

As a cereal, it’s… “whatever.” There’s an acceptable sweetness and a good crunch, but everything is lacking. Here’s where I landed on the flavor – it’s as if they made a blueberry muffin cereal and forgot the blueberries. This tastes like “muffin.” I’m not sure there’s a market for Oops! No Berries.

On top of all that, the box is really small. It’s expensive too. I was gonna complain, but it’s exactly what I pay for a cookie, so maybe that was the plan. There ABSOLUTELY should have been a coupon for a free or discounted Crumbl cookie on the box though. Huge misstep.

This might seem like Cookie Crisp for adults, but it’s just “blah.” Bring back Officer Crumb so he can arrest whoever gave this cereal the ok.

Like their name, report cards leave off “E,” so I give Crumbl cereal a “D.”

Crumbl? More like Stumbl. No, I didn’t mumbl, you heard me – stumbl! But I like Crumbl, I swear.

Purchased Price: $5.49
Size: 7.9 oz box
Purchased at: ShopRite
Rating: 3 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 1/2 Cup) 150 calories, 1 gram of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 170 milligrams of sodium, 34 grams of total carbohydrates, 2 grams of dietary fiber, 13 grams of sugar, 3 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Limited Edition Peach Mango Cheerios Cereal

Sometimes, I wonder if I should stick Cheerios flavors in my freezer to preserve them. Sure, they’re full of preservatives that make them last for months, but I want to keep flavors around for much longer so that I can hatch new fruity combinations like I’m a Jurassic Park scientist bringing dinosaurs back to life. My current chest freezer research on the Best Buy website is the result of my introduction to Limited Edition Peach Mango Cheerios Cereal.

Peach Cheerios has been done before, but mango is new in the Cheerios Extended Universe, and now I wish I could combine it with banana Cheerios. Also, why hasn’t there been a Chocolate Banana variety, General Mills? Anyhoo, before I start rattling off a bunch of Cheerios mashups I’d like to taste, I have to say that this limited edition summery cereal is awe-summer than other fruity varieties I’ve had.

Which ones are peach, and which ones are mango? Um, it’s definitely hard to tell by looking at them. They both look like the siblings of regular Cheerios that like to get occasional spray tans. It’s also difficult to tell by tasting them. I’ve been eating the pieces one by one to taste if there’s a difference, but my taste buds can’t detect whether some cereal pieces are peachy and others are mango-y. Are they both peach AND mango flavored? Or maybe they’re separate, but the flavors have fused because they’ve spent too much time in a sealed bag together, smashing into each other like participants in a heavy metal festival mosh pit.

The peach mango cereal is delicious and a great fruity combination, and my tongue can detect both when eating it, especially when I scoop it up with milk. However, it might be stronger when in milk because the orange coating on the cereal seems to run off into the liquid, making the milk quite fruity and tasty. However, I should mention that it’s not going to make you think of a sweet cereal like Froot Loops or Fruity Pebbles. It’s such a mild flavor that it’ll make eaters of the Cheerios Expanded Universe go, “Meh. Par for the course.” While those who are hoping for an intense blast of fruitiness will go, “Meh. Five over par for the course.”

Limited Edition Peach Mango Cheerios is a scrumptious summer cereal, and I’ll be a little sad when it fades away from shelves as the season comes to an end. Perhaps I should buy a box and preserve it in the chest freezer that’s currently sitting in my cart on the Best Buy website.

DISCLOSURE: I received a free product sample from General Mills. Doing so did not influence my review.?

Purchased Price: FREE
Size: 10.8 oz box
Purchased at: Received from General Mills
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 cup w/o milk) 140 calories, 2 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 160 milligrams of sodium, 29 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 11 grams of sugar (including 11 grams of added sugar), and 3 grams of protein.