REVIEW: General Mills S’mores and Chocolate Strawberry Loaded Cereals

For the sake of synergy, I was hoping S’mores Loaded Cereal would’ve been Golden Grahams S’mores Loaded. The moniker has been used a couple of times, so why not give the neglected O.G.G. (Original Golden Grahams) some L-O-V-E. As for the Chocolate Strawberry Loaded Cereal, it fits with the current Valentine’s season that began well before all the air was taken out of the last Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade balloon.

The two new Loaded Cereals join a loaded lineup that includes Trix, Cocoa Puffs, Cinnamon Toast Crunch, and Birthday Cake. Before trying them, I predicted I would enjoy the S’mores one much more than the Chocolate Strawberry, but to my surprise, that wasn’t the case.

With this fruity and chocolatey cereal, the strawberry stands out more than the cocoa creme filling, and thinking back to all the other strawberry-flavored breakfast cereals I’ve had in the past, this one might be the best tasting. While the chocolate plays second fiddle, it adds a bit of decadence to the bowl. Unfortunately, while I was able to eat two bowls of it, my five-year-old son seemed to like these more than I did and protected the cereal like a lioness protecting her cubs. One time, when I wanted some as a snack, he gave me a stink eye as I pulled the box from the cabinet. Then he said, “That cereal is red, and so is your blood. I hope we don’t have to see your blood, Daddy.” I considered that a threat, so I returned the cereal and grabbed the S’mores one instead.

While I prefer the Chocolate Strawberry one and wish I could eat more, the S’mores Loaded Cereal is good. Although, at first, I thought the pieces lacked a marshmallow taste. But after a few more spoonfuls, my taste buds could detect a hint of something marshmallow-y. They have a noticeable chocolate aroma in the bag, but that doesn’t translate to a bold chocolate flavor. It’s slightly less noticeable than the creme in the other new flavor. Also, I taste more of the underlying wheat instead of a graham flavor. It’s not optimal, but it doesn’t ruin the cereal.

When I tried the original Loaded flavors, there was a, for lack of a better word, sliminess to them when they sat in milk for too long. It’s still there with these, but less so than what I experienced before. Also, much like the original varieties, I think these make for a better dry snack than in a bowl with milk, no matter what kind of dairy is used.

As I mentioned, I liked the Chocolate Strawberry Loaded over S’mores Loaded, but I enjoyed both more than the previous Loaded Cereal varieties.

DISCLOSURE: I received free product samples from General Mills. Doing so did not influence my review.

Purchased Price: FREE
Size: 15.6 oz box (S’mores), 18.1 oz box (Chocolate Strawberry)
Rating: 7 out of 10 (S’mores), 8 out of 10 (Chocolate Strawberry)
Nutrition Facts: (1 cup – cereal only) S’mores – 230 calories, 7 grams of fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 160 milligrams of sodium, 40 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 15 grams of sugar (including 14 grams of added sugar), and 3 grams of protein. Chocolate Strawberry – 220 calories, 7 grams of fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 150 milligrams of sodium, 40 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 15 grams of sugar (including 14 grams of added sugar), and 3 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Cheerios Protein Cereal

We’re fast approaching the start of a new year, a demarcation of time in which many people across the globe resolve to change something about their habits or behaviors in an effort to improve themselves. They make a resolution, as it were, in the New Year. And while a lot of these resolutions involve giving something up— junk food, smoking, illegal cockfighting— others are about adopting something new— exercising, speaking out against illegal cockfighting, a healthier diet.

And as health aficionados the world over will tell you, protein, for most people in most situations, is pretty healthy. General Mills knows this and is adding protein to its already “heart-healthy” Cheerios to capture some of that sweet Resolution Cash. The new protein-packed cereals come in two versions— Cinnamon and Strawberry. I tried both.

Strawberry

Opening the Strawberry bag, I was hit with an overwhelming aroma of, well, strawberry. Visually, they’re also a little pink, but not blindingly so. One thing that threw me for a loop with my first bite was just how crunchy these are. While I’m not a regular Cheerios consumer, I have been known to eat a bowl of Honey Nut when the mood strikes, and they’re definitely not as crunchy as these new heavily protein-ed versions. The strawberry taste is very subtle, which seems to suit Cheerios — given that they’re not known for being cloyingly sweet in the first place.

Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (37g) 150 calories, 2.5 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 210 milligrams of sodium, 24 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 12 grams of sugar (11 grams of added sugar), and 8 grams of protein.

Cinnamon

The Cinnamon kind doesn’t have as strong of a cinnamon scent, but the actual cinnamon TASTE is a bit stronger, so if you like cinnamon-flavored things, you’re in luck. Texturally, they’re about the same — incredibly crunchy. But as an avowed cinnamon lover, these ended up a point higher than their fruity brethren.

Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (37g) 150 calories, 2.5 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 210 milligrams of sodium, 24 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 12 grams of sugar (12 grams of added sugar), and 8 grams of protein.

Overall, these taste great. But the selling point, really, is the protein, right? A cup of these (the standard cereal serving that seems impossibly tiny when accurately measured out) is good for eight grams. What else gets you eight grams of protein in the morning? A single large egg is around 6-7 grams, so a couple of those would put you over. A cup of Greek yogurt will get you well beyond eight grams. A couple of spoons of peanut butter will do the trick. Regular oatmeal is a tick under, but close.

The point is that plenty of typical breakfast foods are good protein sources. But if you don’t have time to whip up some eggs — and you don’t wanna drink them Rocky-style raw — new Protein Cheerios are a reasonably decent (and tasty!) solution. That said, most of the foods I listed above have significantly less added sugar. Despite the decent amount of protein, these things are sugary-sweet, on par with the sugariest things the Cap’n, the Rabbit, or the uh, Cinnamon Toaster (?) have to offer.

Purchased Price: $5.49
Purchased at: Hy-Vee

REVIEW: Kellogg’s Glazed Donut Holes Cereal

Time to fake the donuts.

Donuts are probably my favorite food, and the kid in me still gets excited every time I see a new cereal on the shelf, but as far as cereals based on donut flavors… Has there ever truly been a good one?

Donut cereals are usually just generic “O” shaped pieces with gimmicky branding. It just seems like an easy way to pass off a new idea for a quick buck. Look, I still get that fun jolt of arrested development when I see donuts on a cereal box, but the flavor always ends up being lazy. Doncha think it’s time the Breakfast Gods bless us with a truly innovative donut-based cereal?

Me too. Ya gotta keep waiting, though, because new Kellogg’s Glazed Donut Hole Cereals ain’t it.

On paper, the idea of turning three of Kellogg’s most prominent offerings into little “glazed” donut bites might seem fun, but dare I say these may be the laziest donut cereal attempts to date?

Of the three flavors – Frosted Flakes, Krave, and Apple Jacks – I’ll be reviewing the first two.

Frosted Flakes

They’re sweet. They’re flakey. They’re iconic. Well, now they’re bland little balls. They’re ironic? Probably not, I don’t actually know what irony is, but these are a snoozefest.

I can only describe the flavor as “sweet-ish.” Not Swedish, “sweet-ish.” You get a basic sweet corn cereal taste with a texture I’d compare to a less dense Peanut Butter Crunch. The flavor is so light they almost taste like Kix. They’re lacking such a punch that you could’ve told me they were a brand of “healthy” alternative cereal purchased from Whole Foods. They don’t deliver on the promise at all. They’rrrrrrre GGG-onna need to go back to the drawing board on this one.

Krave

I have an admission, I’ve never had Krave. I’ve loved some “filled pillow” cereals in the past, but they have escaped me since their inception for some reason. While I can’t speak on Krave in their true form, they make for a decent “glazed” donut hole. They’re ok. I wasn’t mad. I wasn’t happy either, but…

These are essentially “Cocoa Puffs Lite.” It’s as if Sonny the Cuckoo Bird finally got on meds and just chilled out for a little bit. While that sounds boring, they’re easily the better of the two. I’m on record as saying most chocolate cereals taste the same, so I don’t mind this lighter chocolate flavor. The dusty white “glaze” gives them a little bit of a hot cocoa flavor vibe.

The back of each box boasts “Glazed in Genius,” but these are dumb and unglazed. It’s just a faint white coating. Both cereals look similar, with Krave having a slightly darker hue.

Kellogg’s Glazed Donut Holes are, at best, “inoffensive.” They took multiple cereals out of their unique forms for no reason. It’s like the factory setting was stuck on “ball” one day, and they just rolled with it – pun possibly intended.

Donut cereals do-nut work. Pun not intended. Donut hole cereals are especially baffling. There have been approximately 4,389 ball-shaped cereals that we could’ve passed off as “donut holes.” I’m no conspiracy theorist, but I feel like this is some kind of “shrinkflation” ploy where balls are cheaper to produce or something. If donut hole cereals worked, we’d have “Dunkin’ Crunchkins” by now.

If curiosity gets the best of you and you buy these, just mix ’em together. It makes for a slightly better bowl of cereal. Who knows, maybe the Apple Jack version slaps, but Frosted Flakes and Krave are duds.

Purchased Price: $4.99 each
Size: 10 oz. Boxes
Purchased at: Shop Rite
Rating: 3 out of 10 (Frosted Flakes), 5 out of 10 (Krave)
Nutrition Facts: (1 cup) Frosted Flakes – 140 calories, 1.5 gram of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 140 milligrams of sodium, 31 grams of total carbohydrates, 3 grams of dietary fiber, 11 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein. Krave – 130 calories, 1.5 gram of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 160 milligrams of sodium, 31 grams of total carbohydrates, 5 grams of dietary fiber, 11 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Kellogg’s Original Squishmallows Cereal

I once read somewhere that cereal box character mascots are designed to look slightly downward in order to make eye contact with children. The idea of being drawn in by the piercing gaze of Lucky the Leprechaun is super creepy, but if the mascot in question is a cheerful Calico cat named Cam, then I will follow that creature into hell.

I am likely not the target audience for Kellogg’s Original Squishmallows Cereal. Never in my life have I owned or purchased a Squishmallow—the soft, squishy collectible plush toys with so many characters that they will one day outnumber us all. Yet, I fell for the pastel box, graced by Cam and her winsome colleagues (Tatiana, Archie, and Sunny), undone by my own primal urges to buy cute stuff and sweet treats.

Rarely do brand-licensed cereals live up to the allure of their packaging, but Kellogg’s Original Squishmallows Cereal comes close. A marshmallow-flavored cereal with Cam-shaped marbits, this limited edition product is much better than the bland Lucky Charms knock-off I expected.

The sweet vanilla cereal smells and tastes like the contents of a Jet-Puffed bag. The corn-based loops are light, crispy, and very sweet without tasting too sugary. The cereal doesn’t have (or need) powdered sugar or candy-like coating to deliver a satisfying taste. I sometimes find that marshmallow-flavored products taste generically sweet rather than marshmallow-y, but Squishmallows Cereal succeeds in recreating marshmallow’s distinct flavor. The strong flavor reminds me of Kellogg’s Rice Krispies Treats Cereal, which has been gone for years but lives on in my heart.

Milk dilutes the marshmallow quality a bit, but the vanilla essence that remains is still really enjoyable. The loops soften very quickly, but I ate them too fast to be bothered.

The crisp marbits are fun and necessary for a marshmallow-inspired cereal, but I wish they were more. Most of the colorful pieces had sunk to the bottom of the bag, but even when redistributed, the portions were stingy. According to the back of the box, there are 25 varieties of Cam represented in the Squishmallow brand, so shouldn’t the marshmallows created in his image be equally plentiful?

The style of Kellogg’s Original Squishmallows Cereal may catch your eye, but the substantial marshmallow flavor makes it a worthy buy for a sweet breakfast or snack. The Squishmallows gang gives Lucky the Leprechaun a run for his charms. While I may not have the means to accommodate 25 varieties of Cam the Calico cat, there is room in my pantry for another box of this cereal before its limited edition run is over.

Purchased Price: $4.28
Purchased at: Walmart
Size: 11.6 oz (328 g) box
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (per 1 1/3 cup)140 calories, 1 gram of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 190 milligrams of sodium, 34 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 14 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Post Oreo Puffs Cereal

Post has replaced its Oreo O’s Cereal with Oreo Puffs Cereal. This makes me scratch my head because the O’s made sense. After all, you can’t spell Oreo without O’s. Okay, technically, spherical puffs can replace the O’s in Oreo and still spell Oreo, but Oreo O’s had such a nice ring to it.

While Oreo O’s was made up of just chocolatey cereal pieces, Oreo Puffs Cereal features sweetened corn and oat cereal made with real Oreo cookie wafers and MARSHMALLOWS.

Yes, some of you perspicacious cereal eaters will point out that there was a limited time Mega Stuff Oreo O’s that had marshmallows. But now the white marbits are standard, like airbags and USB ports in new cars, and AM radios and ashtrays in really old cars. Speaking of the cereal that came out almost five years ago, this is what I wrote about it back then:

Mega Stuf Oreo O’s should be THE Oreo O’s Cereal. With the addition of marshmallows, there’s a better flavor balance between the creme and chocolate that’s more similar to an actual Oreo cookie than the original cereal.

And here we are. I’m not saying my words made this cereal happen, but you’re welcome if they were.

So, how does Oreo Puffs Cereal taste? With the addition of marshmallows, there’s a better flavor balance between the creme and chocolate that’s more similar to an actual Oreo cookie than the original cereal.

Okay, if you want a non-self-plagiarized version, the cereal tastes like Oreo O’s Cereal but with much-welcomed bursts of sweetness from the marshmallows. However, these don’t seem to be the O’s in a new shape. There are taste similarities, but if I remember correctly, the O’s had white specks and an opaque sugary coating that represented the white creme. These puffs only have the sugary white coating. However, it doesn’t make that much of a difference since the marshmallows better represent the filling. While it doesn’t taste EXACTLY like Oreo cookies, there are some chocolatey hints of it in the cereal, much like the original version. But it tastes good enough that there’s no need to cry over spilled milk with Oreo O’s.

Oh, speaking of milk, this makes an unsatisfying chocolatey milk.

So now that an Oreo cereal is safe from being discontinued, can we now focus on bringing Post Nutter Butter Cereal and its bold peanut butter flavor and peanut shape back? Heck, I would even settle for forgoing the peanut shape and having Nutter Butter Puffs Cereal.

DISCLOSURE: I received a free product sample from Post. Doing so did not influence my review.

Purchased Price: FREE
Size: 10 oz box
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 1/2 cups) 150 calories, 2 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 200 milligrams of sodium, 33 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 16 grams of sugar (including 16 grams of added sugar), and 2 grams of protein.