REVIEW: Monster Energy Ultra Gold

Monster Energy Ultra Gold Can

What is the Monster Energy Ultra Gold?

It’s a sugar-free, golden pineapple-flavored energy drink that’s part of the popular Monster Energy Ultra line, which includes such flavors as Watermelon, Fiesta, Rosa, Paradise, Violet, Red, Blue, and Black.

How is it?

Well, I know people are going to disagree with me about this because I’ve had folks tell me that this is one of their favorite Monster Ultra varieties. It’s good, but not great because I wish the pineapple flavor was stronger.

Monster Energy Ultra Gold Closeup

The perfect example of the pineapple potency I wish Ultra Gold had is Pepsi Pineapple. It tastes like I climbed a pineapple tree with a tall glass of Pepsi, grabbed a fruit, sliced off its skin, and squeezed its flesh so that its juice flavored the cola.

I know some of you are going to say I’m completely wrong about the level of pineapple in this energy drink, much like many of you are going to say I’m completely wrong about pineapples growing on trees. But I can taste how it might be just right for others.

(Side note: I find it funny that pines are a type of tree and apples grow on trees, but pineapples grow on short plants.)

Anything else you need to know?

I know it’s just a color, but the Monster Energy Ultra Gold Energy Drink can is a pleasure to stare at. It’s a gorgeous gold. Also, when I look at it, I imagine it’s the result of C-3PO getting recycled.

Conclusion:

Monster Energy Ultra Gold smells divine, but its fruity flavor is too light to my liking. With that said, it’s still a tasty way to get 150 milligrams of caffeine into my bloodstream, and it’s good enough that I would repurchase it.

Purchased Price: More than one should pay on eBay
Size: 16 fl oz can
Purchased at: eBay
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 can) 10 calories, 0 grams of fat, 200 milligrams of sodium, 5 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of sugar, 2 grams of erythritol, 0 grams of protein, and 150 milligrams of caffeine.

REVIEW: Monster Papillon and Khaotic Energy Juices

Monster Papillon and Khaotic Energy Juices Cans

Much like the other Monster Juice line varieties, the artwork on the new Monster Papillon and Khaotic cans are striking. Both have a common theme — LSD hallucinations, I mean, butterflies.

Khaotic features light use of butterflies, while Papillon (French for butterfly) has large ones in its design. I also thought about putting a line or two about the butterfly effect here, but my brain shut down while attempting to comprehend its Wikipedia. Or I might’ve fallen asleep. I should’ve chugged one of these energy juices while reading it. The 160 milligrams of caffeine in each can might’ve helped.

Khaotic is a reformulation of the original Monster Energy Juice flavor, Khaos. According to the can, the flavor was lightened up, and the juice blend was adjusted. While Khaos has 30% juice, this has just 10%. According to its can, Papillon has a light, subtle flavor with hints of peach and nectarine, and it contains 5% juice.

Monster Papillon and Khaotic Energy Juices Glasses

As you can see in the photo above, both are orange, which might make you wonder whether the poured out beverages are sitting next to their appropriate cans. Is the lighter orange Papillon or Khaotic? Is the darker orange one Khaotic or Papillon? Am I messing with you, and the photo is actually correct? I guess you’ll have to purchase both to find out.

And if you do buy both, neither will disappoint because they’re tasty.

While Papillon’s can mentions peach and nectarine, the ingredients list specifies apple, peach, pear, and pineapple juice concentrates, along with mango and banana purees. Its aroma doesn’t quite smell like peach to me. Instead, my nose detects passion fruit. The flavor is peach-heavy, but at the backend I taste passion fruit, which is odd since the fruit isn’t mentioned on the can. Maybe the tropical ingredients listed give it that flavor.

It’s been a while since I had Khaos, but I remember not being impressed with it. But Khaotic is mighty refreshing, and it sure doesn’t taste like it has less juice. Much like Papillon, it contains a chaotic list of juice concentrates — apple, orange, peach, tangerine, pineapple, and white grape. All those fruits give it a tropical-like flavor, with pineapple and citrus standing out the most. It’s a great flavor, and I like it a tad more than Papillon.

Overall, both are great tasting additions to the Monster Juice line. While I don’t think they overtake my favorites, Pacific Punch and Pipeline Punch, I see myself buying either to mix it up every so often.

Purchased Price: More than I should on eBay
Size: 16 fl oz cans
Purchased at: eBay
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Papillon), 8 out of 10 (Khaotic)
Nutrition Facts: (1 can) Papillon – 200 calories, 0 grams of fat, 190 milligrams of sodium, 50 grams of carbohydrates, 48 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of protein. Khaotic – 160 calories, 0 grams of fat, 115 milligrams of sodium, 41 grams of carbohydrates, 37 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Monster Energy Ultra Watermelon

Monster Energy Ultra Watermelon Can

Monster Energy Ultra Watermelon confuses me.

With fireworks on the can and it being watermelon flavored, which is known as a summer flavor, it’s odd to be drinking this in mid-October instead of on the fourth day of July. It’s like eating pumpkin spice products in June.

Some of you might be thinking this was released in the summer, but it wasn’t. It’s showing up now, in October.

Although, maybe Monster is trying to be sly here. The fireworks aren’t for Independence Day. Instead, they’re for New Year’s Eve. And watermelon was chosen because of the fruit’s colors, not because of its flavor. Because red and green, which are prominent on the can, are two of the primary Christmas colors.

Or maybe Monster Energy is trying once again to outdo its competitor, Red Bull, by releasing its watermelon flavor earlier than Red Bull did. You see, this year, Red Bull’s Summer Edition Watermelon rolled into stores in February, which, according to a calendar, was still winter. Which means there was still spring to go through before summer rolled around. By releasing this in October, it means we have to go through THREE seasons before we get to next summer.

Or maybe Monster was supposed to release it during summer but decided not to for some reason.

Anyhoo, Monster Energy Ultra Watermelon is the next Ultra flavor in the Ultra line, which is getting ultra long.

Monster Energy Ultra Watermelon Closeup

When I sniff the beverage, it smells like I’ve just added hot water to strawberry Jell-O gelatin mix. Its flavor, well, I really hate to use this comparison because it’s the most commonly used one when describing artificially flavored watermelon beverages, reminds me of a Jolly Rancher Watermelon hard candy. But, I also occasionally notice a bit of artificial strawberry in the aftertaste.

I haven’t tried the Red Bull I mentioned earlier, so I can’t compare it. But this energy drink is super tasty and has a pleasant level of sourness. Although, I wish it was a bit more unique than something I’ve experienced with many other watermelon products. I’m no food scientist, but maybe it’s hard to deviate from the ingredients used to create the fruity flavor.

Like the entire Ultra line, it’s a zero sugar energy drink. Also, the artificial sweeteners aren’t really noticeable to my taste buds when it’s chilled.

Overall, Monster Energy Ultra Watermelon with its 150 milligrams of caffeine is another excellent variety in the Ultra line. And I can totally see myself drinking another on a warm fall, winter, spring, or summer day.

Purchased Price: More than anyone should pay
Size: 16 fl oz can
Purchased at: eBay
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 can) 10 calories, 0 grams of fat, 180 milligrams of sodium, 6 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of sugar, 2 grams of erythritol, and 0 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Monster Hydro Super Sport

Monster Hydro Super Sport

What is Monster Hydro Super Sport?

It’s a spinoff of Monster’s Hydro sports drink line. There are two varieties available — Blue Streak and Red Dawg. Like all sports drinks, they have electrolytes, but these also contain 200 milligrams of sweet, sweet caffeine and 1000 milligrams of BCAAs, which could be what makes them “super.”

We all know what caffeine is, but if you don’t know what branched-chained amino acids are (Full Disclosure: I had to look up the acronym BCAA, which I thought was British Colombia Athletic Association), then here’s a Wikipedia link, so I don’t have to drop some science on you.

How is it?

I usually post photos of the beverages in a container that inappropriate, like a soda in a brandy snifter, but this time I didn’t because I drank it all straight from the bottles before I got a chance to take any pictures. But if you want a visual of it in your mind, think of a Louie-Bloo Raspberry Otter Pop for Blue Streak and any fruit punch you can think of for Red Dawg. As for how they taste, you can also think of a Louie-Bloo Raspberry Otter Pop for Blue Streak and a red Popsicle for Red Dawg.

It’s funny that these sports drinks for super intense workouts taste like children’s frozen pops. Maybe Monster Hydro Super Sport is going for nostalgia?

Anything else you need to know?

I like the flavors of Monster Hydro Super Sport, but I love their size. For about the same price, I can get a regular canned Monster Energy Drink that comes in 16-ounce cans or these that come in 25.4-ounce bottles, which I can sip from a little bit longer than canned Monster Energy Drinks.

Conclusion:

Monster Hydro Super Sport Blue Streak and Red Dawg are great tasting addition to the Monster Hydro line.

Purchased Price: $3.99
Size: 24.5 ounce bottles
Purchased at: 7-Eleven
Rating: 7 out of 10 (both)
Nutrition Facts: (12 fl oz) Blue Streak – 35 calories, 0 grams of fat, 200 milligrams of sodium, 11 grams of carbohydrates, 7 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of protein. Red Dawg – 35 calories, 0 grams of fat, 200 milligrams of sodium, 9 grams of carbohydrates, 7 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Java Monster 300 Triple Shot

Java Monster Triple Shot

I present to you a Java Monster Triple Shot Energy Coffee review with a number of words that equals the number of milligrams of caffeine each can has —- 300.

(Yes, including these words and those above. So it’s really 258 words below.)

Monster Energy might be trolling Starbucks with this new coffee drink line because, if not for a tap of the space bar, it would’ve been a trademark violation. You see, Starbucks, last year, came out with an energy coffee line called Tripleshot, which is a followup to the brand’s Doubleshot line.

Java Monster Triple Shot features, you guessed it by looking at the large numbers on the labels and reading the first paragraph above, 300 milligrams of caffeine per can, and it comes in two flavors — French Vanilla and Mocha. Starbucks’ Tripleshot has a not round number of 225 milligrams of the stimulant, but is currently available in five flavors.

Java Monster Triple Shot French Vanilla
Java Monster Triple Shot French Vanilla

While Java Monster Triple Shot can pump a Spartans army at the Battle of Thermopylae’s worth of caffeine into your bloodstream, I feel that’s the only noteworthy thing it has.

Both varieties smell, look, and taste similar to their regular Java Monster counterparts, but it seems as if some flavor was sacrificed in order to get to 300 milligrams of caffeine. To me, they’re slightly less flavorful than any regular Java Monster, especially the French Vanilla variety. Yes, I shook them.

Java Monster Triple Shot Mocha
Java Monster Triple Shot Mocha

With that said, Jave Monster Triple Shot drinks are perfectly fine coffee beverages if you want or need a whole lot of caffeine in 15 ounces. But if you don’t need to pump your bloodstream with that much, I’d recommend sticking with the regular Java Monster line, which has 188 milligrams per can. Or you could purchase a can of Starbucks’ Triple-no-space-shot.

300 words.

Purchased Price: More than anyone should pay on eBay
Size: 15 oz. cans
Purchased at: eBay
Rating: 7 out of 10 (both flavors)
Nutrition Facts: (1 can) French Vanilla – 200 calories, 3.5 grams of fat, 2.5 grams of saturated fat, 10 milligrams of cholesterol, 210 milligrams of sodium, 34 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 32 grams of sugar, and 7 grams of protein. Mocha – 200 calories, 3.5 grams of fat, 2.5 grams of saturated fat, 10 milligrams of cholesterol, 220 milligrams of sodium, 35 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 32 grams of sugar, and 7 grams of protein.