Ladies and gentlemen (but mostly ladies) meet FLRT, a new line of energy drinks from Monster Energy. The 12-ounce cans come in four different flavors and contain 200 milligrams of caffeine.

Before we go any further, let’s discuss the elephant in the room, or in this case the goofy flower that looks like I could’ve drawn it with the marker tool on my iPhone: these drinks are marketed towards women. Presumably designed to compete with beverages like Alani Nu, FLRT is more heavy handed in its attempt to court the female crowd. I think of energy drinks as being fairly gender neutral and I can’t quite understand exactly what FLRT is going for. I think the colorful cans are supposed to appear “youthful” but they look to me like something that would have been marketed to a preteen girl in the 90’s.

Alongside the usual energy drink claims of increased energy and focus, FLRT helps with collagen production, supports healthy hair and skin, and accelerates metabolism and burns fat. An asterisk after this last one points out that it only helps with metabolism and fat burning when combined with exercise and a healthy diet so don’t expect weight loss results unless you chug these before you go jogging or really aggressively flirting. The branding and purported health benefits don’t do much for me but they could still taste amazing so let’s get to drinking!

Strawberry Fling

First in the cutesy titled lineup is Strawberry Fling. Pouring it into a glass reveals a light carbonation and pale pink hue. Expecting this to be my least favorite, I was pleasantly surprised to find it pretty enjoyable. It has a clean strawberry flavor that doesn’t ever strike me as medicinal. It’s sweet but not too sweet, with a hint of tartness and I’m not bothered by any lingering aftertastes that zero sugar drinks can have. I would happily drink this if it was given to me but it’s nowhere near as good as my favorite energy drink that features a strawberry flavor, Red Bull Amber. Amber blows Strawberry Fling out of the water, so I can’t see myself ever purchasing this.

Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 10 calories, 0 grams of total fat, 280 milligrams of sodium, 5 grams of total carbs, 0 grams of total sugar, 2 grams of erythritol, 0 grams of protein, and 200 milligrams of caffeine

Guava Lava

In the green can is Guava Lava, with a peachy pink tint and the same gentle fizz. It also has a clean guava flavor that doesn’t seem to be mixed with anything else. It’s sweet without being overwhelmingly so, with a bit of tang and a nice tropical vibe. It goes down easy and as a guava fan living in a non-tropical climate, I’ll gladly sip on this and be reminded of a unique and delicious fruit that sadly never appears at my grocery stores.

Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 10 calories, 0 grams of total fat, 270 milligrams of sodium, 5 grams of total carbs, 0 grams of total sugar, 2 grams of erythritol, 0 grams of protein, and 200 milligrams of caffeine.

Berry Tempting

Next we have Berry Tempting, with a ruby color and a good, if not particularly unique, mixed berry flavor. What I think is a blend of raspberry and blueberry, this flavor is fine but it’s more noticeable in the overall taste and aftertaste that I’m drinking a zero sugar energy beverage. It feels familiar, like a worse version of other berry energy drinks I’ve had. I don’t dislike it, but I’m not tempted to get another one.

Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts:10 calories, 0 grams of total fat, 280 milligrams of sodium, 5 grams of total carbs, 0 grams of total sugar, 2 grams of erythritol, 0 grams of protein, and 200 milligrams of caffeine.

Sunset Squeeze

Lastly is Sunset Squeeze, with a color like a clear/white gummy bear and a tropical scent. This flavor, like the gummies it reminds me of, leans heavily into a sweet pineapple taste with the addition of some citrusy notes. It brings those beachy feelings but suffers from the same issue as some of the above: I notice the aftertaste more than I’d like to and it seems like familiar territory done a little less well.

Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 10 calories, 0 grams of total fat, 270 milligrams of sodium, 4 grams of total carbs, 0 grams of total sugar, 2 grams of erythritol, 0 grams of protein, and 200 milligrams of caffeine.

Overall these FLRT drinks are largely inoffensive from a flavor standpoint but they’re not exactly inspiring either. I enjoyed most of them enough that I could see where there might be a place for them, but I don’t think it’ll be in my fridge. I might pick up Guava Lava again if I was in need of a guava fix but the rest aren’t good enough to replace any of my usual energy drink go-to’s. I get the feeling that they’re trying a little too hard to be girly and not trying hard enough at being creative. If I were Monster Beverage, I’d flirt with the idea of going back to the drawing board.

Purchased Price: On sale, 2 for $5.00
Size: 12 fl oz cans
Purchased at: Jewel-Osco

After many, many varieties over the past decade, Monster’s Ultra line finally has a fruit punch flavor with its Punk Punch Energy Drink. Yes, it took a while, but it finally happened. I guess it’s appropriate because being late can be considered “punk.” It comes in a purple can with a darker purple top, which are two hues that would look great on a punk rocker’s mohawk.

According to the Monster Energy website: “Fruit punch with that punk rock edge. Ultra Punk Punch is loud, juicy, and zero sugar—amped-up energy for those who break the rules and make their own.”

I guess fruit punch with 150 milligrams of caffeine could be considered having a “punk rock edge.” But if that’s the case, Punk Punch would be the third fruit punch-flavored Monster Energy Drink with a punk rock edge. Let’s not forget the delicious and alliteratively named Pacific Punch and Pipeline Punch Energy Juices, which are some of my favorite Monster products of all time.

Much like finding out a punk song was built on three chords, it’s not surprising to see Monster offer another fruit punch-flavored energy drink. It seems like this year the company has been revisiting flavors from other lines, like the Monster Juice Voodoo Grape launching when Monster Ultra Violet, also grape-flavored, has been available for years.

With that said, I can’t help but think this is a zero sugar, juice-less version of the previously mentioned Monster Juice Pacific Punch. Both share a taste profile similar to most fruit punch drinks, although this new punch variation has a nice, mild sour finish. Yes, it’s a familiar flavor, but a classic one.

But while Pacific Punch can get a bit too sweet because of the sugar and juice, Punk Punch is easier to drink, at least for me. Maybe it’s because my taste buds are so used to Monster Ultra’s sweetness.

I enjoyed Monster Ultra Punk Punch so much that I see it becoming one of my regular go-to Ultra flavors, which include Ultra White and Ultra Violet.

Purchased Price: $3.50
Size: 16 fl oz can
Purchased at: Times Supermarket
Rating: 9 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 10 calories, 0 grams of fat, 370 milligrams of sodium, 5 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of sugar, 5 grams of erythritol, 0 grams of protein, and 150 milligrams of caffeine.