REVIEW: Java Monster Triple Shot

Java Monster Triple Shot

I present to you a Java Monster Triple Shot Energy Coffee review with a number of words that equals the number of milligrams of caffeine each can has —- 300.

(Yes, including these words and those above. So it’s really 258 words below.)

Monster Energy might be trolling Starbucks with this new coffee drink line because, if not for a tap of the space bar, it would’ve been a trademark violation. You see, Starbucks, last year, came out with an energy coffee line called Tripleshot, which is a followup to the brand’s Doubleshot line.

Java Monster Triple Shot features, you guessed it by looking at the large numbers on the labels and reading the first paragraph above, 300 milligrams of caffeine per can, and it comes in two flavors — French Vanilla and Mocha. Starbucks’ Tripleshot has a not round number of 225 milligrams of the stimulant, but is currently available in five flavors.

Java Monster Triple Shot French Vanilla
Java Monster Triple Shot French Vanilla

While Java Monster Triple Shot can pump a Spartans army at the Battle of Thermopylae’s worth of caffeine into your bloodstream, I feel that’s the only noteworthy thing it has.

Both varieties smell, look, and taste similar to their regular Java Monster counterparts, but it seems as if some flavor was sacrificed in order to get to 300 milligrams of caffeine. To me, they’re slightly less flavorful than any regular Java Monster, especially the French Vanilla variety. Yes, I shook them.

Java Monster Triple Shot Mocha
Java Monster Triple Shot Mocha

With that said, Jave Monster Triple Shot drinks are perfectly fine coffee beverages if you want or need a whole lot of caffeine in 15 ounces. But if you don’t need to pump your bloodstream with that much, I’d recommend sticking with the regular Java Monster line, which has 188 milligrams per can. Or you could purchase a can of Starbucks’ Triple-no-space-shot.

300 words.

Purchased Price: More than anyone should pay on eBay
Size: 15 oz. cans
Purchased at: eBay
Rating: 7 out of 10 (both flavors)
Nutrition Facts: (1 can) French Vanilla – 200 calories, 3.5 grams of fat, 2.5 grams of saturated fat, 10 milligrams of cholesterol, 210 milligrams of sodium, 34 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 32 grams of sugar, and 7 grams of protein. Mocha – 200 calories, 3.5 grams of fat, 2.5 grams of saturated fat, 10 milligrams of cholesterol, 220 milligrams of sodium, 35 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 32 grams of sugar, and 7 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Monster Energy Ultrá Rosa and Ultra Fiesta

Monster Energy Ultra Fiesta and Ultra Rosa

What are Monster Ultra Rosá and Ultra Fiesta?

The Monster Ultra stork has delivered two new arrivals to the energy drink’s zero sugar family in the form of Ultra Rosá and Ultra Fiesta.

How are they?

Monster Energy Ultra Rosa

Let’s start with Ultra Rosá, the more mysterious of the two. Let me explain the mystery. The color reminded me of cotton candy, and after about 10 attempts the best — and admittedly useless — description of the smell I could come up with is “fruity.” The can is also of little help, saying, in part, “Ultra Rosá is not what you think. Forget about pink lemonade, blush wine, guavas and strawberries.”

So what flavor is it? I truly have no idea, although if I had to pick one I’d say pink lemonade, despite the advice of the can. Although my description might be wholly inadequate, I can report that it’s an excellent flavor — not too strong, not too sweet, not too fruity. I celebrate the entire catalog of Monster Ultra flavors, and this just might be my favorite yet. It sort of tastes like summer, and summer is good.

Monster Energy Ultra Fiesta

While Ultra Rosá can is vague as far as the flavor, the vessel housing 16 ounces of Ultra Fiesta flat out tells you it’s mango. And when you open the can, there is no doubt, as the mango aroma is quite powerful.

The actual flavor, however, is a bit more subdued. Yes, there is a hint of mango in there, but overall I found it to be more of a general citrus flavor, perhaps with a bit of pineapple and orange. It almost reminded me of Mountain Dew with more of a citrus kick. Like the Ultra Rosá flavor, this one also gets a thumbs up from me.

Is there anything else you need to know?

Remember in grade school when someone at the lunch table mixed mustard, Goldfish crackers, part of a chicken nugget and some apple sauce together and dared someone else to eat it? Well, I was the one who tried those nasty concoctions, assuming of course that some kind of monetary reward was involved. So it was only natural for me to mix these two flavors together.

Monster Energy Ultra Mixa

The resulting color could best be described as dishwater, and it only tasted slightly better (please don’t ask how I know). For those of you that are of legal drinking age, I think either of these flavors would make excellent mixers, but mixing them together is not recommended.

Conclusion:

Monster Energy Ultra Fiesta Design

I’ve always liked the textured feel of Monster Ultra cans, as it gives me a warm feeling inside knowing that a surge of 150 milligrams caffeine will soon be flowing through my veins. I’ve never paid much attention to the design on the can, but the imagery on the Fiesta can is particularly eye-catching with it Día de Muertos (Day of the Dead) theme. That all has nothing to do with the taste, but these are both excellent additions to the Monster Ultra lineup.

Purchased Price: $2.29 each
Size: 16 fl. oz.
Purchased at: 7-Eleven
Rating: 9 out of 10 (Rosá) 8 out of 10 (Fiesta)
Nutrition Facts: (1 can) 10 calories, 0 grams of fat, 370 (Fiesta) 380 (Rosa) milligrams of sodium, 6 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of sugar and 150 milligrams of caffeine.

REVIEW: Reign Inferno Thermogenic Fuel by Monster Energy

Reign Inferno Thermogenic Fuel

What is Reign Inferno Thermogenic Fuel?

The new Reign line of energy drinks has a brand extension that promises an even more Xtreme performance boost than its standard offering. Fortified with Branch-Chained Amino Acids, Citrulline, and 300 milligrams of caffeine, Reign Inferno Thermogenic Fuel makes some big promises, like burning calories and accelerating metabolism. After tasting all three flavors (Red Dragon, True Blu, and Jalapeno Strawberry), I fully expect my mortal frame to combust spontaneously, unable to contain the energies contained therein.

How is it?

Red Dragon

Reign Inferno Thermogenic Fuel Red Dragon

I didn’t expect their colors to be clear. Reign has seemingly decided to target the consumer who desires to unleash the beast within via scientifically formulated supplementation, but is also very concerned about artificial colors. The flavor tastes of generic red fruit. Strawberry? Cherry? Fruit Punch? Who knows? It tastes red.

True Blu

Reign Inferno Thermogenic Fuel True Blu

I went into this thinking True Blu would be a blue raspberry flavored, but instead, it tastes like a classic energy drink, very similar to Red Bull. The citric acid adds a puckering tang that always reminds me of Sour Patch Kids gummies. This one will please those who are looking that the classic energy drink kick, but it doesn’t offer something unique.

Jalapeno Strawberry

Reign Inferno Thermogenic Fuel Jalapeno Strawberry

My midwestern taste buds were suspicious of this one going in. Spicy strawberries? What’s next, chili-infused chocolate? Oh wait, that exists. The scent is unexpectedly pungent, and actually caused some nasal irritation, like when you smell horseradish. Conversely, the flavor is quite smooth and pleasant. The sweet berry flavor plays very well with the jalapeno. There’s a very slight spiciness at the end that doesn’t linger.

Is there anything else you need to know?

The True Blu’s flavor transported me back to middle school in the ’90s, when I first tasted Red Bull. It was perhaps the boldest thing I’d ever done in my life to that point (maybe still?).

You have to understand that the ’90s were a different time. The Simpsons was the most audacious, boundary-pushing thing on TV. There wasn’t the internet as we know it, only vague rumors of a kid the next town over who took a sip of Red Bull and then his heart exploded on the spot. I survived the 80 milligrams of caffeine found in an 8-ounce can of Red Bull. In comparison, Reign Inferno contains 300 milligrams per serving, which is only a portion of my daily caffeine intake. We’ve come a long way, baby.

Conclusion:

Other than their high caffeine content, Red Dragon and True Blu don’t offer anything new. Their flavors will be familiar to energy drink aficionados. Jalapeno Strawberry was a surprise and provided a pleasant flavor combination.

Purchased Price: $1.99
Size: 16 FL OZ.
Purchased at: Woodman’s Market
Rating: 5 out of 10 (Red Dragon), 5 out of 10 (True Blu), 8 out of 10 (Jalapeno Strawberry)

Nutrition Facts: (1 can) Jalapeno Strawberry and True Blu – 10 calories, 0 grams of fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 220 milligrams of sodium, 3 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 0 grams of sugar, 0 gram of protein, 2% Potassium, 120% Vitamin B6, 130% Niacin (Vitamin B3), and 250% Vitamin B12. Red Dragon – 10 calories, 0 grams of fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 200 milligrams of sodium, 3 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 0 grams of sugar, 0 gram of protein, 2% Potassium, 120% Vitamin B6, 130% Niacin (Vitamin B3), and 250% Vitamin B12.

REVIEW: Java Monster Oatmilk Farmer’s Oats

Java Monster Oatmilk Farmer s Oats

What is Java Monster Oatmilk Farmer’s Oats?

A new vegan-friendly Monster Java flavor using one of 2019’s trendiest beverages – oatmilk.

How is it?

I always avoid reading opinions about products I’m about to review, but I happened to stumble on a few super negative tweets that shocked me because I liked this just fine.

Upon cracking the can, I was met with a heartwarming smell that reminded me of Italian coffee hard candies my Grandmother used to eat, so maybe nostalgia blinded my opinion a little? (BTW, if that isn’t a perfect “Grandma Candy,” I don’t know what is.)

Java Monster Oatmilk Farmer s Oats Glass

The flavor wasn’t too far off from the other Monster coffees I’ve tried and enjoyed. I thought it was sweetened to perfection. The taste was faintly caramel with a little cinnamon – neither of which show up in the ingredients, but that’s what I got.

There’s a Rockstar Horchata flavor that it reminded me of a bit.

Is there anything else you need to know?

This may not sound like a ringing endorsement, but it was way thinner than I expected. The oatmilk I’ve tried had a pleasant viscosity to it, like a thicker almond milk, with a slightly stranger taste that really works.

That goes by the wayside here.

Java Monster Oatmilk Farmer s Oats Closeup

It kinda tasted like an iced coffee that sat around too long and got watered down, but still somehow held the initial flavor.

I got a faint taste of oatmilk, though, and I thought the finish was really nice. There was a non-cloying coating and aftertaste that reminded me of the flavor I get after demolishing a bowl of coffee ice cream.

Java Monster Oatmilk Farmer s Oats Artwork

Oh, and I did get a quick little boost of energy about 10 minutes after the last sip. It was short-lived, but that’s always the case for me and “energy” drinks. It’s not replacing my two morning cups of coffee in that department.

Conclusion:

Java Monster Oatmilk Farmer s Oats Copy

Ignoring the cliché Vegan joke on the can – “Haha, Vegans always be talkin’ bout how they Vegan!” – I’m a fan, and probably a repeat buyer. It may not be the best Java Monster flavor, but it’s still a worthy addition to the team.

Maybe those tweets are right and I’m nuts, but this is worth a shot, and I will definitely be trying oatmilk in my coffee soon.

Purchased Price: $2.14
Size: 15 fl. oz.
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (15 fl oz) 150 calories, 4 grams of fat, .5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 480 milligrams of sodium, 31 grams of total carbohydrates, 5 gram of dietary fiber, 25 grams of total sugars, and 2 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Reign Total Body Fuel by Monster Energy

In the world of performance energy drinks, there’s one leader — Bang. In the world of energy drinks, there is one leader — I don’t know who that is and I’m too lazy to look it up. If only there were drinks I could consume to give me some energy to do so.

It could be Red Bull. It could be Monster. Maybe Rockstar. Maybe Cocaine Energy Drink? But Monster is one of the heavy hitters in the energy drink universe.

So what are “performance energy drinks”? From what I can gather, they’re made for athletes to give them big boosts of energy that allow them to do things at a higher level. In order to do that, they have 300 milligrams of caffeine per can and contain supplements like coenzyme Q10 and branched-chain-amino acids.

While Bang is in the lead, Monster hopes to gain market share with its new Reign Total Body Fuel line. Yes, it’s not Monster Total Body Fuel, because who wants to use a well-recognized trademark over a name that sounds like a mobile game with lots of in-app purchases.

So Monster could have dipped its toes in the category, but it decided to make a splash by offering SIX flavors of Reign — Carnival Candy, Melon Mania, Lemon HDZ, Peach Fizz, Sour Apple, and Razzle Berry. They all have 300 milligrams of caffeine, 0 grams of sugar, 0 calories, no artificial colors (yes, they’re all clear), and no artificial flavors.

Carnival Candy

Reign Total Body Fuel Carnival Candy

When I took the first sip, I got a lot of cotton candy flavor, but that went away with the sips right after. Those had more of a general sweetness. There’s a little cotton candy in the aftertaste, but I want it whenever I’m drinking it because when it’s there, it’s quite lovely.

Now if you let your taste buds reset and not sip on it for a while, the cotton candy flavor will return briefly for that one sip and then go back to not tasting like the carnival treat. I have to say this was the one variety I was most looking forward to and it ended up being a little disappointing.

Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (8 ounces) 0 calories, 0 grams of fat, 100 milligrams of sodium, 35 milligrams of potassium, 1 gram of carbohydrates, 0 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of protein.

Sour Apple

Reign Total Body Fuel Sour Apple

This flavor has the same issue that Carnival Candy has. The first sip tastes like sour apple, but subsequent sips lose most of the apple flavoring, leaving a sweet and tart taste. But, again, let your taste buds rest a little, and the full fruity and sourness comes back for one sip. The sour apple flavor is good, but I wish it’s around for every sip.

Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (8 ounces) 0 calories, 0 grams of fat, 100 milligrams of sodium, 35 milligrams of potassium, 1 gram of carbohydrates, 0 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of protein.

Melon Mania

Reign Total Body Fuel Melon Mania

I was hoping this would be flavored like either a cantaloupe or honeydew melon because the world needs more of those, but the can’s color scheme makes it obvious it’s going to be watermelon. If you’re expecting it to taste similar to a Jolly Rancher hard candy, it’s not like that says my taste buds who are currently enjoying a watermelon Jolly Rancher because we just so happen to have some in our house. It’s better tasting than that. It’s like an enhanced version of watermelon flavoring.

Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (8 ounces) 0 calories, 0 grams of fat, 100 milligrams of sodium, 35 milligrams of potassium, 1 gram of carbohydrates, 0 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of protein.

Lemon HDZ

Reign Total Body Fuel Lemon HDZ

Because I’m uncool, I wasn’t sure what HDZ was, but I asked our Twitter followers, and they came up with the obvious answer — Heads. (Full disclosure: I thought it was Hards.) I thought this one would be like a lemonade, but it’s not quite that because there isn’t a noticeable sourness to it. I want to say lemon meringue because there’s something else to the flavor that I can’t quite put my finger on. Despite not knowing what it exactly tastes like, I enjoyed it.

Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (8 ounces) 0 calories, 0 grams of fat, 100 milligrams of sodium, 35 milligrams of potassium, 1 gram of carbohydrates, 0 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of protein.

Peach Fizz

Reign Total Body Fuel Peach Fizz

If you enjoy peach-flavored gummies, then you’ll like this. It’s not overly flowery tasting like some peach products are. Its flavor reminded me of the Red Bull Peach Edition I had recently. Peach Fizz is my favorite of the bunch, but not by a lot over Melon Mania.

Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (8 ounces) 0 calories, 0 grams of fat, 100 milligrams of sodium, 35 milligrams of potassium, 1 gram of carbohydrates, 0 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of protein.

Razzle Berry

Reign Total Body Fuel Razzle Berry

This one tastes similar to other blue raspberry-flavored beverages I’ve had in that it’s fruity and slightly sour. It also reminds me of Carnival Candy, so some of the same natural flavors might’ve been used. Fortunately, unlike Carnival Candy, Razzle Berry’s flavor doesn’t fade with the second sip. As someone who enjoys Louie-Bloo Raspberry Otter Pops, it’s not surprising I liked the taste of this.

Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (8 ounces) 0 calories, 0 grams of fat, 100 milligrams of sodium, 35 milligrams of potassium, 1 gram of carbohydrates, 0 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of protein.

Even with the issues I experienced with some of the flavors, I have to say these were surprisingly good for drinks with zero sugar and calories. As someone who has consumed a lot of beverages sweetened with sucralose and ace-K, I could tell they have no sugar, but the flavors do great at hiding that fact.

Some of you might be wondering how these help with performance. I did not test that because the most laborious physical activity I do is an exercise called finger push-downs, which is otherwise known as typing.

Purchased Price: $2.99 each
Size: 16 fl. oz. cans
Purchased at: Target

REVIEW: Monster Energy Ultra Paradise

Monster Energy Ultra Paradise

What is Monster Energy Ultra Paradise?

Monster Energy just released “Paradise” as the newest addition to its sugar-free Ultra line of energy drinks. According to the back of the can, Monster Ultra Paradise delivers “Pure, Crisp, Invigorating Island Flavors.” The question is, what exactly is an island flavor?

Monster Energy Ultra Paradise 2

How is it?

I’m a frequent consumer of Monster Ultra, so I know the flavors can be difficult to place. Sure, Ultra Red kind of tastes like fruit punch, and Ultra Sunrise tastes vaguely orangish, but what flavor is Ultra Blue? Ultra Zero? Ultra Paradise at least gives us a hint that it’ll be tropically flavored.

Monster Energy Ultra Paradise 3

Upon opening, Ultra Paradise is a hazy light green color. The island flavor is… nondescript. Pineapple, maybe? Or maybe Pina Colada? Is the green color supposed to be a hint? It’s definitely tropical, but I still have no idea what that means exactly. You could tell me it was passion fruit flavored, and I’d believe you. (Full disclosure: those weird purple Starburst are the complete extent of my experience with passion fruit.)

Is there anything else you need to know?

Some varieties of Monster Ultra can be too sweet for my tastes, so I appreciate this one keeps it more subdued. It allows the citric acid tang to add a bit of a kick, which is appreciated when I’m looking for a pick-me-up.

Conclusion:

When imbibing a caffeinated beverage, I’m mostly interested in its pharmacological effect. Most of the time that means coffee, but if I’m at a convenience store of questionable quality, with a pot of coffee that’s been there longer than the clerk, I may reach for an energy drink instead. Monster always gets the job done with 140 milligrams of caffeine, and Paradise fits in well with the rest of the Ultra options.

Purchased Price: $2.00
Size: 16 fl. oz. can
Purchased at: Festival Foods
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 0 calories, 0 grams of fat, 160 milligrams of sodium, 1 gram of carbohydrates, 0 grams of sugar, and 0 gram of protein, 100% Niacin, 100% Vitamin B6, 100%, Vitamin B12, 100% Vitamin B5, and 140 mg of caffeine.

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