I once watched this movie… I don’t remember the exact name, but it was about a ring.

These two small dudes and a schizophrenic frog-man were climbing a mountain, and then they had to throw their wedding ring into a volcano or else some fire wizard would blow up New Zealand or something? I think it was a true story.

Anyway, until today, I thought THAT ring was the worst, most evil ring to ever exist. Then… I tried Snyder’s new Oktoberfest Rings infused with Beer Flavor, and now I’m not so sure.

I reviewed Snyder’s Beer Cheese Pieces in the past and loved them, so while I assumed these cheese-less pretzels wouldn’t stack up, I was still shocked how much I disliked these.

First of all, they’re barely pretzels. These are glorified bread sticks curved into a circle.

They went light on the salt crystals here, and I can only imagine it was in an attempt to let the beer flavor shine, but that “beer” flavor is as dull as dull can be. I’ll give them a tiny bit of credit because I did taste the essence of a sweet lager, or more likely an Oktoberfest-appropriate Marzin-style beer, but it quickly changes as you munch down on the pretzel.

All I could taste after that was, and this is oddly specific, black olive. These taste like someone soaked a breadstick in the water from a can of black olives and then let the breadstick air dry and crisp back up for a few hours. They’re not stale, but the flavor just has an air of staleness to it, like old bread.

I once had “healthy” pretzel twists. They were whole wheat, low sodium, and gluten free, and were one of the biggest buzzkill snacks I’ve ever had. I thought of them immediately while eating these.

I’ll be fair and say that while I sound like a hater, I did eat about 20 in one sitting. I craved something crunchy, but I never shook that weird hint of black olive. I kept thinking the next one would taste better, and it never did. I also never found the crunch all that satisfying.

Look, I love olives, and come to think of it, I’d probably really enjoy a full-blown olive-flavored crunchy snack, but this beer-infused flavor just really didn’t do it for me.

I might as well say I think rings might be the worst pretzel shape while I’m at it. Just give me the classic pretzel knot. I didn’t like a single aspect of these other than the bag with that classic blue Oktoberfest checkerboard pattern.

I wouldn’t even serve these to a frog-man. The shape of the pretzel almost represented my score. You’d be hard-pressed to find a worse bag of pretzels in the aisle. Snyder’s has rows of amazing pretzels, so just get one of them instead. This was a slip-up for the company, but I guess it tried.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m hitting up Google Maps to find the nearest volcano in my area.

Prost!

Purchased Price: $3.99
Size: 10 oz.
Purchased at: Shop Rite
Rating: 2 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1oz – 10 pretzels) 110 calories, 2 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 250 milligrams of sodium, 21 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, less than 1 gram of sugar, and 3 grams of protein.

What is it?

While certain corners of the internet were campaigning to “Release the Snyder Cut,” I was yelling at anyone who would listen to “Release the Snyder Pieces!”

Well, it appears someone at Snyder’s of Hanover heard my cry because it has dropped a new Beer Cheese flavor just in time to celebrate Oktoberfest.

Thank you, and you’re welcome.

How is it?

I’ve always been a fan of Snyder’s Pieces because there aren’t many flavored pretzels on the market. I used to snack on the brand’s wide array of flavors all the time, but that was before I lost my dental insurance and got extremely paranoid about chomping down on rock hard pretzel pieces.

It’d been a while since I’d carefully indulged, so when I heard about these, I figured it’d been long enough and decided to put my molars back at risk.

Guess what? They’re good. Obviously. Do I really need to sell you on cheese-flavored sourdough pretzel pieces?

The flavor here is basically cheddar with the hint of a sweet lager.

I was afraid these would be a bright orange, generic “cheese” tasting mess, but the flavor is more along the lines of a soft white cheddar. It lets the pretzel pieces breathe, making for a balanced flavor trio of cheese, “beer,” and the bready pretzel itself.

Anything else you need to know?

I find that the beer gets lost in some so-called “beer cheese” dips, so I was excited by how much it shined through. It made for a unique flavor blend you don’t often get in the snack aisle.

Also, I could be wrong, but the pieces seemed softer and not quite as treacherous as I remember. It’s also possible I was enjoying them so much that I stopped caring about my chompers.

Conclusion:

I think I kinda loved these, but I should warn you, they’re ridiculously salty. I mean, it’s a cheese-flavored pretzel, so that’s to be expected, right?

I’m not encouraging anyone to drink, but a nice Oktoberfest brew would counteract the salt pretty well. Just have one though, and be safe.

Prost!

Purchased Price: $3.59
Size: 10 oz
Purchased at: Wegmans
Rating: 9 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 oz) 140 calories, 7 grams of fat, 3 grams of saturated fat, 260 milligrams of sodium, 16 grams of total carbohydrates, 2 grams of total sugars, 1 gram of fiber, and 2 grams of protein.