REVIEW: Red Bull Cola

If Red Bull claims the original version of their product is supposed to gives you wings, I wonder what their Red Bull Cola is supposed to give you. I’ve consumed four cans and the only things they’ve given me was gas and the ability to burp the first six letters of the alphabet. I was hoping to get either a halo above my head, x-ray vision, or the patience to solve a Rubik’s Cube.

For years, there were only two types of Red Bull — original and sugar-free. But last year they decided to get a little kinky and introduced a cola version of their product. Besides probably being a good mixer, what’s interesting about Red Bull Cola is that it’s all-natural. It doesn’t contain artificial flavors, colors, and phosphoric acid like the mainstream colas — Coke and Pepsi.

If it doesn’t have artificial flavors, how does it get its flavor? It does it with an ingredients list that reads like the McCormick spices section at your local supermarket. Along with caramel, sugar, and lemon juice concentrate, Red Bull Cola also contains vanilla, mustard seed, lime, kola nut, cacao, licorice, cinnamon, lemon, ginger, coca leaf, orange, corn mint, pine, cardamom, mace, and clove.

Just like having sex for the first time, the first sip from the can is a little weird, but it gets better after that. Its flavor reminded me of a less sweet RC Cola with a bit of a citrus taste. It’s not bad, but I honestly prefer the taste of Coke or Pepsi, even with the high fructose corn syrup in them.

The most disappointing thing about Red Bull Cola was that it had only 45 milligrams of caffeine per can, which is more than Coke or Pepsi, but nowhere close to the 80 milligrams found in a regular Red Bull. If you’re a caffeine addict, you probably won’t notice the 45 milligrams, unless you count having a headache or becoming very cranky due to the lack of caffeine it provides as something noticeable.

If you’re not a regular caffeine consumer because you think your body is a temple and the caffeine might disrupt the inner peace of that temple, it will probably give you a nice boost to go along with the disruption of your temple. The coffee beans included in the beverage not only provided the caffeine, but they also seemed to be the source of some sediment in the Red Bull Cola, which I like to think of as the worm at the bottom of the tequila bottle.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 can – 130 calories, 0 grams of fat, 10 milligrams of sodium, 31 grams of carbohydrates, 31 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of protein.)

Item: Red Bull Cola
Price: $1.69
Size: 12 ounces
Purchased at: 7-Eleven
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Reminds me of RC Cola with a citrus twist. Easy to drink. Natural ingredients. No artificial flavors. Uses real sugar and not High Fructose Corn Syrup.
Cons: Sadly, I think Coke and Pepsi taste better. Not as much caffeine as regular Red Bull. Possible sediment from coffee beans. Might be hard to find.