Tag: Tostitos

QUICK REVIEW: Tostitos Fajita Scoops Tortilla Chips

Marvo 4 Comments

Tostitos Fajita Scoops

Purchased Price: $2.98
Size: 9 oz. bag
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Nice smoky aroma. Its garlicky, oniony, and peppery flavor reminds me of a canned chili (I can’t remember what brand). Most flavorful Tostitos I’ve ever had. Shape makes them great for dips. Red peppers in the chip. Some chips have a kick (thanks jalapeño). The Asian in me is excited about the soy sauce used to make them (I can kind of taste it, but it might be my mind thinking it’s there because I know it’s there).
Cons: Not all the chips in the bag have a kick to them. The flavor noticeably diminished as I ate more in one sitting. Being too cheap to buy dip. The exclamation point after Scoops. Shape makes them look like they would make good pasties, but rough corn chip texture would be tough on nipples.

Tostitos Fajita Scoops Closeup

Nutrition Facts: 1 oz/10 chips – 130 calories, 60 calories from fat, 7 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 130 milligrams of sodium, 17 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 0 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Tostitos Hint of Pepper Jack Tortilla Chips

Drew 10 Comments

Tostitos Hint of Pepper Jack

I am, at heart, a creature of habit. My wife is constantly irritated with me because she likes to experiment with cooking new foods, whereas I would happily spend the rest of my days eating the same five meals in rotation.  (Pizza, cheeseburgers, pasta, steaks, pancakes/waffles/French toast.  And grilled cheese.)  But honestly, once you find a formula that works, why would you want to mess with it?  I’ll take my Superman sans mullet or electrical powers, thank you.  So I’m always a little leery of the trend among snack food and soft drink manufacturers to be constantly rolling out new flavors.  If I probably won’t like them as much as the regular version and half of them won’t be around in a few months anyway, why bother?

And yet… I like pepper jack cheese.  And I really like Tostitos, for no particularly good reason I’ve ever been able to figure out.  I mean, they’re pretty much just salt and flour, right?  So watching me inhale a bowl of them during football season is basically the equivalent of watching a deer visiting a salt lick, except more pathetic because the deer doesn’t understand the concept of shame.  Nonetheless, as I told my wife, Tostitos were here when you showed up and they’ll still be around when you’re gone, so don’t try to come between us.  She understands.  It’s the same reason you don’t see me making her choose between me and wine, because there are no winners in that game.  Except wine.

The first thing you’ll notice when you open a bag of Hint of Pepper Jack Tostitos is the smell.  Regular Tostitos have an aroma that can best be described as “salt,” but the HoPJ’s definitely have more pop, a bolder scent that fits their in-your-face brand image.  It says that these chips have a statement to make and they don’t give a damn whether you like them or not.  That’s good; I like my snacks with some piss and hellfire to them.  I want chips that, if they were a movie, they’d be played by Samuel L. Jackson with a score by Isaac Hayes, and they’d call you a motherfucker a minimum of three times.  Why?  Because fuck you, that’s why.  Granted these aren’t habanero, but pepper jack often has some bite, so I was hoping the “hint” would turn out to be more of a belt.  I can take it, you sissies.

Tostitos Hint of Pepper Jack 2

Well, I have good news for those of you who read that last paragraph and thought, “Drew, you crazy” — while the chips definitely do taste of pepper jack, they aren’t going to be burning out your sinuses.  They’re eminently eatable for anyone, and that includes me; even if they aren’t overly powerful, they still taste good.  The Tostitos are more tangy than hot, and they have a slight cheese flavor, though not quite as much as I’d like.  My wife claims they taste quite a bit similar to ranch chips, for whatever that’s worth.  Personally I just liked them, though in moderation.  Like bacon-flavored beer, they’re a fun treat and a nice change of pace, but if you had to eat them every day you’d be jonesing for the regular variety before long.  If you’re feeling particularly mischievous, mix some HoPJs in with ordinary Tostitos at your next get-together and watch people’s faces.  Don’t do that with Hint of Lime Tostitos, though.  I once grabbed an innocuous-looking chip at a party and bit down, only to have to restrain myself from spitting it out because of all the people around.  First blood to you, lime chip.

Perhaps the most ringing endorsement I can offer is that after opening the bag, the Hint of Pepper Jack Tostitos lasted a total of 3 days in my house, whereas we still have 2 of chocolate creme Twinkies I reviewed last month left over.  That should tell you all you need to know.  From what I understand, the HoPJs are being treated as a permanent new flavor in the “Hint of” line, but you and I both know chips are only as permanent as there are consumers buying them.  So if you’re worried that these won’t have the mass appeal to stick it out, be sure to pick up a bag now.

(Nutrition Facts — 1 oz./about 6 chips — 140 calories, 60 calories from fat, 7 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 140 milligrams of sodium, 17 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of dietary fiber, 0 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.)

Item: Tostitos Hint of Pepper Jack Tortilla Chips
Price: $3.99
Size: One package
Purchased at: Acme
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Five foods is all you really need.  Intriguing smell.  Being played by Samuel MF’ing Jackson.  Edible by masochists and wimps alike.  Tastes good.  Mixing with regular Tostitos and watching the fun.  “Pepper Jack” would be a cool nickname when you’re old.
Cons: One step above a salt lick.  Mulleted Superman.  More of an occasional curiosity than a regular snack food.  Lime chips.  I fought the wine and the wine won.

REVIEW: Lay’s Dip Creations Garden Onion and Tostitos Dip Creations Freshly Made Guacamole Seasoning Mixes

Kelley 13 Comments

Lay's Dip Creations Garden Onion and Tostitos Dip Creations Freshly Made Guacamole Seasoning Mixes

Let’s get the dry (excuse the pun) part of Lay’s and Tostitos Dip Creations out of the way first: they are Dry Dip Mixes, or Seasoning Mixes, depending on if you’re reading the packet or Frito-Lay’s website. The packets say Seasoning Mixes, so I’ll go with that. For Lay’s Country Ranch and Garden Onion, you add the seasonings to 16 ounces of sour cream. For Tostitos Freshly Made Guacamole, you add them to three mashed up avocados.

Pretty straightforward. Now we’re all on the same page, right? Okay, good. Now we can get to the part where I overanalyze Frito-Lay’s marketing strategy and mock innocent bloggers.

Here’s the thing: Lay’s already sells ready-made Smooth Ranch and French Onion dips in jars. They are essentially competing with themselves; furthermore, they are competing with a product where all you have to do is twist a cap off. Tostitos surprisingly doesn’t already offer a jarred guacamole, but they’re putting their Dry Dip Mix up against products like Wholly Guacamole, which requires only that you snip the tip off a plastic bag and squeeze it into a bowl (or your mouth, you freak). It’s also made with real avocados and no preservatives.

So what’s the spin? What angle could Frito-Lay use to make Dip Creations appealing to the masses? To answer these questions, we need to go to F-L’s blog/transparently promotional tool, Snack Chat. Alexia, one of the resident bloggers, was put in charge of trying to convince me to buy Dip Creations, and this is how she did it:

“This year, I’m making a real commitment to improve my cooking skills. I’ve found some great products that are helping me with this goal, like pre-marinated chicken meat — the key to flavorful fajitas and salads. Another helpful product is one we just introduced at Frito-Lay. It’s a line of seasoning mixes called Tostitos and Lay’s Dip Creations.”

Sit down with me, Alexia. Let’s have a real snack chat. Ready? Okay. ADDING POWDERED SEASONING TO SOUR CREAM AND AVOCADOS IS NOT A FORM OF IMPROVING YOUR COOKING SKILLS. Yes, I can see it now: one minute you’re mixing ranch powder into sour cream, the next you’re head chef at a Michelin three-star restaurant. James Beard award, here you come!

But wait, Alexia isn’t done yet. “I’ve tried them all, and all three make pretty amazing (and easy-to-prepare) dips -– the kind people might think came from a family recipe.”

You know what the family recipe is for onion dip? Lipton Onion Soup Mix and sour cream. True inspiration, there. And if you waved a packet of Tostitos Dip Creations Freshly Made Guacamole Seasoning Mix in the face of someone’s abuelita and told her it was just like her cherished homemade guacamole, she would throw a bowl of steaming hot refried beans in your face. That’s just insulting.

I only picked up Garden Onion and Freshly Made Guacamole (a sketchy name for a seasoning packet) and not Country Ranch because a.) I know onion dip like the back of my hand and Lipton has always ruled the school, b.) I want to see Freshly Made Guacamole either fail horribly or blow away my expectations, and c.) I don’t need two tubs of sour cream in my fridge, and besides, I feel like making Country Ranch dip would be insulting to the ever-present bottle of Kraft Ranch Dressing that helps make my pizza crusts edible. Just wanted to clarify, in case anybody wants to scream “WHERE’S THE RANCH?” Don’t mess with an old lady’s schtick from 1984.

Garden Onion

Lay's Dip Creations Garden Onion Seasoning Mix Powder

The instructions, or “cooking skills improvement guide” as Alexia might call them, are simple and obvious: blend 16 ounces sour cream with one packet of Garden Onion, let it sit in the fridge for one hour. I usually let my onion dip set up for at least six hours, so I had some doubts about such a short time for letting the powder blend into the sour cream, allowing the flavors to meld. I was pleasantly surprised to find that, after the allotted hour, the powder seemed completely dissolved.

The flavor will probably improve after a longer gestation period in the fridge, but after such a short time, I was a little disappointed in the level of onioniness (stare at that made-up word for a while, your eyes will cross) in my Garden Onion dip. The distinctive onion flavor was still there, but it was much more subtle than a dip made with Lipton’s Onion Soup Mix.

Lay's Dip Creations Garden Onion

I was surprised to find little crunchy bits of onion spread throughout the dip. They added an extra dimension of onion and you could feel the crunch, even with the crispiness of the potato chip I was using as dip delivery device. I’m left wondering if the little bits of dried onion will soften as the dip sits longer, but I hope they don’t, because it was a nice contrast to the smoothness of the sour cream.

Freshly Made Guacamole

Tostitos Dip Creations Freshly Made Guacamole Seasoning Mix Powder

Again, simple instructions: mash three large avocados, mix in seasoning, let sit for 30 minutes. It’s not often that I have to handle fresh produce for a review. I found myself in a strange section of the grocery store that had food that wasn’t in a bag or a box.

“I hear this shit comes from the ground, what the hell,” my husband said.

“That’s gross,” I replied.

Despite my revulsion at having to handle something that doesn’t contain 17 different unpronounceable chemicals, I needed to get the avocados for the review, so I put on a brave face and got through it. This “recipe” takes a bit more work; after stirring the Garden Onion, mashing the avocados, and then stirring in the guacamole seasoning mix, my hand was as tired as a desperate hooker’s after giving handjobs at the bus station all day.

Tostitos Dip Creations Freshly Made Guacamole

I was even more worried about this dip than the onion dip, because the powder looked much chunkier and the instructions called for an even shorter set-up period in the fridge. Once again, however, I was pleasantly surprised; the guacamole was smooth – well, as smooth as I got it before I gave up pulverizing the meat of three avocados with a fork.

Even more surprising was the flavor. I didn’t want to like it, but I couldn’t deny it. It was darn tasty. The onion and garlic flavors were prominent, and while I couldn’t detect any heat or flavor from the jalapeno pepper, there was something in the seasoning mix that gave it that guacamole twang. I kept eating it, trying to find a reason not to like it, but my only objection was the lack of jalapeno.

I wanted to hate Lay’s and Tostitos Dip Creations Seasoning Mixes. I’m not sure why; I guess all of Alexia’s talk of cooking improvement and family recipes got me all wound up. Lay’s Garden Onion didn’t really do it for me; I liked the crunchy bits, but the onion flavor just wasn’t strong enough. I’ll stand by my Lipton’s, but if you like a milder onion flavor, Lay’s could work for you. To save myself from having someone’s abuelita break into my house and scald my face with beans, I will say, there’s no substitution for chopping up your own vegetables and making fresh guacamole. However, I am a lazy, lazy person, and Tostitos Freshly Made Guacamole manages to hit the spot in a surprisingly sufficient way. I was disappointed by the lack of jalapeno, but I can add some hot sauce to give it some heat. In the end, I have to admit, Dip Creations is a solid product line for someone like me who wants to make dip without a lot of effort.

(Nutrition Facts – 1/16 package – Lay’s Dip Creations Garden Onion Seasoning Mix – package – 5 calories, 0 calories from fat, 0 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 140 milligrams of sodium, 1 gram of carbohydrates, 0 grams of dietary fiber, 0 grams of sugars, 0 grams of protein. Tostitos Dip Creations Freshly Made Guacamole Seasoning Mix – 5 calories, 0 calories from fat, 0 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 120 milligrams of sodium, 1 gram of carbohydrates, 0 grams of dietary fiber, 0 grams of sugars, 0 grams of protein.)

Item: Lay’s Dip Creations Garden Onion and Tostitos Dip Creations Freshly Made Guacamole Seasoning Mixes
Price: $1.59
Size: 1 oz. packet
Purchased at: Fry’s Foods
Rating: 6 out of 10 (Lay’s Dip Creations Garden Onion)
Rating: 8 out of 10 (Tostitos Dip Creations Freshly Made Guacamole)
Pros: Guacamole had great onion and garlic taste. Taking out my anger on avocados. Garden Onion had tasty crunchy bits. Angry abuelitas. Dips set up quickly in the fridge.
Cons: Garden Onion wasn’t oniony enough. Alexia and her cooking skills. Guacamole lacked jalapeno flavor and heat. The big scary produce section. Bus station handjob syndrome.

REVIEW: Tostitos Artisan Recipes Tortilla Chips (Fire-Roasted Chipotle and Roasted Garlic & Black Bean)

Kelley 18 Comments

Tostitos Artisan Recipes Fire-Roasted Chipotle and Roasted Garlic & Black Bean

Poor Tostitos. They’re like the pink Corvette of the Barbie world: oh, sure, little girls play with the Corvette all the time, but only when Barbie’s having a Thelma & Louise-esque adventure with her best friend Teresa or Barbie, Trichelle, Chandra, and Zahara (what is with these names?) are going on a shopping trip. Otherwise, the Corvette stays parked off to the side, lonely and forgotten. The only little girls who play with the Corvette alone are the ones that may grow up wearing flannel shirts and favoring mullets.

The point I’m trying to make here is that, while other Frito-Lay products like Doritos and Cheetos get flavor makeovers approximately once every six seconds, Tostitos remains stalwart in its commitment to be just a tortilla chip, a vessel for you to dunk into the ten different varieties of Tostitos-branded dips. Oh sure, there’s some variety – you can get them round, multigrain, even with a hint of jalapeño or lime, but Tostitos will never coat your fingers with a thick layer of flavor dust.

However, Tostitos will be naked no more, thanks to their new line of Artisan Recipes. Somebody’s little brother stole the pink Corvette, and now it’s in a demolition derby with a Tonka backhoe and a monster truck named “The Crusher.” Good luck to you, pink Barbie Corvette.

Oh, right, we’re talking about chips, not reliving my childhood. The Artisan Recipes line only has two flavors for now: Fire-Roasted Chipotle and Roasted Garlic & Black Bean. I am assuming, depending on their level of success, that more flavors will be forthcoming.

I’ll let Frito-Lay’s press release do the explaining: “Tostitos Artisan Recipes offers tortilla chip fans an exciting new twist on this popular snack. Each flavor is made from high-quality whole-white corn and real ingredients like black beans, garlic and chipotle peppers that are baked in before cooking for a truly one-of-a-kind flavor.”

Ohhh, I get it now! The twist here is that the flavors are baked in. Tostitos is crashing the flavor party with an innovative idea – flavorful chips without the messy fingers. Chips for grown-ups! Or, at least, chips for grown-ups who have enough dignity not to suck the inches of flavor dust off their fingers in public. I don’t fall into that category, but I’ll give these chips a try anyways.

Fire-Roasted Chipotle

Tostitos Artisan Recipes Fire-Roasted Chipotle Chip

Let’s start with the good: Artisan Recipe Tostitos have a great texture. They are thinner and more delicate than regular Tostitos, with a nice, light crunch as you chew them. The tortilla taste is also very pleasant; they taste a lot like regular Tostitos, but with more of a pronounced grain flavor. This is because, unlike regular Tostitos (I consider Restaurant Style to be the de facto standard Tostitos), Artisan Recipes have eight more grains besides the standard whole white corn. Some of those grains include whole rye, barley, and triticale. I had to look up exactly what triticale is. Apparently science wanted to make wheat and rye have a baby, and triticale was the result. I don’t know why this was something that needed to happen, but regardless, it did, and now it’s in my stomach.

All these grains smashed together make a tasty chip, but that’s also a problem – where’s the chipotle? I had to get through chip number three before I could taste a bit of spice and feel any heat building up on the back of my tongue. I kept waiting for the smoky pepper flavor of chipotle to emerge, but it never did. Just a bit of spice and that little touch of heat at the end.

Artisan Recipes’ whole schtick is that the flavor is baked in, but there’s still flavor dust on the chips. It’s definitely more subtle than, say, a Nacho Cheese Dorito, but my fingers definitely had little red flecks on them along with the salt. I can’t call Tostitos a liar, because they never say outright that all the flavor is “baked in”, but they do fail to mention that it’s getting a little support from flavor dust. And yet, even with the backup, the chipotle flavor fails to come through, which is disappointing.

Roasted Garlic & Black Bean

Tostitos Artisan Recipes Roasted Garlic & Black Bean Chip

Predictably, these have the same nice, delicate texture of the Fire-Roasted Chipotle, but unfortunately, they also have the same affliction: lack-of-flavoritis. Those big flecks must be the black bean that’s baked in, but in the ingredients list, they are dried black beans. How could that possibly bring in any flavor?

As for the roasted garlic, I managed to find approximately one out of every four chips that tasted like garlic powder. On some of these chips, you can actually see a faint orange powder, which is curious. In fact, maybe my mouth is just inventing flavors at this point in a desperate attempt at tasting something, but I got more of a really subtle cheese taste on the chips that didn’t taste like garlic powder. Even though I had to work to find the faintly garlic-flavored chips, when I did get one, I really enjoyed it.

I had high hopes for Artisan Recipes Tostitos. I was hoping to get some rich flavor from baked-in, authentic ingredients. And, honestly, if they hadn’t had such descriptive, delicious-sounding names, I would have given them high marks for being a light tortilla chip with a good crunch. I risk losing my Processed Foods Only membership card by saying this, but I found the addition of eight extra grains made for a more flavorful tortilla chip. Unfortunately, the chipotle lacked smokiness and had only a mild heat in regards to flavor, the black beans were sadly absent, and the garlic was hit-and-miss. That said, the subtlety of these flavors would add a little extra depth when dunked into a Tostitos-branded dip, but they shot themselves in the foot and made the chips too fragile to support most dips. Tostitos Artisan Recipes are great chips in both texture and tortilla/grain flavor, but don’t expect your taste buds to be lovingly caressed by chipotle, garlic, or black beans.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 ounce – Fire-Roasted Chipotle – 150 calories, 70 calories from fat, 8 grams of total fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 4.5 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 2.5 grams of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 90 milligrams of sodium, 18 grams of total carbohydrates, 2 grams of dietary fiber, less than 1 gram of sugars, 2 grams of protein, 2% calcium, 2% iron, 2% thiamin, 2% riboflavin, 2% niacin, 2% vitamin B6, 6% phosphorus, 6% magnesium and 2% zinc. Roasted Garlic & Black Bean – 150 calories, 70 calories from fat, 8 grams of total fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 4.5 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 2.5 grams of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 90 milligrams of sodium, 18 grams of total carbohydrates, 2 grams of dietary fiber, 0 grams of sugars, 2 grams of protein, 2% calcium, 2% iron, 2% thiamin, 8% riboflavin, 4% niacin, 4% vitamin B6, 4% phosphorus, 4% magnesium and 2% zinc.)

Item: Tostitos Artisan Recipes Tortilla Chips (Fire-Roasted Chipotle and Roasted Garlic & Black Bean)
Price: $3.49 and $2.49 (on sale, regularly $3.99)
Size: 9 ¾ oz. bags
Purchased at: Fry’s Foods and Safeway
Rating: 5 out of 10 (Fire-Roasted Chipotle)
Rating: 6 out of 10 (Roasted Garlic & Black Bean)
Pros: Good tortilla chip texture. Re-creating Thelma & Louise with Barbies. Lots of healthy, tasty grains. Demolition derbies. Garlic flavor on some chips was delicious. Chipotle delivered a little heat.
Cons: Chips didn’t live up to baked-in flavor promise. Little brothers stealing your Barbie Corvettes. Lack of smoky flavor in Fire-Roasted Chipotle. “Trichelle.” No black bean flavor.

Tostitos Multigrain

Marvo 27 Comments

If I needed to be saved from a burning building, car accident, David Hasselhoff music video, or a greasy Richard Simmons hug, I wouldn’t want these Tostitos Multigrain chips to rescue me.

The reason why is because they are weak, like Pete Doherty’s will power around heroin or Britney Spears’ parenting abilities. I may have a hard time opening a bottle of salsa without help from a towel or a much stronger eight year old girl, but these Tostitos Multigrain chips are so weak that they cracked every time I tried to scoop up some salsa with them.

If they can’t pick up salsa, how are they going to save me if I needed to rescued from a shark, bear, snake, wolf, tyrannosaurus rex, vampire, Tim Allen movie, Decepticon, black hole, or MySpace sexual predator?

Sure, the Tostitos Multigrain has “four wholesome grains,” corn, oat, buckwheat, and wheat, but how can I truly enjoy them if they keep breaking down in chunky salsa and I have to worry about the part of the chip that buried in salsa?

I could use another chip to dig out the buried chip, but these Tostitos Multigrain chips are so fragile and weak that the next chip would probably break, causing a path towards the Zsa Zsa Gabor Marriage Effect, which involves many, many failures before finally succeeding.

Despite the “four wholesome grains,” the Tostitos Multigrain are not healthier than regular Tostitos. It’s much like how Britney’s black hair doesn’t make her less trailer trash.

The combination of the “four wholesome grains” also gave the chips a darker appearance, a kind of healthy nutty taste, and a crunch that’s slightly not as crunchy as regular Tostitos. They taste okay, but if the “four wholesome grains” don’t make them any healthier, I don’t think I would buy them again, like I would for the okay-tasting, but significantly healthier Baked Lays.

So if you happen to be kidnapped by some shady guy in a black suit with a pointy mustache, tied up in a huge coil of rope, everything around you is in black and white, you’re placed on train tracks to get run over by an oncoming train, and Tostitos Multigrain comes to try and help you, just eat them, because the only thing they can help is hunger.

(Editor’s Note: If you’re interested, or love randomness, check out the “Random Review” button in the top navigation bar. Click it and it will magically take you on a journey through all the good reviews, bad reviews, and ugly banana deep-throating reviews. Thanks to Impulsive Buy reader Rylan for the idea.)

Item: Tostitos Multigrain
Price: $3.99
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 2 out of 5
Pros: Okay healthy nutty taste. Zero trans fat. Having eight year old girls around to help open jars and bottles. Celebrity references for all ages.
Cons: Tostitos Multigrain is too weak to save lives. Chips break easily while scooping up salsa. The four wholesome grains doesn’t make it any healthier than regular Tostitos. Slightly not as crunchy as regular Tostitos. Britney’s black hair. Being weaker than eight year old girls. Decepticons. ANY David Hasselhoff video.