REVIEW: Chuck E. Cheese Unicorn Churros

Chuck E Cheese Unicorn Churros

What are Chuck E. Cheese Unicorn Churros?

They’re Chuck E.’s (actually technically Ronnie the Unicorn’s) standard issue churros but dusted with colorful, flavored sugar. They’re baked, not deep fried. The sugar flavors are cherry, sour apple, and blue raspberry.

How are they?

Solidly mediocre.

Chuck E Cheese Unicorn Churros Innards

First and foremost, the churro itself is really doughy. Because it’s baked, it doesn’t quite have a crispy exterior. On the bright side, there was no oil residue in the paper container whatsoever. Second, the familiar candy flavors created a high bar that these unicorn churros didn’t quite meet.

Chuck E Cheese Unicorn Churros Sugar

I started with the sour apple first because the neon green intrigued me. I expected a candy-like pucker, but all I got was an apple-flavored taste that wasn’t sour at all.

Next, I moved onto the cherry. This tasted like a standard cinnamon sugar churro. There was no cherry flavor whatsoever. Zilch. Nada! Part of me was somewhat relieved because cherry can taste super artificial.

Chuck E Cheese Unicorn Churros with Regular Churros 2

I unintentionally saved the best for last — blue raspberry. This was the most flavorful of the trio. It had a familiar blue raspberry Jolly Rancher-like flavor, but it was still pretty subdued.

Is there anything else you need to know?

Because an order of churros comes with four pieces, but there are only three flavors, you get two cherry ones. If I had the option of choosing, I’d go with another blue raspberry one.

Conclusion:

Chuck E Cheese Unicorn Churros 2

I think 6-year-old me, who had my birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese, would have loved it. Fast forward 20+ years, adult Tiffany thinks that like most unicorn-themed foods, it’s all hype and no substance.

Purchased Price: $3.99
Size: 4-piece order
Rating: 4 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: Not Listed

REVIEW: Snack Pack Unicorn Magic Pudding

Snack Pack Unicorn Magic Pudding

What is Snack Pack Unicorn Magic Pudding?

It’s the latest salvo in the never-ending war between Snack Pack and Jello for pudding supremacy. It came out roughly the same time as Jello’s Unicorn Slime. According to the packaging, it tastes like joy and rainbow sparkles and is made with fairy dust and princess kisses.

How is it?

I’ve never tasted joy or rainbow sparkles, but I have tasted misery from the salty tears of a crying face and rainbow sprinkles from the cupcake I stole from the person shedding those salty tears. With that said, this pudding definitely tastes better than misery and rainbow sprinkles.

To be honest, I thought the fairy dust would make the pudding gritty, but I guess it’s so fine that it’s not noticeable. It’s as creamy as any other pudding I’ve had. Or maybe the princess kisses helped dissolve the fairy dust. I mean, if a kiss from a prince can break a witch’s curse, then princess kisses must be as powerful.

Snack Pack Unicorn Magic Pudding Pink Vs Blue

If the young women’s accessory store Claire’s had a flavor, I’m quite sure it would taste like this pudding. There are two different color varieties in the pack – pink and blue – but there’s no flavor difference between them. Besides what a Claire’s would taste like, I also want to say its flavor is like off-vanilla. My taste buds get vanilla, marshmallows, a bit of cotton candy, and a hint of something floral.

Is there anything else you need to know?

For some odd reason, a six-pack of comes with an uneven four pink ones and two blue ones. No, it’s not a random thing. The nutrition facts point out there are supposed to be those amounts. Why not have an equal number of both colors?

Snack Pack Unicorn Magic Pudding Mixed

Oh, if you’re wondering, mixing the two colors together make a pretty purple color and causes a unicorn to appear in front of you to grant you ONE wish. That wish cannot be to have infinite wishes.

The packaging also comes with a pair of unicorn tattoos, which may or may not be on my body where a mumble rapper would put a tat.

Conclusion:

Snack Pack Unicorn Magic Pudding Lid

At first, I wasn’t into Snack Pack’s Unicorn Magic Pudding, but after eating halfway through a pink and blue container, I found myself liking it. Maybe there’s magic in the pudding that changed my mind. Or perhaps the disodium phosphate is just disodium phosphate.

Purchased Price: $2.69
Size: insertimg
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 pudding cup) 100 calories, 2.5 grams of fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 130 milligrams of sodium, 19 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 14 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of protein.

QUICK REVIEW: Brach’s Unicorn Horns and Dragon’s Teeth Candy Corn

Brach's Unicorn Horns Fruity Candy Corn

What are Brach’s Unicorn Horns and Dragon’s Teeth Candy Corn?

Brach’s has joined the unicorn fad with its new Unicorn Horns Fruity Candy Corn, which has five different flavors in pastel colors.

Brach's Dragon's Teeth Candy Corn

Also joining the party is Dragon’s Teeth Candy Corn, which has yellow and brown candies that taste like chocolate, and red and white candies that taste like strawberry.

How are they?

Brach's Unicorn Horns Fruity Candy Corn 2

Let’s start with the Unicorn Horns. Although it says there are five fruity flavors, it doesn’t identify what those flavors are. The yellow and lighter orange are obviously lemon and orange. The darker orange is either mango or melon. The pink might be strawberry? And I assume the purple is grape, but I can’t taste that.

These aren’t plain fruit flavors; they’re more of a fruit and cream. The yellow and both oranges have a satisfying taste, and the yellow is noticeably softer than the other colors. The pink is OK, but I don’t care for the purple. Overall, though, it’s a delightful candy amalgamation, in part for the kitsch factor.

Brach's Dragon's Teeth Candy Corn 2

Now for the Dragon’s Teeth. (It’s just one dragon, apparently.) The chocolate ones taste the same as the Harvest Corn (formerly known as Indian Corn). The strawberry ones have a decidedly artificial flavor; I would have guessed it was cherry. Unlike the Unicorn Horns, there is no creaminess to it. It’s an OK combination.

Is there anything else I need to know?

The Unicorn Horns have a disclaimer that “no unicorns were harmed in the making of this product.” There is no such disclaimer for the Dragon’s Teeth. So I’m guessing Brach’s actually had to slay the dragon.

Conclusion:

I liked Brach’s Unicorn Horns more than I expected. They remind me of the Starburst Candy Corn from a few years ago. But you can take a pass on the Dragon’s Teeth.

Purchased Price: $1.69 each
Size: 9 oz. bags
Purchased at: Smith’s (Kroger)
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Unicorn Horns)
Rating: 5 out of 10 (Dragon’s Teeth)
Nutrition Facts: (15 pieces) Unicorn Horns – 110 calories, 0 grams of fat, 60 milligrams of sodium, 28 grams of carbohydrates, 23 grams of sugar (including 23 grams of added sugars), and 0 grams of protein. Dragon’s Teeth – 110 calories, 0 grams of fat, 60 milligrams of sodium, 28 grams of carbohydrates, 21 grams of sugar (including 21 grams of added sugars), and 0 grams of protein.

QUICK REVIEW: Limited Edition Unicorn Power Frosted Cherry Pop-Tarts

Limited Edition Unicorn Power Frosted Cherry Pop Tarts

What is it?

Another iteration of the Instagram-fueled trend of almost-too-pretty-to-eat unicorn-themed foods.

Despite its mythical theme, Kellogg’s went with a pretty tame flavor choice for this, utilizing cherry filling and royal icing emblazoned with the image of a majestically poised unicorn head.

How is it?

They’re alright.

Were you expecting me to say something more?

At the end of the day, they’re Cherry Pop-Tarts. If you like cherry toaster pastries, then there’s no reason why you wouldn’t like these. The outer shell of each tart has the same crisp sturdiness that I’ve come to expect from such treats, and I felt its slight saltiness helped keep the cherry filling from tasting too sweet.

Limited Edition Unicorn Power Frosted Cherry Pop Tarts 3

Even so, the cherry flavor isn’t prominent. It’s red, and I can tell that it’s a fruit filling, but if you told me this was a strawberry or raspberry Pop-Tart, I would believe you.

Limited Edition Unicorn Power Frosted Cherry Pop Tarts 2

On top of Kellogg’s total lack of flavor creativity, I also feel the need to call out its decorating skills. Since the icing is the only aspect that’s genuinely unicorn-themed other than the box itself, I expected some pretty elaborate art. Instead, both designs are a bare-bones edible ink stamp that barely covers half of the surface area of each tart. On top of that, they’re both blurry, and they look worse than the multicolored sprinkles that frosted Pop-Tarts are usually sprinkled with.

Totally not Instagramable!

Is there anything else I need to know?

Even though I prefer my fruit-filled Pop-Tarts to be served cold, I ended up liking these more once they were warmed in the toaster oven, partly because warm food on cold mornings is one of the greatest simple pleasures in life, but mostly because I could pretend the cherry filling was magical unicorn blood.

Conclusion:

Don’t let the pretty box fool you – Unicorn Power Pop-Tarts are far from anything special. Even though they’re as acceptable as any other cherry toaster pastry, they aren’t worth trekking to Sam’s Club to pick up, and they’re not nearly interesting enough to make me want to finish the 32-count club pack I bought.

Purchased Price: $5.98
Size: 1 lb. 13.3 oz. (32 pastries)
Purchased at: Sam’s Club
Rating: 5 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 pastry) 200 calories, 45 calories from fat, 5 grams of total fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 170 milligrams of sodium, 38 grams of total carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of dietary fiber, 16 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.

QUICK REVIEW: Little Debbie Limited Edition Sparkling Strawberry Unicorn Cakes

Little Debbie Limited Edition Sparkling Strawberry Unicorn Cakes

What is it?

Serving as a whimsical and colorful foil to Zebra Cakes, these magically-inspired second cousins of Little Debbie’s classic equine-themed treats feature strawberry-flavored cake with a strawberry filling, white icing, and bright sprinkles.

How is it?

Little Debbie Limited Edition Sparkling Strawberry Unicorn Cakes 4

Little Debbie Limited Edition Sparkling Strawberry Unicorn Cakes 2

Before I even get started on how these cakes taste, can I stop for a moment to mention how pretty they are to look at? Between their nearly perfect hexagonal shape, even coating, careful color balance, and personalized cellophane sleeve, I found these to be a pleasure to admire.

Moving on, Little Debbie lived up to my expectations by making each one of these cakes taste as great as they looked. The cake itself is appropriately soft and buttery, with a thin layer of whipped filling in the middle to separate the two cake layers.

Little Debbie Limited Edition Sparkling Strawberry Unicorn Cakes 3

The cake and filling are strawberry flavored, and I have to hand it to Little Debbie here for executing the strawberry quite well. It’s subtle, but definitely there, and I found it worked well alongside the rest of the cake. In fact, its subtlety is what allows the strawberry flavor to work in the first place because it never comes across as overly artificial. I’ve always had issues with fruit-themed cakes tasting anything but authentic in the past.

While the outer coating doesn’t add much flavor-wise, it helps keep the cakes within moist, and the glittering purple sprinkles on top give a hint of grit that keeps me entertained texturally.

Is there anything else I need to know?

Even though I’m well aware that Little Debbie isn’t the most risk-taking snack brand in the grocery store, they could have elevated the whole “Sparkling Strawberry” idea a step further by scattering strawberry-flavored popping candy pieces on the top rather than regular old sprinkles.

Conclusion:

Being a treat that’s pretty, tasty, and slightly fruity, Little Debbie’s Sparkling Strawberry Unicorn Cakes are a much-appreciated respite during a time of year that’s typically dominated by heavy autumnal spices and dark, earthy colors.

Purchased Price: $2.00
Size: 10 cakes
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (2 cakes) 330 calories, 160 calories from fat, 16 grams of total fat, 9 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 160 milligrams of sodium, 46 grams of total carbohydrates, 0 grams of dietary fiber, 35 grams of total sugars, 35 grams of added sugars, and 1 gram of protein.

REVIEW: Market Pantry Unicorn Magic Ice Cream

Market Pantry Unicorn Magic Ice Cream

I am loving this modern resurgence of unicorns. It brings me right back to my pre-teen Lisa Frank sticker collecting days. But since I’m already nursing a Hello Kitty obsession and can only handle one “too old for this” thing without looking like a complete lunatic, I limit my unicorn love to food items.

When I saw Target’s new Market Pantry ice cream was called “Unicorn Magic” AND had glitter candy bits, I was ready. First, glitter – no brainer – yes. Second, magic – I don’t go for the poop and snot falderal that drags down many current unicorn products. We all know unicorns do not poop or have phlegm. They’re all magic, sparkle, and love. Thanks for taking the high road here, Target.

The description of the ice cream itself was a bit vague – pink fruity? What does that mean?

Market Pantry Unicorn Magic Ice Cream 2

On prying open the tub, I was a little disappointed by the visual – a muddled pastel pinky-blue that looked more My Little Pony spackling compound than unicorn magic.

Market Pantry Unicorn Magic Ice Cream 3

I breathed in a barely-there fruity aroma. As I scooped down into the frozen mass, the colors differentiated and I could see a more vibrant pink with bright blue and white streaks. Getting better…

Market Pantry Unicorn Magic Ice Cream 4

On the taste front, this ice cream was a delight. “Pink fruity” was definitely cherry – a GOOD cherry. It was very light, not the nightmare medicinal cherry that haunts us all. The blue raspberry stripes gave it a little Jolly-Ranchers-esque flavor pop.

Market Pantry Unicorn Magic Ice Cream 5

I’m not sure why the white swirls are billed as frosting. They screamed marshmallow in taste and texture. Is marshmallow passé now? It was a perfect Fluff-like addition to the creamy fruitiness. I found myself eating more of this ice cream than anticipated.

Market Pantry Unicorn Magic Ice Cream 6

“What about the glitter candy bits” you ask? Well, here is Unicorn Magic’s epic fail. There were plenty of them, but they were barely distinguishable in a scoop. They’re basically shards of white Magic Shell with tiny flecks of color. Come on, people. What about this thing says “glitter”? Confetti, yes. Glitter, NO. What a disappointment.

Market Pantry Unicorn Magic Ice Cream 7

Overall, Unicorn Magic is a tale of two promises – the taste delivered the magic, but the appearance was Unicorn Sedative. I mean, look at the color difference between the container and the product! I have to ding them two rating points for this since the style of the thing is half (or more) of the appeal of unicorn products.

Market Pantry Unicorn Magic Ice Cream 8

Since I liked the taste, I decided to repurpose this ice cream into something that would highlight that but hide the visual. I made bite-sized frozen cookie sandwiches. 3/4 teaspoon scoops of pre-made sugar cookie dough dyed with food coloring, baked. Press a tiny scoop of ice cream between two cookies and roll sides in fun sprinkles.

Market Pantry Unicorn Magic Ice Cream 9

(Nutrition Facts – 2/3 cup – 220 calories, 11 grams of fat, 6 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 30 milligrams of cholesterol, 65 milligrams of sodium, 28 grams of carbohydrates, 0 gram of dietary fiber, 24 grams of total sugars, 20 grams of added sugars, and 2 grams of protein.)

Purchased Price: $2.99
Size: 1.5 qts.
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Great combination of light cherry, intense raspberry and smooth marshmallow fluff. No poop or snot to be found.
Cons: My eyes did not experience magic. I’m spearheading legislation to regulate the use of the word glitter in food products, with a maximum of life in prison for not bringing the sparkle if you advertise it.