Jack in the Box Ciabatta Bacon ‘n’ Cheese

Ciabatta Bacon ‘n’ Cheese

If I’ve learned anything in my life, it’s that I should never judge a book by its cover, never trust a big butt and a smile, never let a jury in California decide a celebrity murder or child molestation case, and never believe the food from fast food restaurants will look the way they do in their advertisements.

Here at The Impulsive Buy, I like to keep it real. I don’t show you digitally enhance photos of beautifully well-crafted burgers that took hours to create. Instead I show you improperly color balanced photos of sloppily made burgers that took seconds to slap together by either a sixteen or seventy year old.

Now take a look below at the digitally enhanced photo of the new Jack in the Box Ciabatta Bacon ‘n’ Cheese, with its thick, perfectly shaped patties, two slices of cheese that are perfectly melted, three strips of red, juicy bacon that are the perfect length of the burger, colorful red onions and tomatoes layered perfectly on top of each other, green leaf lettuce with its perfectly placed beads of moisture, and a smothering of smoky cheddar mayo perfectly spread across the inside of the perfectly toasted Ciabatta bread.

Yum-O!

I don’t know about you, but that picture makes me want to pick one up, put on a black bikini, and wash a luxury car while eating it.

Now look at the improperly color balanced photo above of the Jack in the Box Ciabatta Bacon ‘n’ Cheese. It doesn’t look very appetizing, does it?

The two patties look like they’ve been molded together with the two slices of cheese. It looks like there’s only one slice of bacon. The red onions look like it came from parents who were having some interracial cross-pollination. The tomatoes look like they’re trying to run away from the rest of the burger.

Holy crap! The lettuce is ACTUALLY GREEN! The apocalypse is upon us!

Oh wait. The heat from the patties made the lettuce wilt. Everything is fine, it’s not green anymore.

Anyway, despite looking like a 1980’s Cyndi Lauper hairdo gone bad, the Ciabatta Bacon ‘n’ Cheese was surprisingly really good. This tastiness was mostly due to the really good smokey cheddar mayo and the bacon.

Now that I think about it, the Ciabatta Bacon ‘n’ Cheese is sort like Dr. Ruth, on the outside she may not be the prettiest thing to look at, but on the inside, she’s a surprisingly crazy carnal animal that could rock my world.


Item: Ciabatta Bacon ‘n’ Cheese
Purchase Price: $3.99 (Burger only)
Rating: 4 out of 5
Pros: Tasty. Good smokey cheddar mayo. Dr. Ruth lovemaking abilities.
Cons: Green lettuce wilts quickly from the burger’s heat. Looks like a 1980’s Cyndi Lauper hairdo gone bad. A big butt and a smile.

40 thoughts to “Jack in the Box Ciabatta Bacon ‘n’ Cheese”

  1. I want to pick up that burger, don a black bikini and wash Dr. Ruth. Actually, I bet she’s given advice of that nature to some poor person at least once. ‘But on a thong, grab a burger, and wash your car. Women love that stuff.’

  2. Does the burger come with instructions for unhinging your jaws in order to get the dang thing in your mouth? And is there a Very Happy Meal version of this burger that includes a black thong in the bag?

  3. Ken – Shouldn’t it be, have her put on a thong, grab a burger, and wash HER car. I think that would turn both sides on.

    Mellie Helen – The burger isn’t actually very thick, and if you wanted to, you could squash the burger because the ciabatta bread is very sturdy. As for the Very Happy Meal, no black thong, but I’m sure it’s possible to make a wonderful g-string with the fries.

    Chuck – Aren’t they known for something else besides beer? Sausages or something?

  4. Sauerkraut maybe? I dunno. There is a lot of Bavarian influence in Wisconsin and there’s also a lot of beer, sausage, and, of course, cheese to be found around here.

  5. I’ve had one of these and it didn’t agree with me. I had to spend the next day on the pooping stool. It was gnarly.

  6. Unfortunately we dont have Jack in the Box’s here in Tampa, Florida.

    and i like the use of gnarly in hismikeness’s comment.

  7. Burger doesn’t look too bad. I hate sloppy burgers because the insides squirt out the other side when you pick it up. Then you get sauce all over everything trying to stuff it back in. Nothing like mopping up with the one tissue thin napkin they stick on your tray.

  8. Chuck – I think Germany is also famous for crazy David Hasselhoff fans.

    hismikeness – Maybe it was the vegetables. Sometimes my body rejects vegetables.

    P057 – But you do have professional baseball, football, and hockey.

    wired – The thing about this burger is the ciabatta bun. It doesn’t break down like most buns. I’ve noticed when the bun breaks the rest will follow.

  9. germany is well known for schnitzel (breaded and fried pork or turkey) and actually they have really good hearty salads here that my big strong 240 lb husband loves the salads are like nothing i have ever had before still i can’t wait to leave here and italy is the best place in europe to go for food

  10. yes, germany is know for beer (i dont really drink much), saurkraut (which i dont like), crazy David Hasselhoff fans, schnitzel (let me correct graceless – schnitzel is traditionally made of veal, which i dont eat, but you can always find a pork orr turkey version). let’s not forget also famous for sausage (yuck). and i am the strange one who hates the salads. italy is the best place for food, and we will definately go back again when the hubby returns. in the mean-time we have a great ma & pa run italian place that has the BEST food.

    and as for Hardee’s – they are not just eat coast, we have them in Texas. Carl’s Jr. bought out all the Hardee’s several years back but didnt change the names of many of them, and they advertise “we still have Hardee’s breakfast!” because breakfast is all they were ever good for. The signs still say Hardee’s but they serve Carl’s Jr. food and have Carl’s Jr. ads up all over. Very strange. I think they feared losing the retiree breakfast crowd if they changed the name.

  11. graceless & megan – I guess France is known for their desserts and Italy is known for their food. Oh, to eat real Italian food in Italy. Must do that one of these days.

  12. This has probably been addressed, but I’m going to address it again:

    Carl’s Junior BOUGHT Hardees. They decided to keep the Hardees brand name in place where it was because it had brand recognition. They are the same franchise.

    Jack in the Box, on the other hand, is unaffiliated.

  13. Hardees as well as Carl’s jr, Green Burrito, and La Salsa are owned by CKE anyone interested in the locations can follow this link http://cke.know-where.com/cke/ also at http://www.Hardees.com you can get a coupon, see the Hilton as well as the spoof ad.
    In a previous post I mistakenly referred to JITB as Carl’s my bad. Guess others followed suit but none of these exist where I dwell. Is there really a difference?

  14. I almost forgot Marvo about Dr. Ruth you know what they say; Those who can do, those who can’t teach.

  15. Kent – Jack in the Box and Carl’s Jr both seem to come up with new items every so often, but Carl’s Jr is much more expensive than JITB. Also, another thing about Dr. Ruth she has that foreign accent, which makes her sound sexy.

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