REVIEW: Burger King Funnel Cake Sticks

Thank goodness for carnivals and circuses.

They give us the opportunity to consume foods we normal wouldn’t eat anywhere else, like cotton candy; something deep fried that shouldn’t have been, like a Snickers, Oreo or Twinkie; and you can eat funnel cake, which has a shape and look that makes it appear to be poop that got snowed on.

Carnivals also allow you to upchuck those foods, thanks to rides with names like “The Zipper,” “Gravitron,” “Twister,” “Tilt-A-Whirl” and the appropriately named, “Vomit Comet.”

Like beauty and the fame from being the first person booted off of a reality show, getting to enjoy carnival food is fleeting, unless you’re a carny or follow the carnival from town to town, sort of like an overweight Deadhead, except a carnival follower’s munchies aren’t caused by smoking weed.

Sure you could make your own funnel cake, but you know it won’t be as good as the stuff at the carnival, because you lack carny magic. If you’re hoping the new Burger King Funnel Cake Sticks are a good substitute for carnival funnel cake, think again…or think about growing a long beard, if you’re a woman, or working on your throwing accuracy with knives so that you can have your own tent to show off your freakish beard or pinpoint knife flinging.

The BK Funnel Cake Sticks come with nine pieces and a container of white icing dipping sauce. Each stick is 3.5 inches long, is covered in powdered sugar and has almost the same consistency as Burger King french fries — a slightly crunchy outside and soft inside.

The funnel cake sticks without the icing didn’t have much flavor, unless you count greasiness and my salty tears of disappointment. It didn’t remind me of funnel cake, instead it reminded me that I don’t really care for what Burger King produces in deep fried stick form, like their french fries and Chicken Fries.

Not even the container of icing helped make it sweeter and taste better because it just couldn’t subdue the greasiness. Adding more sugar might improve it. Or maybe casting some carny magic.

(Nutrition Facts – 9 sticks – 300 calories, 11 grams of fat, 3 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 10 milligrams of cholesterol, 210 milligrams of sodium, 49 grams of carbohydrates, 30 grams of sugar and 2 grams of protein.)

Item: Burger King Funnel Cake Sticks
Price: $2.49
Size: 9 sticks
Purchased at: Burger King
Rating: 3 out of 10
Pros: Comes with 9 sticks. Crunchy outside, soft inside. No trans fat. Comes in a convenient box that hold the sticks and dipping icing. Carnival rides. Carny magic.
Cons: Really greasy flavor. Didn’t remind me of funnel cake. Icing didn’t help with the greasy flavor. The Vomit Comet. How quickly people forget the first person kicked off of a reality show. Fried Twinkie/Oreo/Snickers. Carnival rides after eating carnival food.

35 thoughts on “REVIEW: Burger King Funnel Cake Sticks

  1. Haha…leave it up to BK to screw up something as simple as fried dough. I had high hopes for these too…I don’t often get dessert items at fast food places unless it’s a milkshake anyways.

  2. This is the first I have heard of them and began to squeal like a little girl. But when I read your review, the squeals turned into a flat out tantrum because my hopes and dreams were squashed. But on a lighter note, I’m glad I was given the bad news here as opposed to going to burger king, getting them, and then going on a hulk type rampage throughout the town because of the king’s suckiness

  3. I’m on the edge of my seat waiting to see what they put into fry form next. I’m thinking that breakfast croissansticks are in our near future. The dipping sauce could be sausage gravy or melted cheese.

  4. Over/under: how soon does Burger King take this gem off the market? I truly believe they have chimpanzees coming up with new product ideas at their corporate office.

  5. Oh yeah. Funnel cake is a hit a carnivals and circuses, so I need to start serving these at my house. It’s a frickin’ madhouse with my spawns running ’round.

    I shall feed them BK sweets.

  6. Hey Marvo,

    I used to sell this product to restaurants for a food distributor a couple of years before BK picked up the idea.

    I can honestly say that they’re much better than the review you’ve given them. The big deciding factor on their quality is the oil that they’re fried in. BK uses a cheap-ass commodity shortening that degrades extremely quickly and has terrible problems with flavor transfer. When you cook this product in a higher quality oil (i.e. something like FryMax or FryOn, etc etc) their quality improves tenfold for multiple reasons: 1) no flavor transfer to degrade the taste 2) higher quality oils don’t stick to food (or in food, for that matter) nearly as bad, especially when fried at the correct temperature and changed on a regular basis 3) the color would look much better since the oil doesn’t burn as easily.

    I have tried this product fried in fresh, high quality shortening, and I think that they’re one of the best products on the market right now for “cheap-eats” restaurateurs. They’re an inexpensive dessert (or snack) for the customers, and they greatly help increase a restaurant owner’s bottom line.

    Respectfully submitted (with hopes that you will add me to your writing staff),

    Ed aka edman0037

  7. Honestly, what do people expect, burger king isn’t capable of reproducing some things, Funnel cakes are tasty, fluffy, hot and delicious, and burger king just can’t do ceartin things. I love you burger king, but this time you fail.

  8. @Ryan: You’d think since they fry thousands of pounds of potatoes every day they’d have the whole frying thing down. I often get the $1 hot fudge sundae from McD’s.

    @JJ: They’re decently priced, they’re probably cheaper where you live, so you should give them a try. I’m suggesting this because you live far away from me, so if you cause Hulk-like destruction, I’ll be far away.

    @Orchid64: I bet they came up with that in their test kitchen, but thought, who the hell was going to eat that. I’d eat that. Also, I’d like bacon fat as a dipping sauce.

    @Jillian: I think it’s a limited time only product, so I say two months. I read a magazine article about BK and the advertising agency they work with, I believe it said the agency helps come up with new food ideas.

    @Yum Yucky: Do you really want to feed them sweets? Won’t they run around more intensely with sugar flowing through them?

    @amanda: I’m going to say they probably tried to do that in their test kitchens. Actually I’d like to see a burger that uses a baked potato as a bun.

    @rightclue: I did find out about it via Grub Grade. They’re like my CNN of fast food news.

    @edman0037: You’re like a fast food geek. I think you’d be good at Grub Grade.

    @Ms. Spanks: Burger King can reproduce commercials that freak me out.

    @Chuck: Actually, the box these came in was the same box used for their french toast sticks. It was labeled for breakfast.

  9. I dunno, I might have to try this… I love me some funnel cake (and I work at a real amusement park, so I have no shortage in my life when we’re open… which we are not right now.) No, I dont have high hopes, but it’s worth a shot anyway… right?

  10. @Jesse: I will weep for America when Burger King brings over a seven patty Whopper. Oh, who am I kidding? I’m a cry baby. I cried when they come out with a triple Whopper. :)

    @Joseph: When I do, and if I enjoy it, and if I remember, I’ll move it under pros.

    @Poop Chef: I wish I could cry Diet Pepsi.

    @Gabs: Yeah, it’s worth a shot. But don’t blame me for disappointment.

  11. If you don’t like burger king fried food going in, why would you bother? I think your review is pretty weak as soon as you stated your disdain for anything fried BK. A focus group or study would have said thanks very much GTF out of here! 300 calories of light fluffy goodness aren’t “greasy” or I should say any greasier than anything else fried resulting as you say a somewhat crispy outside and soft center. The term liker and user comes to mind. You are neither so just pipe it down already.

  12. Marvo: I think this blog is yours and yours alone and so you should be able to express your personal opinions. If anyone should pipe down it’s the other person :p

  13. Greasy should never be a pro, sorry guys. Having a little bit of fried food won’t kill ya, but you’re obviously lowering the bar considerably when you think that it should be greasy and that’s actually a good quality. Anything fried properly, at the right temperature, for the right amount of time etc… will not be greasy and will actually taste like food, not oil. You want to be able to taste the food you’re eating, not the oil it was fried in. Real decadence is found in such foods… like battered fried ice cream, nice and crispy and not greasy on the outside, with a slightly melted medium layer of ice cream and a frozen center. MMMM!

  14. Any report as to where you ordered them from? I’ve found that Funnel Cakes are all about who’s doing the frying, not necessarily the batter, etc. I just tried them today @ a BK in Pennsylvania Dutch country where people make funnel cakes in their sleep, and it wasn’t bad. Much better than what I’ve had at the local AAA baseball affiliate stadium, but not as good as a real “home made” one. Maybe the whole not having to pull it apart and have your hands covered in powdered sugar enough to look like you have a coke habit makes it lose it’s luster?

  15. @dax: I enjoy their Whoppers and BK Stackers, when my cardiologist allows me to eat them.

    @yawnie: Agreed. If I could kiss you I would.

    @Zachary Jacob Zblewski: I’d hit that.

    @edman0037: I need a career that revolves around me eating food. Competitive eating, here I come!

    @edjunkie: The Zipper is also the best ride in the world to lose the loose change in one’s pockets.

    @amanda: No fighting here.

    @Peachy: BK is on a streak of foods I should review, but shouldn’t eat.

    @tlk: Carny magic makes it taste less greasy.

    @educatedbumette: Mmm…Battered fried ice cream. Mmm…Deep fried turkey.

    @Brian: I’m afraid to say because The King might be next to me when I wake up tomorrow.

  16. Marvo, I must confess. I didn’t take the “3 out of 10” rating to heart, and wished I would have. Feel free to tell me “I told you so.”

    I guess I couldn’t believe that BK could screw something as delightful as sugar-coated-grease up. *le sigh*

  17. Those funnel cake sticks were really good. I don’t know why you people keep criticizing them. Because I only get to eat funnel cake during the summer, I was glad that burger king came up with the idea. It’s not bad to eat good, fatty foods once in a while.

  18. It is funny how people are getting offended about your review. It isn’t like you hinted that anyone who likes them is a gay funnel cake…
    Keep the reviews coming.

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