REVIEW: Burger King Funnel Cake Sticks

Thank goodness for carnivals and circuses.

They give us the opportunity to consume foods we normal wouldn’t eat anywhere else, like cotton candy; something deep fried that shouldn’t have been, like a Snickers, Oreo or Twinkie; and you can eat funnel cake, which has a shape and look that makes it appear to be poop that got snowed on.

Carnivals also allow you to upchuck those foods, thanks to rides with names like “The Zipper,” “Gravitron,” “Twister,” “Tilt-A-Whirl” and the appropriately named, “Vomit Comet.”

Like beauty and the fame from being the first person booted off of a reality show, getting to enjoy carnival food is fleeting, unless you’re a carny or follow the carnival from town to town, sort of like an overweight Deadhead, except a carnival follower’s munchies aren’t caused by smoking weed.

Sure you could make your own funnel cake, but you know it won’t be as good as the stuff at the carnival, because you lack carny magic. If you’re hoping the new Burger King Funnel Cake Sticks are a good substitute for carnival funnel cake, think again…or think about growing a long beard, if you’re a woman, or working on your throwing accuracy with knives so that you can have your own tent to show off your freakish beard or pinpoint knife flinging.

The BK Funnel Cake Sticks come with nine pieces and a container of white icing dipping sauce. Each stick is 3.5 inches long, is covered in powdered sugar and has almost the same consistency as Burger King french fries — a slightly crunchy outside and soft inside.

The funnel cake sticks without the icing didn’t have much flavor, unless you count greasiness and my salty tears of disappointment. It didn’t remind me of funnel cake, instead it reminded me that I don’t really care for what Burger King produces in deep fried stick form, like their french fries and Chicken Fries.

Not even the container of icing helped make it sweeter and taste better because it just couldn’t subdue the greasiness. Adding more sugar might improve it. Or maybe casting some carny magic.

(Nutrition Facts – 9 sticks – 300 calories, 11 grams of fat, 3 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 10 milligrams of cholesterol, 210 milligrams of sodium, 49 grams of carbohydrates, 30 grams of sugar and 2 grams of protein.)

Item: Burger King Funnel Cake Sticks
Price: $2.49
Size: 9 sticks
Purchased at: Burger King
Rating: 3 out of 10
Pros: Comes with 9 sticks. Crunchy outside, soft inside. No trans fat. Comes in a convenient box that hold the sticks and dipping icing. Carnival rides. Carny magic.
Cons: Really greasy flavor. Didn’t remind me of funnel cake. Icing didn’t help with the greasy flavor. The Vomit Comet. How quickly people forget the first person kicked off of a reality show. Fried Twinkie/Oreo/Snickers. Carnival rides after eating carnival food.

35 thoughts to “REVIEW: Burger King Funnel Cake Sticks”

  1. Greasy should never be a pro, sorry guys. Having a little bit of fried food won’t kill ya, but you’re obviously lowering the bar considerably when you think that it should be greasy and that’s actually a good quality. Anything fried properly, at the right temperature, for the right amount of time etc… will not be greasy and will actually taste like food, not oil. You want to be able to taste the food you’re eating, not the oil it was fried in. Real decadence is found in such foods… like battered fried ice cream, nice and crispy and not greasy on the outside, with a slightly melted medium layer of ice cream and a frozen center. MMMM!

  2. Any report as to where you ordered them from? I’ve found that Funnel Cakes are all about who’s doing the frying, not necessarily the batter, etc. I just tried them today @ a BK in Pennsylvania Dutch country where people make funnel cakes in their sleep, and it wasn’t bad. Much better than what I’ve had at the local AAA baseball affiliate stadium, but not as good as a real “home made” one. Maybe the whole not having to pull it apart and have your hands covered in powdered sugar enough to look like you have a coke habit makes it lose it’s luster?

  3. @dax: I enjoy their Whoppers and BK Stackers, when my cardiologist allows me to eat them.

    @yawnie: Agreed. If I could kiss you I would.

    @Zachary Jacob Zblewski: I’d hit that.

    @edman0037: I need a career that revolves around me eating food. Competitive eating, here I come!

    @edjunkie: The Zipper is also the best ride in the world to lose the loose change in one’s pockets.

    @amanda: No fighting here.

    @Peachy: BK is on a streak of foods I should review, but shouldn’t eat.

    @tlk: Carny magic makes it taste less greasy.

    @educatedbumette: Mmm…Battered fried ice cream. Mmm…Deep fried turkey.

    @Brian: I’m afraid to say because The King might be next to me when I wake up tomorrow.

  4. Marvo, I must confess. I didn’t take the “3 out of 10” rating to heart, and wished I would have. Feel free to tell me “I told you so.”

    I guess I couldn’t believe that BK could screw something as delightful as sugar-coated-grease up. *le sigh*

  5. Those funnel cake sticks were really good. I don’t know why you people keep criticizing them. Because I only get to eat funnel cake during the summer, I was glad that burger king came up with the idea. It’s not bad to eat good, fatty foods once in a while.

  6. It is funny how people are getting offended about your review. It isn’t like you hinted that anyone who likes them is a gay funnel cake…
    Keep the reviews coming.

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