Three weeks ago, I was a cell phone virgin.
I didn’t own a cell phone because I didn’t have a use for one, I didn’t want a possible brain tumor, and I enjoy being uncool.
Well today, I’m a cell phone whore. Okay, not really a whore, because I hardly use my phone.
So what made me change my mind?
Well I was talking to an old friend and I told him I didn’t have a cell phone. He said he felt sorry for me. Then I asked him why I would need a cell phone and he came up with an excellent and simple answer: Booty calls.
I thought about that for a second and decided that he may have a point. What if some woman out there wanted to give me a booty call and I was out and about? Without a cell phone, she wouldn’t be able to reach me and I wouldn’t get any booty.
Sure there’s a 99 percent chance of me NOT getting a booty call, but still, there’s that one percent.
So based on that one percent chance, I gave in and got a cell phone.
After shopping around and checking out online the various cell phone providers, I decided on T-Mobile, which a lot of my friends here on this rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean subscribe to.
Next I had to decide on a phone and I chose the Motorola V180. The only reason why I chose it was because it was free (with service activation).
While doing my cell phone provider research, it seemed like EVERY company was offering this phone for free (with service activation). It seemed like they wanted to get rid of them like it was Anna Nicole Smith’s drunken, pre-Trimspa, hidden home sex tape.
However, I don’t know why they would offer the phone for free because the Motorola V180 seems like a good phone. The talk and standby time is excellent; it has a color screen; and it’s small and light. Plus, it helps me get one percent closer to receiving a booty call.
If there was one thing I didn’t like about the phone, it was the lack of a camera on it. But I figured I really didn’t need a camera on my phone, because I’d probably only use it to take voyeuristic photos of hot women.
(Wait, did I just admit that? I should take that out, so don’t seem creepy. Eh, I’ll just leave it in for now. I can always delete it later.)
Item: Motorola V180
Purchase Price: FREE (with service activation)
Rating: 4 out of 5
Pros: Free (with service activation). Full color screen. Long talk and standby time. I now have a one percent chance of getting a booty call.
Cons: No camera to take voyeuristic photos. Ugh…Images of a drunken, pre-Trimspa Anna Nicole Smith in my head.