Damn you, VH1â€™s I Love the 80s and I Love the 90s for sticking in my head those songs that Iâ€™d like to forget. But now theyâ€™re stuck in my head and I have the urge to buy them.
Iâ€™m a Barbie Girl/In the Barbie world/Life in plastic/Itâ€™s fantastic/You can brush my hair/Undress me everywhere/Imagination/Life is your creation/(Come on, Barbie, letâ€™s go party!)
See what you started, VH1!
Thank goodness for the iTunes Gift Card I got as a gift for Christmas. With it I can download those songs from iTunes without wasting my own money. Iâ€™d use my own money to buy some Green Day, Beastie Boys, Mozart, or Def Leppardâ€™s Greatest Hits, but you wouldnâ€™t catch me using my own money to buy â€œInformerâ€ by the white Jamaican-wannabe rapper, Snow.
Informer (something, something, something)/A licky boom boom down/(something, something, something)/A licky boom boom down
Maybe if I download them and listen to them enough, Iâ€™ll get really sick of them, like I did with the U2 song â€œVertigo.â€
Oh crap, actually, I remember that plan didnâ€™t work out the way I thought it would. It turns out that I really do like that song, I even bought the live version on iTunes. Anyway, that song is totally worth spending 99 cents, unlike Vanilla Iceâ€™s â€œIce Ice Baby.â€
All right stop, collaborate, and listen/Ice is back with my brand new invention/Something grabs a hold of me tightly/Flow like a harpoon daily and nightly/Will it ever stop? Yo, I don’t know/Turn off the lights and I’ll glow/To the extreme I rock a mic like a vandal/Light up a stage and wax a chump like a candle/Dance, go rush to the speaker that booms/I’m killing your brain like a poisonous mushroom/Deadly, when I play a dope melody/Anything less than the best is a felony/Love it or leave it, you better gain way/You better hit bull’s eye, the kid don’t play/If there was a problem, yo, I’ll solve it/Check out the hook while my DJ revolves it…
OH MY GOD! I apparently know the whole DAMN SONG!!!
Now I think one of the problems of downloading these one-hit wonders with an iTunes Gift Card is the chance youâ€™ll get caught with them on your computer or iPod. I donâ€™t want to imagine the embarrassment Iâ€™d feel if someone found me listening to Billy Ray Cyrusâ€™ â€œAchy Breaky Heartâ€ on my iPod, while poorly attempting to do some kind of line dancing.
But donâ€™t tell my heart, my achy breaky heart/I just donâ€™t think itâ€™d understand/And if you tell my heart, my achy breaky heart/He might blow up and kill this man
I also donâ€™t want to imagine the embarrassment of getting caught posing topless in front of the mirror, flexing what little muscles I have, and rubbing my nipples, while listening to Right Said Fredâ€™s â€œIâ€™m Too Sexy.â€
Iâ€™m too sexy for my shirt/Too sexy for my shirt/So sexy it hurts/And Iâ€™m too sexy for Milan/Too sexy for Milan, New York, and Japan/And Iâ€™m too sexy for your party/Too sexy for your party/No way Iâ€™m disco dancing
DAMMIT!!! Why do I remember all these lyrics!?!
Actually, now that I think about it, I donâ€™t even know if itâ€™s worth using the iTunes Gift Card to download these songs, maybe Iâ€™ll just download them the old-fashioned way…when the RIAA isnâ€™t looking.
Item: iTunes Gift Card
Purchase Price: FREE (Given as gift)
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: Makes a great gift. Allows you to buy one-hit wonders you wouldnâ€™t dare spend your own money on.
Cons: Useless if you don’t have iTunes. Possibility of getting caught rubbing nipples topless in front of mirror. My ability to recite all the lyrics from Vanilla Iceâ€™s â€œIce Ice Baby.â€