While in high school and college, I tried to learn about the opposite sex by reading my twin sister’s Seventeen, Cosmopolitan, and Marie Claire magazines.
I even took those silly quizzes. However, now that I think about it, all I’ve learned from those quizzes were; I’m a bitch and a skanky ho.
Despite reading women’s magazines, I still wasn’t very good at impressing women in high school and college. However, looking back, the permed hair I had during those years might’ve been the reason why I wasn’t successful with women.
Recently, I picked up the June 2005 issue of The Oprah Magazine, or “O†for short, because there was an interview with Jon Stewart in it and I didn’t like the quizzes offered in the other women’s magazines.
Do I really need to know how much of a flirt I am? Or, do I need to know if my man is cheating on me? I don’t think so.
Anyway, the issue I picked up is apparently the “men’s issue,†with a lot of articles about men. However, I found out that it’s strong enough for a man, but with the tampon ads, made for woman.
After reading the magazine, I didn’t learn much about the opposite sex, but I did see some nice things to buy for a girlfriend, if I had one, and I also have a newly-discovered jealousy of women’s magazines.
I’m jealous because there are frickin’ coupons in the magazine. There’s a 3 Musketeers coupon, an All laundry detergent coupon, and TWO coupons for the McDonald’s Fruit & Walnut Salad.
All we’ve got in men’s magazines are women in bikinis and lingerie, sports cars, and cool gadgets. Those are all great things, but why can’t we get some coupons too? I would totally dig some Burger King coupons or lap dance coupons.
Another cool thing about The Oprah Magazine is Oprah.
For a 51-year old woman, she is looking so fine. If Stedman wasn’t in her life, I’d be totally trying to mack with her.
You might think I’d only mack with her because she’s got a lot of money, but no, that wouldn’t be the case. I’d do it because I think she’s hot and maybe together we could have my wildest dream on her Wildest Dreams Bus.
Despite the interview with Jon Stewart, the coupons, and hot pictures of Oprah, there were a few things that bothered me about the magazine: The pictures of Dr. Phil.
Dr. Phil is a scary-looking and scary-sounding man. Just the sight of him makes my Oprah boner turn flaccid.
Item: The Oprah Magazine (June 2005 Issue)
Purchase Price: $3.95
Rating: 3.5 out of 5
Pros: Frickin’ coupons! Oprah. Jon Stewart interview.
Cons: Dr. Phil is scary (and insane).