(Editor’s Note: Welcome to Cold Week here at the Impulsive Buy. This week the Impulsive Buy will be reviewing products that you can use whenever you catch a cold. They are also products that you might want to think about putting in your shopping cart, just in case you’re pretending to be sick and you happen to run into your boss at the grocery store.)
God, I can’t find the hole!
Where’s the damn hole?
I can’t get it into the hole!
Why does this always happen to me? I can’t get it in the hole when I play golf. Can’t get the small straw into the hole of boxed juices. I can’t even get it into the right hole when I’m with a woman.
Now I can’t find the hole for this box of Campbell’s Select Gold Label Roasted Red Pepper & Tomato Soup. I’m so bad with getting things into holes, I’m surprised that I get food into my piehole.
Actually, now that I think about it, maybe it isn’t like a boxed juice and there isn’t a hole in the soup box. I guess if there was a hole, the Campbell’s Select Gold Label soup would’ve came with one of those rinky-dink boxed juice straws that makes my hands look really big and makes men with really small penises feel better about themselves.
Since there wasn’t a hole and I was hungry for soup, there was only one way I could think of to get some soup in my belly…Make my own hole and suck it up, shotgun-style. Woo!!!
Unfortunately, boxed soup tastes better when heated up and the chunks of roasted red peppers clogged up the hole I made with a small Phillips screwdriver.
After making the hole bigger and being disappointed about not being able to get the soup through the hole I originally made, I poured the rest of the soup into a pot and warmed it up over medium heat.
(Editor’s Note: Hey, remember the show Alice? I remember this one episode where a customer came into Mel’s Diner and asked if a cup of hot water was free. Mel said it was and gave him a cup of hot water. Then the customer asked if the ketchup was free. Mel said it was and gave him a bottle of ketchup. Then the customer pours the free ketchup into the free cup of hot water and makes free tomato soup. HA! That was such a classic!)
The warmed-up Campbell’s Select Gold Label Roasted Red Pepper & Tomato Soup was pretty tasty. The chipotle peppers in the soup gave it a very mild kick, but it wasn’t as even close to being spicy hot as some of the other products I’ve had with chipotle peppers.
I hate to say this, but even a drunk Anna Nicole Smith was hotter than this soup.
Well at least the soup doesn’t have the preservatives and artificial flavors like a drunk Anna Nicole Smith does. Also, unless Anna Nicole gets drunk off of Bloody Maries, the soup will also gives me a serving of vegetables.
However, with 870 milligrams of sodium per serving, the Campbell’s Select Gold Label Roasted Red Pepper & Tomato Soup is just as salty as a drunk Anna Nicole.
(Editor’s Note: Congratulations to Pel, Meg, and TaikoG for being selected as the winners of this month’s prize drawing. Pel and Meg will each receive a Hefty Serve ‘n’ Store plate and bowl set, which they can use, wash, reuse, and repeat. TaikoG will receive a copy of the book Stooples: Office Tools for Hopeless Fools, which TaikoG can either read and keep, or read and re-gift. Thank you to all who participated.
Item: Campbell’s Select Gold Label Roasted Red Pepper & Tomato Soup
Purchase Price: $3.00 (on sale)
Rating: 3.5 out of 5
Pros: Tasty. No preservatives and artificial flavors. 4 grams of dietary fiber. Low fat.
Cons: Not as spicy as I hoped with the chipotle peppers. No hole for straw. Hard to shotgun. A drunk Anna Nicole Smith is hotter than the soup. My inability to put things in holes. 870 milligrams of sodium per serving.