Hello Readers of The Impulsive Buy

I never had the chance to properly introduce myself.

I’m Ace, the new writer here at The Impulsive Buy.

You probably think I came in a mail order package from a gourmet catalog. That’s not exactly true, though I have ended up here through unlikely circumstances.

I grew up in in the part of Orange County that they don’t show you on television. I was a pretty good student as a child, earning great marks in playtime and penmanship. I played with Transformers and stuffed animals and often simulated battle royals in which they would fight to the death. I was voted “Most Likely to Succeed” in junior high, which has sadly been the crowning achievement in my life. As I developed into an angst-ridden teenager, I indulged myself in bad emo poetry and became a lazy shell of a human. I started using words like “broseph” and began to sleepwalk through high school. I ended up skating by with a 2.8 GPA and needed to retake a few classes to graduate.

I am now entering my third year at Cal State Fullerton where I am working towards an English degree. I chose the school because I thought “Tuffy the Titan” was such an adorable name for a mascot. My professors are either maniacally insane or nearly comatose, but it’s generally fun. If you live in the Orange County area, feel free to join me for coffee between my classes. I have grown weary of pretending to read the newspaper.

Am I qualified to write anything suitable for human eyes? No, not really. I have done some journalism in previous years, but nothing groundbreaking. My first gig as a writer was when my friend gave me five bucks to write his article for him, so I don’t exactly have “credentials” or anything. However, I have done pretty well in my writing classes. I am accused of being a snob, though, because I like to correct papers with a giant novelty marker and loudly proclaim “Wrong!” or “You really don’t get it, do you?” as I make every mark.

Anyways, I was a long time fan of The Impulsive Buy before I began writing here. It helped me decide to make my own blog, the generically named Here To Eat, where I wrote food pseudo-reviews for dozens upon dozens of fans. I enjoyed doing it as I was free to interject my own pointless musings while talking about chicken fried steak. I guess Marvo liked it enough to offer me a home here. Since I was already a big fan and can still write freely, it was an easy choice to make.

Anyways, that’s pretty much me in a nutshell. Now that you know me, hopefully you guys will not mistake my reviews for Marvo’s. May all good things in life happen to you and only you.

– Ace

12 thoughts to “Hello Readers of The Impulsive Buy”

  1. Hey Ace, glad to see another “Fullertonian” (yes that’s what the local paper calls us). Anyway, you’re definitely a character and I hope to see you write lots more. And btw, Pho54 rocks (although I get the beef pho. I don’t have the balls to eat tripe, I’m such a bad mexican).

  2. Hahaha…what a charming introduction!

    I mean that in the most nonMaryPoppinesque (that’s a monster of a word) way possible.

    Your reviews are great. Frozen dinner experiences seldom seem so epic and amusing. =) Keep up the awesomeness!

  3. Hello, Ace! Happy to have you.

    At least you don’t write “You’re just stupid!!” on the papers you grade. I would, though. LOL

  4. love the introduction. You should have shared the story about the personal pizza orders at school, classic eh.

  5. Great intro! I was an English major at CSUF, though I graduated three years ago. Do you get your coffee at MJ’s? Man, I really miss their coffee!

  6. Think of it this way… we all love Marvo’s reviews so if we are not paying attention to who is writing and accidentally mistake your review for his…. well that must mean you don’t suck…. er, uh, I mean that we love you too!

  7. Lea – Us Fullertonians have to stick together, what with the stupid name and all…maybe we can be like Smucker’s. And sorry about the tripe, you’re missing out. I’m actually missing out too – my friend always steals mine.

    ThatSpookyTallChick – You’re easily on my top 5 list of internet crushes. Probably only because you’ve commented on and read my reviews since way back when, but it doesn’t change how I feel.

    Webmiztris – Thanks for the warm welcome.

    Brie – Thank you, and I’m planning on becoming more and more obnoxious with my quips as I grow older.

    Frank – Holy shit, is that Frank, lead singer and badass shredder from Santa Ana supergroup Nixon Quit!? Now I KNOW I’ve made it.

    Peachy – Hello. May our lives be enriched by one another.

    ari – If you ever tell that story, I’ll have to kill you. Some secrets are too dark for this world…

    Domokun – As long as it’s above the belt, I’m cool with it. Hell…even if it’s below the belt, it’s a party right?

    sheela – Indeed I do. It’s the absolute best place to look cool while stressing out.

    Melanie Marie – Not sucking is all I’ve ever wanted out of life. But then again, I was a very depressed child.

    Tickkid – Thanks, Tickkid.

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