Costa Rican Pineapple Fizzy Lizzy

I know what you’re thinking to yourself. Who is this Lizzy? Why is she fizzy? And why can’t Lizzy take some Tums to stop making her fizzy? I could search the internet through Google, Wikipedia, or the Fizzy Lizzy website, but that would make me dizzy. However, by looking at the image on the label that probably wasn’t even modeled after Lizzy, I can figure out many things about her.

First off, Lizzy looks like she enjoys dressing like she’s from the 1920s in long sleeves and a long skirt, although that plunging neckline makes it a little more contemporary. Maybe she wears long sleeves and a long skirt because she’s “all-natural,” just like her Costa Rican Pineapple Fizzy Lizzy drink, which just consists of 37 percent triple-filtered carbonated water and 63 percent pineapple juice concentrate.

The next thing I noticed about Lizzy from the graphics on the bottle is that she either has a tree branch for a tail or likes to fart plants. This is good because it shows that she cares about the environment and loves nature, which she should since 100 percent of her Costa Rican Pineapple Fizzy Lizzy comes from nature.

(Editor’s Note: I’m pretty sure this is definitely the first AND last time Fizzy Lizzy will ever send me a product to review. Actually, I’m surprised companies keep sending us stuff.)

Another item I noticed about Lizzy from looking at the artwork on the label is that she not only loves 1920s fashion, but she also loves the original Charlie’s Angels, especially Kate Jackson, because she’s totally rocking the sexy Sabrina Duncan hairstyle. Finally, I noticed Lizzy demands perfection. I can tell this by the way she has her hands on her hips like a stern mother or a leather-clad, whip-wielding dominatrix. This perfection also shows in the quality of the Costa Rican Pineapple Fizzy Lizzy.

When I opened up the bottle, it smelled like canned pineapple juice, but its taste was not as overwhelming as pineapple juice. It was very easy to drink because it wasn’t carbonated as I thought it would be. I enjoyed it very much and it is probably the best and tastiest way to get 100% of your Vitamin C in a fizzy pineapple juice form, although before drinking it I had to do a little dance with it to mix the juice which had settled to the bottom, which bothered me because I’m nobody’s monkey, despite how hairy I am.

(Nutrition Facts – 12 ounces – 90 calories, 0 grams of fat, 0 milligrams of sodium, 23 grams of carbohydrates, 23 grams of sugar, 0 grams of protein, 100% Vitamin C, and 1 rhyming name.)

Item: Costa Rican Pineapple Fizzy Lizzy
Price: FREE (Retails for $1.49 – $1.99)
Size: 12 ounces
Purchased at: Given by Fizzy Lizzy…probably for the last time.
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Tasty and easy to drink. Sweet, but not too sweet. Pineapple wasn’t overwhelming. Low fat. Low calorie. No added sugars. The best and tastiest way to get 100% of your Vitamin C in a fizzy pineapple juice form. Name rhymes (I’m a sucker for rhymes). Sabrina Duncan.
Cons: Having to shake its hips before placing it on my lips. Twist top was difficult to take off or I’m a total wuss. Not easily available. Pineapple may not be a fruit people are willing to drink without the colada. My poor characterization of Lizzy through the artwork on the bottle.

22 thoughts to “Costa Rican Pineapple Fizzy Lizzy”

  1. Sounds pretty delicious. I wonder what happens if you rigorously shake her hips before placing the bottle to your lips…

  2. I don’t drink soda at all but this one would definitely change my mind. I love pineapple juice and it sounds very healthy. If they sold this near me, I’d buy it. And drink it.

  3. So is this a soda or a juice drink? is it from Costa Rica?
    Can you feature it in a dance vid?
    I can always dream…..

  4. d00d yoo dr4nk uh gurl n4m3d l1zzy…. s33in all of ur z’s in d3r g4v3 m3 4 h34rt 4tt4ck ffs

  5. Oh my, this sounds delicious. I really want to find some now.

    And I don’t care how good it is for the environment, farting a plant sounds like it would hurt. D:

  6. Jajaaa “I’m nobody’s monkey, despite how hairy I am”

    No she does´t have a tail, the tree branch is in her hands and her ands are on her back 😛

  7. The long sleeves and plunging neckline on her dress make her look like a flamenco dancer to me (though not her hair).

    My theory is that she goes from country to country with a travelling flamenco dance group which is actually a cover for a drug-running cartel. That’s why she’s hiding plants behind her back.

  8. Fizzy Lizzy had an axe
    And gave her mother 40 whacks
    When her father saw what she had done
    He kicked her ass for selling expensive soda pop

  9. In college, I made out with a girl named Lizzy. Except I think she spelled it Lizzie. I don’t remember how fizzy she was, but it was a lot of fun.

    I could care less about the soda. I think I’m going to go reminisce about fun experimental college days

  10. @ChrisP – I think you go to jail.

    @cybele – I think you can find at Whole Foods, so right there you know it’s expensive.

    @Karen B. – If you have a whole foods near you, they probably have it, but you might want also check other natural food stores. If you don’t know where natural foods store are in your area, just smell for the hemp.

    @NobleArc – One of the rules I live by is that I should never be too chicken to try something. That’s why I bought some high heels.

    @Chuck – Oh! She’s being whipped by a plant. Very observant.

    @Alisha – They were. Too bad I don’t have any more and can get my hands on more.

    @bikerbabeee – It’s both. It’s made in the USA. I’m not doing a dance video for this review, but I will let you know that there is one in the future.

    @Cindy – Yes, just like urine, it tastes better when it’s cold.

    @I33t h4x0r – Okay.

  11. @jon – No high fructose corn syrup at all. It’s all natural. But if you want I can add some high fructose corn syrup to it and mail it to you.

    @Nevis – It would go nice with some coconut rum or some Captain Morgan.

    @Katie – Farting a plant out is not something I would review.

    @Sass – I really do think that she is farting out a plant.

    @luckinflux – That would also explain the long dress.

    @mm – Yup, they were yummy.

    @Armauld – Oh whatever happened to shipping drugs via cocaine filled condoms.

    @Alex Lifeson – I’m sorry that rhyme is unrealistic. Fizzy Lizzy had a frickin’ axe. There’s no way her father could kick her ass because if Lizzy gave her mom 40 whacks, she must be fucking insane, and let me tell you an axe and an unstable mind equals get the fuck out of there.

    @Kylie – I was wondering if you could go into more detail about your experience with Lizzie. Be as detailed as possible, like what were you wearing, what was she wearing, what was the mood like, etc.

  12. I’ve tried most flavor of Fizzy Lizzy now and I’ve liked them all! Izze sodas are also good. They all fall under to “adult” soda idea (to me anyway); less sugar, interesting flavors.

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