The Impulsive Buy

REVIEW: BK Burger Shots

Geez, it seems like everyone is reproducing by the litter. First, it was the and now Burger King has spewed out from its flame-broiled uterus the BK Burger Shots.

I wouldn’t be surprised if TLC offered either of them a reality show on their network.

The BK Burger Shots come in either a two- or six-pack. I bought the six-pack because sometimes I like to pretend I have friends. Each shot comes with a wittle flame-broiled burger topped with a wittle bit of mustard, a wittle bit of ketchup and a pickle in between a wittle fluffy bun. Those of you who have the privilege of living near a White Castle or Krystal, and love their sliders, are probably screaming obscenities at your monitor and calling Burger King an unoriginal bastard. But those of you who don’t live near a White Castle or Krystal can now have your own Harold and Kumar adventure after smoking a big bowl of the ganja.

As you can see in the picture above, the BK Burger Shots six-pack looks like an actual set of six-pack abs, making them the newest item that looks like six-pack abs but will ironically prevent you from obtaining your own six-pack abs. It joins such products as the six-pack of beer, six-pack of soda and six-pack of butter.

From the top, they may look like individual abs, but each pair is joined at the beef so they’re actually more like Siamese twins that you have to rip apart. Once you rip them apart and look under the bun, you will channel the ghost of Clara Peller and ask out loud, “Where’s the Beef?” The burgers are round and noticeably smaller than the squarish buns they’re in, which were roughly the size of a standard dinner roll.

If you’ve had a Burger King hamburger, then you probably have an idea of what a BK Burger Shot tastes like, although I have to say that they didn’t taste as flame-broiled as their Whopper. It’s good, but there’s nothing truly special about them because they’re just smaller versions of their regular hamburger.

I think it would be so much better if Burger King pushed out of their flame-broiled womb either a six-pack of mini Whoppers or something like a White Castle slider.

(Nutrition Facts – 6 pack – 660 calories, 33 grams of fat, 13.5 grams of saturated fat, 1.5 grams of trans fat, 105 milligrams of cholesterol, 1260 milligrams of sodium, 54 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of dietary fiber, 12 grams of sugar, and 42 grams of protein.)

Item: BK Burger Shots
Price: $5.49 (retails for $4.09 in most other places)
Size: 6-pack
Purchased at: Burger King
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: Good. Comes in a two- or six-pack. Now stoners can have a Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle-like adventure. Pickles in burgers.
Cons: Nothing special since they taste like a regular BK hamburger. Seemed to taste less flame-broiled than a Whopper. Burger patties looked noticeably smaller than the buns they’re in. Will not help you obtain six-pack abs despite looking like six-pack abs. Copying White Castle and Krystal.

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