PRIZE DRAWING: Because Some of You Need More Protein In Your Diet and These Five Boxes Are Taking Up Space In My Room

Protein is one of those things our bodies need in order to…to be honest, I’m not sure what protein is used for because I have an English degree and I got a C in college biology. Actually, I got a C or worse in EVERY science class I took in college. I also got F’s in Russian 101, Accounting 201, Math 100, Anatomy 301, Anatomy 301 Lab and I think one more class. I’m surprised I earned a college degree. Actually, I take that back. I’m not surprised because to balance all of those crappy grades, I took really easy classes, like a class that involved watching television from Japan, including a censored Japanese porn flick, and comparing it with American media.

I wonder if protein helps brain development? I guess if I listened in my science classes, I would know. Well, whatever protein does, I’m giving away lots of it thanks to the folks at Promax who sent us five boxes of their all-natural Promax Cookies ‘N Cream Energy Bars, which are taking up space in my room. I would move them to the closet, but they’re really heavy and I’m a weakling. I wish there was something I could eat to help me build muscle.

Oh well.

The Impulsive Buy will be giving away one box each to five lucky winners. Each box has 12 bars and each bar contains 20 grams of protein and is full of vitamins and minerals. They also don’t contain high fructose corn syrup. Whether you’re an athlete or just someone on the go looking for a snack, these Promax bars will satisfy you.

To enter this prize drawing, just leave a comment with THIS post and in your comment include something that you need or want that isn’t money. For example, I want more Impulsive Buy readers and I really want to beat Spencer Pratt with a canoe paddle…across the head…several times…while America cheers me on.

Please fill out the email field, because I’ll be emailing the winners for their mailing addresses. The Impulsive Buy will stop accepting entries on Saturday, June 20, 2009 11:59 p.m. Hawaii Standard Time. Only one entry allowed per person (I’m keeping an eye on the IP addresses) and it’s open to EVERYONE who’s 18 years old or older.

Good luck!

Fine Print: The Impulsive Buy promises your email address will not be used to send you emails to Rickroll you. The Impulsive Buy also promises your mailing address will not be used to send you community newsletters. Bribes will not be accepted. The Impulsive Buy will not be responsible for lost mail, damaged mail, or you failing a college course.

137 thoughts to “PRIZE DRAWING: Because Some of You Need More Protein In Your Diet and These Five Boxes Are Taking Up Space In My Room”

  1. I want a strip club where you can pay a flat rate for all-you-can-sit lap dances. Never mind that it’d probably be more expensive than just buying sex somewhere.

  2. Damn, Henry’s is brilliant! Although his got fulfilled so now he has it and that would no longer meet the criteria 😛

    I want to be first.

    In all honesty?….a family of my own!!!

  3. I want to get well and not have constant pain in my arm everyday. I’d also like to have children one day.

  4. I want world peace. HAHAHAHA just kidding, I detest my fellow man, and the sooner they take each other out the better. I’d rather have some tasty Pork Lo Mein.

  5. I want Spencer & Heidi, and Jon & Kate to go the fuck away already. All of them. Just shut up and go away.

    Oh, and if the world could also stop playing “Gives You Hell” by the AAR, that’d be great.

  6. I really want to win this because I definately need to bulk up and gain some muscle!

  7. I want disco to come back. I really miss wearing platform shoes and seamless disco pants.

  8. I REALLY want my grad school interview to go well this week. Also i want marvo to post a video of the comfort wipe review. and i want a mango from india, and good luck in finding shoes today when i go shopping.

  9. I want to be able to walk in heels over 2 inches high. Wait, I can walk in them just not gracefully. I want to be able to gracefully walk in high heels.

    Thank you.

  10. I want legendary pro-wrestler, “Nature Boy” Ric Flair, to stay retired for good. I didn’t drive all the way to Orlando, wreck my car, and spend WrestleMania weekend, just to see him return for a paycheck 15 months later.

  11. I want to lose more weight on weight watchers….im down 37 pounds in 18 weeks

    also, my bro could use these bars

  12. I would really like to NOT collapse when I run my half marathon later this summer.

    Also, I do believe I will need these protein bars in order to achieve this 😀

  13. I want to get motivated enough to lose some weight and start getting in shape this year. The protein bars might help a little with the getting in shape part.

  14. I want to have more lean muscle mass. And I also want a vacation to some place tropical with yummy different food!

  15. Something I need or want that isn’t money… hrm. I could use a moving van + driver, and perhaps some burly men to load and unload the van.

  16. I want a job that doesn’t require me to work long hours behind a register explaining simple things to simple people, and doesn’t leave me with ice cream in my hair, the smell of gasoline on my shoes and my soul smudged.

  17. I want a team of trained howler monkeys to be my personal bodyguards/commando squad. They would know to follow me unobtrusively, but ready to launch into action if I am threatened.

  18. I want a new job that doesn’t make me want to strangle every person in the office 😀

  19. I want something that will capture my daughter’s interest beyond sitting at the computer all day. And pudding.

  20. Hmmm…I would like marijuana to be legalized so we can get out of this economic rescission and so I can finally get a freakin job!

  21. I want bigger muscles and free protein bars, ’cause that shit is expensive at GNC and the local discount health food store is out of business. I also want to become a personal trainer and the ruler of the universe, but I can wait on that. I want a radio station that I can listen to 24 hours a day without yelling at the announcer at least five times to shut the hell up. I’m sorry… do I sound angry?

    Love your site, Marvo!

  22. I need some alone time with Spencer Pratt to re-pay him for all of the time that has been wasted by me in my life. Certainly the additional strength gained from ingesting these protein bars would really allow me to repay him for the damage he’s done to the world….think Casino Royale and knotted rope.

  23. i want to not want for anything anymore; to be satisfied with what i have; to be happy with who i am

  24. I want laser-like powers of concentration. I get distracted too- oh! And a sugar substitute that browns like sugar does.

  25. I want a good, cheap food. That’s why I keep coming back to this website. That…and the Spencer Pratt jokes.

  26. I really want the ability to fly. But only if it comes packaged with the ability to survive frequent lighting strikes. And bird strikes. And sudden changes in wind velocity.

  27. I’d like someone to slap Kobe Bryant next time he spews off one of his canned “I love my teammates” lines or when he makes that phony angry scowl.

  28. i want to hurry and open my own cafe so i can watch the faces of my co-workers when they finally realize how much they need me here.

  29. I want one of two things:
    -to go back in time to invent stairs
    -to go foward in time to invent plasma stairs

  30. I want my best from to stop thinking he needs a million internet friends and just be happy he still has at least one real world friend left. Cause I’m the only one left that will put up with him anymore.

  31. I’m pretty sure I already said “I WANT THEM, MARVO”, via twitter. So there’s that.

    I NEED to be able to sketch on a napkin and have it sell for thousands of dollars without me dying first.

  32. I want Deborah Harry to call me onstage at the upcoming Blondie concert on July 19th and ask me to do nothing but stand next to her.

  33. I want to go back to vietman and finish the JOB oh who am I kidding im an old man now I just quess I want world peace


  34. I want out of this basement. Please. Someone send help. The oxygen is running out.

  35. I need a large turkey stuffed with seventeen double decker tacos, deep fried and covered with bacon and cheese and broiled to a golden brown…And then I will probably need a doctor.

  36. i want to start reading books again, as in novels. not brain cell killing law books.

  37. I want to win free protein bars because my doctor makes me eat protein supplements every day. They’re pretty much all gross, and I think it would be easier to suck it up and eat one knowing it was free.

    I also want a battery for my roomba because I’m lazy and I miss my robotic pet.

    In closing. PICK ME! PICK ME!

  38. I need privacy so I can eat french fried onions from the can without judgment.

  39. i really want a box of these bars because i spend 21.40 plus tax a week on think thin protein bars at trader joes

  40. I want to be smeared in mayonnaise with a car battery hooked up to my love handles so I can serenade a woman named Fraulein Humps in the key of C flat while she shaves the theory of relativity into the back of my head. She won’t cross her t’s if I don’t and I shan’t have it, I shan’t.

  41. I want to be away from Racine. I want my kitten to cuddle with me. I want a day off.

  42. I want those protein bars to be equally delicious, but more nutritious than those Hershey’s Cookies & Cream bars. Mm. I also realize the creators of those bars probably prey on people like me, making that comparison.

  43. I graduated college and don’t have a job, thus I want a job that way I will have money.

  44. I want to wake up to a hot Domino’s pizza in my bed every morning and I want science to finally invent test tube meats that are magically healthier and tastier than traditional ones.

  45. I want a modest (but waterproof) shack somewhere along Puerto Rico Highway 184, also known as the “Pork Highway” due to the fact that it’s lousy with Puerto Rican pork joints.

  46. I need my sanity back, because I’m not sure what I was thinking starting this p90x system when I can just make people think I am healthy and athletic by eating these protein bars.

  47. I really want to see what kind of dump I could take after eating a whole box of protein bars!!!

    I would also like to see my wifes face when she sees that I didnt bother to flush!!!

  48. I would really like to get a kayak, but I have nowhere to store it in my crappy apartment. Boo.

  49. I want more promax bars with protein so I can get all curvey , then boys will like me and I can get more “protein” from “all natural” sources. (winking out loud).

  50. I need a way to distinguish my wants from my needs because I need to quit needlessly devoting time to pursuing wants that I only think are needs but are merely wants.

  51. I want to save you the time and hassle of dealing with shipping because, seriously, you must live like ten minutes from this haole girl’s house

  52. I want a cookie..a cookie in the form of energy bar. Then with that energy I could solve the greatest mystery…which came first the chicken or the egg!!! Dun dun dummmm!! ;D

    Awesome post/site marvo!

  53. I really need to start working instead of reading Impulsive Buy reviews all day :-O

  54. Where to start..
    I want to be independently wealthy or just find a very rich sugar daddy who isn’t either too old or too gross….

  55. I want a liposuction machine that is small enough so I can do a little sculpting after a big meal.

  56. I want more episodes of Firefly – and access to a ready supply of Reese’s candy here in Australia

  57. I want people to stop telling me that I need more protein! Maybe if I had a huge box of protein bars, people would stop telling me that I need more protein…

  58. hi there!
    PRIZE DRAWING: Because Some of You Need More Protein In Your Diet and These Five Boxes Are Taking Up Space In My Room
    i want my family to happy,united and healthy!

  59. I want people to fight the man! (Although I suppose that “the man” includes the giant corporations that make protein bars . . . )

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