Month: June 2009

NEWS: New Popchips Flavors Make Me Pop…Down There

Marvo 10 Comments

When I first tried popchips, I thought they were missing the best potato chip flavor ever in their lineup — sour cream & onion — and hoped someday they would come out with that flavor. Fortunately James Ingram and Linda Ronstadt were correct when they sang, somewhere out there, there’s a place where dreams do come true, and I believe that place is in the test kitchens at popchips because they recently introduced a sour cream & onion popchips, along with a cheddar one.

Yes!!! My mind has the ability to make things come true.

Okay, let me imagine Oprah or Martha Stewart caressing me. No…wait!

Let me imagine Oprah AND Martha Stewart caressing me. I’d be the meat in a Millionaire Mogul Sandwich.

Come on! Come true, baby!

Like all popchips, these new flavors are all natural and have less than half the fat of fried chips. A 1 ounce serving size of each contains 120 calories, 4 grams of fat, 0.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 290 milligrams of sodium and 20 grams of carbohydrates. Both flavors come in either 3 or 0.8 ounce bags.

ANNOUNCEMENT: The Smartfood Winners Are…

Marvo 2 Comments

Here are the lucky winners of the boxes of Smartfood Popcorn Clusters:

Comment #58 Michelle Williams

Michelle will receive the box of Chocolate Cookie Caramel Pecan and the trivial piece of information stuck in her head is that 7,500 pounds of ham went down with the Titanic.

Comment #94 kp

kp won the box of Cranberry Almond and the random fact kp posted was that pillbugs have gills.

Comment #109 laura

laura will receive the box of Honey Mulitigrain and the random fact stuck in her head is that a fruitfly’s sperm is really long, although she’s not exactly sure how long, either longer than itself or longer than a human sperm.

Thanks to the folks at Frito Lay for providing the boxes of Smartfood Popcorn Clusters. Also, domo arigato to everyone who entered this prize drawing because I now have over 125 new nuggets of information stuck in my head. I feel like playing Trivial Pursuit.

REVIEW: DiGiorno Tuscan Style Chicken Crispy Flatbread Pizza

Marvo 24 Comments

If you don’t skip past the commercials in your DVR recordings, you probably know DiGiorno’s (or if you’re Canadian, Delissio’s) slogan is, “It’s not delivery. It’s DiGiorno.”

I’ve had many DiGiorno frozen pizzas over the years and pizza from either Pizza Hut, Domino’s, Papa John’s and I’ll just throw in Little Caesars for the hell of it, and I’m pretty sure no one will confuse a DiGiorno pizza with one of those other restaurant pizzas. I’m sure with one look, most people can easily tell the difference.

Besides, why would they want to be confused with a delivery pizza because there are way too many negative connotations with being a delivery pizza.

For example, delivered pizzas have a tendency to be greasier than a Wall Street financial analyst and can provide enough oil to power a biofuel car. Do they really want stigma of being confused with delivery pizza and all the porn references that go along with it? Those references involve pizza being delivered by a strapping young lad to a house that contains either a sexy cougar, teen babysitter, sorority girls, horny housewife or, in certain European countries, sheep.

Not even the new DiGiorno Tuscan Style Chicken Crispy Flatbread Pizza could be confused with a pizza delivered by someone with an insulated pizza case.

This flatbread pizza is made with grilled white meat chicken, spinach, oven-roasted tomatoes, garlic and a creamy red sauce. It smells nice, but the pizza is 11 inches in diameter, which is kind of small. The flatbread turned out crispy, but thankfully not like a cracker. Its flavor is bland and it tastes like diet Cheez-Its, which is surprising because I’ve enjoyed all of the DiGiorno pizzas I’ve tried in the past. Also, it seems like there isn’t much sauce on the pizza. I guess the saying “pizza is like sex, because it’s never bad” isn’t true because eating this pizza is like having drunk sex with a sheep — you thought it would be fun at the time, but later you’ll regret it.

If that’s not considered bad, I don’t know what is.

The only positive item I found with the DiGiorno Tuscan Style Chicken Crispy Flatbread Pizza wasn’t the pizza itself, but the plastic wrapping around it, which is extremely easy to open. Just grab the tab and pull it apart. The folks who work on the plastic packaging at DiGiorno really need to focus their attention on women’s bras.

(Nutrition Facts – 1/3 pizza – 14 grams of fat, 6 grams of saturated fat, 1 grams of trans fat, 35 milligrams of cholesterol, 680 milligrams of sodium, 25 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 2 grams of sugar, 14 grams of protein, 10% vitamin A, 25% calcium and 6% iron.)

Item: DiGiorno Tuscan Style Chicken Crispy Flatbread Pizza
Price: $6.49 (on sale)
Size: 14 ounces
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 3 out of 10
Pros: Plastic wrapping is super easy to open. Flatbread was crispy. Pizza porn. DVRs. Being able to skip through commercials.
Cons: Bland tasting. It’s like a diet Cheez-Its. At 11 inches, it doesn’t seem too big. European sheep pizza porn. Unhooking bras in the dark. Drunk sheep sex.

NEWS: Method’s New Dilutable Cleaner Is Like A Mogwai Because It Multiplies When Water Is Added

Marvo 7 Comments

Gizmo was so cute in the movie Gremlins. Those big eyes made me want to pet him and his soft fur made me want to use him as a mop to clean my floors.

If I ever get the opportunity to clean my apartment with a mogwai, I might use Method’s new Dilutable Cleaner.

Although since I would be adding water to the super concentrated cleaner and the cleaner itself contains water, Gizmo would probably multiply and Mr. Wing would come to my door and tell me that I’m not ready to properly care for a mogwai.

The Method Dilutable Cleaner only comes in once scent: citrus leaf. It cleans using eco-friendly, biodegradable ingredients like plant-based cleaners and natural mineral boosters. It’s available now in stores and comes in a 25-ounce bottle.

Bucket not included.

NEWS: Non-Flamboyant Limited Edition Ben & Jerry’s Ice Cream Honors Sir Elton John

Marvo 9 Comments

While the Ben & Jerry’s Goodbye Yellow Brickle Road ice cream isn’t new to those in Vermont, where the Ben & Jerry’s headquarters is located, because it was released there after Sir Elton John made his first-ever appearance in 2008, it’s new to the rest of us and will be available nationwide for a limited time.

Unfortunately, the packaging and ingredients aren’t close to being as flamboyant as Sir Elton John, whose wardrobe shines brighter than Disneyland’s Main Street Electrical Parade. This limited batch ice cream contains chocolate ice cream, peanut butter cookie dough, brickle candy pieces and white chocolate chunks.

It may be ice cream, but perhaps the coolest thing about the Goodbye Yellow Brickle Road is that a portion of the proceeds from it will benefit the Elton John AIDS Foundation.

A serving of it has 280 calories, 15 grams of fat, 10 grams of saturated fat, 34 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 26 grams of sugar and 4 grams of protein.

Read our review here.

On Second Scoop has a review of it.