Month: June 2009

NEWS: Cold Stone Goes All Mad Scientist On Us With Their Jell-O Pudding Ice Cream

Marvo 19 Comments

If you thought combining ice cream and cake into an ice cream cake was awesome, the new Cold Stone Creamery Jell-O Pudding Ice Cream is going to blow your mind, and I’m not talking a brain freeze kind of blow your mind. They’ve taken two Jell-O (or Jello if you’re lazy, and I am) pudding flavors, chocolate and butterscotch, and merged them with their ice cream to create a pudding/ice cream hybrid, a minotaur-ish dessert, if you will.

According to the Cold Stone website, the pudding ice cream, “…combines the smoothness and creaminess of the Cold Stone Creamery ice cream you love, with the thick and velvety texture of Jello pudding.” Also, the pudding ice cream doesn’t melt like regular ice cream, instead as it gets warmer, it turns into regular pudding.

The Jello Pudding Ice Cream will only be around until July 28 and available in two creations, Chocolate-y Goodness and Butterscotch Velvet. The prices for the pudding ice cream range from $2.49 to $3.49, excluding add-ins.

REVIEW: Method Sea Minerals Marine Naturals Body Wash

Marvo 10 Comments

Before the period in my life when I went to the beach to take voyeuristic photos of women in bikinis so that I could post them on the internet and before my current fear of taking off my shirt in public, I went to the beach to enjoy the salty air, cool blue water and the sound of crashing waves. The Method Sea Minerals Marine Naturals Body Wash reminds me of those simpler times when I wasn’t the freak on the beach with his shirt on who would have the meanest farmer’s tan and armed with a camera with a telephoto lens pretending to take photos of natural scenery.

The body wash’s pleasant fragrant and slightly salty scent reminds me of those days spent lounging and swimming at Hapuna Beach when I was a youngster and not a pervert. Sometimes I would swim out a little farther than everyone else and, while treading water, I would urinate in the Pacific Ocean with a big smile on my face. No pulling down my shorts. No aiming. Just letting it flow into the largest toilet bowl on the planet. For some reason the warm urine felt good as it escaped my body and mixed with the cold sea water. It’s a feeling I think everyone should experience, unless you’re at a beach that’s known for its regular shark sightings.

No, peeing in a swimming pool is not the same. Peeing in a swimming pool is for savages.

The Method Sea Minerals Marine Naturals Body Wash smells very similar to the Method Sea Mineral Hand Wash, but not as strong. If you’re not familiar with Method products, they are eco-friendly, haven’t been tested on animals and don’t contain ingredients that are considered to be pollutants or possible irritants, like parabens, phthalates and EDTA. One ingredient that this body wash does contain is sea salt, which gives it its slightly salty scent and is supposed to help purify the skin. But don’t expect the body wash to have granules of salt to exfoliate your skin or enough sodium to make your skin lickable to a race horse.

Because it’s eco-friendly, some people might think that it doesn’t clean as well as regular body washes, but it lathers up nicely, makes my naked body clean and leaves me smelling great in a scent that’s suitable for a man with a camera or the bikini clad woman he is secretly taking pictures of.

Item: Method Sea Minerals Marine Naturals Body Wash
Price: $6.99
Size: 18 ounces
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: Nice fragrant, slightly salty unisex scent. Sexy curvy bottle. Reminds me of the beach. Doesn’t contain harmful pollutants or irritants. Not tested on animals. Lathers up nicely. Hapuna Beach.
Cons: Pricey. Might be difficult to find. Peeing in a swimming pool. Cap might be hard to recycle. Taking voyeuristic photos of unsuspecting women in bikinis. My fear of taking off my shirt in public.

NEWS: Chick-Fil-A’s Peach Milkshake Makes Me Want To Ugh, Double-Up, Ugh, Ugh

Marvo 9 Comments

This week, Chick-Fil-A, everyone’s favorite hyphenated restaurant that specializes in chicken, introduced a limited-time-only Peach Milkshake, which is made with real peaches, is hand-spun and is topped with light whipped cream and a maraschino cherry. The special summer flavor will only be around until August 22.

I believe the Peach Milkshake will bring the boys to the yard because I’ve seen Sir Mix-a-Lot’s “Baby Got Back” music video enough to know that peaches make me want to ugh, double-up, ugh, ugh.

Or are they using nectarines in the music video? If so, then nectarines make me want to ugh, double-up, ugh, ugh.

The milkshake comes in small and large and is priced at $2.49 and $2.89, respectively. According to their website, the small size has 720 calories, 19 grams of fat, 11 grams of saturated fat, 450 milligrams of sodium, 125 grams of carbohydrates, 118 grams of sugar, 13 grams of protein, 20% vitamin A, 120% vitamin C and 45% calcium.

The large size contains 850 calories, 21 grams of fat, 13 grams of saturated fat, 540 milligrams of sodium, 153 grams of carbohydrates, 144 grams of sugar, 15 grams of protein, 25% vitamin A, 150% vitamin C and 50% calcium.

NEWS: Enjoy A 99% Cleaner Way To Eat Cinnabon With Kellogg’s Cinnabon Snack Bars

Marvo 11 Comments

Cinnabon is a staple of malls across America. Each store’s sweet, cinnamon scent is the bait that lures hungry shoppers to the cashier, who is waiting for those poor souls to cough up the cash for the gooey, sugary taste of a Cinnabon cinnamon roll topped with frosting. Armed with a fork and knife, those poor souls will cut one of those huge cinnamon rolls in half so that they can enjoy the other half later. But once the warm delectable baked good hits their tongue, they’ll decide to finish it all in one sitting because it won’t taste as good later on.

Even with a fork and knife, their hands still end up stickier than the floor at a 25 cent peep show and napkins don’t help at all. After the gluttony has ended, they’ll look down upon their sticky hands and curse Cinnabon for being so delicious, but within the following weeks they’ll repeat the journey all over again.

Or if their will is strong, they can eat the new Kellogg’s Cinnabon Snack Bars as a replacement, which are probably significantly better for them and cleaner than regular Cinnabon cinnamon rolls. But they probably aren’t as tasty, even if they warm up the snack bars like the packaging suggests.

The Cinnabon Snack Bars come in two flavors: original and caramel. One bar of the original flavor contains 150 calories, 4.5 grams of fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 130 milligrams of sodium, 26 grams of carbohydrates and 13 grams of sugar. A bar of the caramel version has 150 calories, 4 grams of fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 85 milligrams of sodium, 27 grams of carbohydrates and 14 grams of sugar.

NEWS: New Bumblebee Blast Slurpee Doesn’t Taste Like Metal, Oil and Energon

Marvo 6 Comments

I personally think Slurpee took the wrong approach with their Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen-promoting Bumblebee Blast Slurpee. I believe if they wanted to sell a Pacific Ocean’s worth of Slurpees, they should’ve come out with a flavor called Megan Fox Frost and have four collector’s cups featuring Megan Fox on the hood of Autobots like she’s Tawny Kitaen in Whitesnake’s “Here I Go Again” music video.

It really doesn’t matter what Megan Fox Frost would taste like (heck, it could be mango passion fruit flavored like the Bumblebee Blast Slurpee or whatever the flavor of Ben Gay is) because as long as there are collector’s cups featuring Megan Fox (preferably in 3-D), they would sell like bottled water on a scorching summer day. Of course, 98% percent of purchases would be made by men.

The Megan Fox-less Bumblebee Blast Slurpee has zero grams of fat, no protein and no caffeine. A 12-ounce cup has 96 calories and 25 grams of sugar; a 28-ounce serving contains 224 calories and 59 grams of sugar; and for those extreme sweettooths, a huge 40-ounce cup has 320 calories and 85 grams of sugar.