REVIEW: Limited Edition Trix Swirls Cereal

Oh man, Trix fanboys must be creaming in their pants after seeing the Limited Edition Trix Swirls Cereal. It has TWO fruity colors in every puff. If that doesn’t make Trix fanboys scream like little girls at a Jonas Brothers concert, they’re not a true Trix fanboy.

As for myself, I don’t consider myself a Trix fanboy, I prefer Fruity Pebbles. I know what you Trix fanboys are thinking, “Fruity Pebbles doesn’t even match the fruitiness of Trix and no one would’ve bought it if it weren’t tied in with the Flintstones cartoon.” Pfff…Whatever, at least with Fruity Pebbles I don’t have to eat balls of cereal. Sticking balls in your mouth? No wonder they called it Trix.

I bet you Trixxies use the phrase “silly rabbit” in normal conversation whenever you can and also think the rabbit shouldn’t get to eat Trix. Seriously, that’s really sad. What kind of sick bastard would deny the Trix Rabbit the cereal he’s named after? That’s like not giving a dog their bone or Kim Kardashian not wearing a tight outfit to deny the paparazzi from taking photos of her huge ass.

If the Trix Rabbit was in front of me right now, I would share my box of the Limited Edition Trix Swirls Cereal with him. I’d pour us a couple of bowls, pull out some spoon and then curse all those kids who wouldn’t give him Trix over the years. We’d eat those bowls and then wonder what the hell is so special about the combined flavors — Berry Berry Blue, Rasporangey Orange and Lemony Green — because the cereal smells and tastes just like regular Trix.

I’m pretty sure the Trix fanboys are saying, “Well, duh! Of course, it’s supposed to taste like Trix because it’s Trix!”

But being “Limited Edition” means there should be something special about it, like adding marshmallows or freeze-dried fruit. Just making swirled cereal pieces that don’t look like they have swirls is just lame. If I wanted a cereal that tastes like Trix, I would’ve bought a box of regular Trix.

Oh wait. If I wanted a cereal that tastes like Trix, I’d buy Fruity Pebbles and share it with the Trix Rabbit too.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 cup with 1/2 cup skim milk – 160 calories, 1 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0.5 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 0.5 grams of monounsaturated fat, less than 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 250 milligrams of sodium, 240 milligrams of potassium, 34 grams of carbohydrates, 18 grams of sugar, 5 grams of protein and a bunch of vitamins and minerals.)

Item: Limited Edition Trix Swirls Cereal
Price: $3.14
Size: 10.7 ounces
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: If you like Trix, it tastes like Trix. Fruity Pebbles is better. Letting the Trix Rabbit eat Trix. It’s a limited edition, so it will be gone soon.
Cons: It tastes like Trix, nothing special about it. Swirls idea is extremely lame. Being a bastard and not allowing the Trix Rabbit to eat Trix. Trix fanboys.

24 thoughts to “REVIEW: Limited Edition Trix Swirls Cereal”

  1. Marvo, I’ve read you for a long time, but this is my first time comment.

    Your Trix Fan Boys is genius and a great name for a band. Your SOB’s who withhold Trix from the Rabbit is also genius. And then the Mommy blog links. You’re the Einstein of amazingly bad food reviewers.

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