REVIEW: Mr. Coffee Cafe Frappe

Mr. Coffee Cafe Frappe

It seems like the holiday season came and went faster than an unsuspecting family who hoped to pick up a pet rabbit at the infamous Nevada establishment known as the Moonlite BunnyRanch. After trying to find a proper place to dispose of your Christmas tree or Hanukkah bush, it’s time to go through your loot and decide what you’re going to keep, what you’re going to regift and what is heading back to store.

When I received the Mr. Coffee Cafe Frappe, I was happy. However, I wasn’t as excited as I was Christmas 1993 when I received an amazing 16-bit gaming console known as the Sega Genesis. But needless to say, over the years I’ve become jaded, bitter and a crotchety woman. That is, of course, if I don’t have my coffee. Once I have at least one cup in my system I’m ready for the day.

The Mr. Coffee Cafe Frappe seemed like it was the perfect countertop machine for me because I love the icy treats from Starbucks and Dunkin’ Donuts, but I’m cheaper than an elderly man who insists on getting senior citizen discounts at the Moonlite BunnyRanch. In fact, I’m so cheap that when I found out Dunkin’ Donuts gives senior discounts, I was tempted to buy a Wilfred Brimley mask and go to the nearest location so that I could get my coffee fix for 50 cents cheaper. But I didn’t because I’m too cheap to buy the mask.

The Cafe Frappe is pretty easy to operate; after the coffee brews, you add two cups of ice, milk and whatever else your caffeine-powered heart desires. The pitcher makes one large serving or two smaller servings, but that is if the unit works. After making my first frappe (a coffee and mint concoction with chocolate soy milk) and cleaning the pitcher, the machine would not turn on again.

Nothing that a trip to Bed Bath & Beyond couldn’t fix, right?


Apparently this smoothie coffee maker hybrid was the hot item this year for people who buy random kitchen appliances and use them once. So a gift turned into a hunt to find a Mr. Coffee Cafe Frappe within a 50-mile radius. After finally finding one, I was able to make unique and sinful frappes like The Lady Godiva, which is tiramisu flavored coffee and a few shots of Godiva chocolate liqueur. The Cafe Frappe is a great machine to impress party guests, but it would take a lot of time to make enough for a group of people, like all of the women one can choose from at the Moonlite BunnyRanch.

Just like that Snoopy Sno-Cone Machine I had when I was just a wee little girl, I’m sure the novelty of the Mr. Coffee Cafe Frappe will wear off and become the coffee lover’s version of the Margaritaville Margarita Maker, Power Juicer and every As Seen on TV appliance.

Item: Mr. Coffee Cafe Frappe
Price: Received as gift but retails for $79.95
Purchased at: Bed Bath & Beyond
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Easy to set up. Easy to make. Coming up with your own recipes that Starbucks or Dunkin’ Donuts can’t make due to legal reasons. Wilfred Brimley Masks. Sega Genesis.
Cons: Quality of the machine isn’t the best. Doesn’t make a large quantity of frozen delicious beverages. No College Student Discount at Starbucks or Dunkin’ Donuts. Driving around to return gifts.

11 thoughts to “REVIEW: Mr. Coffee Cafe Frappe”

  1. This machine would quickly end up losing its thrill with me and be stuck hidden away in my spare bedroom walking in closet crammed with useless junk. I mean really…who would want to have a frappe everyday?

  2. Yeah, I’d probably use this once, and then forget it. But then, I don’t have coffee every single morning either, so it’s probably just me. Since I get a frappucino so rarely, I don’t mind paying Starbuck’s sky-high prices for them.

  3. Not a coffee drinker, so no dice on this product. However, speaking of As Seen on TV, I have a Magic Bullet and use it more that I would like to admit. Single serve chocolate malt, sounds good to me…

    Speaking of Sega Genesis, did you have NHL 94? One of the best sports games ever.

    1. Sadly, I did not, but NBA JAM was one of my favorites. I still quote the announcer which I think was Marv Albert saying such classic phrases like “The nail in the coffin” and “Boomshakalaka”.

  4. I think it is more of a summer coffee machine. My husband got the tassimo coffee one and it seems to work pretty well.

  5. Cartridge gaming systems ROCK! I like it when I had to blow into the cartridge to make them work. Oh, memories pre-CDs.

  6. I’m so cheap, I only drink coffee when I can get it free from the high-class coffeemaker at my church– so, I only drink coffee once a week (at best), and I love the stuff. I’m so cheap, I’m only a Starbucks-lover when someone gives me a card. And of course, I’m too cheap to buy this damn machine (although it sounds very nice). But Kayla, you can “tiramasu” with your ‘Lady Godiva’s any day…

  7. Wilfred Brimley was a President? Of what country, Cocoonica?

    I was tempted to buy a Wilfred Brimley mask and go to the nearest location so that I could get my coffee fix for 50 cents cheaper. But I didn’t because I’m too cheap to buy the mask.

    Pros: Easy to set up… Presidential Masks. Sega Genesis.

    1. That was my bad. It originally had the name of a President, but I switched it with Wilford Brimley and I didn’t change it below. Sorry, Kayla. I suck as a copy editor.

  8. Hi Kayla,

    Glad to hear you were able to find your replacement Mr. Coffee Café frappe. It sounds like you had some challenges with your first one and I’m very sorry to hear that happened. I work for Jarden Consumer Solutions and would like to learn more about your experience. Please feel free to contact me at [email protected].

    Thank you for your time.

    Jason Sterling

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