REVIEW: Mountain Dew DEWmocracy Flavors 2010 (White Out, Typhoon, Distortion)

I now know what it’s like being The Bachelor, thanks to this year’s Mountain Dew DEWmocracy flavors.

However, instead of having a harem of fame-seeking women to choose from and give roses to if I deem them to be beautiful or least craziest, I had to select between three caffeine-fortified and Durex condom-colored flavors — White Out, Typhoon and Distortion. Just like The Bachelor, I got to suck face with all of the contestants and put myself at risk for catching a disease. While The Bachelor had to worry about mono and herpes, I had to worry about diabetes and obesity.

If I were giving out roses, like The Bachelor does, to those flavors I would like to see added to the regular Mountain Dew lineup, I would give the first one to the tropical punch flavored Mountain Dew Typhoon. While those who live in the western part of the Pacific Ocean probably don’t like its name, I thought its pineapple and citrus flavor was the best tasting and most unique of the three DEWmocracy flavors. Although, as much as I liked it, I wasn’t completely blown away by it.

I’d give another rose to Mountain Dew Distortion. It looks like regular Mountain Dew, but once it’s popped open, its true self will hit your taste buds. Distortion is a “lime blasted” Mountain Dew and not only are its looks familiar, but also its flavor. It reminded me of the Taco Bell exclusive Baja Blast Mountain Dew, which I do enjoy partaking with my Taco Bell meal that most likely contains seasoned ground beef, cheese, shredded lettuce, sour cream, and refried beans in a soft tortilla. Distortion’s lime flavor was a little bit stronger than the Baja Blast, placing it slightly into the territory of sodas that taste more like floor cleaners, but I did enjoy it.

Unfortunately, I couldn’t give a rose to every flavor. So I chose not to give one to Mountain Dew White Out, which I will call, on occasion, in this paragraph, Virgin Smirnoff Ice, because it looks like Smirnoff Ice. According to the bottle, Virgin Smirnoff Ice’s flavor is described as a “smooth citrus Dew,” which I totally agree with because it tasted like a flat Sprite with tangerine/orange undertones. It’s not an exciting flavor. Mountain Dew White Out would’ve been a lot more interesting if I could get high while huffing it.

Overall, I don’t think Distortion and Virgin Smirnoff Ice were as creative as the 2008 DEWmocracy flavors. While each of the 2008 flavors combined citrus with other fruit flavors, the 2010 versions, except Typhoon, were just different shades of citrus. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to get checked for diabetes since I made out with all of the DEWmocracy contestants.

(Nutrition Facts – 20 ounces – 280 calories, 0 grams of fat, 105 milligrams of sodium, 76 grams of carbohydrates, 76 grams of sugar and 0 grams of protein.)

Item: Mountain Dew DEWmocracy Flavors 2010 (Distortion, Typhoon, White Out)
Price: $1.29 each
Size: 20 ounces
Purchased at: 7-Eleven
Rating: 6 out of 10 (Distortion)
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Typhoon)
Rating: 5 out of 10 (White Out)
Pros: Typhoon was the best tasting and most creative flavor. Distortion reminds me of Baja Blast Mountain Dew. 91 milligrams of caffeine per 20 ounce bottle. Participating in a democratic process.
Cons: Distortion tastes like floor cleaner. White Out tastes like a flat Sprite and doesn’t get one high if huffed. More ways to consume high fructose corn syrup. The crazy contestants on The Bachelor.

23 thoughts to “REVIEW: Mountain Dew DEWmocracy Flavors 2010 (White Out, Typhoon, Distortion)”

  1. I love putting freshed squeezed Lime in my Dew, so I like Distortion, but it’s not quite the same. White Out tastes like Squirt to me, which I like, but I’d rather have the real deal. And Typhoon is kinda weird, but still good.

  2. I’m not a Do the Dew type of person, although I did have it occasionally when I was supposed to be avoiding coffee and dark colored soft drinks one week. Had to get my caffeine on somehow. It seems like now, though, with all the energy drinks out there, Dew just isn’t that Xtreme anymore.

  3. How does the Typhoon flavor compare to Tahitian Treat? TT is hands down my favorite soda ever and one I dearly miss ever since I moved to the East Coast from the Midwest.

  4. I was hoping Distortion would taste similar to 7-Ups old “dnL”, so I was slightly disappointed. They should really bring that back. Typhoon tasted like something I should have been enjoying on the beach, mixed with rum. I wasn’t a huge fan of the flavor. White Out was reminiscent of original Fresca. I enjoyed it.

    White Out gets my vote.

  5. @StankMan: I’d really like to see vegetable flavored Mountain Dews for the next DEWmocracy. There will be no winners.

    @Chuck: The thing about Dew is that it’s usually cheaper than energy drink. While it may not have as much caffeine as energy drinks, I personally think it’s better tasting than most energy drinks and it comes in a bottle. Not many bottled energy drinks out there.

    @TruthCaucus: I have never had a Tahitian Treat, but I’ve had a Hawaiian Punch and I’ve been punched by a Hawaiian.

    @geewhy: I don’t know if you’ve been keeping track of the current voting results, but it’s close. So any of the flavors could end up being a regular. Or I could perhaps use the power of my blog to tip it towards Typhoon.

    @Zachary Jacob Zblewski: I agree with bringing back dnL because I also enjoyed it and I’d like to have a chance to review it, since this blog didn’t exist when it was first introduced.

  6. I live by a Dew a Day, but I have to say, I am not thrilled with the new flavors. I’m thinking that Typhoon is somewhat similar to Welch’s Fruit Punch soda, so that would have to be my fav.

    Anything other than the bland old stomach punching Coke is good for me, but I could do with a reduction in caffiene. Headaches ensue if you skip a day and don’t down your Dew!

    @marvo: definitely better than energy drinks. I can’t stand that powdery “after-texture.”

  7. Fact: I still have the Mountain Dew Dewmocracy prize pack that I won 2 years ago. At least, it’s at my parents’ house in Georgia because I didn’t find it necessary to move with me to Alaska…but I’m assuming no one threw it out.

  8. I think all three flavors where off the mark… the only one that was remotly drinkable was Typhoon. They need to bring back supernova!

  9. Even the names could be used for Durex condoms. White Out being the obvious and most disgusting out of the three.

  10. I love me some Dew, but tend to stick with Diet – I prefer to save my calories for food. So I wish we’d have a return of Ultra Violet, or a DietDewmocracy competition.

  11. I bought all three yesterday. I’m trying white out right now and I agree with the Fresca fact but mainly in smell. I don’t think it really has much of a taste.

  12. OK so I finished off the other two.

    Typhoon is way close to a carbonated version of Hawaiian Punch… slightly over sweet and sugary which coming from me is saying a lot since I’ve been known to eat ice cream and Skittles for dinner

    Distortion… a little sour… and unique… I wouldn’t want to drink it all the time though… I’d think it would be a better drink to go the route of Baja Blast and lemon Coke (hard to find)

    Overall this years DEWmocracy is not that great of a vote.

    Wonder if they’ll ever do a strawberry flavor since that’s so rare.

    1. So i dont usually enjoy reading blogs or whatever there called, but ur writing format and unique comparisons were hilarious!! I enjoyed your free write more than learning about the flavors, but not because i was bored, but because i couldnt stop laughing and the comparisons!! Great review, u write anything?

  13. @miles: Thanks! As for your question about whether I write anything else, this blog is all I write. I’ve discovered I’m only good at writing reviews with fart and sex jokes.

  14. I’ve never tried a Mtn Dew that I’ve disliked, but these are not my favorites.

    White Out tasted, to me, like Sprite with a hint of Spearmint. Someone compared it to Fresca, which is somewhat accurate. I didn’t hate it, but it was my least favorite. My least favorite of all Mountain Dew flavors, in fact. But still better than 7-Up.

    Distortion was a little bit off, not quite right. It was a tad too tart, and reminded me of Jolt. Jolt is ambiguously citrus, too, and tastes good, but there’s something too artificial about it. I would have compared it to Baja Blast, too (even before I read other comments), with the nod going to Baja Blast. But I will say this – the flavor is “interesting” and leaves me craving more. Because it almost satisfies, you need to drink more and more to get there. I would compare it to a drug or a prostitute, but I have no experience with either. Except for caffeine. I would buy Distortion again because it’s unique.

    Typhoon is my favorite of the three and I like the flavor the best. If I would have proposed the next flavor, I would have picked a tropical punch version, myself. I think it has room for improvement, though. In this case, I wish it had a bit more kick to it.

    Interestingly, none of the new flavors have concentrated orange juice in the ingredients. And my favorite MD flavors (including the original) do. I don’t know if the amount is significant, but it’s possible that for my preferences, there is a correlation.

    1. I meant to say “Vault” instead of “Jolt” in the last comment.

      In any case, someone on another blog compared Distortion to having a KEY lime flavor. I’m drinking another can right now, and I’d have to agree. I appreciate it more, now.

  15. I really like this whiteout even tho people disagree with it …it reminds them of Fresca and sprite miixed,thoses other favors I thought were too fruity..Dew has to be Extreme Dewy!..go White Out!..

  16. if you think whiteout is bad, then buy some xanté and pringles fire chips and eat them at the same time, or buy the chips and the soda version of tonic and put the chips in the grape tonic.. ewww

Comments are closed.