Month: July 2011

REVIEW: Fiber One 80 Calories Honey Squares Cereal

Stephanie 23 Comments

Fiber One 80 Calories Honey Squares

Eating high-fiber cereal has turned me into a cranky old lady. I’m not a fan of Fiber One cereal as a brand, so I wasn’t exactly excited to try this new variety, Fiber One 80 Calories Honey Squares. To be frank, this breakfast item’s only drawing power is the fact that it’s 80 calories per serving. So now it helps you shit and keeps you fit. We are indeed living in a golden age.

The problem I have with this brand is simple: Contrary to the ads, I can actually taste the fiber in Fiber One cereals. With this particular version, I had taken my cue from the appearance of the little cereal squares and was expecting something more along the lines of Golden Grahams, but alas, it was healthier than that. Much, much healthier. Which means not as delicious.

Fiber One 80 Calories Honey Squares may slightly mimic the flavor of Golden Grahams in much smaller-sized pieces, however, it looks a lot better than it tastes. The texture is grainy, bordering on cardboard. However, there is a light sweetness that almost rescues it from the depths of blandness. But what did I expect? It says right on the box that each serving contains 40 percent of your daily value of fiber. They ain’t Frosted Flakes.

I shouldn’t complain. Eating hearty, fiber-rich cereal will prolong my life, but dagnabbit, I really don’t care for the weird after-taste. It seriously ruins the experience. The more I chomp on each crunchy piece, the faster the sweetness evaporates, and I’m left with a mouthful of flavorless ground-up wheat particles. Ugh. Not to mention the other thing this cereal does. You know what I’m talking about. I’ll just say this — If you need that much help eliminating waste from your body, you have some serious problems that no amount of eensy-weensy golden fiber squares will fix on their own. Just… go take a freaking walk or something every now and then. Drink some water and eat a goddamn vegetable. Sorry, poop talk also brings out the grouch in me.

Fiber One 80 Calories Honey Squares Bowl

Which brings me to another point… Is there truly a need for Fiber One cereal that’s under 80 calories? I mean, you certainly can’t eat more than one serving of the original kind, and this leaner version is no different. You won’t get away with packing away half the box in one sitting. Try eating more than one serving of this cereal and see how long you can go before you’re doubled over with stomach cramps as the 10+ grams of fiber scour their way through your intestinal tract, leaving everything in their wake as clean as a whistle.

Fun times. In the john. On the bright side, you’re certain to feel much lighter. Wheee! Dieting is so easy! Now get off my lawn.

(Nutrition Facts – 3/4 cup – 80 calories, 5 calories from fat, 1 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0.5 grams polyunsaturated fat, 70 milligrams of potassium, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 140 milligrams of sodium, 25 grams of carbohydrates, 10 grams of fiber, 3 grams of sugar, 1 grams of protein, 40% calcium, 25% iron, and lots of vitamins and minerals.)

Item: Fiber One 80 Calories Honey Squares Cereal
Price: $2.99 (on sale)
Size: 11.75 ounces
Purchased at: Pavilions
Rating: 4 out of 10
Pros: Chock-full of fiber. Shaped liked fun mini squares. Only 80 calories per serving. Slightly sweet with Golden Grahams-like flavor.
Cons: Cardboard-like texture. Cannot (and must not) capitalize on its low number of calories by eating more of it. Not as delicious as Golden Grahams. Cranky old ladies. Good for weight loss, but the first pounds you drop may be in the can.

NEWS: Take Work Away From Starbucks Baristas By Purchasing Starbucks VIA Caramel Iced Coffee

Marvo 6 Comments

Bucko in the Snow

Update: Click here to read our Starbucks VIA Caramel Iced Coffee review

Last year, Starbucks added an iced coffee version to their VIA instant coffee line and I wrote a review so positive that it makes me sound like ABC TV Minneapolis movie critic Rusty Gatenby who the said the following about Transformers: Dark of the Moon, “Biggest action movie of the summer? How about biggest action movie EVER!”

Sounds like someone wants to be quoted in a Transformers: Dark of the Moon commercial. Oh wait, he was.

Anyhoo, my positive review of Starbucks’ VIA Iced Coffee had me hoping for a sequel from them, and they delivered.

This week, the Giant Green Coffee Machine released a new iced coffee flavor — caramel. Just like the regular VIA Iced Coffee, Starbucks VIA Caramel Flavored Ice Coffee is made using “a special blend of medium roast coffee made from 100 percent high-quality arabica beans.”

Each VIA packet makes 16 fluid ounces of iced coffee.

Oh, wait. It’s Starbucks.

Each VIA packet makes a Grande of iced coffee.

Starbucks VIA Caramel Flavored Iced Coffee is available for a limited time in 5-packs at a suggested retail price of $5.95.

NEWS: Snapple-Flavored Jelly Beans Are Made From The Best Stuff In Jelly Belly’s Factory

Marvo 6 Comments

Is there anything Snapple won’t attach itself to?

Besides the Snapple Lady.

Snapple teamed up with the reality show The Amazing Race to promote their Papaya Mango Tea. The company also worked with worked with Bret Michaels during a season of Celebrity Apprentice to create their Trop-A-Rocka flavor.

Two reality shows? My goodness. Snapple is like the Kardashian of beverage companies because if it didn’t have those reality shows, I would’ve forgotten about them.

And now they’re joining Jelly Belly to create a line of Snapple-flavored jelly beans.

The Jelly Belly Snapple Mix is made up of five Snapple flavors: Fruit Punch, Mango Madness, Cranberry Raspberry, Pink Lemonade and Kiwi Strawberry. Each jelly bean is made from real fruit juice and purees. They’re also fat free, gluten free, dairy free, certified OU Kosher, and contain no artificial coloring.

Jelly Belly Snapple Mix will be available at the Jelly Belly website later this month and in 10-lb. bulk cases at candy stores with suggested retail prices $8.99 to $9.99 per pound. Snapple also plans to release a 3.1-oz. bag with a suggested retail price of $2.49 and a 1.65-oz. Jelly Belly Snapple Bottle.

NEWS: Smurf Your Smurf With The Limited Edition The Smurfs Cereal

Marvo 2 Comments

Smurfs and Washington Monument

What the smurf?

How can the new Post Limited Edition The Smurfs Cereal not have any smurfin’ Smurf Berries? First, Optimus Prime gets a mouth in the Transformers movies. Then, no H.I.S.S. Tanks in the G.I. Joe. movie. It’s as if companies want to ruin my childhood.

The sweetened rice cereal is made up of regular boring tan cereal with Smurf blue-colored cereal. What’s so smurfy about that? You know what would’ve been totally smurfy? Post bringing back Smurf Berry Crunch. I would’ve totally smurfed Smurf Berry Crunch.

The Post Limited Edition The Smurfs Cereal comes in two different boxes. One with Papa Smurf and Smurfette drawn like the 1980s cartoon that would make Peyo proud and another with a computer generated Smurfette and another Smurf. I would totally not Smurf CGI Smurfette.

The cereal is available now and comes in 11-ounce boxes.

Source: Cereal Bits

REVIEW: Hot Sauce Pringles (Original, Chipotle & Roasted Garlic)

Marvo 10 Comments

Pringles Hot Sauce (Original, Roasted Garlic and Chipotle

When it comes to hot spicy foods, I don’t think I ask for much.

When I put it into my mouth, the capsaicin should cause my face to excessively ooze out four different bodily fluids at the same time: sweat to help cool my face, tears of pain, saliva to help cool my mouth, and snot being cleared from my nasal cavity. It should also make my tongue feel like kittens used it as a scratch post.

And then after it’s been digested and the heat is just a memory, it should make the opposite of my digestive system feel like it’s being cleaned by a bidet that shoots molten lava. The heat should make my rear yell out for Preparation H to help soothe it.

Unfortunately, the limited time only line of Hot Sauce Pringles doesn’t attain the level of heat that makes you feel like you’ve been sucking on Lucifer’s teat or a bottle of Sriracha sauce.

Like the number of hot sauces on a table at a decent Mexican restaurant, the Walmart-exclusive Hot Sauce Pringles come in three varieties: Original, Chipotle, and Roasted Garlic. Since new Pringles flavors are rare, I was extremely excited to find these flavors, so much so that I wanted to celebrate their arrival by stringing them up and then bashing them with a bat until their potato crisp goodness fell to the ground. But since Pringles tend to be fragile, I didn’t raise my bat to any of them.

Original Hot Sauce Pringles had a vinegary smell that reminded me of Ketchup Pringles. This flavor was my favorite of the three, probably because it’s the best tasting and spiciest. Its flavor was a combination of red peppers and vinegar. Its heat doesn’t show itself until a good 7-10 seconds after chewing, which I thought was a little strange.

Chipotle Hot Sauce Pringles was the least spiciest of the three, which I thought was unusual since chipotle is rated somewhere in the lower middle of the Scoville scale. But then again, chipotle isn’t listed in the ingredients. Its flavor starts off tasting somewhat like black pepper and then ending with a smoky flavor. The black pepper flavor was a slight turnoff for me, which also made it my least favorite of the three.

Before trying all three Hot Sauce Pringles flavors, I thought the Roasted Garlic Hot Sauce Pringles would be the least spiciest, but they were slightly less spicy than the Original Hot Sauce Pringles. As for how they taste, there’s definitely a garlic flavor to them and I enjoyed them, but as I ate through the can, I couldn’t help think the flavoring tasted like the powder in a McCormick chili mix packet.

Overall, the line of Hot Sauce Pringles is decent, but I think it would’ve been better if they teamed up with Tabasco to create better tasting flavors. As for spiciness, Pringles is definitely capable of creating a spicy hot flavor, but these limited time only Hot Sauce Pringles failed to impress both ends of my digestive system.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 ounce/approx. 16 crisps – Original – 140 calories, 80 calories from fat, 9 grams of fat, 2.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 230 milligrams of sodium, 15 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 1 gram of sugar, and 1 gram of protein. Chipotle – 150 calories, 80 calories from fat, 9 grams of fat, 2.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 190 milligrams of sodium, 15 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 1 gram of sugar, and 1 gram of protein. Roasted Garlic – 150 calories, 80 calories from fat, 9 grams of fat, 2.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 200 milligrams of sodium, 15 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 1 gram of sugar, and 1 gram of protein.)

Item: Hot Sauce Pringles (Original, Chipotle, & Roasted Garlic)
Price: $1.50 each
Size: 6.38 ounces
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Original)
Rating: 5 out of 10 (Chipotle)
Rating: 6 out of 10 (Roasted Garlic)
Pros: Original Hot Sauce Pringles was tasty. Roasted Garlic Hot Sauce was good. Trying new Pringles flavors. Comes in SuperStack cans. Sriracha sauce.
Cons: Their spiciness failed to impress both ends of my digestive system. Only available at Walmart. Chipotle Hot Sauce’s black pepper flavor turned me off and was the least spiciest. Oozing four different bodily fluids from my face.