Eating high-fiber cereal has turned me into a cranky old lady. I’m not a fan of Fiber One cereal as a brand, so I wasn’t exactly excited to try this new variety, Fiber One 80 Calories Honey Squares. To be frank, this breakfast item’s only drawing power is the fact that it’s 80 calories per serving. So now it helps you shit and keeps you fit. We are indeed living in a golden age.
The problem I have with this brand is simple: Contrary to the ads, I can actually taste the fiber in Fiber One cereals. With this particular version, I had taken my cue from the appearance of the little cereal squares and was expecting something more along the lines of Golden Grahams, but alas, it was healthier than that. Much, much healthier. Which means not as delicious.
Fiber One 80 Calories Honey Squares may slightly mimic the flavor of Golden Grahams in much smaller-sized pieces, however, it looks a lot better than it tastes. The texture is grainy, bordering on cardboard. However, there is a light sweetness that almost rescues it from the depths of blandness. But what did I expect? It says right on the box that each serving contains 40 percent of your daily value of fiber. They ain’t Frosted Flakes.
I shouldn’t complain. Eating hearty, fiber-rich cereal will prolong my life, but dagnabbit, I really don’t care for the weird after-taste. It seriously ruins the experience. The more I chomp on each crunchy piece, the faster the sweetness evaporates, and I’m left with a mouthful of flavorless ground-up wheat particles. Ugh. Not to mention the other thing this cereal does. You know what I’m talking about. I’ll just say this — If you need that much help eliminating waste from your body, you have some serious problems that no amount of eensy-weensy golden fiber squares will fix on their own. Justâ€¦ go take a freaking walk or something every now and then. Drink some water and eat a goddamn vegetable. Sorry, poop talk also brings out the grouch in me.
Which brings me to another point… Is there truly a need for Fiber One cereal that’s under 80 calories? I mean, you certainly can’t eat more than one serving of the original kind, and this leaner version is no different. You won’t get away with packing away half the box in one sitting. Try eating more than one serving of this cereal and see how long you can go before you’re doubled over with stomach cramps as the 10+ grams of fiber scour their way through your intestinal tract, leaving everything in their wake as clean as a whistle.
Fun times. In the john. On the bright side, you’re certain to feel much lighter. Wheee! Dieting is so easy! Now get off my lawn.
(Nutrition Facts – 3/4 cup – 80 calories, 5 calories from fat, 1 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0.5 grams polyunsaturated fat, 70 milligrams of potassium, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 140 milligrams of sodium, 25 grams of carbohydrates, 10 grams of fiber, 3 grams of sugar, 1 grams of protein, 40% calcium, 25% iron, and lots of vitamins and minerals.)
Item: Fiber One 80 Calories Honey Squares Cereal
Price: $2.99 (on sale)
Size: 11.75 ounces
Purchased at: Pavilions
Rating: 4 out of 10
Pros: Chock-full of fiber. Shaped liked fun mini squares. Only 80 calories per serving. Slightly sweet with Golden Grahams-like flavor.
Cons: Cardboard-like texture. Cannot (and must not) capitalize on its low number of calories by eating more of it. Not as delicious as Golden Grahams. Cranky old ladies. Good for weight loss, but the first pounds you drop may be in the can.