Cheetos Crunchy Salsa Con Queso es la mejor variedad de Cheetos!
Yes, I really do think Cheetos Crunchy Salsa Con Queso is the best variety of Cheetos I’ve ever had, and you should go buy some.
Now, I could just end the review right here, drop my wireless keyboard on the floor, and walk away with two Cheetos dust-covered fists in the air, but I have to elaborate because as I learned in high school debate, I can’t win an argument by only yelling, “I’m right, you’re wrong. So suck it!”
For those of you who didn’t take Spanish at any education level or don’t watch Dora the Explorer, “queso” is Spanish for “cheese,” “con” is Spanish for “with,” and “salsa” is Spanish for “salsa.”
If you’re not familiar with the different varieties of Cheetos, regular Cheetos Crunchy has a radioactive orange cheesy coating, while Cheetos Crunchy Flamin’ Hot has an evil red cheesy and spicy coating which makes the snack look as if the Devil used them as cotton swabs to clean his ears.
If you look at the closeup photo below, you’ll see these Cheetos Crunchy Salsa Con Queso look like they have a level of seasoning somewhere between the two. There’s some evil red flavoring, but it’s mostly harmless orange flavoring. Because of the dark red seasoning on these Cheetos, I thought they would be somewhat spicy, but they’re not. There’s a slight chile pepper heat to them, but if you hate the spicy, Cheetos Crunchy Salsa Con Queso plays nicely. (I’m sorry, that last sentence sounded better in my head.) At first, I was disappointed about its lack of spiciness, but the more I ate; the more I realized the heat would’ve overwhelmed the wonderful flavor of this crunchy snack.
I’ve never tasted salsa con queso, nor have I tasted the messy result of me with an open bottle of salsa in my hand tripping into someone else carrying a bowl of melted Velveeta who also tripped, leading to a “you’ve got salsa in my Velveeta and you’ve got Velveeta in my salsa” conversation, but if it tastes anything like these Cheetos Crunchy snacks, I’m going to have to clog my arteries by experiencing some real salsa con queso.
Cheetos Crunchy Salsa Con Queso’s flavor has a bit of everything Chester Cheetah is throwing into the bowl of low viscosity cheese on the packaging — tomatoes, chile peppers, and limes. Those three flavors are equally balanced and back up the cheesy flavor perfectly. They’re so good that they’re, by far, my favorite Cheetos variety, and I think, since Taco Bell and Frito-Lay have already put Fritos in a burrito and used Doritos as a taco shell, I’d like to see these Cheetos stuffed into a Gordita or Chalupa.
On the back of the bag it says, “Salsa Con Queso snacks, a flavor that will leave your taste buds begging for more,” and I have to agree with that statement. Even before I finished the first bag, I bought another. As a matter of fact, I’m eating that second bag right now as I type with just my right hand.
Oh dear, these Cheetos Crunchy Salsa Con Queso are so addictive that they’re forcing me to use my computer with only one hand. It’s as if I’m an internet porn addict.
Please take this bag away from me!
(Nutrition Facts – 1 ounce/21 pieces – 150 calories, 90 calories from fat, 10 grams of fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 220 milligrams of sodium, 13 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, less than 1 gram of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.)
Item: Cheetos Crunchy Salsa Con Queso
Price: $2.99 (on sale)
Size: 9.25 ounces
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 9 out of 10
Pros: Addictive. Balanced flavor of cheese, chile peppers, lime, and tomato. Crunchy. Would be nice in a Taco Bell menu item. Learning Spanish via Dora the Explorer.
Cons: Needs to come in a bigger bag. Perhaps too addictive. Typing with one hand because the other hand is covered in Cheetos dust. Contains MSG.