Tag: Cheetos

REVIEW: Cheese Pizza Cheetos Puffs

Amber 6 Comments

Cheese pizza-flavored Cheetos Puffs? Why not? I like Cheetos. I like pizza. Two great tastes that taste great together?

Kind of.

As soon as I opened the bag, I was walloped with the familiar scent of Cheetos, layered beneath a hint of tomato and a punch of basil.

Basil, you ask? Yep, I was equally as confused. Unless I’m ordering a margherita pizza, I don’t typically expect basil to be among the predominant flavors in my pizza, especially not a cheese pizza, which by its very nature is assumed to be pretty basic, right? And yet, its presence was undeniable. Basil just feels a bit too “fancy” for lack of a better term.

Appearance wise, these are puffy Cheetos, the same ones you’ve come to know and love… just a hint redder in their orange-ness. Never fear, though! They will leave your fingers equally cheese dusted.

And now for the part you’ve all been waiting for… how did they taste?

Exactly like they smell: Cheetos, with a hint of tomato and a heavy pinch of basil for some reason. The basil flavor really does steal the show, edging out the tomatoes and even the cheese to take center stage. Now, I don’t have anything against basil, but it really feels out of place here. Maybe if they’d been called Margherita Pizza Cheetos Puffs, or even just Pizza Cheetos Puffs, it wouldn’t seem so… wrong. I feel like calling them specifically “Cheese Pizza Cheetos Puffs” and featuring a slice of pizza on the bag with not a hint of green in sight misaligned my expectations.

I was hoping for a fond callback to my beloved Keebler Pizzarias Cheese Pizza flavored chips (RIP), instead I got some cheese, some tomato sauce, and a whole lotta basil to drown them out.

Purchased Price: $5.39
Size: 8 oz bag
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 150 calories, 10 grams of total fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 gram of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 150 milligrams of sodium, 16 grams of total carbs, less than 1 gram of dietary fiber, 1 gram of total sugar, and 2 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Cheetos Crunchy Buffalo

Vin 6 Comments

Puffy or crunchy?

Blue cheese or Ranch?

These questions have plagued humankind for… I don’t know how long, actually. I could probably research that, but I’m not here to do research. I’m here to review Cheetos Crunchy Buffalo.

Yup, we’ve got Buffalo-flavored Cheetos now – a massive win for the permanent orange-stained finger community.

At the risk of being shunned from society, I have a confession to make. I don’t worship Buffalo wings like seemingly every other dude on Earth. I like ’em. They’re fun every now and then, but I don’t inhale trays like you, Tim. I know you’re reading this, Tim.

The reason these appealed to me was not so much the Buffalo flavor but the fact they mixed said flavor with the standard Cheetos-style cheese. Sure, Buffalo and cheese isn’t exactly a novel duo, but Buffalo and that distinct Cheetos taste seemed like an interesting pairing.

My suspicions were spot on because these strike a nice balance between Buffalo sauce (do I need to capitalize Buffalo every time?) and a standard Cheeto.

The cheese acts as a chill pill for the Buffalo flavor, which I find to be a sauce that can easily go off the rails. I’ve tried Buffalo sauces that are so “Buffaloey” that they almost have an off-putting sour finish. You don’t get that here. They’re really good.

I might actually like these more than regular crunchy Cheetos.

I certainly like them more than Flamin’ Hot Cheetos, which I’m on record calling one of the most overrated snacks on Earth. These have a heat to them that probably makes them more similar to the Flamin’ Hot line than the original. On a Buffalo wing sauce scale of “Mild to ‘You’ll Hallucinate Lucifer,’” these check in at around “Comfortably Hot.” I’d put the heat level a tick below Flamin’ Hot.

Since you’re wondering, yes, I dipped them in the superior chicken wing sauce, Ranch. It worked. I don’t think I’ve ever dipped Cheetos in anything before, but adding that Ranch cooling factor made me hope for a Buffalo ranch version someday.

I’m pretty impressed. These are Cheetos with a little twist, and dare I say the twist makes them better overall. They were some of the freshest Cheetos I’ve ever had and even lingered with a pleasant spiced corn aftertaste. I don’t know why I dug that, but it was a great capper.

My one complaint was not giving Chester a new, edgy Buffalo buddy. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a buffalo in Oakleys before. They coulda named him “Butchie,” or “Bloo Cheez,” or “Dude, stop rambling and finish the review already.” I don’t know. Just something to keep in mind for the next bag.

Pick these up for sure. Hopefully, they’re successful, and Frito Lay runs the gamut on Cheetos and sauce pairings. BBQ, Ranch, Sriracha, whatever. Buffalo Cheetos made me think a lot of them would work.

Purchased Price: $4.38
Size: 8.5 oz
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (21 Pieces) 150 calories, 10 grams of fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 150 milligrams of sodium, 16 grams of total carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of total sugars, less than 1 gram of fiber, and 2 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Cheetos Flamin’ Hot Cinnamon Sugar Popcorn

Vin 7 Comments

Spicy cinnamon is a flavor profile that’s never really taken off.

Unless we’re talking pre-Great Depression era JawBreakers, Hot Tamales, Big Red gum, or a shot of the worst whiskey on the shelf, I can’t even think of anything else with that kinda burn that’s made it to the mass market.

Actually, that’s not entirely true. Back in high school, I developed a little bit of an addiction to cinnamon-flavored toothpicks. I used to chew on those Fire-pix so much that the corner of my lips started to look like bootleg Joker makeup.

The reason I bring those toothpicks up is because I needed one after eating a few handfuls of new Cheetos Flamin’ Hot Cinnamon Sugar Popcorn, a popcorn that almost turned me into a bootleg Joker because they left me wanting to watch the world burn!

Ok, that’s extreme, but this popcorn is Flamin’ Hot Garbage.

I’ll preface the review by saying I’m not the biggest fan of the “Flamin’ Hot” line from Frito Lay. I think the heat tends to alter the iconic flavors. With that said, I do like a little heat, I love cinnamon, and I dig Cheetos Sweetos. How could these possibly be a miss?

Before even getting into the flavor, this is just trash-tier popcorn. It tastes stale and has more rogue kernels than a treasonous misspelled army.

The “flavor” is the ultimate killer though.

If I reviewed these on the instant flavor burst of the very first bite… this would still be an extremely negative review.

These literally just taste like “hot.” That’s the flavor, “hot.” When you put a piece in your mouth, it’s like an air of cinnamon for half a second, and then it tastes like nothing but “hot.”

I expected these to taste like spicy Cheetos Sweetos with the sweetness still coming through. For something labeled “cinnamon sugar,” there is a blip of sweetness. Half a blip. A bl–. They barely taste like cinnamon, let alone sugar. Why couldn’t these be both sweet and hot? Have taste buds not evolved to experience both of those sensations at once?

It’s a shame because the level of heat is kinda perfect. I think it’s slightly less than the usual Flamin’ Hot stuff. I would have no problem eating a decent portion of these if they actually tasted good and weren’t popcorn rejected from the three-flavor Christmas tins. I enjoyed the after-burn feeling in my mouth more than the popcorn itself.

The pieces being bright red like regular Cheetos made me mad. The bewildering quote on the bag, “Deck the sweets with pops of heat,” made me madder. I’m not sure I’ve ever used the word “hate” in a review, but I think I hate these. I’m flamin’ hot!

Ok, ok, I’ll calm down. “Why so serious,” and whatnot. I just really wanted these to be something new and exciting.

Like my terrible book, “The Hangman’s Folly,” it was a novel idea with a totally botched execution. I’ll bump it up one for the idea, but this attempt at spicy cinnamon crashed and burned.

Purchased Price: $4.38
Size: 6.5 oz bag
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 2 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (2 1/4 Cups) 160 calories, 10 grams of fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 130 milligrams of sodium, 15 grams of total carbohydrates, 4 grams of total sugars, 2 grams of fiber, and 2 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Cheetos Pretzels

Tiffany 4 Comments

Chester the Cheetah is on a quest for snacking domination.

With his latest conquest, he sprinkled cheetle dust onto pretzels to create the new Cheetos Pretzels!

If you’re not familiar with cheetle, you definitely know of it. There’s just a name now for the cheese powder left on your fingertips after eating Chester’s creations. Cheetle. If you didn’t know, now you know.

While he seems too cool to have an evil genius muahaha laugh, it was still what I envisioned as I tried the two new offerings: Cheddar and Flamin’ Hot Pretzels. As a Flamin’ Hot fanatic, I was stoked to see a spicy version. Although, it wasn’t that surprising seeing that Flamin’ Hot is everywhere these days!

What was surprising, however, was the shape. It had been a minute since I’d consumed a classic, thick pretzel like this. Usually, I nosh on bites like Synder’s, thin Pretzel Crisps, or twists from Dot’s, but Chester went classic.

This shape probably made the most sense to retain as much seasoning as possible, and it definitely did a good job of that. Even though it was only supposed to be seasoned on one side, there was quite a bit of transfer, so everything was nicely distributed for maximum flavor with both offerings.

Unfortunately, though, the cheddar flavor tasted muted compared to regular Cheetos. My layman’s working hypothesis focuses on the base. Pretzel uses wheat, whereas regular Cheetos are on a corn base, so the wheat is somehow muting the cheddar. It also smelled kind of weird and cardboard-y, which was not an appetizing smell.

The Flamin’ Hot flavor, on the other hand, was fire! It smelled exactly like all other Flamin’ Hot flavors and tasted as expected. The pretzel surprisingly didn’t tame the heat, which was a win.

The downside to both flavors? The thick pretzel combined with cheetle made me more thirsty than usual. The gummy pretzel-ness also globbed around my molars in true pretzel fashion. By the way, I found them next to the other molar globbers in the snacking section rather than next to the other Cheetos in the chip section.

The opportunities here are limitless with this new launch. I would 100% try a soft Auntie Anne’s pretzel dusted in Flamin’ Hot.

Are any snacks safe from Chester? Methinks not.

Purchased Price: $4.38 each
Size: 10 oz bags
Rating: 8 out of 10 (Flamin’ Hot), 6 out of 10 (Cheddar)
Purchased at: Walmart
Nutrition Facts: (28g – about 10 pretzels) Flamin’ Hot – 130 calories, 5 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 360 milligrams of sodium, 19 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, less than 1 gram of sugar, and 2 grams of protein. Cheddar – 130 calories, 5 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 350 milligrams of sodium, 19 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, less than 1 gram of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Cheetos Flamin’ Hot Smoky Ghost Pepper Puffs

Brandon

I’ve never been much of one for eating something hot just for the sake of saying I did it. I don’t need a Guatemalan Insanity Pepper to make me feel macho. But I like spicy things. I usually get my Thai food “Thai hot.” I over-wasabi when I eat sushi. A little burn – when correctly applied – makes me feel alive.

While I’ve never had an ACTUAL ghost pepper, the flavor seems to have popped up everywhere over the past year plus. Burger King did an orange-bunned ghost pepper Whopper last October. Arby’s had the Diablo Dare last year, too. And within the past few months, Wendy’s has gotten in on the act with a ghost pepper sandwich and fries.

I’ve had none of these. It’s not because I’m not interested, don’t get me wrong. It’s more like if I’m not eating fast food to review for this site, I’m usually only interested in getting something tried and true. Something I know I’ll enjoy. Like everything else, fast food has gotten too expensive; my metabolism ain’t what it used to be.

The nice thing about the new Flamin’ Hot Smoky Ghost Pepper Cheetos Puffs, however, is that it’s pretty low risk — even if they’re terrible, I’m only out a single Abe Lincoln. And I don’t mind tossing a bag of chips.

(Okay, that’s a lie. I’ll hang on to it for years, slowly nibbling away and also offering them up to unsuspecting guests with a friendly, “Hey, you like to consume food. Would you like a handful of these? How about the whole bag?” Eventually, they’ll grow stale and inedible, at which point I will still have a few pieces at a time for the next three months before I finally pull the trigger on a full expulsion.)

From an appearance standpoint, you know exactly what you’re getting into with these. In addition to being shaped like peppers, they are an aggressively violent shade of red. A slight smoky vinegar aroma wafts up when you open the bag. That artificial smoke flavor is prevalent in the first second of the bite – I was surprised by that and appreciated the layered flavoring – and then the heat immediately sets your tongue on fire. There was no “slow build” here, just immediate and unapologetic mouth-arson.

If you don’t like hot, well… come on. Did you really think you might enjoy these? If you’re someone who doesn’t like chili unless it makes you weep and you end each night with half a pack of Tums, you may be unimpressed. These didn’t make me cry. They were tolerable, but even still, the hottest Cheeto (or chip or cracker) I’ve ever eaten.

Additionally, I enjoyed the fact that these weren’t just novelty-hot. There were nuanced layers of flavor and an appreciable complexity you don’t find in many other “hot” snacks. But still, a little goes a long way, so let’s not be surprised if this bag sees the next presidential election. As long as the other people in my house keep remembering to close the bag up tight, anyway.

Purchased Price: $4.30
Size: 7 oz bag
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (28 grams) 160 calories, 12 grams of fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 140 milligrams of sodium, 14 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, less than 1 gram of sugar, and 1 gram of protein.