If I were to ever start a food fight in a McDonald’s, which I’ve thought about many times in order to make the daily McDonald’s visit for the senior citizens that surround me a little more fun, I would arm myself with these McDonald’s Spicy Chicken McBites (or the regular ones, which ever were available).
Why would I choose to stock up on Chicken McBites?
If I understood physics, I could give you a detailed, equation-filled explanation about why Chicken McBites would be the best McDonald’s menu item to have in a food fight, but since I have horrible mathematical and scientific abilities that would make any Asian with perfect SAT scores shake their head in disapproval, all I can say is: Chicken McBites is good in food fight. Easy to throw. Easy to throw far. Easy to throw straight.
Now some of you might be thinking a Big Mac would be the best McDonald’s menu item in food fight because after you throw it, the sandwich splits apart and turns into a fast food buckshot, spreading two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, and a sesame seed bun everywhere. However, the beef patties and sesame seed bun aren’t very aerodynamic. Also, there’s only one Big Mac per box. With a snack size Spicy Chicken McBites there are anywhere from ten to 18 pieces you can fling at others, and with the sauces you can stain their clothes in a variety of colors.
Yes, I have put much thought into which McDonald’s items would be good in a food fight. Avoid the salads.
I don’t know if my eyes were deceiving me, but the Spicy Chicken McBites looked like they had a red tint to them, which made them appear a little ominous. The breading wasn’t light and crispy, instead it was more of a dense crunch, which I liked. The chicken inside the bigger pieces were tender, but a bit on the dry side. But, that’s par for the course when it comes to McDonald’s chicken.
The heat wasn’t too noticeable when I popped the first Spicy Chicken McBite in my mouth, but as I went through the box, the spiciness built up to a mild heat. There wasn’t any additional flavor with that spiciness. I thought they tasted like regular Chicken McBites.
However, just like McDonald’s other dippable chicken products, its flavor is all about the sauce. I didn’t ask for any of the spicy sauces, like Hot Mustard or Hot Habanero, because I thought they would overwhelm the spiciness of the McBites. Instead, I went with Sweet ‘N Sour, which I thought complemented the spiciness well. I also tried it with Tangy Barbecue, which was decent, but not as tasty.
The Spicy Chicken McBites are tasty, but the thing about them, actually Chicken McBites in general, is that when you get a box it’s either hit or miss, there’s no consistency with it. I’ve tried the snack-sized spicy and regular versions several times and, as I mentioned earlier, the number of pieces I got in each box has varied, and the same can be said about the size of the pieces. If you look at the photo above, you’ll see a lot of big meaty pieces, but when I bought another box, more than half the pieces I got were small and mostly breading.
I know part of the appeal of popcorn chicken is having those pieces that are pretty much just breading, but I feel a little ripped off when I purchase a box that’s mostly breading when the previous box wasn’t.
Sure, those smaller pieces of breading are firmer, making them ideal for inflicting a little pain during a food fight. However, I’d rather have more pieces with chicken in them just in case I want to eat them instead.
(Nutrition Facts – Snack Size – 270 calories, 17 grams of fat, 3 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 35 milligrams of cholesterol, 600 milligrams of sodium, 18 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of sugar, 0 grams of fiber, and 14 grams of protein.)
Item: McDonald’s Spicy Chicken McBites
Purchased Price: $2.99*
Size: Snack size
Purchased at: McDonald’s
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Surprisingly decent spiciness. Awesome ammunition to have in a food fight. Goes great with Sweet ‘N Sauce. Tender chicken. Comes in a variety of sizes. Dense breading has a nice crunchiness. Easy to throw. Easy to throw far. Easy to throw straight.
Cons: Tastes like regular Chicken McBites. Inconsistent meaty piece/breading piece ratio. Slightly dry chicken. Red tint makes them look a little ominous. Available for a limited time.
*Because I live on a rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, the price I paid might be higher than what you’ll pay.