SPOTTED ON SHELVES – 9/26/2013

Here are some interesting new and limited edition products found on store shelves by us and your fellow readers. If you’ve tried any of the products, share your thoughts about them in the comments.

Nestle Toll House Our Cookie of the Year Triple Chip Cookie Dough

Wha-tha-what? Your cookie of the year? Triple chip cookie dough is MY cookie of the year! (Spotted by Kelly at Redner’s.)

Nestea Liquid Water Enhancer

Your move, Lipton. (Spotted by Joshua at Target.)

Sour Patch Kids Lineups

I’m disappointed the Sour Patch Kids aren’t connected at the sides to make it look like they’re part of a suspect lineup. They should be because they assault my tongue like no other candy. (Spotted by Sara at Target.)

Smucker's Microwaveable Hot Caramel Topping

Smucker’s Hot Caramel Topping isn’t new, but Smucker’s Hot Caramel Topping in a microwaveable bottle is. All the pain of hot candle wax, but edible! Sadists rejoice! (Spotted by Sara at Walmart.)

Method Fall Collection Foaming Hang Wash

I want to get messy with some dulce de leche just so I can use Method’s Fall Collection Dulce De Leche foaming hand wash to wash it all off. (Spotted by Sylvia at Target.)

Pepperidge Farm Salsa con Queso Goldfish Puffs

I could’ve sworn we already covered these Walmart exclusive Salsa con Queso Goldfish Puffs in a previous post. But we didn’t. Maybe I imagined it after snorting crushed Goldfish Puffs. Junk Food Guy has a review. (Spotted by Pilar at Walmart.)

Thank you to all the photo contributors! If you’re out shopping and see an interesting new or limited edition product on the shelf, snap a picture of it, and send us an email ([email protected]) with where you found it and “Spotted” in the subject line. If you do so, you might see your picture in our next Spotted on Shelves post.

REVIEW: Limited Edition Jif Whipped Peanut Butter & Chocolate Mint Whips

Jif Whipped Peanut Butter & Chocolate Mint Whips

Peanut butter is so overdone these days. Much like the Scary Movie series, people have had enough of it. Every other week, there’s a new peanut butter product released that nobody wants to buy. We’ve seen it in candy bars, pretzels, ice creams, everywhere. So who would ever want to manufacture a new peanut butter product?

Jif. That’s who.

Jif recently launched Jif Whips, a line of whipped peanut butters designed to be fluffy, smooth, and easy to spread. We’ve all experienced the frustration that arises when thick, viscous peanut butter rips through the delicate surface of white bread. It’s enough to drive a man insane. In fact, one out of ten psychologists suggest that continued use of unruly peanut butter could lead to the development of paranoid schizophrenia. (Note to editor: Don’t fact check this. It’s true. Trust me.)

Jif Whipped Peanut Butter & Chocolate Mint Whips Closeup

Peeling back the lid of the resealable plastic tub, we encounter a spreadable chocolate substance bearing a striking resemblance to…dog excrement. Yes, Peanut Butter & Chocolate Mint Whips looks a lot like turds — not the most appetizing substance in the world. I sincerely hope that Jif Whips does not mirror feces in taste. (I’ve personally never tasted feces, but my dog assures me it tastes terrible.)

As I stared at the container of peanut butter-flavored dog defecation, I quickly realized that I needed some dipping materials. Thus, I began an epic exploration of my pantry and fridge to locate the perfect medium for Jif Whips. Asparagus? No. A can of Spam? Interesting idea, but no. Cat antibiotics? Umm, no.

Jif Whipped Peanut Butter & Chocolate Mint Whips Closeup2

I eventually settled on Nilla Wafers, a classic cookie offering a plain vanilla flavor. Dipping the wafer into the Jif Whips, I immediately noticed the smooth, airy texture of the whipped peanut butter.

Jif has the discovered the Holy Grail of whipped peanut butter formulas. Gone is the thick, sticky texture of peanut butter. Instead, Jif Whips offers a light and fluffy spread which easily clings to dipped foodstuffs. It will not tear your white bread, nor will it adhere to the roof of your mouth (Arachibutyrophobiacs rejoice!)

Naturally, my first reaction upon experiencing the remarkable texture of Jif Whips was to stick my nose in it. While doing so, I took note of a scent resembling a mixture of Andes Mints and Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups: a combination of chocolate and peanut butter with the subtle aroma of mint.

It was time for the taste test. I lifted my Nilla Wafer high into the air and inserted it into my buccal cavity. To the taste buds, Jif Peanut Butter & Chocolate Mint Whips begins with a rich chocolatey flavor complimented by a hint of mint, slowly evolving into a bold peanut butter taste. Neither the mint nor peanut butter flavors are overpowering. In addition, the item being dipped does not need to be smothered in Jif Whips in order for the flavor of the Whips to shine through. Overall, the mint, peanut butter, and chocolate flavors found in Jif Whips are sweet and immensely satisfying.

Although Jif Whips might not stick to your mouth like regular peanut butter, it still leaves the same mucous feeling in the back of the throat. Perhaps this is the ever-present Achilles’ heel of peanut butter products.

Once you learn to ignore the dog poop appearance, Jif Whipped Peanut Butter & Chocolate Mint Whips is surprisingly enjoyable. I don’t usually expect much from new peanut butter products. After all, peanut butter just seems so cliché. Despite my initial hesitance, Jif has knocked my socks off with both the commendable texture and flavor of Jif Whips.

I ran out of Nilla Wafers. Where’s the Spam?

(Nutrition Facts – 2 Tbsp (26 grams) – 150 calories, 100 calories from fat, 11 grams of total fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 60 milligrams of sodium, 11 grams of total carbohydrates, 1 gram of dietary fiber, 8 grams of sugars, and 3 grams of protein.)

Item: Limited Edition Jif Whipped Peanut Butter & Chocolate Mint Whips
Purchased Price: $3.79
Size: 15.9 oz.
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: Smooth, airy texture. Satisfying mint, chocolate, and peanut butter flavors. Cat antibiotics.
Cons: Dog poop appearance. Leaves mucous feeling in throat. Paranoid schizophrenia.

SPOTTED ON SHELVES – 9/25/2013

Here are some interesting new and limited edition products found on store shelves by us and your fellow readers. If you’ve tried any of the products, share your thoughts about them in the comments.

Hell's Kitchen Creme Brulee Kits

I don’t think I’ve seen Gordon Ramsay yell at someone in Hell’s Kitchen for (bleep) up creme brûlée. Risotto, yes. Beef Wellington, yes. Lamb, yes. (Spotted by Sara at Walmart.)

Emerald on the Go! Peanut Butter & Jelly

Yes! Something peanut butter and jelly flavored that has no peanut butter or jelly. It’s the future, man! (Spotted by Joshua at Walmart.)

Kraft Shake 'n Bake Seasoned Panko

But panko is sooooo much better when it’s applied ‘n fried. (Spotted by Sara at Walmart.)

Werther's Originals Baking Caramels

Werther's Original Caramel Specialties Soft Chocolate Caramel

I guess I can chew on one while waiting for the other to melt. (Spotted by Lindsay at Meijer and Sara at Walgreens.)

Nestle Drumstick Peanut Butter Variety

That vanilla one seems out of place in this box of Peanut Butter Variety Drumsticks. (Spotted by Elizabeth at Walmart.)

Thank you to all the photo contributors! If you’re out shopping and see an interesting new or limited edition product on the shelf, snap a picture of it, and send us an email ([email protected]) with where you found it and “Spotted” in the subject line. If you do so, you might see your picture in our next Spotted on Shelves post.

REVIEW: Burger King Satisfries

Burger King Satisfries

I have to admit “Satisfries” is a very clever name for Burger King’s latest addition to their sides menu. Or perhaps I should say its name gratifries my wordplay bone. Yes, I could fill this review with words that end with -fries, but the thought of that probably horrifries many. So this sentence signifries the end of me using anymore words I’ve made up using the suffix -fries.

Burger King’s Satisfries look like your typical crinkle-cut fries, but it’s what you don’t see that’s being promoted heavily by the fast food company. According to Burger King’s website in a big, bold font, Satisfries have 40 percent less fat and 30 percent less calories than McDonald’s fries. They also have 20 percent less calories and 25 percent less fat than Burger King’s classic fries, even though they’re cooked in the same fryers, same oil, for the same amount of time as the non-crinkled fries.

So what fast food magic allows Satisfries to have less fat and calories? According to Burger King, these new fries use a less porous batter to keep out more oil during cooking. So how are these crinkle-cut fries that sound like they’ve been through a culinary Oxy acne treatment?

I like them. In fact, I like them more than BK’s classic fries. Although, to be honest, I don’t think too highly of them.

Burger King Satisfries Innards

They have a better potato flavor than Burger King’s classic fries and because they’re thicker there’s a lot of hot and fluffy goodness inside. It’s almost as if they’ve been stuffed with mashed potatoes. Satisfries go great with ketchup (and Burger King’s Zesty sauce) and have a pleasant crisp exterior, however I think BK’s classic fries are crispier and salted better. The first few Satisfries I ate were salted well, but as I made my way through the sleeve, they seemed to be less salty.

However, while Satisfries have significantly less calories and fat than McDonald’s fries, I don’t think they have the flavor to make my taste buds crave them instead of McDonald’s starchy offering. They taste too similar to the frozen crinkle-cut fries I can prepare in my oven.

Burger King Satisfries Classic Fries

You also have to pay a premium for them. They’re 10 to 30 cents more expensive than Burger King’s classic fries and there’s an upcharge if you want them with your value meal.

Personally, I think Burger King should make their Satisfries the same price as their classic fries and then have the two battle it out for the hearts and wallets of consumers. The product that sells better wins and becomes Burger King’s only fries and the loser is banished from the fast food world and promises to never return, not even for a limited time, joining Burger King’s pre-2011 fries and The King mascot.

I hope Burger King’s Satisfries sell well and takes its rightful place as the fast food chain’s default fries. They’re better tasting, better for you, and have a better name than their classic fries. Also, having two different fries on the menu that have almost the same flavor profile stupefries me.

Sorry. I couldn’t help myself.

(Nutrition Facts – medium size – 340 calories, 120 calories from fat, 14 grams of fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 370 milligrams of sodium, 51 grams of carbohydrates, 4 grams of fiber, 0 grams of sugar, and 4 grams of protein.)

Item: Burger King Satisfries
Purchased Price: $2.99
Size: Medium
Purchased at: Burger King
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Better potato flavor than Burger King’s classic fries. Clever name. Less calories and fat than McDonald’s fries and BK’s classic fries. Hot and fluffy innards. Crispy exterior. Not using diversifries, exemplifries, and identifries in this review.
Cons: Pricier than Burger King’s classic fries. Not as crispy and salty as BK’s classic fries. Still not as good as McDonald’s fries. Autocorrect correcting every attempt to type Satisfries.

QUICK REVIEW: Limited Edition Pillsbury Caramel Apple Toaster Strudel

Limited Edition Pillsbury Caramel Apple Toaster Strudel

Purchased Price: $2.00 (on sale)
Size: 6 pastries
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Sweet caramel icing prevents this Toaster Strudel from headin’ on down to Blandville. Gooey filling and icing. Crispy, flaky, and slightly buttery exterior when toasted properly. Being able to sign your name on a Toaster Strudel with an icing packet.
Cons: Apple filing was light on flavor. Caramel icing has more flavor than the apple filling. Apple filling doesn’t have tiny bits of apple to add a bit more texture. Takes longer to prepare in the toaster than Pop-Tarts. Made with hydrogenated oil.

Limited Edition Pillsbury Caramel Apple Toaster Strudel Closeup

Nutrition Facts: 1 pastry with icing – 170 calories, 50 calories from fat, 6 grams of fat, 3 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat*, 1 gram of polyunsaturated fat, 2 grams of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 170 milligrams of sodium, 26 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 8 grams of sugar, 3 grams of protein.

*made with hydrogenated oil which adds a small amount of trans fat.