REVIEW: Papa John’s Mega Chocolate Chip Cookie

Papa John's Mega Chocolate Chip Cookie

Happy National Cookie Month! Break out the Oreos and snickerdoodles, because this October, we’re celebrating cookies.

Though I can find no record of the origins of this commemorative month on the Internet, it’s safe to assume its birth can be traced back to 1904, when President Theodore Roosevelt held the Nabisco Conference in Washington, D.C. There, Roosevelt mediated the signing of a peace treaty between Ambassador Pop N. Fresh of the Pillsbury Republic and Lieutenant Bertha “Mrs.” Fields of the Cookie Rebellion Army, ending a ninety year civil war. To celebrate the momentous occasion, Roosevelt signed a federal enactment declaring the month of October in honor of the newly found peace.

This year, Papa John’s will be celebrating National Cookie Month by offering to fatten you up. After you finish stuffing your face with copious amounts of grease, processed cheese, and tomato sauce, you now have the opportunity to indulge in dough and chocolate chips with the pizza chain’s new Mega Chocolate Chip Cookie. The fresh-baked, family-sized cookie regularly costs six dollars, but can be purchased for only five dollars with any pizza through October 27.

After witnessing the promotional photos of the Mega Chocolate Chip Cookie, it’s clear to me that Papa John’s is relying upon the gimmick of a cookie in pizza form. This pizza-cookie duality is familiar to me. As a child, I recall numerous kindergarteners bringing to school a “cookie pizza” for their birthdays. It was always a treat, especially when the center of the cookie failed to cook through, providing each and every tumbling tot with a yummy serving of salmonellosis. Nothing’s more entertaining than a classroom bursting with sugar-high kindergarteners suffering from explosive diarrhea.

The Mega Chocolate Chip Cookie comes packaged in a miniature pizza box. The cookie was much smaller than expected, appearing rather measly in its flimsy aluminum tin. The promotional photos had made it seem enormous, large enough to feed an entire orphanage of impoverished street urchins or a single Honey Boo Boo. What sat before me was an eight inch pan of cookie resembling a circular plate of baklava, capable of realistically feeding four to eight people of average appetite as a dessert.

Papa John's Mega Chocolate Chip Cookie Closeup

As promised, the cookie was warm, even after sitting in its cardboard box during the preceding pizza feast. In both taste and aroma, the Mega Chocolate Chip Cookie reminded me of freshly-baked Nestlé Toll House cookies. Super rich from the melty chocolate chips, the cookie possessed a soft and moist interior, evoking memories of homemade chocolate chip cookies, warm out of the oven during a cold winter.

Too often, the pleasantries of a chocolate chip cookie are ruined by a rubbery, overcooked bottom. Fortunately, even the underside of the Mega Chocolate Chip Cookie was soft. The edges of the cookie were similar to brownie edges, offering a bit more of a crunch than the center.

Papa John's Mega Chocolate Chip Cookie Slice

Warm and gooey, Papa John’s Mega Chocolate Chip Cookie is delightfully sweet and somewhat addictive. However, after gobbling up my second slice of the cookie, I found myself in desperate need of a glass of milk. The Mega Chocolate Chip Cookie is extremely dense, and will potentially clump in the back of your throat when consumed devoid of cow-juice.

I also found myself in desperate need of a copy of Richard Simmons’ Sweatin’ to the Oldies. Upon reading the nutrition facts on the Papa John’s website, I was shocked to discover that a single portion of the Mega Chocolate Chip Cookie contains 4.5 grams of saturated fat, 22 percent of the daily value. By eating two-and-a-half slices, I consumed more than half of the recommended amount of saturated fat. And that doesn’t include the pizza I ate beforehand.

As a strapping and chiseled young buck, I have to watch my figure. If I’m not careful, all of those lipids could go straight to my thighs. Then, much like Shakira, my hips won’t lie. They’ll tell the complete and unadulterated truth — that I’m a lazy, overweight American whose diet consists mostly of jelly donuts and Cheetos.

Papa John’s new Mega Chocolate Chip Cookie was a tasty treat, but I can’t see myself purchasing this cookie again in the future, especially after seeing the nutrition facts. In addition, the portion seems rather small for a price tag of five or six dollars. I could easily eat this entire tray by myself on a Friday night, slumped on the sofa while watching the movie Mannequin. (I don’t care what you think. It’s a good movie.)

If I’m looking to experience a gigantic chocolate chip cookie, I’ll gladly buy a package of Toll House cookie dough and mush it all together into one giant cookie. After all, it would taste pretty much the same as the Papa John’s Mega Chocolate Chip Cookie.

If you really must, be sure to try out the Mega Chocolate Chip Cookie while the five dollar promotion is still in effect. Grab your wallets, cookieholics.

I’m looking at you, Cookie Monster.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 Slice (39 grams) – 195 calories, 80 calories from fat, 9 grams of total fat, 4.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 13 milligrams of cholesterol, 105 milligrams of sodium, 26 grams of total carbohydrates, 1 gram of dietary fiber, 17 grams of sugars, and 2 grams of protein.)

Item: Papa John’s Mega Chocolate Chip Cookie
Purchased Price: $5.00
Size: 1 cookie (8 slices)
Purchased at: Papa John’s
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Warm, gooey, and soft. Slightly crispy edges. Ambassador Pop N. Fresh.
Cons: Extremely dense. Ridiculously fatty. Seems overpriced. Kindergarteners with salmonellosis.

23 thoughts to “REVIEW: Papa John’s Mega Chocolate Chip Cookie”

  1. i’ve seen giant cookies done b4 so it isn’t a new idea.
    Also it doesn’t fit into the theme of a pizza restaurant.

    1. I’ve seen cookies done by Pizza joints also. I’ve never understood the connection. If I’m gonna be bad it will be with pizza OR cookies, not both. That’s just wrong!

  2. I thought the presentation of the cookie and the texture was great. I thought it was way to sweet. Would have been something my kids would have loved but it was to aweet for them as well.was so hoping for a cookie that had cookie flavor instead

  3. I thought the presentation of the cookie and the texture was great. I thought it was way to sweet. Would have been something my kids would have loved but it was to aweet for them as well.was so hoping for a cookie that had cookie flavor instead of sugar flavor

  4. this cookie is an orgasam in my mouth it just melts then i swallow it !!! its sooo goooddddd youkl regret it if u dont try it!!!

  5. I just wanted to say, this post was quite entertaining.
    I love your humor and style of writing.
    I am a fan of yours. Keep up the good work!

  6. i read this article while eating a leftover piece of cookie and was laughing so hard! hillarious article and true!

  7. I went to Papa Johns to order the cookie because the Pizzas are GREAT.
    The cookie on the other hand tasted generic and not home made. I expected a little more quality since the papa Johns name is popular and the pizza’s are so good.
    Please get a new recipe.

  8. I hate PJ’s for making this stupid cookie. I am a work out fanatic and a sugar lover. Great combination, all I do is break even. I am headed to the gym now to work off at least 600 calories of the cookie I purchased last night that is gone now. By the way, I live alone and not even Sparta, my dog, gets one bite. I am addicted to it. I think I’ve purchased six of them since my first one about a month ago. Make them go away!!!!! Maybe this confession will free me. Anybody else feeling my pain?

  9. Omg, you guys think this cookie is addictive?!?? Try WORKING at Papas. Everytime this cookie comes out of the oven. I always want one, but if I make one and eat one slice I always feel so guilty. I do find it a little too sweet though, but that doesn’t stop me. One time a girl asked me to drizzle icing on it. Yuck.

  10. Why can’t I know what I want to know about his product, which is, do the ingredients of this cookie include hydrogenated oil? I avoid that poison which occurs in so many baked goods. And don’t point out the “0% Trans Fats”. The law states that any percentage between 0.0% and 0.5% can be reported as 0%. Yes Martha, D.C. has lots of lobbyists.

  11. I normally order the cookie when I’m using 50%off promo.It is overly sweet but doable when u have a sweet tooth. Definitely tollhouse cookie quality and not intended to be eaten as if you would dive into a pack of Oreos. It would be much better with walnuts in my opinion or at least less chocolate. Btw, the cookie is not chocolate “chips” It’s more like a layer of melted chocolate in the middle. My thought is unless you just want something sweet or like sweet stuff like a kid, you wont enjoy or order the cookie more than once.

  12. I tried it and thought it be great, and it was really bad. Its the same kind of flavor as a basic cheap box of cookie though. And way too much sugar that you can hardly taste any cookie. Very disappointed in this, but besides the cookie failure Papa Johns is amazing.

  13. I love the Mega chocolate chip cookie, I just wish they made a (MEGA- White Chocolate Macadamia Nut Cookie).

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