ANNOUNCEMENT: New Impulsive Buy Reviewer Caitlin

Greetings, foodies from all across the world wide interwebs! I would say fate has brought us together for some higher purpose beyond anything we could fathom, but if I’m going to start off on an honest note here, I’m obsessed with anything that’s meant for human consumption.

Science suggests we all have five common tastes: sweet, salty, sour, bitter, and the more recent umami. Sorry, meat eaters, I’m not coming here on behalf of umami by any means, and my meat consumption would probably break your heart.

I come here as a way to avoid a pressing intervention my friends and family had planned after noticing my careless spending habits and compulsive late night drives to restaurants serving pancakes. IHOP, Cracker Barrel, Denny’s, and Bob Evans all might as well share joint bank accounts with me since I spend more money on pancakes at these places than I do on clothes.

My name is Caitlin Jennings (which I had waited this long to confess so hopefully you will all be too distracted to make any Caitlyn Jenner jokes), but as a child, my nickname was Little Debbie because of my obsession with pastries. As I’ve grown up into somewhat of an adult, I’ve gone from binging on pastries to binging on pints of ice cream AND pastries.

I know there are often two camps people fall under when they love ice cream: Ben & Jerry’s or Haagen-Dazs. To clear things up, I’m team Haagen-Dazs, but grew up eating Ben & Jerry’s. In a perfect world, Ben & Jerry’s would merge with Haagen-Dazs into a beautiful ice cream company selling off the wall flavored pints with endless mix-ins and that dense, Haagen-Dazs base.

Fun fact: science suggests we all have five common tastes, but did you know they’re also fighting for the addition of two more: fat and calcium? If this is true and we have seven basic tastes, consider me your girl for all things sweet, fat, and calcium.

Unfortunately, I’ve had to balance my dreams of eating copious amounts of pancakes and ice cream with the real world. I truly eat everything under the sun — regular food items, diet food items, and all things in between. I love taro, starfruit, dragon fruit, natto, kimchi, and the list continues to grow. However, I’ve probably lost a few taste receptors from scraping off so many taste buds after a bad experience I had with durian fruit.

But worry not. They’re recovering in time for me to write up some decent food reviews for you all! Cheers to a bright future together, and here’s to hoping I’m never asked to review anything remotely as abhorrent as durian!

*clinks ice cream spoons together for dramatic effect*

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