Author: Marvo

REVIEW: KFC Cheesy Bacon Bowl

Marvo 7 Comments

KFC Cheesy Bacon Bowl

I want to mouth kiss the KFC Chickengineer who came up with the KFC Famous Bowl. I don’t care if it’s a man, woman, bionic chicken, or the computer that reads the thoughts of Colonel Sanders preserved brain, which holds the only list of all 11 secret herbs and spices.

When I find that person, I’m going to treat their mouth just as good as they treated mine when I ate their way to feed me popcorn chicken, mashed potatoes, gravy, corn, and cheese in bowl form.

I also want to mouth kiss the KFC Chickengineer who developed their new KFC Cheesy Bacon Bowl, but not because I was to thank them for creating it, but to help me get rid of all the saltiness in my mouth.

You’d think combining a KFC Famous Bowl with bacon would be one of the tastiest forms of gluttony ever and make the computer that’s hooked up to Colonel Sanders preserved brain feel the emotion of happiness, because after all, like resting my head on the bosom of a well-endowed woman, bacon makes everything better. However, with the KFC Cheesy Bacon Bowl, that’s not the case.

The bacon comes in small chopped bits and, before being eaten, my KFC Cheesy Bacon bowl looked like it was caught in a bacon hailstorm or a drunk bacon fairy went a little crazy with the bacon dust. Actually, the amount of bacon isn’t surprising because there’s a lot of everything in this bowl, especially mashed potatoes, gravy, and meaty pieces of popcorn chicken. I was surprised by how heavy the KFC Cheesy Bacon bowl was. So much so, that I felt compelled to weight it.

It’s hard to taste the bacon, because there are so many pieces to this fast food puzzle called the KFC Cheesy Bacon Bowl. It’s there, but it gets lost among the chicken and gravy. The bacon doesn’t make it better. All it really does is make it saltier, and that’s sad because I had high expectations for the combination of the KFC Famous Bowl and bacon. As matter of fact I was so eager to eat it that I forgot to take a photo of it before mowing it down with my KFC-issued spork, hence the half eaten bowl above.

However, with that said, I have to say I enjoyed the KFC Cheesy Bacon Bowl. But just as much as the original KFC Famous Bowl, because they’re pretty much the same tasty amalgamations.

(Nutrition Facts – Not available on website yet, but a regular KFC Famous Bowl has 680 calories, 280 calories from fat, 31 grams of fat, 8 grams of saturated fat, 1 gram of trans fat, 45 milligrams of cholesterol, 2,130 milligrams of sodium, 74 grams of carbohydrates, 6 grams of fiber, 3 grams of sugar, and 26 grams of protein.)

Other KFC Cheesy Bacon Bowl reviews:
Grub Grade

Item: KFC Cheesy Bacon Bowl
Price: $4.99 (most other places $3.99)
Size: More than a pound
Purchased at: KFC
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: As good as the KFC Famous Bowl. Heavy. Lots of bacon bits. Sporks. The KFC Famous Bowl. Meaty pieces of popcorn chicken. Lots of mashed potatoes. Lots of gravy.
Cons: Bacon doesn’t make it better. Bacon makes it saltier. Just as unhealthy as a KFC Famous Bowl. Not being able to meet the KFC Chickengineer who created the KFC Famous Bowl and make their mouth feel as good as they made mine.

NEWS: KFC Tries To Prove Bacon Makes Everything Better With Their Cheesy Bacon Bowl

Marvo 4 Comments

KFC Cheesy Bacon Bowl Sign

Update: Click here to read our KFC Cheesy Bacon Bowl review

The KFC Famous Bowl is one of the unhealthiest items to eat on KFC’s menu, but I have to admit the combination of mashed potatoes, gravy, corn, popcorn chicken, and shredded cheese is also one of the tastiest items to eat on KFC’s menu.

I thought there was no way to improve it, but I forgot about the power of bacon and its claim that it makes everything better. Although, while bacon has made burgers and asparagus better, it’s also been shown it doesn’t make everything better, like soda.

Well, KFC is taking that power and adding it to their KFC Famous Bowl to create the Cheesy Bacon Bowl. All the goodness of a KFC Famous Bowl, sprinkled with chopped bacon, and all for just $3.99 at participating restaurants.

If you try it, let us know what you think of it in the comments below.

By the way, here’s a commercial for it:

REVIEW: Starbucks Toasted Marshmallow Hot Cocoa Mix

Marvo 8 Comments

Starbucks Toasted Marshmallow Hot Cocoa

It’s around midnight and I’m writing this Starbucks Toasted Marshmallow Hot Cocoa Mix review outside…topless.

Why am I outside in the middle of the night half naked? Because if I want to truly appreciate this Starbucks hot cocoa, I feel like I need to drink it in a cold environment, which is difficult when one lives on a tropical island and doesn’t have air conditioning at his place.

Although it’s the middle of the night and there’s a slight breeze, the weather is still in the mid to high 70s, hence the reason why I have no shirt on. I thought I would feel cooler if I took it off, but fripples have yet to form. So here I am standing outside with the moonlight reflecting off of my pale chest, making my torso glow like it’s a bodily fluid under a black light.

I would take off more clothing, but I haven’t done laundry in a long time, so the only item of clothing that prevents me from being completely nude are the cargo shorts I have on. Also, the glowing pale parts of my body seem to be attracting bugs, so if I were to take my shorts off, I would have bugs circling around my body’s airport control tower, which is something I do not want.

Speaking of things that are milky white, in order to make a cup of Starbucks Toasted Marshmallow Hot Cocoa, the instructions say eight ounces of hot milk are needed. However, I got tri-curious and made three different cups using low-fat milk, vanilla soy milk, and water.

If you don’t have milk or soy milk and you’re too lazy to get some, water will do in a pinch, but that’s like settling for QVC during primetime TV hours because the remote control is farther than an arms length away. If you’re going to make a cup of Starbucks Toasted Marshmallow Hot Cocoa, you’ve got to make it with milk or soy milk. Don’t settle for QVC.

Starbucks Toasted Marshmallow Hot Cocoa Closeup

When milk or soy milk is used, the Starbucks Toasted Marshmallow Hot Cocoa makes me forget about the bugs landing and taking off on my pale glowing body. The cocoa flavor is rich and much better tasting than what Swiss Miss and Nestle offers. However, it’s slightly gritty. The cocoa used is ethically sourced, so if you love responsible, sustainable cocoa farming (and who doesn’t), you’ll like the cocoa in these Starbucks packets.

The dehydrated marshmallows included aren’t your typical mini round dehydrated marshmallows found in other hot cocoa mixes. They’re much larger, handcrafted, and are more like small slabs of dehydrated marshmallows. They don’t melt away easily, but when they do they add a little vanilla flavor to the hot cocoa.

A box of Starbucks Toasted Marshmallow Hot Cocoa Mix is twice as expensive as a box of Swiss Miss or Nestle hot cocoa, but I don’t think it’s two times better tasting. It’s probably more like 1 1/2 times better. But, to be honest, if I were to find myself topless in the middle of Jack Frost’s wrath, I don’t think I would care about flavor. All I would probably care about is drinking anything hot and doing something to get rid of my fripples.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 envelope not prepared – 110 calories, 15 calories from fat, 1.5 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 0 milligrams of sodium, 22 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 16 grams of sugar, 2 grams of protein, 2% calcium, and 10% iron.)

Item: Starbucks Toasted Marshmallow Hot Cocoa Mix
Price: $7.19
Size: 8 envelopes
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Better than Swiss Miss. Chocolatey. Small slabs of dehydrated marshmallows. Made with ethically sourced cocoa. Taking off clothing to thoroughly review a product.
Cons: Slightly gritty. Fripples. Twice as expensive as Swiss Miss. My pale body. When mixed with water. Taking off too much clothing to thoroughly review a product.

NEWS: Make Room In Your Belly This Holiday Season For New 3 Musketeers, M&M’s, and Snickers Varieties

Marvo 1 Comment

This December, while you’re waiting in long store checkout lines, listening to children cry as they sit on the lap of a mall Santa, and giving the stink eye to the person who grabbed the last $200 40″ HDTV right before you could, keep an eye out for new 3 Musketeers, M&M’s, and Snickers varieties.

Just like health nuts are in love with coconut water, the folks at Mars are in love with adding coconut to their popular candies, coming out with Coconut M&M’s and Coconut Twix over the past couple of years. The next candy to get knocked over the head with coconut is the 3 Musketeers candy bar. The 3 Musketeers Coconut bars will feature coconut flavor mixed into the chocolate nougat. The 1.49-ounce bars will have a suggested retail price of $1.09.

Do you like Mint M&M’s? Do you like Dark Chocolate M&M’s? If I told you Mars was combining the two to make Mint Dark Chocolate M&M’s, would it blow your mind and make you yell, “Screw my diet! Where’s my remote? Cause I’mma going to get my chocolate on!” Mint Dark Chocolate M&M’s will be available in 1.5-ounce bags with a suggested retail price of $1.09.

Finally, Mars will also release in December, Snickers 3X Chocolate 2 To Go Bars. Yes, that is one clusterfuck of a name. I’m surprised there isn’t the word “too” in its name since it has two other to..too..two. Never mind. The new candy bar with the silly name features roasted peanuts in chocolate caramel on top of chocolate nougat and covered in milk chocolate. The new candy bar with the silly name will come in 3.14-ounces bars and have a suggested price of $1.69.

ANNOUNCEMENT: McDonald’s Gift Card Winner!!!

Marvo

Here’s the winner of the $25 McDonald’s Gift Card:

Jp

In case you were wondering, Jp would like to party with Grimace.

Congratulations to Jp!

Also, thank you to all of you who participated. For those of you who are disappointed you didn’t win, we’ve got another gift card prize drawing coming up later this month. So keep an eye out for that.