Author: Marvo

NEWS: Dunkin’ Donuts, McDonald’s, and Burger King Testing Items You Might Be Able To Stuff Into Your Piehole One Day

Marvo 3 Comments

Dunkin French Toast Sandwich

When Dunkin’ Donuts came out with their Waffle Breakfast Sandwich in 2009, I began wondering when they would introduce a pancake or French toast version, and, of course, a sandwich that uses one of their donuts. Well, Dunkin’ Donuts is testing their Farmhouse French Toast Breakfast Sandwich at select locations. The sandwich is made up of ham, egg, and cheese in between two slices of French toast. The French toast bun has a thickness that’s similar to the toast that comes with Dunkin’s Big ‘N Toasty.

Next up is McDonald’s, who, according to the Sun-Sentinel, is testing a Cheddar Bacon Onion Sandwich that can be ordered with either a one-third pound Angus beef patty, crispy chicken fillet, or grilled chicken fillet. The sandwich also includes grilled onions, two cheddar cheese slices, hickory-smoked bacon, and a mustard sauce. If this ever makes it to market, I hope some gluttonous soul tries to order one with the Angus beef patty, crispy chicken fillet, and grilled chicken fillet. Oh, who am I kidding? I would be that gluttonous soul.

Finally, Grub Grade posted a report about Burger King testing several menu items in Nashville. The items include three BBQ sandwiches, sweet potato fries, frozen lemonades, and a (wait for it) bacon sundae. The three BBQ sandwiches being offered are a Carolina BBQ Whopper, Texas BBQ Whopper, and a pulled pork sandwich. Wow. I can’t believe Burger King is testing a Carolina BBQ Whopper and a pulled pork sandwich in Tennessee. It’s as if they don’t have the balls to test them in the Carolinas.

Photo courtesy of @NickL3git

REVIEW: Burger King Frappé (Caramel and Mocha)

Marvo 47 Comments

Burger King Frappes (Caramel and Mocha)

McDonald’s Frappé is a photocopy of Starbucks’ Frappuccino. So Burger King’s Frappé is a photocopy of a photocopy. Although, if I were to include Cinnabon’s Mochalatta and Dunkin’ Donuts’ Coolatta, then Burger King’s Frappé is a photocopy of a photocopy of a photocopy of a photocopy.

Do you know what happens when you photocopy a photocopy, then photocopy that photocopy, and photocopy that?

Let me explain using the following example. Let’s say I were to walk into a Kinko’s at two in the morning, go up to one of their copy machines, pull my pants down, jump up onto the copy machines, gently sit down on the glass plate, and take an awesome photocopy of my butt with its crack going perfectly down the middle of the 8 1/2 x 11 sheet of paper.

Then let’s say I further waste the machine’s toner by photocopying that perfect butt photocopy, taking the result of that, placing it into the feeding tray, photocopying it, and then wash, rinse, and repeat several times. Eventually, that perfect photocopy of my butt won’t be so perfect. My butt crack that went straight down the middle will, instead, drift to the left or right. You can still tell it’s my butt, but it isn’t quite like the original.

So, basically, the Burger King Frappé looks like a Starbucks Frappuccino, but is inferior to the original.

Like McDonald’s, BK’s Frappés come in two flavors, Caramel and Mocha, and are topped with whipped cream and drizzled with mocha or caramel syrup. Wait. Did I say drizzled? I meant splooged, like it was shot out of a fast food mayo gun. The whipped cream dollop on top of the blended coffee beverage, surprisingly, stayed perky after the 10 minute car drive in my air conditioner-less car, which is something I can’t say about the whipped cream on top of the McDonald’s Frappé.

The Burger King website says each Frappé is “made with a hint of coffee.” To be honest, I wish they were made with a KAPOW or BLAMMO of coffee because I thought the BK Frappés had less coffee flavor than the McDonald’s version. Between the two flavors, the Burger King Caramel Frappé is more guilty of hiding the coffee flavor. As someone who likes his iced coffee with lots of cream and sugar, I never thought I’d miss the bitterness of coffee.

Frappe Comparison

Now with all of that said, the Burger King Frappés are like BK’s fries, they’re decent, but I prefer the McDonald’s version. They have a pleasant smoothie consistency and, if you look at the table above, they’re slightly better for you than McDonald’s Frappés. But I really think Burger King should’ve given them a stronger coffee base and I’m disappointed they didn’t take advantage of their partnership with Seattle’s Best Coffee.

To sum up what I think of Burger King’s Frappé, I’ve created a simple formula.

Starbucks Frappuccino > McDonald’s Frappé > Burger King Frappé

And while I’m getting comparisons off my chest…

Broccoli > Carrots > Cauliflower

And…

Pandas > Penguins > Koalas

(Nutrition Facts – 12 ounces/small – 410 calories, 170 calories from fat, 19 grams of fat, 11 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 230 milligrams of sodium, 58 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 39 grams of sugar, and 3 grams of protein.)

Other Burger King Frappé reviews:
So Good Blog
Brand Eating

Item: Burger King Frappé (Caramel and Mocha)
Price: $3.29
Size: Small/12 ounces
Purchased at: Burger King
Rating: 6 out of 10 (Caramel)
Rating: 6 out of 10 (Mocha)
Pros: Decent. Less calories and sugar than McDonald’s Frappé. Perky whipped cream topping. Nice smoothie consistency. Broccoli. Pandas.
Cons: Weak coffee flavor. Not as good as McDonald’s version. Having an over-photocopied photocopy. Having to put an accent mark in frappé. Cauliflower. Koalas.

ANNOUNCEMENT: Go Vote For Food Junk For Best Food Humor Blog At Saveur’s Best Food Blog Awards

Marvo

Remember a few weeks ago when we kindly asked you to nominate The Impulsive Buy for a Saveur Magazine Best Food Blog Award?

Well, I’d like that thank all of you who nominated us. Unfortunately, we weren’t selected to vie for an award. But that’s okay because Impulsive Buy reviewer Steve and his funny Food Junk blog is a finalist for the Best Food Humor Blog Award, and it would be awesome if you voted for it.

Why?

1. Because his blog is funny and has awesome photos.

2. Steve is a really nice guy.

3. He had the balls to review 22-year-old Batman cereal.

If you want to help Food Junk, click here to visit the Saveur Food Blog Award page, then curse the internet gods for having to register at Saveur.com in order to vote (but registering takes seconds). Once you’ve done that, just go back to the Saveur Food Blog Award page, click on the “Best Food Humor Blog” category in the right hand column, and cast your vote.

Voting ends on April 26, 2012.

Thank you.

NEWS: P.F. Chang’s Home Menu Appetizers Give You The Option of Not Having To Face That Scary Horse Outside P.F. Chang’s Locations

Marvo 1 Comment

PF Chang's Home Menu Spring Rolls in freezer

I’ve been to P.F. Chang’s a couple of times. But ever since I learned about this army of stone Chinese soldiers, the stone horse outside of many P.F. Chang’s restaurants has been freaking me out and I’m afraid to go back.

However, thanks to P.F. Chang’s desire to let people experience their food at home, I’ve been able to avoid stone horses with their Home Menu frozen meal line. But the P.F. Chang’s home experience has been lacking without the option of appetizers. But that changed recently with the introduction of P.F. Chang’s Home Menu Spring Rolls and Dumplings.

The frozen appetizers come in five varieties.

General Chang’s Chicken Spring Rolls – Grilled chicken, broccoli, and cabbage.

Teriyaki Chicken Spring Rolls – Grilled chicken, cabbage, red pepper, and grilled onion..

Shrimp and Seafood Dumplings – Seafood with cabbage, scallions, and ginger.

Chicken and Vegetable Dumplings – Chicken, bok choy, and shiitake mushrooms.

Pork and Leek Dumplings – Pork, leek, cabbage, and scallions.

The spring rolls come with a packet of sweet and sour sauce, while the dumplings come with sweet soy sauce. They can be prepared on a stove or in an oven. They recommend you not microwave them, but they include microwave instructions anyway. There are five pieces in each bag.

Two Teriyaki Chicken Spring Rolls have 180 calories, 3 grams of fat, 0.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 660 milligrams of sodium, 30 grams of carbohydrates, 10 grams of sugar, and 9 grams of protein.