REVIEW: Morningstar Farms Veggie Dogs

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Morningstar Farms Veggie Dogs

To ensure you don’t think of me as a devout carnivore, who shuns meatless products, I’m going to preface this review by saying I regularly buy Morningstar Farms products.

Whenever they go on sale, I buy their Meal Starter Grillers Recipe Crumbles to replace ground beef; I usually have a box of their BBQ Riblets in my freezer for those times when I’m too lazy to cook; and I regularly purchase the Costco-sized box of their Original Sausage Patties.

I’ve tried many Morningstar Farms products and they’re all decent or better. Oh, except for their veggie bacon, which is quite disgusting and haunts my taste buds every day.

So would Morningstar Farms’ new Veggie Dogs be a new favorite or something that will torment my taste buds for years?

Oh, should point out it seems weird the Morningstar Farms Veggie Dogs box proclaims, in large sans serif letters, these veggie dogs are new, because they’re not. Morningstar Farms Veggie Dogs were around for years and then disappeared from shelves for a long time, much to the dismay of many people.

But now they’re back, baby!

I know I tasted the original Morningstar Farms Veggie Dogs, but I don’t remember what they taste like. Maybe because they were so horrible that my brain has hidden the traumatic experience deep within my mind. Or maybe I forgot because my knowledge of 1990s hip-hop lyrics wrote over the memory. But after tasting these dogs, I think it’s definitely the latter because these veggie dogs don’t make me want to spit them out.

Morningstar Farms Veggie Dogs Closeup

I guess the nicest word I could use to describe these veggie dogs is tolerable. I mean, what should I expect for something that has just 0.5 grams of fat. They look like hot dogs and have a meat-like flavor, but it’s a fraction of the flavor with regular hot dogs. However, with enough ketchup, mustard, and onions on it, with my eyes closed, and me repeatedly saying “yummy” with my mouth full, I think I could trick my mind into thinking it’s a decent hot dog.

However, they’re skinny and don’t have the same feel as a hot dog. A hot dog’s exterior coating doesn’t give as easily as these Morningstar Farms Veggie Dogs. Putting my fork through one of these dogs feels like putting a fork through unprepared SPAM. It’s a little off-putting, along with them looking like they have some kind of skin disorder.

Also, I would’ve been nice if they came in a pack of eight, like hot dog buns, but instead they came in an inconvenient pack of six.

I’ve had the misfortune of tasting two or three other brands of veggie dogs over the years. I don’t remember the brands, but just thinking of those veggie dogs make me a little nauseous because they were quite horrible. These Morningstar Farms Veggie Dogs are definitely better. But as someone who occasionally enjoys a Costco hot dog after buying a Costco-sized box of Morningstar Farms sausage patties, I can’t say they’re nearly as enjoyable as a regular hot dogs.

However, if you’re a vegetarian, you’ll probably enjoy them a lot more.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 link – 50 calories, 0 grams of fat, 0.5 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 430 milligrams of sodium, 15 milligrams of potassium, 4 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 2 grams of sugar, and 7 grams of protein.)

Item: Morningstar Farms Veggie Dogs
Purchased Price: $4.99 (on sale)
Size: 6 veggie dogs
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: Best veggie dog I’ve had. Tolerable, especially if you pile on the ketchup, mustard, and onions. Didn’t want to spit them out. Only 0.5 grams of fat. 7 grams of protein. My ability to lip-sync with 90s hip-hop.
Cons: Skinny dogs. Box contains six veggie dogs, so if you buy a pack of hot dogs buns, you’ll have two extra. Don’t have the same feel as a hot dog. They look like they have a skin disorder. Morningstar Farms Veggie Bacon.

NEWS: Buying New Tortilla Popchips May Make Katy Perry Happy

/ / Spotted on Shelves

You know how some people say they were into a band before they got popular?

Well, I was into Popchips before they got famous. I liked these heated, pressurized, and popped potato chips before the magazine articles and appearances on television. I was into them when they were hardly in any stores.

Look at Popchips now. They’re all chic, have Katy Perry to promote them, and have a new line of tortilla chips.

Yup, the pop-happy folks over at Popchips have figured out how to pop tortillas.

Tortilla Popchips come in four flavors — nacho cheese, ranch, salsa, and chili limon.

Like all other Popchips varieties they contain nothing artificial, have no trans fat, and are gluten free. A one-ounce serving of Tortilla Popchips has 120 calories, 4 grams of fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 190 or less milligrams of sodium, 20 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, and 2 grams of protein. All flavors also have 190 or less milligrams of sodium per serving.

NEWS: New Yoplait Simplait Yogurt Is Redait To End Up In Your Tummait

/ / Spotted on Shelves / 8 Comments

Update: Click here to read our Yoplait Simplait Strawberry Yogurt review

Here’s the ingredients list for Yoplait’s Strawberry Yogurt: cultured pasteurized Grade A low fat milk, sugar, strawberries, modified corn starch, nonfat milk, Kosher gelatin, citric acid, tricalcium phosphate, colored with carmine, natural flavor, pectin, vitamin A acetate, and vitamin D3.

That’s 13 ingredients.

I don’t think that’s a lot, but Yoplait is cutting that number in half with their new Yoplait Simplait Yogurt. The new variety is made from a combination of six ingredients, which include cultured pasteurized grade A milk, fruit, sugar, corn starch, natural flavor and a vegetable or fruit juice or extract or pectin.

Yoplait Simplait will start appearing on store shelves this month and come in four flavors — strawberry, vanilla, peach, and blackberry. The six-ingredient yogurt will be available in six-ounce containers, have a suggested retail price of 90 cents, and provide seven grams of protein.

Seven grams?

So if I workout, maybe eating Yoplait Simplait will help make me sexait.

SPOTTED ON SHELVES – 8/1/2012

/ / Spotted on Shelves / 4 Comments

Here are some new products found on store shelves by us and your fellow readers. We may or may not review them, but we’d like to let you know what new items are popping up. We’ll also occasionally throw in an unusual product.

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Oh yeah, 43 percent of our daily value of fiber! Fiber One Nutty Clusters & Almonds have a great nutty taste and if I eat too much, any sudden moves may make me accidentally fart in someone’s face. Forty-three percent may sound like a lot, but original Fiber One cereal provides 57 percent of our daily value of fiber. I really hope in my lifetime we see Fiber One break the 60 percent barrier.

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Lean Cuisine Veggie Cuisine have been around for over six months, but only in select regions. I’ve been looking forward to trying them for the past six months, but they only showed up recently at my local Safeway. The fake meat used in the entrees are from a company called Gardein. I’ve tried some of Gardein’s products and I thought they were tasty, although they were also a bit pricey. These Lean Cuisine Veggie Cuisine entrees are also expensive. I hope they go on sale soon.

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Simple Mornings? They probably won’t seem so simple if I’m trying to make them in the morning while getting ready for work. Along with Cinnamon Streusel, Simple Mornings also comes in Apple Cinnamon, Blueberry Streusel, Chocolate Chip, Triple Chocolate Chunk, and Wild Maine Blueberry.

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Oooh, more meat-free frozen entrees from a company whose products I usually see next to the tofu at the supermarket and completely avoid. Along with the Bella Portabella Tuscan Chik’n and Amaz’n Asian Sesame Chik’n you see above, Lightlife also offers Ole Santa Fe Chik’n and Perfecto Penne Primavera with Meatless Crumbles.

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It may be good for my prostate, but it sounds like it would be horrible for my taste buds. (Thanks for the photo, Canton!)

If you’re out shopping and see a new product on the shelf (or really unusual), snap a picture of it, email it to us at [email protected] with “Spotted” in the subject line, and you might see it in our next Spotted on Shelves post.

REVIEW: Snack Pack Bakery Shop Pudding Cups (Apple Pie a la Mode, Chocolate Cupcake, & Lemon Meringue Pie)

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Snack Pack Bakery Shop Pudding Cups

I love bakeries.

I love the smells that fart out of their ovens. No matter what it is–bread, cake, or pastries–they create an ever so tempting scent, an aromatic come hither, if you will. Following it will always lead me to a carbohydrate and sugar bedspread with a rack of luscious cupcakes and creamy pies.

It’s hard to resist the all the wonderful doughy treats with that aroma pulling me by the nose. Unfortunately, the tickling of my olfaction was something I didn’t experience with Hunt’s new Snack Pack Bakery Shop Pudding Cups.

The Snack Pack Bakery Shop line consists of five flavors: Apple Pie a la Mode, Chocolate Cupcake, Lemon Meringue Pie, Banana Cream Pie, and Sugar Cookie. Because I watch too many baking reality shows, I was disappointed to see red velvet cake wasn’t one of the flavors. Maybe it’ll end up in the second round of flavors…if there is a second round, because the three flavors I tried weren’t that impressive.

Chocolate Cupcake didn’t taste like a chocolate cupcake, but it did taste like regular chocolate pudding, which I guess isn’t a bad thing since chocolate pudding tastes good. Maybe there were little nuances my tongue didn’t catch that made it taste like a cupcake, or maybe all the chocolate cupcakes I’ve ever eaten have been shitty and they’re really supposed to taste like chocolate pudding. I don’t know.

What I do know is the top pudding layer, which I assume represents frosting, comes in the gloomy color of gray. If the picture on the packaging is correct, it looks like it should’ve been white, but it’s not. I don’t know about you, but gray isn’t an appetizing color. But then again, maybe I feel this way because I’ve seen a lot of poi here on this rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean.

The Lemon Meringue Pie flavor didn’t have any issues with gloomy pudding. Its top layer was as white as my mostly indoor-restricted body is. The lemon flavor, which comes from lemon juice concentrate, wasn’t as tangy as I hoped it would be, but I swear I could taste a bit of pie crust. The ingredients list doesn’t specifically say it contains pie crust, so I’m going to assume it falls under the vague “Natural Flavors” part of the list. It’s a nice flavor and it’s not too sweet, even though it has 18 grams of sugar per serving, but I could see someone easily mistaking this for regular lemon pudding.

My favorite of the three was Apple Pie a la Mode, even though it didn’t have any a la mode flavor. The top layer was cinnamon-y, while the bottom was mostly apple-y with a little cinnamon. There were little specks of spice floating throughout the bottom layer, but I’m not sure if that was supposed to represent cinnamon or vanilla bean. Even though the pudding’s hues look like Old Navy cargo short color options and it doesn’t really taste like apple pie, I enjoyed it the most because it had a pleasant apple cinnamon flavor and it didn’t seem like a rehash of another Snack Pack flavor.

All three flavors lack high fructose corn syrup and preservatives, and the packaging also boasts they have “0 Grams of Trans Fat Per Serving,” but that’s not really true since each flavor contains partially hydrogenated oils, which creates trans fat. (Insert science here). Unfortunately, the FDA allows trans fat levels of less than 0.5 grams per serving to be listed as 0 grams trans fat on the food label. So there’s trans fat that I wish wasn’t there.

You know what else I wish wasn’t there? The word “shop” in the name Snack Pack Bakery Shop. Who says, “bakery shop”? Not even old people say bakery shop. If I want cake, I’ll go to a bakery. If I want a car, I’m not going to go to a car dealership shop. And, if I want to buy more of these Snack Pack Bakery Shop Pudding Cups, which I probably won’t, I’m not going to go to a supermarket shop.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 pudding cup – Apple Pie a la Mode – 100 calories, 3 grams of fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat*, 125 milligrams of sodium, 18 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 13 grams of sugar, less than 1 gram of protein, and 30% calcium. Chocolate Cupcake – 110 calories, 3.5 grams of fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat*, 140 milligrams of sodium, 19 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 13 grams of sugar, 1 gram of protein, and 30% calcium. Lemon Meringue Pie – 120 calories, 2.5 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat*, 60 milligrams of sodium, 25 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 18 grams of sugar, 0 grams of protein, and 10% calcium.)

*contains partially hydrogenated oils

Item: Snack Pack Bakery Shop Pudding Cups (Apple Pie a la Mode, Chocolate Cupcake, & Lemon Meringue Pie)
Purchased Price: $1.27 each
Size: 4 pack
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 6 out of 10 (Apple Pie a la Mode)
Rating: 5 out of 10 (Chocolate Cupcake)
Rating: 5 out of 10 (Lemon Meringue Pie)
Pros: Apple Pie a la Mode doesn’t taste like a rehash of another pudding flavor. Some flavors provide 30% daily value of calcium. No HFCS. No preservatives. Chocolate pudding is still good. The crust flavor my tongue swears it tasted in the Lemon Meringue Pie.
Cons: Chocolate Cupcake tastes like any other chocolate pudding. Gray color of top layer of Chocolate Cupcake. Lemon Meringue Pie could easily be mistaken for regular lemon pudding. Contains partially hydrogenated oils. Not really adventurous flavors. Bakery Shop is redundant.

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