REVIEW: Extra Dessert Delights Orange Creme Pop Gum
When I picked up the Extra Dessert Delights Orange Creme Pop Gum, I wondered why they would call it that when there’s an Orange Creamsicle printed on the front of the packaging. And then I thought why would they create a gum that emulates something that happens to imitate something else. That something is an orange cream soda, and that something else is an Orange Creamsicle.
Now, at this point, some of you might be yelling at your computer monitor calling me an idiot because you’ve seen what’s wrong with the picture I’ve painted in my head. And some of you might be following the same wrong path my mind took while trying to figure this out. But here is where I right the ship.
“Pop” is a synonym for soda, although I’ve never called it “pop.” I’ve always called it “soda” because that’s what the fizzing voices from an open Pepsi tell me I should call it. But because I saw the word “pop” and orange cream soda exists in the world, I put two and two together and thought the gum was trying to emulate the flavor of an orange cream soda, which tries to taste like an Orange Creamsicle. Eventually, I realized that when I originally put two and two together, I got 22 when I should’ve gotten four.
For the life of me, I couldn’t figure out why the gum was named after a soda, but had a picture of an Orange Creamsicle on its packaging. I even bought a six-pack of orange cream soda, hoping that the fizzing voices from an open bottle would tell me why. The only word I heard when I put my ear next to the bottle’s neck was…Wikipedia.
I searched for “Creamsicle” on Wikipedia and was directed to the Popsicle page. Yes, a capital P with a circled R near the end to designated it as a register trademark. At this point, I realized “pop” was the non-trademarked term companies can call their frozen treats without getting letters from Unilever’s lawyers. Also at this point, I thought I shouldn’t tell anyone about my stupidity, but then I couldn’t come up with an intro for this Extra Dessert Delights Orange Creme Pop Gum review, so here we are.
Of course, this confusion could’ve been avoided if Wrigley’s teamed up with the Popsicle brand and called it “Orange Creamsicle.” Or they could’ve called it “Orange Creme Frozen Dessert Treat,” but I imagine the graphic designer designing the box would not be pleased with that horribly wordy name. Or I could’ve realized that orange cream soda is not a dessert.
The Extra Dessert Delights Orange Creme Pop Gum smells like orange Metamucil, which is something no product other than orange Metamucil should smell like. After putting the gum into my mouth it starts off with a strong orange flavor, then after several chews the creme part comes in, and it’s not bad. But after 45 seconds, its flavor dramatically drops. If I was a woman and the Extra Dessert Delights Orange Creme Pop Gum was a lover on top of me and he was done in 45 seconds, I’d be pissed.
However, since I’m a man, although with boobs, and the Extra Dessert Delights Orange Creme Pop Gum is just gum, I shouldn’t be pissed, but I am. When the flavor diminished, what I was left with was a very mild orange flavor until I decided to spit it out, or throw it into the hair of someone I think needs a haircut.
That very mild orange flavor is the major problem with it. At this point, it doesn’t taste like an orange creme frozen dessert treat. It’s just orange without the vanilla, and that folks is…vanilla.
(Nutrition Facts – 1 stick – 5 calories, 0 grams of fat, 0 milligrams of sodium, 2 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of sugar, 2 gram of sugar alcohol, and 0 grams of protein.)
Item: Extra Dessert Delights Orange Creme Pop Gum
Price: $1.19
Size: 15 sticks
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: Flavor for the first 45 seconds is not bad. It’s sugarfree gum. 5 calories per stick, which I just burned whille typing this review. Orange Creamsicles. Wikipedia.
Cons: Smells like orange Metamucil. Too much orange, but not enough creme. My slow mind. Pissing off graphic designers. Putting two and two together and getting 22. A 45 second man.
