REVIEW: Herr’s Orange Cream Pop Snack Balls

Herr s Crunchy  N Sweet Orange Cream Pop Snack Balls

What are Herr’s Orange Cream Pop Snack Balls?

I’m 70% sure this is how this product was developed:

“Ok, what flavor are we making these new orange crunchy balls?”

“How about orange?”

“Don’t be so obvious, Jim. Anybody else? Ideas? Anything? No? OK, orange it is!”

Hence, we have Herr’s Orange Cream Pop Snack Balls – orange cream-flavored, orb-shaped puffs.

How are they?

The aroma in the bag is straight-up, not-screwing-around-with-subtlety orange. After cracking it open, I left the room and could smell them when I walked back in. Not the Epcot Soarin’ orange grove mist variety, more like candy or soda. I liked it, but it’s hardcore fakey-fake.

Herr s Crunchy  N Sweet Orange Cream Pop Snack Balls 2 Back

Ironically, they’re not even orange – they’re cream-colored with orange flecks.

Herr s Crunchy  N Sweet Orange Cream Pop Snack Balls 3 Balls

I expected the flavor to be a sweet/savory combo, since I associate the puff format with cheese, but these were all sweet with just the slightest hint of savory from the puff base.

The orange was much more laid back in taste than aroma. The cream was definitely present, along with a wheaty/baked flavor, which gave the whole thing a breakfast-cereal vibe. I thought about dumping them in milk, but it only occurred to me after I’d finished them all. Whoops.

Herr s Crunchy  N Sweet Orange Cream Pop Snack Balls 4 Closeup

Is there anything else you need to know?

No day-glo dust means no orange fingers. No one would even know these hands just pawed through an entire bag!

Herr s Crunchy  N Sweet Orange Cream Pop Snack Balls 5 Fingers

Conclusion:

These were tasty, and a novel flavor I haven’t seen in this form. Not Epcot-orange, but a fun snack that’s worth a try. I binge-ate them.

Purchased Price: $2.49
Size: 6 oz. bag
Purchased at: Five Below
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (39 pieces) 140 calories, 7 grams of fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 0 milligrams of sodium, 18 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 6 grams of sugar, including 6 grams of added sugar, and 1 gram of protein.

REVIEW: Mtn Dew Cyclone

Mtn Dew Cyclone 2 Sign

What is it?

The gods of sugary soda-crack Mountain Dew have bestowed a “citrus punch” flavor variation upon the Club Chill dispensers at Speedway gas stations.

How is it?

I was expecting the signature Dew combo of vaguely citrus tang and who-knows-what (sweat?) plus some hints of generically unidentifiable fruit, because that’s my impression of the word “punch.'” But it turned out this Dew SCREAMED raspberry. I could pick out some citrus in the background, knowing it was in there, but in a blind taste-test, I would’ve said, “Ohh – raspberry! Nice.” This is a tasty soda, but “citrus cyclone” it ain’t. Strange, since I think raspberry is a better selling point than punch.

Mtn Dew Cyclone 3 Disp

The flavor here had a little more bite and brightness than the regular Dew. I enjoyed it and it was a nice change from the soda flavors I’m usually drawn to (cola/lemon-lime), but it was just intense enough that I didn’t want more than the 22-ounce cup’s worth. The raspberriness landed somewhere between actual fruit and those candies that your grandma left in her candy dish so long they fossilized, but you ate them anyway.

Mtn Dew Cyclone 4 Cup

Is there anything else you need to know?

This is a REALLY red drink. Like maroon. Crimson. Burgundy. With summer white shirts and pants, one spill and you could look like a stabbing victim. Make sure the lids are tightly sealed on those Club Chill cups, friends.

Mtn Dew Cyclone 5 Closeup

Conclusion:

If you’re a Dew fan, love raspberry candy, don’t mind the potential of looking like a horror movie extra, and live near a Speedway, you should definitely try Mtn Dew Cyclone.

Purchased Price: 79 cents (all sizes)
Size: 22 oz. cup
Purchased at: Speedway (Exclusive)
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts:: (12 oz) 170 calories, 0 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 85 milligrams of sodium, 45 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 45 grams of total sugars, 45g of added sugars, and 0 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Orange & Mango Oreo and Grape & Peach Oreo Cookies (China)

Orange  Mango Oreo Cookies and Grape  Peach Oreo Cookies

What are Orange & Mango Oreo and Grape & Peach Oreo Cookies?

To reward myself for braving Chicken Wing and Wasabi Oreo cookies, I also ordered some of China’s Double-Fruit Oreo. These were the standard chocolate cookies with dual-flavored fruit creme fillings. The orange/yellow variety was orange/mango, and the green/pink filling was grape/peach.

Orange  Mango Oreo Cookies and Grape  Peach Oreo Cookies 2 Bags

How are they?

Orange dominated the aroma of the Orange & Mango cookies. The Grape & Peach smelled like a subdued grape Bubble Yum Gum.

Orange  Mango Oreo Cookies and Grape  Peach Oreo Cookies 3 Stacks

I’ll get right to the point, taste-wise. These are not authentic flavors in any way. They were fruit refracted through a prism of candy. If you find American Oreo flavors to be too artificial, these will not appeal to you – stop reading.

Hardcore sugarheads who are still with me: these fillings reminded me of SweeTarts – bright flavors in the neighborhood of the fruit they’re meant to be (orange was a little closer), although not quite as pucker-inducing as the candy. The chocolate cookies did some of the work of toning down the tartness.

Orange  Mango Oreo Cookies and Grape  Peach Oreo Cookies 4 Filling

Both cookies had a dominant flavor – orange won over mango and grape pushed peach out of the frame. I was hoping for the opposite in both cases. I tasted each colored half of the filling separately in search of the missing fruit, but found the color difference is purely cosmetic.

I enjoyed these on the whole – the chocolate and fruit worked together for me, but missed the peach and mango and wished they were a little more exciting in general.

Orange  Mango Oreo Cookies and Grape  Peach Oreo Cookies 6 Designs

Is there anything else you need to know?

The cookies had Chinese designs embossed on one side. They were cute and unexpected since the Hot Chicken Wing and Wasabi flavors were just the standard design. Google translate couldn’t recognize them, so if you know what they say, leave a comment – I’m curious.

Orange  Mango Oreo Cookies and Grape  Peach Oreo Cookies 5 Dunk

Conclusion:

If you like fake fruit, and these end up being released in America, give ‘em a go! Splurging on having them sent from China is probably not worth it, however.

Purchased Price: $9.36 (+ free shipping)
Size: 97g box (10 cookies)
Purchased at: eBay
Rating: 7 out of 10 (both flavors)
Nutrition Facts: (per 100g) 2035 calories, 21.5 grams of fat, 380 milligrams of sodium, 67.5 grams of carbohydrates, 4.5 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Hot Chicken Wing Oreo Cookies and Wasabi Oreo Cookies (China)

Hot Chicken Wing Oreo Cookies and Wasabi Oreo

There comes a day in all novelty junk food reviewers’ lives when we must make the ultimate sacrifice for our craft. We boldly dash past others’ disgusted faces to taste the impossible snacks. We tackle the foods whose descriptions elicit not a single human response of “that sounds edible.”

Today is that day for me.

Hot Chicken Wing Oreo Cookies and Wasabi Oreo Back Box

Eight months after reading about the release in China of Oreo cookies with Spicy Chicken Wing and Wasabi creme filling, I finally gave in to morbid curiosity and vastly overpaid to have a small box of each flavor make the 7,800-mile journey to my home – just so I could say I’d done it, and of course, to write about it.

Hot Chicken Wing Oreo Cookies and Wasabi Oreo Content

I wasn’t completely convinced these Oreo cookies would be disasters. While most people turn their noses up at chicken-flavored snacks, I am drawn to anything that tastes like it was dipped in pulverized bouillon cubes (see Chicken in a Biskit crackers, Chicken & Waffles Lay’s Chips, and Chicken Pretz sticks).

We’ve also seen enough hot spice creep into candy recently that wasabi isn’t THAT much of a stretch. I had high hopes that these cookies would smash people’s expectations and be delicious. Okay, maybe not high hopes…a glimmer of hope?

Hot Chicken Wing Oreo Cookies and Wasabi Oreo Stacks

I went for the Wasabi Oreo first. The smell inside the package was slightly cocoa – not at the usual Oreo level – and a faint trace of an earthy something. The first flavor to hit my taste buds was the chocolate, and again, not nearly as sweet as the O.G. American Oreo.

The wasabi jumped in immediately after, with a big flavor but just a tinge of heat – around a 3 (keeping in mind I’m a spicy wussy). The biggest problem was that the tastes clashed. It was the food equivalent of playing Slayer and Carpenters songs simultaneously – two things that shouldn’t go together, working independently to make an all-around unpleasant experience. I had no desire to take a second bite.

Hot Chicken Wing Oreo Cookies and Wasabi Oreo Filling

And because one must always save the best for last, it was Spicy Chicken Wing’s turn. I was greeted by the familiar and comforting aroma of powdered poultry, and was ready to be enraptured. A cocoa scent was almost unnoticeable.

The flavor was the expected salty, fake chicken, but like the wasabi cookies, it did not work at all with the chocolate cookie. I usually love a salty/sweet combo, but these were too different to do either taste justice. I wondered if they would be better with a vanilla cookie and less salt. There was heat present, but even less than the wasabi filling. The worst part of the experience, however, was the greasy slick it left behind in my mouth that still haunts me.

Hot Chicken Wing Oreo Cookies and Wasabi Oreo Remains

Saying these cookies were bad doesn’t quite cover it. This was the first time in my life that I ate less than a single Oreo in a sitting. I ate half a package of Swedish Fish Oreo when it came out, fercryinoutloud. Unless you have the neurotic compulsion to try ALL the Oreo flavors (like me), don’t bother with these.

Purchased Price: $9.36 each (+ free shipping)
Size: 97g box (10 cookies)
Purchased at: eBay
Rating: 2 out of 10 (Wasabi)
Rating: 1 out of 10 (Spicy Chicken Wing)
Nutrition Facts: (per 100g) Wasabi – 2035 calories, 21.6 grams of fat, 580 milligrams of sodium, 66 grams of carbohydrates, and 26 grams of protein. Spicy Chicken Wing – 2035 calories, 21.6 grams of fat, 580 milligrams of sodium, 66 grams of carbohydrates, and 26 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Twix Triple Chocolate Ice Cream Bars

Twix Triple Chocolate Ice Cream Bars

What is the Twix Triple Chocolate Ice Cream Bar?

Depending on how you choose to see it, these are either a new twixt (get it?) on the existing Twix ice cream bars or a meltable version of the Twix Triple Chocolate candy bar. The chocolate shell remains the same as the original ice cream bar, but the vanilla ice cream and cookie bits are now chocolate. The filling is not the chocolate caramel of the candy bar, but the same gooey caramel of the O.G. ice cream bar.

Twix Triple Chocolate Ice Cream Bars 2

How is it?

I was a tiny bit disappointed that neither iteration of the Twix ice cream bar maintains the classic Twix cookie-on-the-bottom construction. It’s what makes a Twix a Twix. But I didn’t linger long on this because I was won over by its taste on the first bite.

Twix Triple Chocolate Ice Cream Bars 3

These were straight up delicious, and the experience was more than the sum of its parts. The fluffy ice cream had a strong hot cocoa essence, which was unexpected in a cold item. The cookie bits brought a nice crunch and a darker chocolate. The coating, while a standard milk chocolate, brought us to three different chocolate profiles, which I loved. The caramel filling wasn’t anything special but was tasty and a little on the thin side, which works well with ice cream.

Twix Triple Chocolate Ice Cream Bars 4

Is there anything else you need to know?

Whatever you do, do not peel off the top layer of chocolate coating. The visual of these bars naked is something out of an HR Giger nightmare. I’m pretty sure those cookie balls are hatching in my belly right now…

Twix Triple Chocolate Ice Cream Bars 5

Yeesh.

Conclusion:

Do not wait for sunburn season to find these. Chocolate fans, Twix fans, Alien fans – they’re well worth a try. They might be my go-to summer treat. Just don’t look under the hood.

Purchased Price: $4.29
Size: 11 oz. box / 6 bars
Purchased at: ShopRite
Rating: 9 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 bar) 160 calories, 9 grams of fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 10 milligrams of cholesterol, 50 milligrams of sodium, 18 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 grams of fiber, 15 grams of total sugars, 13 grams of added sugars and 2 grams of protein.

REVIEW: White Chocolate Marshmallow M&M’s

White Chocolate Marshmallow M M s

What are White Chocolate Marshmallow M&M’s?

Because a bag of novelty-flavored M&M’s is easily stuffed into a bright plastic egg basket, Mars is dropping another installment of its special edition Easter flavors! This time, it’s white chocolate with marshmallow.

How are they?

You know how when you see cooking show contestants using the same batter/dough/base for multiple items, they are mostly likely not going to win? That’s what these M&M’s taste like. They’re essentially the same as the basic white chocolate M&M with the tiniest hint of another flavor zipping by at light speed.

White Chocolate Marshmallow M M s Plated

In this case, the flavor isn’t even the marshmallow advertised – it’s closer to fondant icing. You know how cooking show judges howl in disappointment when cakes or cookies get covered in fondant? It’s a polarizing flavor. Fondant is supposed to taste like marshmallow, but is more like what a replicator on the Enterprise that needs a tune-up would spit out.

The good news is there’s so little of it – and the white chocolate is dominant enough – that if you don’t know what fondant is, you might not even notice it here. I’ve been making cakes with it for 18 years, so I’d recognize that sugary dough anywhere.

White Chocolate Marshmallow M M s Pastels

While they taste perfectly pleasant (relying on the strength of their white chocolate base flavor), there’s a huge wasted opportunity here and I’m deducting points for that. Why didn’t they play around with texture? Swap out the crispy malted filling of the M&M’s Mini Eggs with a breakfast-cereal-style marshmallow center?

White Chocolate Marshmallow M M s Innards

Is there anything else you need to know?

The flesh-toned M&M’s are back in this mix, which is odd because they don’t seem to relate to the flavor here. As a color combination, I didn’t love it.

Conclusion:

If you love the white chocolate M&M’s, they’re not a bad purchase with lowered expectations. If you vehemently hate fondant and/or are a cooking show judge, proceed with caution.

Purchased Price: $3.19 (on sale)
Size: 8 oz. bag
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 oz./16 pieces) 140 calories, 7 grams of fat, 4 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, less than 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 25 milligrams of sodium, 19 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 15 grams of total sugars, 17 grams of added sugars, and 1 gram of protein.