Crest Whitening Expressions Variety Pack

Crest Variety Pack

Wh-wh-what?

Review?

Oh, yeah.

Sorry folks, I was just drooling over the new iPod Photo and crying because my third-generation iPod is slowly becoming less and less cool. If I had the money I would get an iPod Photo in a heartbeat, but this gig as the editor of a quasi-review blog doesn’t pay much.

Okay, it doesn’t pay anything at all.

So with the end of October coming up, it’s time to honor what this month is most known for. That’s right folks, National Dental Hygiene Month.

Now some of you may email us about the fact that we probably have dishonored National Dental Hygiene Month by giving positive reviews this month to such sugary products as Hot Fudge Sundae Pop-Tarts, Shasta Tiki Punch, Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Pop-Tarts, and Rockstar Energy Drink. All I have to say to that is, quoting my favorite infomercial star Anthony Robbins, “The past does not equal the future.”

As editor of the Impulsive Buy, I promise that we will honor National Dental Hygiene Month by not reviewing any more sugary sweet products this month.

So that means in about four days, October will be over and then it’s back to the sugary sweet stuff.

Today we will be reviewing the Crest Whitening Expressions Variety Pack, which contains .85-ounce tubes of the four flavors of the Crest Whitening Expressions family: Cinnamon Rush, Extreme Herbal Mint, Refreshing Vanilla Mint, and Fresh Citrus Breeze.

The ONLY reason why I decided to buy this variety pack was to mix flavors.

Over the past month, it’s been fun trying every flavor combination possible and coming up with new flavor names in the process, like Fresh Herbal Citrus Mint Breeze.

My favorite flavor was Extreme Cinnaminy Minty Rush.

My least favorite flavor was Minty Vanilli Frashlee Cinnasimpson Breeze. (Okay I admit it, I was reaching for a Milli Vanilli/Ashlee Simpson joke and failed horribly.)

One of the big things I didn’t like about the product was the price. Although the Crest variety pack was on sale, it really wasn’t. (Did I blow your mind with that?)

You see, awhile back we reviewed a six-ounce tube of Crest Whitening Expressions Fresh Citrus Breeze toothpaste, which we bought at a regular price of $3.29.

With the Crest variety pack you’re paying $3.49 for only 3.4 ounces of toothpaste, which is a total rip-off.

Although variety packs have been proven to be good for sliced deli meat, potato chips, and condoms, I’m not sure if I can say the same for toothpaste.


Item: Crest Whitening Expressions Variety Pack
Purchase Price: $3.49 (on sale)
Rating: 3 out of 5
Pros: Variety. Opportunity to create new toothpaste flavors.
Cons: Really expensive for 3.4 ounces of toothpaste. Can’t afford iPod Photo.

Sexy Hair Concepts Hard Up Hair Gel

Hard Up Hair Gel

Why is it that blue colored products are great at making things hard?

First it was Viagra and now it’s Sexy Hair Concepts Hard Up hair gel.

Over the years, I’ve tried so many products to get my hair up, but nothing worked. Some products made it stiff for a little while, but within an hour, it was limp.

It was embarrassing. How could I be confident around women when I knew my hair was going to get flaccid?

My stylist understood what I was going though and she did everything in her power to help me out. She tried various things. One product worked well, but when it dried out, it flaked, making me look like I had a really bad case of dandruff. Although most of the products made my hair hard, none of the products she tried gave me the lengthy stiffness that I wanted.

So how long did I want this stiffness to last? I wanted it to last the whole day, because you never know when I might meet the woman of my dreams.

This went on for over a year and throughout that year I remained girlfriend-less, embarrassed by my limp body part.

However, during another appointment, my stylist introduced me to the greatest product ever, Sexy Hair Concepts Hard Up hair gel. She put it on me and I could feel my hair getting hard, then it got harder and harder. I was so excited.

Then my stylist said to touch her hands.

When I touched them, they were really sticky. I never used a product that could get hands so sticky, but that stickiness was probably why it made my hair rock hard.

I had found hair gel nirvana and I had a big smile on my face. Finally, I didn’t have to worry about my hair looking limp around women.

Although Hard Up hair gel is a great product, it’s really expensive.

The 4.2-ounce tube will cost about $10, the 8.5-ounce pump can be bought for around $16, and the 16.9-ounce pump (pictured above) costs around $30. So like peanut butter, toilet paper, blank CDs, and ketchup, I recommend you buy it in bulk.


Item: Sexy Hair Concepts Hard Up Hair Gel
Purchase Price: $30.00 (16.9 ounces)
Rating: 5 out of 5
Pros: Makes things really hard. The best hair gel EVER. No flaking. Dries fast.
Cons: Expensive, but worth it. Not good for those who don’t like sticky messes.

REVIEW: Fiskars 12″ Portable Paper Trimmer

Fiskars 12" Portable Paper Trimmer

Who would have thought shredding paper with a Fiskars 12″ Portable Paper Trimmer would be so therapeutic?

I spent the whole weekend shredding whatever paper I could find like credit card statements, ATM receipts, pictures of ex-girlfriends, and some letters about President Bush’s service in the Air National Guard.

I don’t know what it is about shredding paper that makes it so relaxing. Maybe it’s the mindlessness of it or it could be the sound of the tearing paper, or as I like to call it, the screams of the paper.

So if anyone needs confetti or paper for paper mache, you let me know.

Okay, after our success in tricking encouraging blogging moms to visit the Impulsive Buy, we decided to target another apparently semi-large group of bloggers: Crafting bloggers.

They are much smaller than the mom blog demographic, but much bigger than the dad blog demographic. Don’t believe me? Here’s a SMALL sample of crafting blogs: Example #1, Example #2, Example #3, Example #4, Example #5, Example #6, Example #7, Example #8, Example #9, Example #10. Believe me, there are many more I could’ve added, but I really do want to publish this review today.

So this review is a blatant and shameless attempt to bring in the crafting blog audience, with my review of the Fiskars 12″ Portable Paper Trimmer.

I bought the Fiskars Paper Trimmer for one reason. (Okay, there are two. But I’m keeping the tricking-the-crafting-bloggers reason on the down low. Um…Maybe I shouldn’t have typed that last sentence and the previous paragraph.) That ONE reason is because I have trouble cutting in a straight line. I think this is because I’m left-handed and I’m using a right-handed scissors or because I drink waaay too much caffeine.

So far I’ve been very happy with my Fiskars Paper Trimmer, although I have absolutely no idea how crafters would use this to make crafts, besides paper mache. I do know that this paper trimmer is way better than scissors, because unlike scissors, you can run with it in your hand, without the worry of hurting yourself.

Can you see me running around with it?

Look I’m running!

Whoa!

Owww!

Item: Fiskars 12″ Portable Paper Trimmer
Purchase Price: $16.99
Rating: 10 out of 10
Pros: Cuts paper. Swing-out ruler for measurements up to 15″. Bonus replacement blade. Almost safe to run with. Makes a soothing sound when cutting through paper.
Cons: Trimming paper can become addicting.

Rare Saturday Post!!!

As you can see we’ve made a few minor changes around here at the Impulsive Buy. We’ve changed the main color of the site from blue to orange, because of the upcoming Halloween holiday.

What? You don’t see the orange?

Well clear your browser’s cache and everything should be all right.

We’ve also added a link on the right that shows ALL of our previous reviews. The cool thing about it is that you can sort it according to date, category, or title. Have fun with it and take a look at our past reviews and see why we will never be the next Consumer Reports.

Today, we also pulled the winners of the first ever Impulsive Buy prize drawing. There were only nine eligible entries, because some people can’t follow simple instructions.

The six winners have been emailed. So if you haven’t received an email from us, you’re a LOSER!!!

LOSER…Until possibly the next prize drawing.

Have a nice weekend.

Wet Ones Kids Antibacterial Wipes

Wet Ones Kids

It’s not often that we get asked to review something, but regular Impulsive Buy reader Sam asked if we could review a medicated hand wash that can be used at Sam’s fly training stable.

Yeah, you read right. Fly training stable.

Well we just happened to have picked up a product at the superstore behemoth that could come in really handy for Sam, Wet Ones Kids Antibacterial Wipes.

To be honest, we actually picked up this product so that the Impulsive Buy could bring in readers from the apparently HUGE mom blog demographic. For example, this one, this one, this one, this one, this one, this one, this one, this one, this one, this one, this one, this one, this one, this one, this one, this one, and let’s not forget this one, this one, this one, this one, this one, and this one.

The Wet Ones Kids are like the medicated wipes you get when you eat at KFC, except without the medicated smell.

The 24 individually wrapped wipes came in two fun scents: wild watermelon and ballistic berry. Both scents reminded us of watermelon and grape Bubblicious bubble gum. As a matter of fact, they smelled so good that after wiping my hands with them, I soon realized that this is the first product ever that made me consider self-cannibalism. Or at least made me want to chew myself.

These antibacterial wipes are a convenient way for people to clean their hands and faces whenever soap and water are not around and they’re a great way to clean the toilet seats in public restrooms, because there are going to be times when sanitary toilet seat covers and three layers of toilet paper just isn’t enough.

One of the great things about this product was that the scent lasts for hours. I liked the smell so much that I found myself occasionally smelling my hands, which eventually led me to cupping my hands over my mouth and nose, smelling them until the scent faded. When it did fade, I opened another Wet Ones. Then another. Then another. Then another. Then another. Then another. Then another.

After an intervention with the others at the Impulsive Buy, the Wet Ones Kids were taken away from me.

Besides them being taken away from me, another thing I didn’t like about the Wet Ones Kids was the sticky feeling I got when I used one. Eventually it goes away once it dries, but when it’s sticky you don’t feel like touching anything.

Out of the 24 individually wrapped wipes, there’s only 8 left after my so-called “episode.”

So it looks like the Impulsive Buy will have another prize drawing coming up.

Unless I get my hands on them first.


Item: Wet Ones Kids Antibacterial Wipes
Purchase Price: $3.99
Rating: 4 out of 5
Pros: Smells good enough to eat or chew. Makes a great prize for a future drawing. Great for all those blogging moms.
Cons: Smells good enough to eat or chew. Leaves a temporary sticky feeling.