The American Southwest, a lone desert highway…
The boiling Sun is high in the sky as a pair of scorpions duel in the dust. A stereotyped tumbleweed rolls across the hot asphalt and off into the sandy distance. From out of a dust devil a 1968 Mercury Cougar rumbles by, the anonymous driver tossing a barely-touched hamburger out the window…
With a loud splat, a trademarked square patty burns as the covetous mayo sizzles in the heat. A grizzled old buzzard swoops down and starts picking at the errant smokey mushrooms that’ve spread across the road…
After the moderate disappointment of Wendy’s Smoky Mushroom mistake last month, America’s favorite flame-haired burger baroness and her hamburger-haranguing crew have returned from their vaunted test kitchens, ready to proudly present a brand-new limited-time pollo-based product that should very well have the fat lot of us making a run for the border — any border — come lunchtime tomorrow.
Snap those pearl-buttons tight on your favorite Navajo-print long-sleeve, tie that turquoise bolo a little bit higher than usual and do your damnedest to make room for the new Southwest Avocado Spicy Chicken Sandwich, a superb Santa Fe-inspired two-fisted tale of a sandwich that will surely satisfy the haunted hankerings of any random Ghost Rider in the Sky or hungry driver on the road.
Wendy’s has taken their coveted spicy chicken patty — already the basis of one of the best chicken sandwiches on the market — and have brazenly topped it with pepper jack cheese, Southwest ranch sauce, applewood-smoked bacon, lettuce, tomato and, best of all, a mega-dollop of creamy guacamole on a high and mighty bun that simply can’t contain all of this desert goodness.
The sheer heat of the spicy chicken provides a much-needed sensual burn, creating a tastebud dalliance with the inherent peppers and well-timed spices that definitely pleased my most masochistic palate. The cool ranch and ample supply of fresh guacamole provided a much needed balm from the burn, giving the Southwest Avocado Spicy Chicken Sandwich an absolutely perfect blend of sheer girth and delicious worth, one that devilishly transcends these “limited-time only” gimmick eats.
Meanwhile, there is also a salad-based variation available that substitutes grilled chicken breast and adds two scoops of avocado seasoned with lime juice and salt to top off the lettuce, tomatoes, shredded pepper jack cheese, Southwest ranch dressing and, yes, applewood-smoked bacon, that makes up the most of the green concoction.
Calorically and nutritionally, while I’m not exactly sure who this salad is for — I would’ve much rather had these accoutrements on top of a steaming hot baked potato, wouldn’t you? — it’s nowhere near as bad as it probably could’ve been. It’s got a great crunch to it and the double avocado is a mean green treat, but don’t go chasing waterfalls thinking it’s a viable part of any health-based diet-plan.
The American Southwest, a lone desert highway…
As the opening riff of ZZ Top’s “La Grange” blares from the factory original stereo, a 1968 Mercury Cougar pulls over to the barren side of the road. Pulling off his shades, our hero looks down the front of his black leather jacket, most which is covered in guacamole.
“Dammit…” he laments as he can’t find a clean napkin in his Wendy’s bag. With mild shame, he starts licking it clean, but it’s finally worth it. Cómpralo ya!
(Nutrition Facts – Sandwich – 690 calories, 34 grams of fat, 9 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 95 milligrams of cholesterol, 1480 milligrams of sodium, 57 grams of carbohydrates, 6 grams of sugar, 6 grams of fiber, and 38 grams of protein. Salad (Full) – 600 calories 41 grams of fat, 11 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 135 milligrams of sodium, 1220 milligrams of sodium, 18 grams of carbohydrates, 7 grams of sugar, 7 grams of fiber, and 42 grams of protein.)
Purchased Price: $5.79 (sandwich) $6.69 (salad)
Size: N/A
Rating: 10 out of 10 (Sandwich)
Rating: 6 out of 10 (Salad)
Pros: Extra spicy. Surprisingly large portions. Doesn’t skimp on the guacamole
Cons: The salad is kind of pointless, would’ve worked better on a baked potato.
