REVIEW: Burger King BLT Chicken Jr. Sandwich

Burger King BLT Chicken Jr Sandwich

Burger King is seemingly always in second place to the globally far-reaching McDonald’s. Its reputation as the bratty burger brother has always struck me as unfairly harsh and unusually cruel, especially when it offers up delish new items like the BLT Chicken Jr. Sandwich, a small menu item that can take on any of Mickey D’s big cluckers.

Burger King BLT Chicken Jr Sandwich Top

The sandwich itself, true to the unwieldy name, is BK’s take on the classic BLT, offering crisp lettuce, crispy bacon, and a very well-cut tomato. What differs, however, is the splendid addition of one of BK’s famed chicken patties underneath. Junior-sized, of course.

While not a spicy as I would have liked — let’s look into that later, Burger King — the sandwich has a rather juicy bite to it and a satisfying crunch with every mouthful. The chicken patty is actually moist and meaty instead of dry and cardboard-ish, with the tomato giving a crave-worthy splash of acidic flavor that does not go unnoticed.

Burger King BLT Chicken Jr Sandwich Bite

The bacon also does a good job of mutually satisfying the taste buds with its salty wonder of greasy fat. But, as usual, the lettuce acts more like pretty garnish than a taste additive, with a large, vein white leaf adding a small bit of bitterness to these eats. After pulling most of it out, though, I was left with a gorgeously tasty experiment on the always exciting BK menu.

I understand this was included on the King’s likable 3 for $3 menu — although I paid $1.99 for the sandwich by itself — but I see no reason why this sandwich could not be expanded to a monstrous Whopper-sized pollo-friendly blessing, with much more of the chicken, bacon, and tomato.

Hold the lettuce, though.

Still, I guess that if you’re hungry enough, you might as well order two or three of these babies and call it a day. But do you think that I could get a spicy chicken BLT next time, Burger King?

Purchased Price: $1.99
Size: N/A
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 492 calories, 32 grams of fat, 6 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 39 milligrams of cholesterol, 773 milligrams of sodium, 37 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 5 grams of sugar, and 14 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Sonic Queso Burger

Sonic Queso Burger

Though not scientifically accurate, I believe the addition of queso to most things gives them at least a 75% rise in both their likeability and deliciousness factors.

Made up of mostly cheddar, this world-renowned cheese sauce has blessed everything from the most basic of store brand corn chips to the most expensive of cuts of beef, probably.

That being said, Sonic’s latest experiment in fast food tastiness, the Queso Burger, proves this unified theory in literally buckets of cheese, and I, for one, would love to be entirely dowsed by it.

Sure, at first glance, the Queso Burger might not look like anything spectacular, with only a small drop of bright yellow cheese dripping down the side of my specimen. But taking a large bite from the burger will elicit the most heat-friendly of smiles as the explosions of warm meat and hot queso dance a brave bolero across my yum-addled tongue.

Sonic Queso Burger Bunoff

But there’s a bit more to the Queso Burger than the haughty helping of much-loved queso. Parting the burger in two reveals a more than healthy batch of not only grilled onions, but also – hot damn! – Hatch green chiles, liberally swimming in the cheese sauce over the sweaty meat, begging you to lick them off the bread lustfully.

Served on the requisite toasted bun with just a squirt or two of ketchup and mayonnaise, the Sonic Queso Burger is a surprising hothouse of Tex-Mex flavors. This powerful meat-treat was merely hinted at with its last burger, the Sweet n’ Tangy Bacon Cheeseburger. It’s excitingly progressive when a business like Sonic taps into their Latin side, ain’t it?

Sonic Queso Burger Side

This mixture of queso and chiles is pure lit dynamite, one that I would like to see on Sonic’s tater tots, onion rings, and — oh please oh please oh please — a variety of breakfast burritos. But, until that morning blissfully occurs, the Queso Burger is Sonic’s Cinco de Mayo gift to us all.

And be sure to order a tall Rt. 44 when you get this burger because you might need it.

Purchased Price: $3.99
Size: N/A
Rating: 10 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: Unavailable at press time.

REVIEW: Taco Bell Flamin’ Hot Doritos Locos Tacos

Taco Bell Flamin Hot Doritos Locos Tacos

In 2012, arguably, the most important fast food creation of the past twenty years hit our national gullet, the Doritos Locos Taco, available in Nacho Cheese and, soon after, Cool Ranch. Only the tastiest thinkers at Taco Bell could have come up with them, and, in return, a hungry America turned these tacos into a nationwide obsession.

I’m happy to say that I’m able to relive that minor passion with the recently released Taco Bell Flamin’ Hot Doritos Locos Taco. It’s a snack food that, with one burning bite, will take us back to those carefree times eight years ago when procuring a Locos Taco was the only pressing thing on our minds.

Taco Bell Flamin Hot Doritos Locos Tacos Innards

A daunting mix of the usual blend of seasoned ground beef, cheddar cheese, and cool lettuce, the star here is the crunchy taco itself: a full Doritos Locos shell covered in the fiery Flamin’ Hot powdery foodstuff. It’s a thick layer that’ll leave even the most casual of taco noshers licking their fingertips seductively just to catch every burning bit.

With a bit of salt to tease the coming heat, though flimsy, the shell truly is another one of Taco Bell’s orchestral delights. It fills the cheeks with an uncompromising heat that actually improves the somewhat rote innards. Take each bite slowly and with meaning to catch the exact moment when it goes from merely hot to Flamin’ Hot.

It’s a momentary slap of fast food sense upside the head, one that is much needed these days.

Taco Bell Flamin Hot Doritos Locos Tacos Standing

And while, unlike the loved Cool Ranch and beloved Nacho Cheese varieties, it might be a bit difficult to down more than two of these at a time, as the Flamin’ Hot variety is far more of an unholy expert’s taco. It’s one for the practiced professional that needs this heat in their life, perhaps with a dash of Diablo sauce for tongue-searing reimbursement.

Purchased Price: $1.89
Size: N/A
Rating: 9 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 170 calories, 10 grams of fat, 3.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 25 milligrams of cholesterol, 380 milligrams of sodium, 13 grams of carbohydrates, 3 gram of fiber, less than 1 gram of sugar, and 8 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Burger King Jalapeno Cheddar Bites

Burger King Jalapeno Cheddar Bites

What are Burger King Jalapeño Cheddar Bites?

Do you enjoy jalapeño poppers from other fast food chains, like those from Sonic and Jack in the Box?

Well, Burger King’s version is basically the same thing, but in a more convenient bite-sized format with a golden deep fried coating that hides a gorgeous glob of a tangy cheddar with tiny jalapeño bits swimming in it.

How are they?

While it would be easy to compare BK’s Jalapeño Cheddar Bites to something like its gimmicky Chicken Fries or Cheesy Tots, these mouth-filling morsels manage to move past that and land almost in a full-meal territory. A bag of eight eat-em-ups can fill almost anyone’s tummy with their somewhat spicy/definitely cheesy goodness.

Burger King Jalapeno Cheddar Bites Innards

Dipping sauce is not necessary.

The peppers provide a suitable enough heat, at least for most of the BK-buying public. While I wish it was a bit hotter, the big bites taste like chile con queso.

Is there anything else you need to know?

I purchased the stacked 8-pack for $2.09, but there is a smaller 4-bite set that runs a whole buck for smaller snack-addicts.

Conclusion:

A win from Burger King, the Jalapeño Cheddar Bites deliver more cheese than heat, but here that’s a great thing that works in its favor and flavor.

Purchased Price: $2.09
Size: 8-piece
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (8 pieces) 327 calories, 19 grams of fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 24 milligrams of cholesterol, 907 milligrams of sodium, 35 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 2 grams of sugar, and 9 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Sonic Sweet ‘n Tangy Bacon Cheeseburger

Sonic Sweet  n Tangy Bacon Cheeseburger

In the midst of one boring burger after another from various chains around the country, we as a collected people desperately needed a wholly edible celebration of meat and cheese to bring us out of our dull fast-food doldrums. And, thank God, it was our good friends at Sonic and their new Sweet ‘n Tangy Bacon Cheeseburger to do it.

The latest creation to come out of Oklahoma City’s favorite fast food corporation, this delightful cheeseburger is a flavorful mélange of things that, honestly, should not work. But here, they come together in delicious harmony to make what I classify as a near-perfect burger, one that should appease the taste buds of even the hardest-hearted burger-eaters of them all. Fries, sadly, not included.

Sonic Sweet  n Tangy Bacon Cheeseburger 2

It features a Sonic pure beef patty paraded about with the blissful fanfare of smokehouse cheddar cheese, crispy bacon, grilled onions, shredded lettuce, and a large quantity of honey mustard. They’re all deliciously served on a toasted “bakery quality” brioche bun.

The smokehouse cheddar cheese is the first thing to be tasted, even beyond the largesse of the meat. It’s a relieving flavor that, when mixed with the proud honey mustard, gives a tongue-biting zing that is usually not featured on too many mainstream burgers these days. The follow-up of crispy bacon gently tempers that with the right amount of fat and salt.

If you’re so inclined, there is also a slider variation of this marvelous burger, perfect for those that have big tastes but very little pocket change.

Sonic Sweet  n Tangy Bacon Cheeseburger 3

But, still, if you’ve got the gut and gumption, just go for this five buck version and gently eat away those taste-destroying burger blues.

Purchased Price: $4.99
Size: N/A
Rating: 9 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: Not available at publication time.

REVIEW: Mtn Dew Frost Bite

Mtn Dew Frost Bite Bottle

What is Mtn Dew Frost Bite?

Given the bottle’s ferocious imagery of an open-mouth great white shark on the label, I was hoping this would be Mtn Dew’s entry into a revolutionary fish-flavored soda game, but, instead, it’s just a “burst of icy refreshment and cool melon.” So, I guess melon.

How is it?

Mtn Dew Frost Bite Closeup

Like most nouveau Mtn Dew flavors, this too has a taste reminiscent of a liquefied Now and Later, which, at least in my opinion, is never a bad thing. And while there is a slight taste of melon — don’t ask me what kind of melon, though — the “blue ice” flavor is extremely prevalent, even if “blue ice” isn’t a flavor found in nature.

But, still, Frost Bite has got a deeply sweet seafaring edge to it that, like the chompers on the non-mountainous mascot, will cut deeply to the bone. Or, given the soda’s oh-so high added sugar content, it might shear the white enamel off with each seriously addictive gulp. If you ever wonder what Powerade Mountain Berry Blast would taste like with a testicular death-grip, look no further.

Is there anything else you need to know?

Available for a limited time, this Mtn Dew flavor is an exclusive flavor to Walmart stores across the country. I bought it instead of toilet paper, mostly because my store was still sold out of it and probably will be for a while.

Conclusion:

Mtn Dew Frost Bite is a downright tawdry yet delicately tasty concoction for landlubbing tongues.

Purchased Price: $1.80
Size: 20 oz. bottle
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 290 calories, 0 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 95 milligrams of sodium, 76 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 76 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of protein.