REVIEW: Burger King California Whopper

Marvo 16 Comments

Burger King California Whopper

The Burger King California Whopper is not a new product.

In the United States, it’s been available exclusively at BK Whopper Bars since 2009 (Warning: Automatic music playing website), and last year it was available throughout the fast food hungry countries of Norway, Sweden and Denmark.

I find it a bit strange that California didn’t get to experience the California Whopper before the Scandanavians did. I’m not one for conspiracies, but it’s as if the United States-based Burger King, wanted to knock Sweden and Denmark out of the Top 10 World’s Healthiest Countries so that the United States, which is the 11th healthiest country in the world, can sneak into the top ten.

U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!

But, of course, a conspiracy to get the United States to move into the top 10 healthiest countries in the world can’t be true. Besides, the Burger King California Whopper is now available to all Americans, so just like a person who ate a large-sized Burger King Whopper value meal, the United States won’t be moving anywhere anytime soon.

To make a California Whopper, Burger King takes their regular Whopper; leaves out the ketchup, pickles, and onions; and replaces them with bacon, swiss cheese, and guacamole. The green Mexican dip made from avocados is the only ingredient that allows this burger to be called the California Whopper.

At first, I thought it’s called the California Whopper because guacamole is Mexican and there are a lot of Mexicans in California. But then I realized that might be a little racist. Thankfully, I found out California produces 95 percent of the country’s avocados and Fallbrook, California claims itself to be the “Avocado Capital of the World.” So the avocados in the guacamole is the reason why it’s called the California Whopper.

Burger King California Whopper Innards

As for the amount of guacamole in the California Whopper, there’s a lot of it. So much so that if Ghostbusters 3 ever comes to fruition, Burger King should do a movie tie-in using the California Whopper, but renaming it to the Ecto Whopper, because with the amount of guacamole it has, it looks like it’s been slimed. But despite it oozing guacamole everywhere, its flavor is subdued enough that, at times, it’s almost like I’m eating a regular Whopper.

Taco Bell makes a better tasting guacamole.

Shit. I never thought I’d type that sentence above EVER.

That’s how little I think of Burger King’s guacamole. When one makes a guacamole that’s worse than Taco Bell’s, they should be running towards the border and past it…so that they can learn how to make a better guacamole. Perhaps add some onion flavor. Or a little more salt. Or a little bit of spice.

I sound upset, because I am upset. I really wanted to love this burger, because I love guacamole. I wanted to get fat from this burger. I wanted my doctor to tell me I should stop eating them. I wanted it to be my only source of polyunsaturated and monounsaturated fats, along with saturated and trans fats.

Not even the other ingredients in the burger help. The swiss cheese doesn’t add anything. And the bacon is typical fast food bacon that, despite being called “crispy” in every promo, is never crispy and hardly brings any flavor. I really wish fast food companies would tinker with their bacon instead of their french fries.

Look, I know I just used the last 265 words to rant about the Burger King California Whopper, but I sort of liked it whenever I could taste a little guacamole. Do I feel like it could’ve been better? Oh, hell yes! But I also realize my expectations for it (Whopper = YUM! Guacamole = YUM! Whopper + Guacamole = YUM! YUM!) were probably too high and that I shouldn’t expect Burger King to make a burger that moves me as much as the San Andreas Fault moves California.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 California Whopper – 820 calories, 500 calories from fat, 56 grams of fat, 18 grams of saturated fat, 1 gram of trans fat, 110 milligrams of cholesterol, 1400 milligrams of sodium, 50 grams of carbohydrates, 4 grams of fiber, 8 grams of sugar, and 38 grams of protein.)

Other California Whopper reviews:
Tampa Bay Food Monster
Grub Grade
Fat Guy Food Blog

Item: Burger King California Whopper
Price: $5.99 (sandwich only)
Size: 1 sandwich
Purchased at: Burger King
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: I kind of liked it, but it could’ve been so much better. Smooth guacamole. Lots of guacamole. Flame-broiled patties. Avocados are a great source for poly- and monounsaturated fats. U-S-A!
Cons: Guacamole needed more flavor. Bacon was useless. Cheese was useless. Pricey for just the sandwich. Not being able to watch Ghostbusters 3. There’s a guacamole worse than Taco Bell’s. Saturated and trans fats negating the poly- and monounsaturated fats.

NEWS: Get Ready To Open Your Maw Wide For The New Triple Double Oreo

Marvo 2 Comments

Update: Click here for our Triple Double Oreo review

According to this Reddit post and this tweet, Triple Double Oreos will soon be available for your molars to crush. Looking at the pictures posted, it appears the cookie combines a regular Double Stuf Oreo with a Double Stuf Chocolate Creme Oreo. I wonder if there are other Triple Double flavors because a Double Stuf Mini Creme Oreo fused with a Double Stuff Chocolate Creme Oreo sounds divine.

Correction: The creme filling is from regular Oreos and not Double Stuf Oreos.

A regular package of Double Stuf Oreos weighs in at 18 ounces, while the Triple Double Oreos weigh 13.1 ounces. Wow. Not having those extra chocolate cookies make a difference.

Of course, the Triple Double Oreos will help those of us who aren’t sure what to do with the extra cookie when twisting it off, setting it aside, and then stacking the other half on top of another Oreo to make a Big Mac Oreo cookie. I freeze the extra cookies in hopes that one day Nabisco will sell just the creme without the cookies.

REVIEW: McDonald’s McCafe Frozen Strawberry Lemonade

Marvo 52 Comments

McDonald's McCafe Frozen Strawberry Lemonade

If I didn’t have a calendar, all I would have to do is see what McDonald’s is offering in order to figure out what time of the year it is. When they release their Holiday Pie, I know it’s fall. When the Shamrock Shake is available, I know spring is right around the corner. And, whenever the McRib is offered for a limited time, I know it’s that time of year when I eat a McRib and then think to myself, “Nope, it’s still horrible.”

But now, I have the McDonald’s McCafe Frozen Strawberry Lemonade to let me know summer is near. Although, I think it’s a permanent addition to the McCafe menu, so I may think it’s summer all the time. But then again, I do live on a rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean where it pretty much always has nice beach weather.

The McCafe Frozen Strawberry Lemonade is made by pouring blended frozen lemonade into a cup with strawberry syrup. As the lemonade slush is poured into the cup, the strawberry syrup mixes with some it, creating a swirling pattern. After the two are put together in a cup, they aren’t completely mixed together to blend all the flavors. That mixing is up to you, the straw that’s included, and your wrists.

However, I think McDonald’s doesn’t want you to mix the two because it’s kind of hard to do so with the included straw and because that swirling pattern looks so pretty before the heavier strawberry syrup settles to the bottom of the cup. But, I’d recommend fusing the two flavors together because when the strawberry goop comes to rest at the cup’s bottom, a sweet strawberry shot is what you’ll be tasting with every suck from your straw, leaving you with less of the syrup to slightly neutralize the tartness of the lemonade slush.

If you owned a box of crayons as a child, you know red and white make pink, while red and yellow make orange. But get ready to have your primary colored world turned upside down because thoroughly combining the yellow lemonade slush with the red strawberry syrup turns the McCafe Frozen Strawberry Lemonade pink. It’s what Hello Kitty would drink if she wanted brain freeze.

Looking past the weird color anomaly, the McCafe Frozen Strawberry Lemonade is tasty and refreshing. The ice crystals have a satisfying crunch and create a fluffy slushie. The tart blended frozen lemonade is front and center and the strawberry syrup moderately turns down the tartness, but in the process the strawberry flavor is nearly non-existent. So, basically, McDonald’s should’ve called this slushy beverage the McDonald’s McCafe Frozen Lemonade That’ll Turn Pink If You Mix It.

But, as tasty and refreshing as it was, I had trouble finishing the entire 16-ounce cup. Because, at a point the lemonade got annoyingly tart and the drink as a whole got annoyingly sweet. Thank goodness for freezers because I can enjoy the leftovers later by throwing it at the faces of glee club members.

Overall, the McDonald’s McCafe Frozen Strawberry Lemonade is a pleasant reminder that summer is near.

(Nutrition Facts – 16 ounces – 270 calories, 0 calories from fat, 0 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 30 milligrams of sodium, 68 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 67 grams of sugar, 0 grams of protein, and 310% vitamin C.)

Item: McDonald’s McCafe Frozen Strawberry Lemonade
Price: $2.59
Size: 16 ounces
Purchased at: McDonald’s
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: A tasty and refreshing reminder that summer is near. Fat free. Awesome amount of vitamin C. Swirling pattern is pretty. Shamrock Shakes.
Cons: Not enough strawberry flavor. Becomes hard to finish since it gets to be annoyingly tart and sweet. You have to do the mixing. Breaks the laws of primary colors.

NEWS: If The Mayan Calendar Is Wrong, Lemon Meringue Twinkies Are In Your Future

Marvo

Homemade Lemon Meringue Pie2

Earlier this year, Hostess had Twinkie fans vote for the next Twinkie flavor. And, while they were voting, Hostess introduced the next Twinkie flavors, Chocolate Creme and Strawberry & Creme. So, technically, fans got to vote for the next next next Twinkie flavor.

Anyhoo, Lemon Meringue was victorious in that flavor election, capturing 35 percent of the vote. Raspberry Tart was runner-up with 33 percent, while Cookies n Creme and Blueberry Pie had 18 percent and 12 percent, respectively.

So get ready Twinkies fans for Lemon Meringue Twinkies…in 2012. Yes, in seven months or so you’ll get to enjoy these new Twinkies, which, when released, will be available for a limited time. Although, if the Mayan calendar is correct and the world ends, forget what I said in the previous sentence.

FLAVORS OF THE MONTH: May 2011

Marvo

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Here are this month’s limited time offers.

Baskin Robbins’ Flavor of the Month is Golden Oreo Gold Rush! Yes, the exclamation point is part of its name. The bright yellow flavor is made up of lemon custard ice cream with Oreo icing ribbon and Golden Oreo cookie pieces mixed in. A 2.5-ounce scoop has 220 calories, 13 grams of fat, 6 grams of saturated fat, 35 milligrams of cholesterol, 85 milligrams of sodium, 24 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 20 grams of sugar, and 3 grams of protein.

This month, Slurpee released a new flavor called Summertime Lime, which combines lime with a hint of vanilla. But I wonder how many people are going drop a little mixology and combine Summertime Lime Slurpee with tequila or their favorite hard liquor? This seasonal Slurpee has no caffeine and is made using natural flavors, but contains no juice. An 8-ounce serving contains 65 calories, 0 grams of fat, 5 milligrams of sodium, 17 grams of carbohydrates, and 17 grams of sugar.

Dairy Queen’s May Blizzard of the Month is German Chocolate Brownie, which is made up of vanilla soft serve, chewy brownie pieces, pecan pieces, caramel, and coconut. To be honest, I’ve never heard of German chocolate brownies until reading about this Blizzard. Thanks DQ for educating me. I forgive you for coming up with the word “RIDQULOUS.” If you want to read a review, On Second Scoop posted one. A small serving of German Chocolate Brownie Blizzard has 700 calories, 34 grams of fat, 16 grams of saturated fat, 0.5 grams of trans fat, 55 milligrams of cholesterol, 420 milligrams of sodium, 90 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 67 grams of sugar, and 14 grams of protein.

Finally, Subway’s $5 Featured Footlong of the month is the Orchard Chicken Salad sub, which isn’t a new sandwich. It’s been around for several years, but when it’s been available, it’s only for a limited time, much like it is this month. If you’ve never experienced the Orchard Chicken Salad sub, it’s made using chicken chunks, apples, golden raisins, cranberries, and celery mixed with a light mayo. Grub Grade and Brand Eating both reviewed the sandwich last year. A six-inch Orchard Chicken Salad sub has 350 calories, 8 grams of fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 40 milligrams of cholesterol, 560 milligrams of sodium, 54 grams of carbohydrates, 6 grams of fiber, 15 grams of sugar, and 20 grams of protein.