REVIEW: Burger King Crispy Chicken Snack Wraps (Honey Mustard and Ranch)

Update 8/25/23: This is a review of the previous wraps Burger King offered. If you want a review of the BK Royal Crispy Wrap, click here.

I just spent the last hour reading about trademarks on Wikipedia and the United States Patent and Trademark Office (USPTO) website. While staring at pages that had very little pictures, I learned about “trade dress” and “trade dilution.” However, I didn’t learn why Burger King can offer their new Ranch and Honey Mustard Crispy Chicken Snack Wraps when McDonald’s was first to offer Ranch and Honey Mustard Snack Wraps and owns the “Snack Wrap” trademark.

Well, I don’t know whether McDonald’s really owns the trademark because while using the USPTO’s Trademark Electronic Search System (TESS) I learned McDonald’s registered the Snack Wrap trademark in 2007, but also learned they abandoned the trademark in 2007. To be honest, I don’t know what any of that means.

Also, to be honest, I didn’t really spend an hour learning about trademarks. For 15 minutes I read about trademarks, got extremely bored, spent five minutes reading a Wikipedia entry about parkour, then wasted 15 minutes watching European parkour videos on YouTube, followed by six minutes of attempting parkour, and then spent 19 minutes on the ground in pain after tripping on a fence I tried to jump over.

But let’s not dwell on my poor athletic ability, but instead focus on whose Snack Wraps are better: McDonald’s or Burger King.

A McDonald’s Snack Wrap brings together one of their Chicken Selects Premium Breast Strips with shredded lettuce, a shredded cheddar and Monterey Jack cheese blend, either McDonald’s ranch or honey mustard sauce, and a flour tortilla. Burger King’s Snack Wraps combine seven lettuces, one of their new Chicken Strips, a three-cheese medley, and either Ken’s Ranch Dressing or Ken’s Honey Mustard Dressing in a white flour tortilla.

Who’s Ken?

This is Ken.

After pulling out the Burger King Snack Wraps from their paper wrapping, I was surprised by how small they were. They were shorter than McDonald’s Snack Wraps. Because of their size, I felt the $2.29 I paid for each was a slight ripoff. Of course, here on this rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, we tend to have higher prices for things, so you’ll probably pay less than I did. But even at two dollars, these are still a little pricey since I pay $1.49 for a McDonald’s Snack Wrap.

Maybe it’s pricier because of the seven lettuces Burger King stuffed into each Snack Wrap. Or, in other words, it takes more green to make these Snack Wraps more green.

I’m sorry for the previous sentence.

However, in both Snack Wraps I purchased, I only counted only two different leafy vegetables. Mind you, I only know of three lettuces: dark green, light green, and red. However, even those two were a colorful step better than McDonald’s one iceberg lettuce. As for the cheese, it didn’t seem to do much to enhance the flavor and the flour tortilla was just like the one McDonald’s offers. I would like to say it would’ve been nice if the tortilla was warmed up.

The chicken strip in the Burger King Snack Wraps had a pleasant crispy exterior, but the meat inside was dry and a little tough. The chicken was marinated, and I could taste some of it while mowing through each Snack Wrap, but most of the Snack Wrap’s flavor comes from Ken’s dressings, which were tastier than their McDonald’s counterparts. Ken’s Honey Mustard had a stronger flavor and more mustard spiciness, while Ken’s Ranch Dressing was mild, but it still made the McDonald’s ranch sauce taste a little watered down.

So if I had to choose between Burger King’s and McDonald’s Snack Wraps, which would I choose? I’d have to pick the McDonald’s Snack Wraps, because their flavors aren’t vastly inferior compared with BK’s Snack Wraps, they’re cheaper, I have the option of getting grilled chicken, and they have fewer calories, fat, saturated fat, and sodium.

Update: Grilled chicken is now being offered. Grilled chicken was not available when this review was posted.

How much less do they have?

The McDonald’s Crispy Honey Mustard Snack Wrap has 330 calories, 15 grams of fat, 4.5 grams of saturated fat, and 700 milligrams of sodium, while the Burger King Crispy Chicken Honey Mustard Snack Wrap has 390 calories, 21 grams of fat, 6 grams of saturated fat, and 990 milligrams of sodium.

Overall, Burger King’s Snack Wraps are a tasty addition to the menu, even though they’re pretty much photocopied versions of McDonald’s Snack Wraps.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 snack wrap – Honey Mustard – 390 calories, 21 grams of fat, 6 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 30 milligrams of cholesterol, 990 milligrams of sodium, 37 grams of carbohydrates, 6 grams of sugar, and 12 grams of protein. Ranch – 370 calories, 21 grams of fat, 6 grams of saturated fat, 0.5 grams of trans fat, 30 milligrams of cholesterol, 1,060 milligrams of sodium, 33 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of sugar, and 12 grams of protein.)

Item: Burger King Crispy Chicken Snack Wraps (Honey Mustard and Ranch)
Price: $2.29 each
Size: N/A
Purchased at: Burger King
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Honey Mustard)
Rating: 6 out of 10 (Ranch)
Pros: Really good Ken’s Honey Mustard. Decent Ken’s Ranch. Crispy chicken exterior. Watching parkour videos on YouTube. Vegetation variety.
Cons: Pricey. No grilled chicken option. More calories, fat, and sodium than McDonald’s Snack Wraps. Chicken meat was dry and a little tough. Photocopied versions of McDonald’s Snack Wraps. Learning about trademarks is boring.

NEWS: Jones Soda To Release Au Naturel Sparkling Water In Plastic Bottles

Jones Soda has never been sold in plastic bottles.

Actually, that’s not quite correct. Jones Soda’s discontinued line of vitamin enhanced water did, but Jones Soda soda has never been sold in plastic bottles.

Well, that’s about to change with their new line of Au Naturel sparking waters. Of course, this disappoints me because if I’m drinking one at a picnic and a fight breaks out, I can’t smash the plastic bottle on someone’s head or on a tree to make a weapon to defend myself.

Jones Au Naturel is made up of carbonated water, natural sweeteners (organic agave syrup, stevia, and pure cane sugar), flavor essence, and green tea extracts to provide a little caffeine.

A bottle of Au Naturel contain 35 calories, seven grams of sugar, and five grams of fiber. So it has the same amount of fiber found in a bowl of this raisin bran. The sparking water comes in three Ben and Jerry’s flavor-sounding names: Green Apple A Day, Lemon Limelight, and Orange Ya Glad Its Mango.

Au Naturel has a suggested retail price of $1.79 per 16.9-ounce bottle and will be available on the Jones Soda website and natural grocery store.

NEWS: Burger King’s New Menu Items Might Confuse You Into Thinking You’ve Stepped Into A McDonald’s

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Burger King recently unleashed their new website (site was up and running while writing this, but it appears the old version of the site is up) and with it they also debuted a gastric bomb of new products. Many of the menu items will sound familiar because, well, McDonald’s did it. So here they are:

Chicken Strips

Available in 3 or 5 pieces, the white meat chicken is marinated and battered in seasoned home-style breading. The dipping sauces available include: King Kung Pao, BBQ Roasted Jalapeño, Barbecue, Honey Mustard, Sweet and Sour, Ranch, and Buffalo. A 3-piece Chicken Strips has 360 calories, 19 grams of fat, 3.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 1,400 milligrams of sodium, and 14 grams of protein.

Crispy Chicken Snack Wraps

Burger King’s Snack Wraps combine seven lettuces, white meat chicken, a three-cheese medley, and either Ken’s Ranch Dressing or Ken’s Honey Mustard Dressing in a white flour tortilla.

The Ranch Crispy Chicken Snack Wrap has 370 calories, 21 grams of fat, 6 grams of saturated fat, 0.5 grams of trans fat, 30 milligrams of cholesterol, 1,060 milligrams of sodium, 33 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of sugar, and 12 grams of protein. While the Honey Mustard version has 390 calories, 21 grams of fat, 6 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 30 milligrams of cholesterol, 990 milligrams of sodium, 37 grams of carbohydrates, 6 grams of sugar, and 12 grams of protein.

Update: Click here to read our BK Crispy Chicken Snack Wraps review

Smoothies & Frappes

Burger King Smoothies are made with real fruit and low-fat yogurt, and come in two flavors — Strawberry Banana and Tropical Mango. The Strawberry Banana Smoothie has 310 calories, 0.5 grams of fat, 73 grams of carbohydrates, 60 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein. The Tropical Mango has 330 calories, 1 gram of fat, 78 grams of carbohydrates, 63 grams of sugar, and 3 grams of protein.

Update: Click here to read our BK Fruit Smoothies review

The frappes are topped with whipped cream, swirled with syrup, and, just like the smoothies, come in two flavors — Mocha and Caramel. Both Burger King Frappes have 510 calories, 22 grams of fat, 12 grams of saturated fat, 72 grams of carbohydrates, 49 grams of sugar, and 4 grams of protein.

Update: Click here to read our Burger King Frappe review

Salads

While everything else so far looks familiar, Burger King’s new salads don’t look like they’re from McDonald’s. The salads have the option of having either Tendercrisp or Tendergrill chicken and are available in three varieties:

Chicken, Apple & Cranberry Garden Fresh Salad – Seven premium lettuces, crisp apples, dried cranberries, bleu cheese, and Ken’s Apple Cider Vinaigrette. With Tendergrill chicken it has 520 calories, 35 grams of fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 100 milligrams of cholesterol, 950 milligrams of sodium, 35 grams of carbohydrates, 35 grams of sugar, and 35 grams of protein.

Chicken BLT Garden Fresh Salad – Seven premium lettuces (including romaine, spring mix, and iceberg), thick cut hardwood smoked bacon, tomatoes, red onions, a three-cheese medley, and Ken’s Avocado Ranch Dressing. With Tendergrill chicken it has 510 calories, 33 grams of fat, 9 grams of saturated fat, 0.5 grams of trans fat, 125 milligrams of cholesterol, 1,610 milligrams of sodium, 13 grams of carbohydrates, 6 grams of sugar, and 42 grams of protein.

Update: Click here to read our BK Chicken BLT Garden Fresh Salad review

Chicken Caesar Garden Fresh Salad – Romaine lettuce, tomatoes, Parmesan croutons, shaved Parmesan cheese, and Ken’s Citrus Caesar Vinaigrette. With Tendergrill chicken it has 490 calories, 28 grams of fat, 4.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 100 milligrams of cholesterol, 1,620 milligrams of sodium, 22 grams of carbohydrates, 7 grams of sugar, and 41 grams of protein.

NEWS: Dial For Men Speed Foam Body Wash Foaming Gel Has A Long Name For A Body Wash

Dial For Men Speed Foam Body WashUpdate: Click here to watch our Dial for Men Speed Foam video review

Dial for Men’s Speed Foam Body Wash Foaming Gel has been available for a couple of weeks, but I didn’t notice it until I saw a coupon for it in the Sunday newspaper.

Ever since I learned about it, I’ve been trying to wrap my head around the idea of a foaming gel. So does it work like Edge Shaving Gel, which starts expanding and turning into foam once it’s dispensed?

According to its bottle, it proudly boasts, “No shower pouf needed.” So I guess with Speed Foam, I don’t need any kind of shower pouf or wash cloth to create foam and to clean my body. Instead, I just use my hands.

But without the pouf, how am I going to exfoliate my skin? Also, if I’m using only my hands, how am I going to wash that one spot on my back I can’t quite reach? What about my butt crack? That means I have to wash my butt crack with only my hands. I don’t feel comfortable with that.

With Speed Foam, Dial claims men will reach the ultimate clean faster and easier than ever.

Dial Speed Foam is able to dispense enough foaming gel for 40 washes and comes in three scents: Active Sport, Arctic Refresh, and Ultra Clean. It’s available nationwide for a suggested retail price of $5.99.

NEWS: Attention! Now There’s VitaminWater Attention!

VitaminWater Attention on shelf

Update: Click here to read out VitaminWater Attention review

VitaminWater Attention is the latest not-quite-as-bad-as-soda-but-significantly-worse-than-regular-water beverage from the folks from Glacéau. It’s fuji apple and watermelon flavored, hence its red color.

According to the slick marketing copy found on every VitaminWater bottle, Attention is supposed to help drinkers focus. I find that strange since VitaminWater already has a flavor that helps with focus called Focus. Sounds like Glacéau is running out of deficiencies to help us with.

To help you focus, VitaminWater Attention has 87 milligrams of caffeine in every bottle. It also provides 15 grams of glucose. To be honest, I didn’t pay attention in biology 101 in college (I passed with a C), so I have no idea what glucose does in the body. I really could’ve used a VitaminWater Attention back then.

After a quick Google search and reading a site with a .org domain name, I learned glucose helps boost a person’s cognitive performance. I started to read the Wikipedia entry on glucose, but got quickly bored, like I did with biology 101.

A bottle of VitaminWater Attention has 120 calories, 0 grams of fat, 0 milligrams of sodium, 32 grams of carbohydrates, 32 grams of sugar, 0 grams of protein.