I’m not that big on biscuits. I owned a Limp Bizkit CD in my late teens, but I’m not proud of that fact, and I think we can all look back and realize we made some stupid mistakes at that age.

I feel bad for the biscuits that come with my KFC meals, because they always wind up neglected in favor of stuffing my face with fried chicken. Priorities, you know? They then go stale after one day and wind up in the trash.

I wish I could just tell the cashier to hold the biscuits and throw in an extra leg or something, but I’m pretty sure there’s no button for that on the cash register, and I try to avoid confusing fast food workers as much as possible. Understanding the talky-box at the drive-thru is difficult enough as it is.

Even when I order a breakfast sandwich, I’ll generally opt for English muffin over biscuit. They just seem to work better as breakfast buns, a phrase I’d like to make a dirty joke out of but can’t quite develop. Biscuits just tend to be more crumbly, which isn’t the most convenient for breakfast on-the-go, especially if you don’t want to show up at work with crumbs all over your slacks.

Before you label me a biscuit-hater, however, I will say that I’m way into biscuits and gravy. It’s one of my favorite breakfast foods, as long as I can afford the luxury of utensils. Whataburger is one of the few fast food locations that offers biscuits and gravy, and their sausage gravy is impressively delicious.

That said, I decided to branch out while on my mission to try Whataburger’s new Jalapeño Cheddar Biscuit. I could have just gotten the biscuit, but that seemed a little sad. Whataburger’s website encouraged me to substitute it for any of the other biscuit options on their menu, which immediately led me down the road of biscuits and gravy (oh, if I should ever find such an actual road flowing with sausage gravy), but I figured the spicy/cheesy combo would work better in sandwich form. Short story long, I decided to get a Jalapeño Cheddar Sausage and Cheese Biscuit Sandwich.

Right away, I could see the pepper bits in the biscuit, which is always encouraging. It had a nice, spicy scent to it, which mixed with the savory odor of the sausage patty very well. Furthermore, the jalapeño pieces were plentiful and looked as though they were fresh (as opposed to pickled) when they were baked into the biscuit, which generally indicates a spicier pepper experience.

I tore off some bites before I ate the sandwich as a whole so that I could isolate the taste of the biscuit itself. It was somewhat dry on the edges – a common problem with fast food biscuits, I’ve noticed – but the inner parts were fluffy and moist.

There was a nice kick of heat and the delicious flavor of fresh jalapeños right away, mixed in with the more subtle but welcome taste of cheese. When eaten as a sandwich, the cheddar in the biscuit was overwhelmed by the more aggressive cheese slice, but the jalapeños remained, giving my breakfast sandwich a little heat to compliment the sausage patty’s spices.

Whataburger set out to make a Jalapeño Cheddar Biscuit, and they succeeded. The peppers give it a little kick, but not so much that you’re questioning why you decided to set your mouth on fire at 8 a.m. While the cheddar flavor disappears in sandwich form, it’s still notable in the biscuit itself.

However, if you’re more into something a little sweet for your morning commute, this biscuit probably isn’t for you. Maybe it’s just me, but it doesn’t seem like maple syrup and jalapeños would play together very well.

As for the contents of my sandwich, the sausage patty wasn’t really anything spectacular – average thickness; tender and juicy with the standard breakfast sausage seasonings. That said, it’d be fairly difficult to make a ground pork sausage patty that wasn’t tender. The cheese was just a regular slice of American. A teensy bit disappointing, since Whataburger tends to be a cut above your average fast food when it comes to their burger offerings.

So, if you’re already a fan of biscuit sandwiches, I’d definitely recommend you substitute your regular ol’ biscuit with a Whataburger Jalapeño Cheddar Biscuit. It’s a savory, slightly spicy change of pace, and it’s only available for a limited time served between 11 p.m. – 11 a.m., so why not give it a go. If this were a commercial, I’d end this review with a sentence like, “Spice up your morning routine!”

But this isn’t a commercial, so just, you know, try the damn biscuit.

(Nutrition Facts [Biscuit only] — 1 biscuit — 350 calories, 200 calories from fat, 22 grams of total fat, 12 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 10 milligrams of cholesterol, 730 milligrams of sodium, 31 grams of total carbohydrates, 2 grams of dietary fiber, and 8 grams of protein.)

Item: Whataburger Jalapeño Cheddar Biscuit
Purchased Price: $2.64
Size: N/A
Purchased at: Whataburger
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Jalapeño peppers were plentiful and offered a nice kick. Dreaming of a sausage gravy road. Most of the biscuit was fluffy and moist. Finding a biscuit I wouldn’t throw in the trash. Cheddar in biscuit added a nice touch. Definite flavor upgrade from a regular biscuit.
Cons: Biscuit edges are dry. Owning a Limp Bizkit CD. Cheddar in biscuit disappears when paired with cheese slice. Sounding like a commercial. Breakfast not offered all day at Whataburger. Wow, that’s a lot of fat for one biscuit!