NEWS: Jamba Juice’s New Line of Fruit Refreshers Includes Mother Nature’s Gatorade

/ / Fast Food News / 1 Comment

Coconut Tree

Coconut water has been praised by people who are much skinnier than me and do something called exercise for being a fat free beverage that contains electrolytes, potassium, and antioxidants. Some of those people call coconut water Mother Nature’s Gatorade, but others call it the most pain in the ass beverage to extract.

Thankfully, coconut water has recently become a trendy beverage and a number of companies have been doing the coconut water extracting for us and putting it into easy to drink containers. Coconut water has become so happenin’ that Jamba Juice is jumping on the coconut water bandwagon with their Fruit Refreshers with Coconut Water.

The Fruit Refreshers line comes in three flavors:

Purely Pineapple – a blend of pineapple juice, pineapple sherbet, coconut water, peaches, and ice.

Strawberry Lemonade – a combination of strawberries, lemonade, coconut water, lime sherbet, sorbet, and ice.

Tropical Mango – a blend of mangos, passion-mango juice, coconut water, pineapple sherbet, orange sherbet, and ice.

A 16-ounce serving of each flavor has 230 calories or less, contains as much potassium as a banana, are made with whole fruit, and are an excellent source of vitamin C. The new Fruit Refreshers with Coconut Water will be available beginning Tuesday, May 24. Hey! That’s tomorrow!

Also, for a limited time, Jamba Juice is providing a coupon for you to try a Sixteen size Fruit Refresher for just two smackers at participating locations. You can print a coupon from www.jambajuice.com or http://www.facebook.com/jambajuice.

REVIEW: Nabisco Chips Ahoy! Chewy Gooey Cookies (Chocofudge and Megafudge)

/ / Reviews / 14 Comments

Chips Ahoy Chewy Gooey Chocofudge

Chips Ahoy cookies are like the human drug testing subjects of the cookie world because Nabisco will stick anything into them to see if it works. Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups…yup. Heath Candy Bar pieces…yup. Candy coated chocolate pieces…yup. Oatmeal…yup. Patriotism…yup.

This time around they’re putting fudge into the center of their signature chocolate chip cookies to create Chips Ahoy Chewy Gooey Chocofudge and Megafudge cookies. Yes, the fudge puts the “gooey” in the Chips Ahoy Chewy Gooey. Yes, Chocofudge and Megafudge sound like Godzilla’s gigantic blob-like neighbors on Monster Island. And, yes, I wish one of them was named Superfudge so that, much like Nabisco stuffs fudge into these cookies, I could stuff this review with Judy Blume references.

The Chocofudge version looks like a regular Chewy Chips Ahoy cookie, while the Megafudge looks like a Chips Ahoy cookie from a bizarro dimension with its chocolate cookie and white chocolate chips. Although, due to the fudge injection, both varieties look a little more plump than regular Chewy Chips Ahoy.

Fudge fills each cookie like a Great Dane fills a Smart Car. With the amount of fudge it’s almost impossible to not get fudge in every bite, unless you’re one of those odd people who nibbles a cookie like a bunny rabbit nibbles on a carrot.

Chips Ahoy Chewy Gooey Megafudge

The Chips Ahoy Chewy Gooey cookies are chewy, but I’m not completely sold on the gooey part. In my mind I’ve always imagined gooey being something soft and sticky that holds together as if their lives depended on it as it’s being stretched apart and only separating because gravity demanded it. Although, I may have this mindset from watching way too many pizza commercials. There is some stretching, but the fudge gives up easily, much like I do when playing Madden at All-Madden difficulty. But the fudge doesn’t cry, throw a controller across the room, and scream “I suuuuuck.”

While they aren’t gooey in my eyes, the Chips Ahoy Chewy Gooey Chocofudge are really good and a step above regular Chewy Chips Ahoy. Heck, let me say they’re also better than regular non-chewy Chips Ahoy. The fudge, while not quality stuff, does give the cookie a significantly stronger chocolate flavor which makes these cookies much more satisfying than regular Chips Ahoy.

Chips Ahoy Chewy Gooey Cookies

As for the Chips Ahoy Chewy Gooey Megafudge, I can’t say I enjoyed them as much as the Chocofudge. And I blame the white chocolate chips for that. The chocolate cookie and fudge give it a deep chocolate flavor, but the white chocolate chips disrupt it. They’re like those people who ruin the telling of a really good story by interrupting the storyteller at the most interesting moments with meaningless comments and questions, like “What happened next?” or “If that was me, I’d slap that bitch.”

What happened next? If you shut up, you’ll find out.

I’m glad Nabisco decided to stuff fudge into these Chips Ahoy Chewy Gooey cookies instead of dipping them in fudge like they do with their Oreo cookies, because having fudge on the outside tends to get a little messy. Although, since Chips Ahoy are like the human drug testing subjects of the cookie world, I wouldn’t be surprised if a fudge filled and fudge dipped Chips Ahoy cookie popped up on store shelves.

(Nutrition Facts – 2 cookies – Chocofudge – 150 calories, 60 calories from fat, 7 grams of fat, 3.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 1 gram of polyunsaturated fat, 2 grams of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 110 milligrams of sodium, 60 milligrams of potassium, 21 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 13 grams of sugar, and 1 grams of protein. Megafudge – 150 calories, 60 calories from fat, 7 grams of fat, 3.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 1 gram of polyunsaturated fat, 2 grams of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 110 milligrams of sodium, 80 milligrams of potassium, 21 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 13 grams of sugar, and 1 grams of protein)

Item: Nabisco Chips Ahoy! Chewy Gooey Cookies (Chocofudge and Megafudge)
Price: $3.99 each
Size: 10 ounces
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 8 out of 10 (Chocofudge)
Rating: 6 out of 10 (Megafudge)
Pros: Chocofudge is a better Chips Ahoy cookie. Enough fudge to have fudge in every bite. Strong chocolate flavor. Not using an exclamation point after EVERY Chips Ahoy reference. Judy Blume.
Cons: Not as gooey as I hoped. White chocolate chips throw off flavor of Megafudge. People who interrupt storytellers. Playing Madden at All-Madden level.

NEWS: New Splenda Essentials Will Give Us More Than An Artificial Sweetener Aftertaste

/ / Spotted on Shelves

Splenda

Whenever I put a spoonful of sugar in my iced tea or a pinch of sugar on my cereal or a sprinkle of sugar on ice cream or dump half a box of sugar on the ground to attract ants so that I can burn them with the sun and a magnifying glass, I wonder if it’s possible to give sugar properties that go beyond rotting my teeth and making me gain weight when I consume it with my iced tea, cereal, and ice cream. For example, sugar with calcium or sugar with caffeine.

While Splenda isn’t pure sugar, it now comes in new varieties that have added nutritional benefits.

The new line of zero calorie artificial sweeteners is called Splenda Essentials and they come in three varieties. Splenda Essentials with Fiber offers one gram of fiber per packet; Splenda Essentials with B Vitamins has 20 percent of the daily values of vitamins B1, B5 and B6 per packet; and Splenda Essentials with Antioxidants contains 20 percent of the daily values of vitamins C and E per packet.

All three Splenda Varieties are available in 80-count boxes of packets and have a suggested retail price of $4.29. Splenda Essentials with Fiber is also available in a 1.6-pound carton and a 3-pound resealable bag and retail for $4.99 and $7.49, respectively.

NEWS: Planters Gets Their Nut Crushing Groove On To Make Peanut Butter

/ / Spotted on Shelves / 2 Comments

New York. Times Square. Mr. Peanut

Planters has done more things to nuts than male YouTubers with swollen testicles and temporary high pitched voices. They’ve dry roasted, lightly salted, honey roasted, chocolate covered, fruit blended, and nut mixed them, just to name a few.

But the one thing male YouTubers with swollen cajones have done that Planters hasn’t is crush their nuts. However, that has changed with the introduction of Planters Peanut Butter.

I’m not sure why it’s taken this long for Planters to come out with peanut butter. Unless Mr. Peanut is real and for years prevented it from happening because seeing peanuts being crushed into a creamy paste made him cringe like I cringe when I watch a video on YouTube of some guy getting hit in the nads with a golf club.

Update: According to Dave, in his comment below, Planters Peanut Butter isn’t new, they made peanut butter in the 1970-1980s. After doing a little research, I found this link to an old Planters Peanut Butter commercial.

Planters Peanut Butter is available in creamy and crunchy varieties, and will be sold in 28 ounce containers.

REVIEW: Nabisco Oreo Brownies

/ / Reviews / 4 Comments

The Nabisco Oreo Brownies sound like the most awesome combination of sweets that has ever been conceived.

The melding of Oreo cookies with chewy brownies sounds so awesome that I believe by just touching it it’ll bring a smile to my face, cause rainbows to form on a sunny day, and make birds sing to me instead of pooping on my car.

However, Oreo Brownies aren’t as awesome as they sound or as awesome as what I typed to overly hype them in the previous paragraph. You see, Oreo Brownies aren’t really brownies and those birds are going to poop on your car, especially if you feed them these Oreo Brownies.

If you look though the annals of the internet, you’ll discover there used to be Nabisco Oreo Brownies which were brownies with Oreo pieces baked in, but these Nabisco Oreo Brownies are different. Although they’re not completely unfamiliar.

Do you enjoy stuffing your cakehole with Oreo Cakesters? Then you’ll enjoy stuffing your browniehole with Oreo Brownies because they both taste exactly alike. However, while the Oreo Cakesters have an airiness to them, like cake, these Oreo Brownies are a little more dense, like, you guess it, brownies.

Nabisco Oreo Brownies Naked

If you’ve never had the pleasure of eating Oreo Cakesters, they taste like chocolate Hostess CupCakes. And if you’ve never had the pleasure of eating chocolate Hostess CupCakes, you’re probably skinny and have never had chocolate cake get stuck under your fingernails.

Since Oreo Cakesters and Oreo Brownies taste the same, deciding which product to pick up depends on what you prefer: something that looks like an Oreo on steroids or something that looks like an Oreo Cakester on better steroids that was shot by one of Spider-Man’s web-shooters. Or if you’re a stickler for metrics, do you go with two Oreo Cakesters, which are 14 grams heavier than an Oreo Brownie, but have more calories, saturated fat, and sugar? Or if you’re a stickler for value, do you go with a box of Oreo Cakesters that has seven packs of two cookies or a box of Oreo Brownies that comes with ten brownies?

Because I’m a fan of Oreo Cakesters, it’s easy for me to like these Oreo Brownies, but at the same time they disappoint me because they taste like Oreo Cakesters and not some Oreo/brownie hybrid that makes rainbows appear and deters birds from pooping on my car.

If you do decide to pick up a box of Nabisco Oreo Brownies, I’d recommend sticking them in the fridge for a little while because they end up a little chewier and a little awesomer.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 brownie – 190 calories, 9 grams of fat, 3 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 2 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 3 grams of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 150 milligrams of sodium, 65 milligrams of potassium, 26 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram fiber, 15 grams of sugar, 2 grams of protein, 20% calcium and 10% iron.)

Item: Nabisco Oreo Brownies
Price: $4.99
Size: 10 brownies
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Tastes like an Oreo Cakester. Tastes like Hostess CupCakes. Better when chilled. Contains poly- and monounsaturated fats.
Cons: Tastes like an Oreo Cakester. Thinner than I thought they’d be. Not actual brownies, just shaped like brownies. Doesn’t cause rainbows to form on a sunny day. Birds pooping on my car.

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