REVIEW: Mother’s Frosted Cookies Made with Nerds

Mother's x Nerds -- a collab no one saw coming

My initial plan for this review was to write a parody of Danzig’s seminal hit song, “Mother.”

After tasting a few of Mother’s new Frosted Animal Cookies with Nerds, I realized the words didn’t even need to change.


“Mother,

Can you keep them in the dark for life?
Can you hide them from the waiting world?
Ohhhhh, MOTHER!”

It’s more like, “oh, brother!” These cookies should’ve been kept in the dark for life. They should’ve been hidden from the waiting world. Do you hear that, Mother?

These stink worse than the zoo animals they’re shaped like.

Pink...yay, it's a girl!

Blue, yay it's a boy!

On the surface iced shortbread cookies skimpily dotted with Nerds sounds like a lot of fun. I was ready to have a great time and let my inner child out, but these are an atrocity against both man and beast.

But the inside it pink?

The cookies are coated in a waxy substance that tastes like… maybe a light berry flavor? I have no idea. I’m guessing because they’re painted like a “one boy, one girl Twin” birth reveal. The inner shortbread cookie is red, for some reason. I guess we’re cool with food dyes again, because that’s basically the entire ingredient list.

Sweet and tangy!

And don’t you dare ask Mother about the flavor, because all she tells us is that they are “sweet and tangy.” While Nerds do add a little tang to the equation, there aren’t enough Nerds big or flavorful enough to stand out over the gross wax-cing.

The icing literally tastes like wax, and the cookies have a bad texture too. They’re too hard. I’ve had frosted animal cookies in the past, probably from this brand, and I swear they weren’t this terrible.

It's summer!

As you can see I bought these during the recent heatwave. They were in the car for all of a half hour, with AC, and still melted into a massive ball of animal carnage. I guess it’s a rule that all circus animals be treated poorly.

“But if you wanna find hell with me
I can show you what it’s like!”

It’s like this massive cookie Katamari. Worst Nerds Cluster ever!

If I have to highlight some positives, how about the fun classic animal shapes? I think I saw a lion, a bunny that was probably a big Nerd mascot? A camel perhaps. The fabled Chupacabra? Is that Slimer from Ghostbusters? I don’t know, I couldn’t really tell even before they were all just an amorphous pink and blue glob of Nerds measles.

Nerds! That’s a positive. We love Nerds! Well, this must be the “Revenge of the Nerds” I keep hearing about. Mother doesn’t do them any favors, but I genuinely don’t think Nerds would work as a sprinkle on even the best cookies.

“Tell your children not to understand!”

I genuinely don’t even think kids will like these. If my mother baked these, I would have emancipated.

Danzig couldn’t really sum up my ultimate feelings – only one man could.

To quote the legendary thespian, Samuel L. Jackson:

“MOTHER F-rosted Cookies with Nerds are simply not it.”

May have misquoted him. Call your mother!

Purchased Price: $3.74
Size: 9 oz package
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 2 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (7 Cookies) 140 calories, 5 grams of fat, 5 grams of saturated fat, 0 gram of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 50 milligrams of sodium, 21 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 13 grams of sugar, and 1 gram of protein.

REVIEW: Oreo x BTS Cookies

BTS gets top billing

Before the Saja Boys in KPop Demon Hunters, there was BTS.

If you live under a rock (no shade), BTS is a seven-member South Korean boy band that officially crossed over to the US charts around 2017 and was absolutely on fire – breaking Billboard records and creating catchy tracks that had everyone’s Spotify Wrapped looking a little different.

Then, one by one, all seven members headed off for mandatory military service in South Korea.

But their comeback? Wild. Their fanbase, called ARMY, is voracious and ready, and the proof is in the cookie: BTS’ World Tour sold out, and on top of that, they completely sold out their Oreo x BTS Cookies on the Oreo website (including the pre-sale) before most of us could even get to checkout. But now the cookie collab is available in brick-and-mortar stores.

Prince would've loved these. Purple and pancake flavored.

The flavor they chose is appropriately personal: hotteok, a warm brown sugar-stuffed pancake popular in Korean street food markets that BTS has fond childhood memories of.

To honor their 13th anniversary as a group, BTS apparently designed all 13 unique embossments themselves, which already puts this above other Oreo music collabs (looking at you, Selena Gomez: only six special designs? Ha!).

13 designs. Would've been cooler if was 13 different flavors.

The embossments include things like the BTS light stick (a wand that pulses to the beat of their music), member names, Korean finger hearts, and love notes to ARMY. Three of the designs even piece together into a hidden message – spoiler: BTS loves ARMY. Cute! The embossing itself is also impressively crisp and clear. No accidentally merged letters. Props!

The wafers are a pleasant lavender color. Oreo’s first-ever purple cookie was created specifically to honor ARMY, since purple symbolizes love and trust within the fandom after one member coined “I Purple You.”

Eating it, though, it turns out it’s a dyed golden Oreo, and that’s perfectly fine by me. Some cookies arrived cracked and/or broken, boo, but most were intact.

The creme is a combo of two flavors.

It smells like sweet caramel, but the creme’s flavor gives big brown sugar boba vibes in the best way. The creme has a mixed swirl of tan and white with little flecks throughout. Scraping some with my front teeth, I realized the flecks are sugary flavor crystals that enhance the whole experience. Eaten whole, it’s dang good, and the cookie part nods to the pancake-y exterior of a hotteok.

This is probably my favorite Oreo flavor in a long, long time. If you find this limited edition flavor, cop it!

Purchased Price: $5.29
Size: 10.68 oz
Purchased at: Meijer
Rating: 9 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (2 cookies/29 grams) 140 calories, 6 grams of fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 90 milligrams of sodium, 21 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 12 grams of sugar (includes 12 grams of added sugar), and less than 1 gram of protein.

REVIEW: Firecracker Pop Oreo Cookies

Firecracker Pop Oreo patriotic packaging.

During this semiquincentennial summer, there are a number of new red, white, and blue products, and one of the most intriguing is this Firecracker Pop Oreo. Designed to mimic a patriotic ice pop, it features layers of cherry, lemon, and blue raspberry creme between vanilla cookies.

I think the name is a bit peculiar. Both “firecracker” and “pop” sound like there will be popping candy, as was done for previous years’ Firework Oreo. There’s no popping candy here, just as an ice pop does not pop. Also, “Firecracker” sounds like it could be an official collaboration with the Popsicle brand. (Most companies opt for a more generic name, like “rocket pop” or “summer ice pop.”)

This is not the first time we’ve seen Fourth of July colors for Oreos. In 2012, it had vanilla Oreos with blue and red creme, and in 2020, they had unfortunately timed Olympics Oreos with red, white, and blue creme between chocolate cookies. This 2026 version is unique, though, because there are flavors to go with the colors.

Am I supposed to say the Pledge of Allegiance while looking at this picture of the red, white and blue cremes?

When I open the package, I smell a fruity scent, maybe dominated by raspberry. And the cookies are gorgeous to look at.

The classic vanilla Oreo cookie on a spoon.

I like looking at them, but I also like tasting them! The vanilla wafer was a good choice: It’s sweet and crunchy without an overpowering flavor that would clash with the creme.

Red, a peeking white, and blue cremes.

And about that creme: The layers have a distinct, almost refreshing, artificial fruit flavor, just like an actual “firecracker pop” or a chewy candy. I can’t say that any of the individual flavors dominate when eaten all together.

An ice pop is inherently very sweet, and since there are three creme layers in this cookie, there’s more sweetness than a typical Oreo has. Even so, I don’t think it’s excessively sweet. (I mean, if you’re buying Oreos, you already know what you’re getting into.) Also, the thickness means there’s a lot more squishing than with a regular or Double Stuf Oreo. Opening the cookie and isolating the creme seems more satisfying in this Firecracker Pop edition.

Aargh! Poor white creme!

I attempted to separate the layers to see if each color is a different flavor. This was challenging to do, especially for the white layer, but I can confirm that each layer tastes different. Red is an especially vibrant cherry, like a red snow cone.

And since it’s Oreo we’re talking about, I had to try the cookies in milk. The milk neither enhanced nor ruined the flavor; it’s purely a textural difference.

I am delighted that Firecracker Pop Oreos exist and that they were executed so well. I worry these are a one-summer wonder, and we won’t see them again, but I really hope we do.

Purchased Price: $4.49
Purchased at: Smith’s (Kroger)
Size: 11.46 oz
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (2 cookies) 180 calories, 9 grams of fat, 3.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 80 milligrams of sodium, 25 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of dietary fiber, 15 grams of sugar (includes 15 grams of added sugar), and less than 1 gram of protein.

Chips Ahoy Brookie Baked Bites Review

Chips Ahoy Brookie Baked Bites box

It feels as though we’re at a point evolutionarily where it’s odd when new foods are introduced. I’m not talking about when a pizza chain stuffs its crust with a new meat, or Taco Bell assembles four ingredients in a revolutionary way. I mean, when food scientists introduce a totally new, never-before-seen product.

Desserts have had a couple of notable ones over the last decade or so. You all probably remember the cronut craze that started in 2013 when NY pastry chef Dominique Ansel mated a donut with a croissant. And around that same time—either slightly before or slightly after (internet records are sketchy)—somebody somewhere bred a brownie with a cookie. You might know it as a brookie.

Why did it take thousands of years for this delightful abomination to happen? I have no idea. But once it did, the horses were out of the barn. Now, the gluttonously sugared bricks are available essentially wherever desserts are found. That said, not all brookies are created equal. For every Killer Brownie version, there are, well, whatever the hell Chips Ahoy is doing here.

While I didn’t have the highest of hopes—Chips Ahoy is a middling pre-packaged cookie, after all—I guess I was expecting something better than this.

There are 5-7 Chips Ahoy Brookie Baked Bites per pack

There are 5-7 irregularly sized squares in each package and several packages within the box. There is no discernible difference that I could taste between the brownie and the cookie. They have a pleasantly soft texture with a slight amount of chew, but that’s where the positive notes end. The taste itself is bland. It is vaguely chocolate-like in nature, but there’s no nuance. The best chocolate chip cookies have a hint of salt, but there’s none of that here. It barely tastes like there’s even any sugar. The first thing I thought when I took a bite was, “Are these diet?” And I don’t mean diet as though they’ve been infused with an artificial sweetener. I mean diet as in it tastes like half the sugar was cut out of it.

I couldn’t finish a package, and it probably goes without saying that I damn sure won’t finish the box. These are destined to languish deep within the recesses of my pantry, only to be uncovered upon my death, or my home sale—whichever occurs first.

NOTE: We also reviewed the Blondie version, which was just as bad.

Purchased Price: $4.28
Size: 7 oz box/5 1.4 oz packs
Purchased at: Hy-Vee
Rating: 2 out of 10
Nutrition Facts:(1 pack) 180 calories, 8 grams of fat, 4 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 10 milligrams of cholesterol, 75 milligrams of sodium, 25 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 12 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Girl Scouts Exploremores Cookies

Girl Scouts Exploremores Cookies box

Girl Scout Cookie Season is upon us! The lineup expands to 11 total varieties this year with the addition of Exploremores. Girl Scouts describe this new cookie as Rocky Road ice cream-inspired, featuring chocolate, marshmallow, and toasted almond crème.

First impression: two sleeves in the box. Thin Mints energy, which gets me hype because they’re a classic favorite of mine.

Girl Scouts Exploremores Cookies sleeves

As soon as I open the package, I notice a strong marshmallow aroma. The cookies look just like the photo on the box (love when expectations match reality). They twist apart like an Oreo, which feels intentional given the sandwich-cookie setup.

Girl Scouts Exploremores Cookies wafers

Flavor-wise, the almond stays extremely subtle. I don’t get toasted nuttiness or aggressive almond extract notes. Honestly, I almost wonder if I’m imagining it. Double chocolate dominates. Not deep, dark cacao energy. More of a classic chocolate cookie vibe.

Girl Scouts Exploremores Cookies creme top view

Girl Scouts Exploremores Cookies creme side view

The marshmallow shows up more in the smell than in the taste. The crème layer runs much thinner than an Oreo’s, so don’t expect that thick, fluffy middle.

Sweetness lands right in the standard Girl Scout range. It tastes balanced and actually less sweet than a Samoa, which I appreciate.

Girl Scouts Exploremores Cookies in milk

I dunk one in milk to see if it enhances the almond or unlocks more Rocky Road vibes. It doesn’t. The milk amplifies the marshmallow note instead, and I prefer the cookie plain.

Texture-wise, the cookie feels softer than an Oreo. Think chocolate Teddy Grahams rather than that crisp cookie snap.

Within the full Girl Scout lineup, I like it. Just don’t expect full Rocky Road in cookie form. Go in thinking double chocolate sandwich cookie and you’ll be set. It doesn’t dethrone my personal favorites, but I appreciate what it adds to the roster.

Purchased Price: $6
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (2 cookies – 26g) 130 calories, 5 grams of fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 100 milligrams of sodium, 18 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 8 grams of sugar, and 1 gram of protein.

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