The Impulsive Buy

REVIEW: Cheetos Flamin’ Hot Cinnamon Sugar Popcorn

Vin / December 8, 2023 / Reviews / 7 Comments

Spicy cinnamon is a flavor profile that’s never really taken off.

Unless we’re talking pre-Great Depression era JawBreakers, Hot Tamales, Big Red gum, or a shot of the worst whiskey on the shelf, I can’t even think of anything else with that kinda burn that’s made it to the mass market.

Actually, that’s not entirely true. Back in high school, I developed a little bit of an addiction to cinnamon-flavored toothpicks. I used to chew on those Fire-pix so much that the corner of my lips started to look like bootleg Joker makeup.

The reason I bring those toothpicks up is because I needed one after eating a few handfuls of new Cheetos Flamin’ Hot Cinnamon Sugar Popcorn, a popcorn that almost turned me into a bootleg Joker because they left me wanting to watch the world burn!

Ok, that’s extreme, but this popcorn is Flamin’ Hot Garbage.

I’ll preface the review by saying I’m not the biggest fan of the “Flamin’ Hot” line from Frito Lay. I think the heat tends to alter the iconic flavors. With that said, I do like a little heat, I love cinnamon, and I dig Cheetos Sweetos. How could these possibly be a miss?

Before even getting into the flavor, this is just trash-tier popcorn. It tastes stale and has more rogue kernels than a treasonous misspelled army.

The “flavor” is the ultimate killer though.

If I reviewed these on the instant flavor burst of the very first bite… this would still be an extremely negative review.

These literally just taste like “hot.” That’s the flavor, “hot.” When you put a piece in your mouth, it’s like an air of cinnamon for half a second, and then it tastes like nothing but “hot.”

I expected these to taste like spicy Cheetos Sweetos with the sweetness still coming through. For something labeled “cinnamon sugar,” there is a blip of sweetness. Half a blip. A bl–. They barely taste like cinnamon, let alone sugar. Why couldn’t these be both sweet and hot? Have taste buds not evolved to experience both of those sensations at once?

It’s a shame because the level of heat is kinda perfect. I think it’s slightly less than the usual Flamin’ Hot stuff. I would have no problem eating a decent portion of these if they actually tasted good and weren’t popcorn rejected from the three-flavor Christmas tins. I enjoyed the after-burn feeling in my mouth more than the popcorn itself.

The pieces being bright red like regular Cheetos made me mad. The bewildering quote on the bag, “Deck the sweets with pops of heat,” made me madder. I’m not sure I’ve ever used the word “hate” in a review, but I think I hate these. I’m flamin’ hot!

Ok, ok, I’ll calm down. “Why so serious,” and whatnot. I just really wanted these to be something new and exciting.

Like my terrible book, “The Hangman’s Folly,” it was a novel idea with a totally botched execution. I’ll bump it up one for the idea, but this attempt at spicy cinnamon crashed and burned.

Purchased Price: $4.38
Size: 6.5 oz bag
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 2 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (2 1/4 Cups) 160 calories, 10 grams of fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 130 milligrams of sodium, 15 grams of total carbohydrates, 4 grams of total sugars, 2 grams of fiber, and 2 grams of protein.

SPOTTED (NOT FOOD EDITION): 12/8/2023

Marvo / December 8, 2023 / Spotted on Shelves / 2 Comments

Here are some interesting new non-food products found on store shelves by your fellow readers.

(Spotted by Robbie at Burlington.)

(Spotted by Robbie at Hobby Lobby.)

If you’re out shopping and see new products, snap a picture of them, and send them in via an email ([email protected]) with where you found them and “Spotted” in the subject line. Also, if you want to send in photos and are wondering if we’ve already covered something or if they’re new, don’t worry about it. Let us worry about it.

REVIEW: Popeyes Honey BBQ and Roasted Garlic Parmesan Wings

Marvo / December 7, 2023 / Reviews / 6 Comments

Popeyes has three new chicken wing flavors — Honey BBQ, Roasted Garlic Parmesan, and Signature Hot. Unfortunately, for this review, I was unable to purchase the Signature Hot one (it’s not available at my local Popeyes for some reason), but fortunately for my mouth, I don’t have to experience its burn.

Popeyes’ website says the Honey BBQ and Roasted Garlic Parmesan are two flames on the chain’s five-point spiciness scale, one below its Ghost Pepper Wings. But the Signature Hot is four flames, so both ends of my digestive system are delighted that they had no contact with it. As for the two chicken wing flavors I did try, they would also be two flames on my five-point heat scale. Although I found the Honey BBQ one has a slightly stronger kick and a more lasting spiciness.

To be honest, spicy garlic parmesan wings are a bit weird to me, and the heat distracts from the flavor. It’s odd because every garlic parmesan chicken wing I’ve had up to this point in my life has been the non-mouth-burning kind.

They smell like Caesar salad dressing and have a parmesan-heavy and sometimes mild garlicky taste. But that cheese hits my tongue hard like it’s being used to shave the parmesan onto a Caesar salad. While I enjoyed the gloopy white sauce with minced garlic, I wish it was just one flame on the Popeyes heat index and a tad less salty.

As for the Honey BBQ, it’s sweet, peppery, and spicy. While it has some heat, the honey’s sweetness helps cut through it. It’s also thicker and stickier than the garlic parmesan one. This sauce was my favorite of the two, and I liked it enough that, after finishing every wing, I found myself sucking on my fingers to make sure I wasn’t wasting any of it. Also, BONUS, after eating all six wings, there was still a pool of it sitting in the tray they came in, which I saved and used as a chicken nuggets dipping sauce the next day.

Several years ago, pre-Popeyes Chicken Sandwich, the chain was known for creating creative sauces. It seemed like there was a new one every other month. Rajun Cajun BBQ, Garlic Herb, Cajun Creamy Garlic, Smokin’ Pepper Jam, Wild Honey Mustard, Spicy Pepper Ranch, Red Hot Honey, Creamy Cayenne, Smokin’ Pepper Ranch, Spicy Orange, and Ghost Pepper Ranch, just to name more than a few. While the current wing flavors seem like a good start, I hope Popeyes gets creative with sauces again and comes up with more for its wings.

Purchased Price: $13.99*
Size: 12 wings
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Roasted Garlic Parmesan), 8 out of 10 (Honey BBQ)
Nutrition Facts: (6 pieces) Roasted Garlic Parmesan – 1040 calories, 81 grams of fat, 24 grams of saturated fat, 2 grams of trans fat, 240 milligrams of cholesterol, 2860 milligrams of sodium, 29 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 3 grams of sugar, and 48 grams of protein. Honey BBQ – 880 calories, 46 grams of fat, 17 grams of saturated fat, 2 grams of trans fat, 210 milligrams of cholesterol, 2230 milligrams of sodium, 70 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 45 grams of sugar, and 46 grams of protein.

Fast Food Popeyes

SPOTTED: 12/7/2023

Marvo / December 7, 2023 / Spotted on Shelves / 1 Comment

Here are some interesting new products found on store shelves by your fellow readers. If you’ve tried any of them, share your thoughts in the comments.