You might be wondering why I only reviewed McDonald’s new Blackberry Passion Fruit Refresher and not the other two beverages in the newfangled product line. Well, that’s because the other two flavors — Strawberry-Watermelon and Mango-Pineapple — were totally sold out. Gee, who would’ve thought THESE things would’ve been such a smash hit in the foothills of north Georgia?

It’s pretty obvious what McDonald’s is going for with these Refreshers, and it’s especially clear with the Blackberry Passion Fruit mix. It looks like a Starbucks drink, it smells like a Starbucks drink, and it’s almost priced as much as a Starbucks drink — but can Mickey D’s really beat a certain Seattle coffee monolith at its own game?

Well, the short answer is … nah, at least as far as the Blackberry Passion Fruit Refresher is concerned.

The product is definitely a McNovelty. The beverage is anchored around a lemonade base with a deluge of blackberry flavoring stirred into it. And not only do we get a dose of passion fruit syrup, but we get more passion fruit on top of it. As in, the extra passion fruit is literally frozen in humongous chunks of ice, like an esoteric fruit version of Captain America or something. It’s not exactly something I’d expect to ever see at McDonald’s, but hey, we all went through our experimental art phase at some point.

I guess my biggest issue with the drink is the use of the term “Refresher.” I see that, and I instinctively think something sweet, or at least a bit syrupy on the taste buds. This Refresher, however, is surprisingly stout and bitter, even for a lemonade-based beverage. The blackberry and dragon fruit flavorings aren’t terribly harmonious here, and they don’t really gel all that well with the lemonade. The first couple of sips were definitely a culture shock for me. Indeed, I had to pinch myself to make sure I was on Ronald’s turf and not trying a sample at Teavana.

Thankfully, your tongue does get acclimated to the beverage the more you drink it. I suppose if you’re in a certain mood and you’re pairing it with some very specific meal, it would be a bang-up drink. This is something you delicately sip while in a study, listening to Cocteau Twins, and not something you’d want to reach for in the fridge right after mowing the lawn. And it definitely does not go well with pancakes, if anybody asks.

Perhaps saying I was “disappointed” by this Refresher is too harsh. It’s not a bad drink at all, and I can see how some people might really dig it. Alas, the mixologists at McDonald’s look like they still have some reformulating to do before they get this specific recipe right. You can almost taste what could’ve been here, and with a bit more tweaking, it definitely could’ve been a Starbucks-tier offering.

As it is, it’s merely alright. It does look pretty cool, though. Even if they didn’t mean to, this thing is TOTALLY Grimace-coded.

Purchased Price: $3.99
Size: Large
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 270 calories, 0 grams of fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 75 milligrams of sodium, 66 grams of carbohydrates, 59 grams of sugar, 0 grams of fiber, and 1 gram of protein.